I love you more then I can possibly imagine. You saved me. But if you become your father.....the thought of that scares the hell out of me. The irony is that by making me a strong confident woman you gave me the confidence and strength to stand up to you when you act like him.
Please fight this, You are better then him and that's why I love you.
I spoke to you last night for the first time in 7 months. You were a pig to me. I was left in bits when I was just trying to reason with you. How are you able to do this to me. I was not able to function today. I cannot believe that you are so evil towards me when I have been a great wife and raised 2 beautiful, independent children. Kids who have never given us a moments worry. I asked that we move on and discuss things in a rational way and all you did was call me "sweetheart" and "darling" in the most condescending voice. When my parents died you held me in your arms and told me that you adored me and I could always rely on you forever. What happened to that man? Where did he go?
I don't ever want you in my life again, but I am also very confused. What happened? Where did that kind, lovely man go?
I have the man I love, just not the marriage I love. Our first counseling appointment is next Friday. I am so excited, nervous and scared all at the same time. Excited because we need the help and we are getting it, nervous because counseling is always intense and scared that she we are going to find out that maybe we should’ve never gotten married and had kids together, and that everyone who told us that 10 years ago, will be right.
I'm so delighted to be sharing my life with you. Valentine's Day was just another example of how very in sync we are with each other. Even though we didn't talk about it in advance, you gave me a very sweet card, and I did the same for you. I liked that you gave it to me the night before, as you didn't think we would see each other on the 14th. And you liked that I drove over to your office on the 14th just to give you your valentine. We each do more giving in this relationship than taking. It's the most awesome relationship I've ever experienced in my LIFE. I love you deeply. You are an incredible man and the perfect partner for me.
Ex husband, and i use that term loosely,
I cannot believe what an ass you are. You stole a vehicle.. drove around in it.. had our children in it and had them sleep in it and then got put in jail. So now you sit in jail.. getting fed, clothed, entertained, and i sit wondering what i will do to pay for school lunches, or school clothes, or when i will actually get a minute to myself since you are not available for your visitation.
You are suppose to be in jail for five frickin years. I cannot believe you are so stupid to have pulled this shit and then expect everyone to sit and wait on you and your calls from jail. The kids know where you are.. they don't want to talk to you. I have to force them on the phone and yet you call over and over after they say, " i dont want to talk".
Oh .. when will you take the hint and just leave us alone. I really honestly have no feelings of pity or anything for you. I am so disappointed in myself that i picked such a jack ass to marry and then stay with for nine years and have three kids with.
I totally think you are about the biggest piece of shit on the planet.
I tried loving you but you were too scared to let me in. Even more scared than i was trying to love you. So eventually i left cos i was exhausted and had nothing more left to give. You drained me. We had some good times together, but i think you thought i would hang around forever, but that ain't so. Almost a year together but not once did you acknowledge my birthday, xmas, valentines........ you didn't even tell me that you had a surprise birthday party until after 1 month. Granted i couldn't have been there that day seeing as i was out of town but that's not the point. You said you didn't want a relationship, yet you expected me to spend all my free time with you. My free time was spent with you and my friends. Never once did we hang out with your friends. Were you embarrassed of me? I think not. Im easy on the eye and i'm well versed on social etiquette.
Now that i'm gone you think you can charm you're way into my life again. I think not. I have nothing left to give you anymore because i have to save some for myself. At 35 i don't have time to hang around for someone who won't even refer to me as his girlfriend and won't have me call him my boyfriend. Anyway honey i think i will always love you but for my sanity i can't be with you anymore. You had your chance and you blew it.
Maybe in the next lifetime.
Honey, there are about a million things you do that annoy me on a daily basis. However, I am so thankful you are not a "gamer". I could not stand being married to someone who spends every minute of free time playing computer or video games like a twelve year old. I love you.
Oh, husband of mine. Your behavior has pushed me away for far too long. You are failing to see that by continually putting me at the end of your list, you are forcing me to distance myself from you emotionally. I am carrying all the weight of the house, the kids, and our life. Meanwhile, you are insensitve, you are crude, and it makes me crazy how you think that sex is your right. I have to tell you, it makes me so sad that this is the "best it's gonna get" for the rest of my life - I am so bored in bed that I'm making grocery lists in my head while you go to town on me. I don't think you realize that if you would just invest more time in being a good husband outside of the bedroom, and actually do something besides go right for my boobs or my crotch, that I might be a lot more receptive to your touch.
Instead, I feel sorry for myself that I may never have that crazy swinging from the chandeliers sex. It makes me sad, and it makes me want to find someone who can make me feel that way. Makes me want to find someone who can please me and curl my toes. You know how long it's been since I've felt that way with you? As it is, in the past six months, I have had more orgasms alone than I have had with you in a year. Funny how that works.
You really need to get it together. You need to DO something. I keep drifting and one day you may wake up to find that it's too far gone and past repair.
I think it's too late.
One day, I woke up and realized the truth. And I can't believe it took me so long to see it. I don't have a husband who ever, under any circumstance, puts me first. Not when I totaled the car an hour away from home. Not when I had a miscarriage. Not when our second child was born, after we lost the first one. It's always about your job. "I'll come pick you up at the hospital when I get off work." "Can we induce labor on my day off?" Everything revolves around your job. And I thought, maybe if he had a normal 8 to 5 job, we would spend time together. And then you got the 8 to 5, and it was still never ever ever about me. And I got tired of waiting to matter. I tried to tell you, but you just said I was wrong. When I complained that you didn't even call me the day you got the new job. When I said I felt invisible.
So I acted totally out of character and did all kinds of things I never do, and didn't do all kinds of things that I usually do...stopped wearing my wedding ring, wouldn't have sex, stayed up half the night on the computer. I waited and waited for you to notice...to say anything, anything at all... to pull me back...and I finally gave up. I moved on in my head. After six months of this, I told you, I don't want to live like this any more. And NOW you want to work on it. You want to go for counseling.You say you want to be a good husband and make me happy.
But I think it's too late. I just don't feel it any more. And I don't know how to tell you. You can SAY whatever you want, but you don't have the slightest idea of how to make me feel like I matter to you. I'm so shocked that you want to try now, when all this time, you were ignoring the obvious fact that something was wrong. You said, "I noticed you were acting odd but I was trying to be patient. I guess I should have said something. I'm sorry." SO NOW WHAT?? Is this going to be MY FAULT now??
I am not sure exactly how this works, but I know that there is so much I have always wanted to tell my husband but well, I just can't!
First of all, yes, I know you work hard but you know what? So do I! You complain because you work 2 jobs...... I hardly think that the so called business you run is a job! You start work at 10am and you stop whenever you want, not to mention that if no one brings you anything to fix you don't have anything to do! And then you work 1 day a week at your other job! STOP COMPLAINING! I work a full time 40 hour a week job, go to school part time and take care of our 2 children with NO help from you! If I want to run to walmart it's aren't you taking the kids? When is the last time you took them with you to the store? Oh, wait.... NEVER! I am so tired of you complaining! On top of everything I do I also find time to make you dinner and clean the dishes every night and clean the rest of the house on the weekends! You sleep till 12 or 1 in the afternoon on the weekends and I have been up with our 11 month old at 6am every morning since he was born! Stop complaining! I just wish you could spend a day in my shoes and see exactly what I "don't do for you"! Oh and by the way, you have a small penis and you SUCK in bed!