The "What I Need Before I Leave My Husband" List.
1. $800.00 for a deposit on a new apartment. My parents will loan this to me I know they will.
2. A six month bus pass that I will pay for out of the joint bank account. You can keep the damn car that you love more than me.
3. My skis
4. My fishing gear, what little I have
5. My camping gear. I'm taking the tent. You won't need a two person tent after I leave and you have a different one.
6. My bike, to bike to work with in the summer.
7. Small amount gift cards to the grocery store that I've been stock piling for awhile. Just enough to get me by for a bit.
8. Hopefully the dog. She really is my dog now since you don't spend any time with her anymore. I fear I wont' find an apt that will take her though.
9. My grandmother's necklace so you don't pawn it.
10. The TV because fuck you if I do end up leaving you.
11. My clothes and the small gift cards to a few stores that I've been stock piling because if I leave you I'll be living in poverty and wouldn't be able to keep my job in shabby clothes.
12. My laptop.
13. A paid in full semester at the university courtesy of you before you realize it. I'll get that promotion.
That's about it. I don't need much. I didn't have much before I met you and I don't feel inadequate without things like you do.
My husband hurt his back and now I am terrified we are on the
slippery slope of back pain, drugs, irritability, further weight
gain, and more back pain.
I find myself being more and more amazed by you. The confession on this site from the woman complaining about her husband gaming with losers made me livid. I met you gaming. And I'm not some crazy cat-girl you see at comic conventions in too tight costumes. I'm a successful professional and a mother. I just happen to like acting out as a mage or vampire or huntress from time to time.
You worry about being a good role model for my daughter, you worry about being a good father one day, you worry that the cup of tea you made me isn't good enough. You made me tea... that in itself leaves me speechless and it shouldn't. I know I am demanding, I know I'm a drama queen on speed half the time and you take it in stride. You worry that you don't do enough when you do more than most men do for their wives or lovers ever. Of course you have your moments, but who doesn't? You've taught me how to dream again when I thought I'd forgotten how.
The best thing you could do for our marriage would be to throw your mama in front of a train
Thanks for being a stupid shit and getting me pregnant at 15. And even after you had a pregnant fiance (since you obviously didn't have a choice whether to marry me or not)- How could you mess around on the Internet w/ other women--- for 5 years? Even now, I still can't trust you. How could you tell me that you don't even feel guilty about anything you've done? The last time I found your email to another woman I knew that if we had a gun it'd either be you waking up to a gun in your face or me. Don't test me again, you've pushed me down too many times.
Thanks, TWC!!!! you've probably been a life-saver here
It's hard to feel sympathetic to you when you spent your Sunday drinking and smoking with friends - gone from house and family. So when you come in at 7:30 at night, drunk, tired and in a shitty mood - don't expect me to
1. Have sex with you
2. Feel compassion for your hangover in the morning
Life goes on - kids have to be gotten up, fed and gotten to school. Get over yourself.
Yesterday I sat down and bitched about you to your best friend. He was talking about how you lived so well in the Now, never worrying about things, never stressed about life, happy-go-lucky every day. And I said that the reason you get to live in the Now is because I have to live in the Now What? How I am the reason you get to be so carefree because I do the cooking, the shopping, the cleaning, walking the dog, shuttling the kids to their lessons and activities, the laundry, picking up after you, shoveling the snow, damn near everything on top of working, while you, Mr. Zen, get to ski or enjoy time with your friends or watch TV. The whole time I thought, “I shouldn’t be telling him this.” But I couldn’t stop myself. The funny thing is he got it, because he, along with everyone else, understands how you take me for granted when you don’t seem to have a clue. What’s even crazier is you think you spend all this time doing things for others, you make “great sacrifices” for people in your family, people at your job, people who need your time, and never once do you spend time considering what you can do for me. I ask you to make supper one night a week, and you usually ask me what you should make or you decide we need to go out or worse, you make nachos. Honey, if I need to tell you what to make, then I’ll just make the damn dinner myself. Here’s what I want: I want you to understand that romance is not a rub on the back while I’m loading the dishwasher, and it’s not an “I love you” on the phone while I’m folding clothes. Romance is not that easy. Here’s the secret: Romance is having your only default question to every choice or decision you make as this: “Will this make my wife happy?” Not your mom, your dad, your friends or even, my love, you. I want you to think about me before everyone and anyone else. Begin NOW.
I “met” someone new. You know him and even introduced me to him. You are aware I speak with him often. But there is so much you aren’t aware of. You trust me so completely and I love your for it. But it racks me with guilt. I talk with him and he makes me think and feel things I haven’t in so long. He understands my way of thinking and can often know what I’m thinking without my saying it. He compliments me in ways I didn’t know I was missing. He makes me question so much. I think about him often in my day to day life.
I married you young. I met you as a child. You were so safe. So sweet. So simple. You didn’t date before me. I am it in your life. I love having that knowledge. But it leaves me wanting as well. You didn’t have to work for me. I chose you. Now that leaves me wishing for the romance and the sweeping me off my feet. I wish you were open with your feelings. I wish you spoke what your soul was saying. I know you love me with all you are. You give and do everything you know for me. But I wish for more. I wish for what I know a more experienced man would give. I know if I left it would crush you. But I still find myself wondering if I made the right choice.
Our bedroom life has never been great. Inexperience on both of our ends has led too much bumbling along. Add the children into the mix and well were just not doing so hot. I hate that I don’t get there with you without outside assistance. I hate questioning whether or not a different guy could please me better. I hate that your kiss has little effect on me. I want the butterflies back. I want to feel something that makes my pulse quicken. I want something exciting and new. I hate knowing each and every one of your kisses, and exactly what you mean with them. Is there really a distinct number of ways to kiss? I’m getting bored.
You are a fantastic husband and father. Every single one of my friends looks at me and my marriage and says how lucky I am. And I am. I know that. I don’t want to lose that. But I don’t want to be bored for the rest of my life. He has no ulterior motive in befriending me. I’m sure of this. He doesn’t have any idea the effect he’s had on me. So here I sit with 2 clueless men and far too much time on my hands. I fear doing something stupid. I fear making a mistake that would change my life. I fear these thoughts that dance in my mind. I love you so very much, I hope its enough for a lifetime.
Your questioning wife
I wonder if I would have married my husband if we hadn't had sex
before we were married.
this is my confession about my boyfriend:
when you lost your job, i paid your bills, your car payment, your child support, and gave you spending money. i gave you all my savings to cover your expenses so you could go visit your mother for three weeks. all i asked was that you brought me back a souvenir because i had never been to that city - and you forgot.
when you gave me an std, i cried, and then i forgave you.
your license was suspended and you were worried about getting pulled over in your car, because you would go to jail. i gave you my car to drive. and i didn't ask you for anything when i had to spend $600 on you car to repair a problem (that you knew about before we switched cars but didn't tell me.)
i cooked for you so you wouldn't have to spend money to buy lunches at work - even though i hate cooking, and don't even do it for myself.
i brought you and your daughter to all of my family dinners so my conservative parents could get used to the idea of us being together, even though you have a child. now they love you and her.
when you took on a part time job to make more money, i supported you. even though i only saw you once a week for 3 hours and you would spend 4 nights a week with your friends.
you told me i was too emotional for you, so i tried to keep all my feelings to myself, and only be happy when i was around you. during this time, my aunt, my grandfather, and a close friend died. i almost killed myself three different times.
the night my godfather died, i called you, and i heard you having sex with someone else. you told me you lost your phone, and even though i didn't believe you, i forgave you.
the day before our 3 year anniversary, we had another big fight. and you told me that you loved me and that i was important to you, and you wanted to make things work with me. you told me you would try harder. you told me that i was the one you wanted to spend your life with. less than a week after we had this conversation, we made plans to spend the weekend together. then you decided to take a trip with your friends for the weekend - that you were supposed to spend with me.
i have had enough. i'm breaking up with you when you get back from your road trip. and this time i mean it. i deserve to have someone who loves and respects me as much as i love and respect them. i'm tied of changing myself to be what you want. i am so exhausted from putting everything i had into this relationship, while you do nothing. i am devastated, becuase you are the man i wanted to marry. now i'm afraid i'll never get married or have children. and you probably won't even care...