Wednesday, March 12, 2008

True Wife Confessions 241 - Today's Special

Confession #2401

Dear husband,

If I do not get a good night’s sleep sometime soon I may very well smother you with my pillow. I cannot function on 3 or 4 hours of sleep every day. If you are going to stay up late do not watch TV in the bedroom, turn down the volume on your stupid video games, do not wake me up after midnight with questions that can wait until morning and do not turn on the stereo when I am trying to sleep in the next room. I am not being unreasonable to expect that you do these things. There is no reason for you to do this at 1 or 2 in the morning when our son and I are trying to sleep.

Your zombie wife

Confession #2402

To my role-playing Geek Man, dear Husband, I adore you. Please keep
meeting your friends from time to time to role play, and let us please
keep inviting them to our home from time to time to also role play.

I kind of like it when you play a Druid or a Bard. And hey, sometimes
I want to be a Druid, too.

Love, your druidy wife

Confession #2403

To My Husband,

By the end of this day, a young woman we both know and love as a daughter will be engaged to a sweet young man who adores, cherishes and loves her will likely have proposed with great romantic flourish. My guess is, he'll hire a banner-tow plane to fly a banner proposal over her home as he kneels down before her to ask for her hand in marriage. And if I know this lovely young woman as I believe I do, she will happily cry her "yes", knowing in her heart that he will never bruise or betray her or her love.

I wish I was her. Or rather, that you could have loved me as he loves her. I wish you had loved and respected me enough to have proposed with tenderness, care and love, instead of treating it like the course of last resort. We both know why we're married, and it had far less to do with love and romance (on your part) than convenience and comfort. I provided you then, as I do still, with a cush gig. Even though I worked long hours in an office I commuted an hour each way to, I took (and still take) excellent care of you. I'm laundress, cook, housekeeper, gardener, chauffeur, day care provider for your littlest child, travel-nanny for your teenager, baby sitter for your grandchildren. I even cook and care for your lovely and charming elderly mother (whom I adore). And I do it all willingly and with love. And still you treat me as a piece of property; casually and without regard for the fact that you're using me up.

Today as I think of our young friend becoming engaged, I'm once again flooded with sadness, that in response to your "okay, we'll get married",
I didn't tell you to F**K off, and walk away. But I was foolish and filled with hope, I would've done anything, agreed to anything, overlooked anything to become your wife. I loved you then. Now? Now I'm an empty imitation of the woman I once was. I no longer believe in love, or romance, or even hope. You've wrung it out of me and I've let you. I wish I could hate you and walk away. But I've let you take all my options away. I have no where to go and no money to take care of myself. Loving you has cost me "me" ... and I don't think I'll ever get me back. I'm not even sure it's worth the trouble.

Confession #2404

Here's my confession. I love you more than I ever thought I could possibly love another person. I cannot wait to have the child that we talk about all the time, and your desire to have a little girl makes me melt (you being the big,bad captain of the football team of your day). I'm terrified (for no particular reason) that I won't be able to get pregnant, but I know that we will be fine either way. You are the perfect partner, meeting me halfway any time that I need you to, most of the time coming more than halfway without me even having to ask. I hope this never changes.

Confession #2405

Dear Husband

I rang you tonight. The first time I have spoken to you since last August! Do you know I did not even recognise your voice at first? I was the bigger person and I think you were gutted. In these days of text and email people do not really need to talk, but I knew that my voice would hurt you and I am glad. You broke my heart but I am stronger than you think and will get past this. I have 2 fantastic kids and they will always be there for me.

We split after 27 years and I am 48. I cannot believe this has happened to me, and both my parents, if still living, would be devastated. You have let everyone down but then I would rather this happened to me now than 58! Every cloud has a silver lining if you just look for it. I have been with you forever and now I will learn how to be independent. It is just another chapter.

It is still not the future I thought we would have. I thought there would be weddings and grandbabies and us being so happy. There is none of that. Our kids will not feel relaxed at their own weddings because they are frightened that their Mom and Dad might fight.

You were the cause of this.

Confession #2406

don't know how I ended up in a relationship with you. You like to think you are sexy and that you are a gift to all women when in fact you are the least attractive person Ive ever been with. Aside from your mediocre looks you have by far the worst personality. Even after your cosmetic surgery you still only look average at best. I enjoyed how you said that you "go easy" on girl about their looks. Seriously, brush your teeth and buy a new shirt. I'm sick of seeing the same outfit everyday.
You enjoy picking apart a conversation and flipping situations only to benefit you in the end. While you brag about how good you are in bed I disagree. You have a lot to learn in that area.
When we first started dating you left your email account logged in on your computer so I decided to take a peek. I wasn't surprised to find numerous emails from ex girlfriends with attached nude pictures. Many emails from craigslist personals and one email from a dominatrix.
When we go out you make a point to acknowledge every girl and comment about how she looks. In fact on our first date you had to roll your tongue back in your mouth because you were staring at the waitress so hard. You are a dog and you will never find true love!
You are an angry asshole who needs to seek major help! No wonder girls cant stand to be with you longer then a few months at a time. You are going to end up just like your dad. Get over yourself!

Confession #2407

I think the reason I can't seem to lose weight (or keep it off when I do happen to lose it) is that I'm afraid I will have an affair.

Not because you're not great. You are, but you can go for a week, maybe even weeks without sex and I feel like one of my girlfriend's husbands who have to beg for sex.

I'm afraid if I felt even just a little more attractive I'd be able to muster up the courage to answer a Craigslist ad. The irony? I think this extra weight on me turns you off and contributes to your lack of interest in sex. I wonder if I lost some weight if maybe you'd want more sex.

But then, even if you did want more sex. I'm honestly not sure anyone could keep up with my appetite and it really freaks me out.

Confession #2408

I have had 3 moments when I have asked myself "Why in the hell did I marry him?" We have only been married 6 months. I can't look at him and know we will be together in 20 years. I am so scared I made a mistake.

Confession #2409

My sweet - after a full year of looking, we found my "g" spot. The orgasm I had was mind blowing - amazing. Thank you for being the type of man who is willing to explore with me - and not get defensive or uptight if one thing doesn't work. I love you more for your adventurous attitude and the space we have built between us that allows for our love and play. And thanks for finally letting go of some of your inhibitions - the sex we have just gets better and better.

Confession #2410

do you really want to be married to me with this attitude? Since you
finished school and started you first job (at the age of 30-something)
you have turned into a giant dick. I miss my husband.


Anonymous said...

2406: Oh, no - sounds like you got stuck with my ex-boyfriend! My heart goes out to you.

AY said...

It was so funny and true...I have seen all those in my ex...:)

Anonymous said...

#2401 - I think we may be married to the same man!

Anonymous said...


I have the same problem. I am a very attractive woman with such low self-esteem that I've gained 30 pounds. Gross. But I'm so afraid if I lose the weight, which is easy for me, I'll cheat on my husband. I love my husband so much that I'm afraid to take it off. I feel like such a weak asshole. I miss my body so much. I miss the clothes, I miss how much he loved my body.

Thank God for anon postings. I'm too ashamed.

Anonymous said...

Dear 2406

If you don't like this guy, why don't you break up with him? You haven't mentioned any redeeming qualities or any ties that keep you in the relationship. Free yourself and enjoy your life. It's too short to be with someone you don't even like.

Anonymous said...

aww, 9:26, have you thought about talking to either a trusted friend, a therapist or even your husband?

I honestly think that if you really wanted to cheat, you would regardless of an extra 30 pounds, so if you are not cheating now, maybe you would not if you got your body back.

I think many people use weight as a protective wall, I know I have a couple of times in my life. It was just easier.

AY said...

"If you don't like this guy, why don't you break up with him?"....

All humans are multilayered and you may like a layer and dislike another layer, it is not wise to advise someone to break up without knowing any details.

Anonymous said...

2403: you have broken my heart. too many times I have put my all into people who I thought I wanted so badly, and only now I'm realizing that for it to be what I really want, they have to do the same for me. All the best. xx

Anonymous said...


I'm slowly losing weight. It's not easy. He says I look great, but he's still content going weeks without sex. He knows I'm not. It's been a couple weeks now, and I've now put myself in the situation where I can easily find satisfaction with someone else... I haven't yet. I don't want to... but I do.

omnia_vincit_amor said...


Your post made me cry. Now with the tears dried and my thinking-cap on, I think you can still salvage what you'd like to salvage in your life. You are still the owner of your own soul, and you are still responsible for your own happiness. Think about couples therapy-- anything that will get the communication going between yourself and your husband, as it seems like that has been lacking and causing pain. You can leave if you want to, it would simply be a long-term plan. There are always other options. Work on finding yourself first, though-- and work at making your husband work more at the relationship. **hugs** I wish you all the best.

2407: Buy a vibrator. Or two. However many you need to feel satisfied. Take care of yourself.

And if your boyfriend is not compatible with you sexually, move on.

Weight or no weight, you need to come to terms with who you really are inside. If you have an insatiable libido like I do, then buy some toys and be ready to satisfy yourself when even your kinkiest, lustiest partner can't keep up. Take care of yourself. The therapist suggestion wasn't a bad idea either. You need to find out who you are, for real, before you can hitch yourself to someone else. Once you know your limits sexually and can take care of some of them yourself, then you can be confident that you won't cheat.

An perhaps the "fear of cheating" symbolizes something that you truly aren't getting in your relationship. Take full, rational stock of what you're getting and what you aren't getting from this man, and decide whether you honestly want to continue being with him or not.

And talk to him about what you're going through, sexually. Leave the cheating out of your discussion, but talk about wanting to experiment more or just have more sex, and see what he says.

Best of luck with everything!

omnia_vincit_amor said...

9:48 -

The bottom line is this, if you aren't happy, you may as well get out of the situation. We give this advice because we've been there, and we know from experience that you're probably better off alone than with someone who treats you so badly.

It's wise advice. It's up to you whether or not you take it.


fragrance lover said...

I agree, Omnia, live is too short to live in a very unsatisfying relationship. If this is a boyfriend and not a husband, then it is always best to move on (if therapy doesn't help and there are no kids involved.)

Sexual incompatibility sucks, the one who is wanted more always loses.

Anonymous said...

2405 - I feel your words and the sadness that has now transitioned to bitterness. He’s made a mockery out of you and the relationship – realize this and do not let him continue to take that from you!

Anonymous said...

To 2303, I swear that my own mother could have written this one. She is a stepmother (her third marriage, her first marriage, to my dad was 5 years, her second was 12 or 17 years, and this one, they have been together for 15 years and married for 7 or 8, and she has helped raise his four kids, a full time mom to three out of four of them.) He is a complete asshole. Verbally abusive and a pompous self-absorbed jerk who puts her down whenever he can while she caters to his every whim, and he as USED HER UP. She wanted this lifestyle. She helped him bring his business to a whole new level, and she signed a PRE-NUP for this blowhard, and he constantly tells her how fat and lazy she is (SHE RAISED his kids, fought cancer TWICE, and worked in the office with him, kept up a home, and helped three of the kids get into and attend university!) AND he calls HER lazy?? He had the nerve to even call me and tell me that I was not as successful as I should be.

WTF is it with some people?

Your post broke my heart, and it makes me think of my mom. I had to cut of contact with her because he makes her be horrible to me, and I cannot take anymore of the bullshit from this kind of family. I hope you can get out of this situation, if it is indeed using you up.

If you get away, you may be able to fill yourself up again. I honestly hope my mother does the same. She did leave him once before, but she goes back to the life with the house on the country club golf course. Some things have too high of a price, I think.

Anonymous said...


So sad, so tragic. I hope that, even if it's once a year, you let your mother know that you love her. You obviously do. You sound like made it through a very rocky relationship with her and still have compassion.

I think you rock.

Anonymous said...

10:22, thank you so much for your kind words and validation. It has only been a few weeks that I have cut off contact, and I actually almost went mad from the mental anguish it caused, and had to seek out professional help. This is not the first time I have had to cut of contact with her. She is no angel either, she is also an abusive personality, and was rather abusive towards me from when I was about 16 and older. I moved out at 18, but she has done some REAL heinous things to me.

SO bad infact, that it has kept me from having a family of my own, but hey, my husband and I decided to work out the shit from our past and start a family. I do know that I will NOT hurt my kids or spouse in this way. But you know, this kind of shit does leave scars, right, ladies?

Anonymous said...

I'm 2407, I am married.
My marriage is wonderful. I actually think my sexual appetite is the problem. I don't think it could ever be filled. Even if I did have an affair.

That's the part that freaks me out. That's the part (I think) keeps me fatter than I'd like.

I've got vibrators, toys, reading materials. I don't lack for orgasms, for sure.

I fear sex is filling in for another need. A need that can't be filled with sex. Only I don't really understand what it is that's driving me that way and so I can't seem to fix it.

fragrance lover said...

hmm, 2407, I would suggest a therapist specializing in addictive behavior or maybe a book on the subject, have you looked into that, or websites on this?

Anonymous said...

2408 - I can totally understand what you are going through. I feel like your living my life! I have been married for 8 months and am already trying to decide if I can stay and asking myself what I was thinking. I am so sorry that you are going through this as well!