You think that I am blissfully unaware that you are a complete asshole. I am staying with you until I get a job and can get the heck out of here. You think of yourself as a powerful man, and yes, I suppose that you are. I am not a powerful woman, I am just me. I have three children who love you, and I know that it's going to just crush them to find out that I cannot be with you any longer. I refuse to be with someone who constantly texts women with inquiries on forced sex acts. I refuse to be with someone who posts on a site called "Diaper Space" and plenty of fish and daddies and daughters. I often wonder if I called your boss and showed him a receipt for a purchase with your name and the email you use to troll for women with in those places would get you fired. I may do it , I may not, but you are not going to have me to boss around any longer.
My husband is a horrible father to our child. When we met and married, he seemed so gung ho about having children... having a family. As soon as we got married, he started asking when I would be ready to get pregnant, hinting that the sooner the better. But the problems started as soon as our daughter was born. He didn't want to hold her, he didn't want to interact at all with her, ignored her crying, and refused to ever give me a break. He said he didn't realize they cried so much. If I left her alone with him, he seemed to have no concept of her needs. He had no qualms about feeding a 6 month old a poptart. We went to classes on baby nutrition for crying out loud! My daughter is 5 now, and is desperate for her father's attention. He will occasionally play a video game with her and that's about it. I've asked him why he hates his own daughter and he says he doesn't know.
I feel like I was "baited and switched". I never would have had children with this man if I had known what it would be like. I hate him for this.
It took my husband a month to realize that I was avoiding sex every
time he went to his friend's house to play role playing games with
losers. Now I've told him: every time he chooses to go gaming, he
is choosing to forgo sex with me. If he wants to behave like a
junior high boy, he can have "sex" like one, too.
When you came home from a ten day business trip during which time
I was stuck at home with a sick, clingy toddler and had to drive
across the state (and back) to see my hospitalized elderly father
(with contagious child and dogs in tow) in the car that the
dealership didn't fix, and the night before you went on this ten day
overseas business trip you went gaming even though I have told you
this really offends me and I will not have sex with you any week you
go gaming, and I have not slept because I spent all afternoon at the
car dealership since they didn't fix the car right the first time and
I have ten minutes until I have to get up and go to work, I do NOT
want to have sex. I need to sleep. When I fall back asleep, this
does not mean you should grope me more. It means I need to sleep.
I love you; I missed you. I will be glad to see you when I am awake.
your loving wife
The reason I turned into a jealous freak about your sudden burst of social energy and your new interest in poetry and you exchanging e-mails with friends and old flames from before we met is that when I did the same things a few years ago - and you totally didn't seem to notice -- I wound up having an affair I didn't tell you about. I'm not going to tell you about it, either, so I just hope that I can do a better job of hiding my jealousy in the future. Dag, I wish I hadn't slept with that guy!
I love you more than anything in the world. And, sometimes, I hate you more than anything in the world.
I’m all about empowerment in pretty much every sphere, so I’m not sure where this kink comes from, with its dubious symbolism. I guess in bed we can be our own opposites. I’m glad you’re starting to trust me, starting to believe me when I tell you just how much this turns me on, even if you don’t share it yourself. Last weekend when you handcuffed me to the bed it was just about the best orgasm I’ve ever had, with you or anyone else. I love that marriage hasn’t made us vanilla. Next time we go to a Hallowe’en party, or something like that, I’m going to wear my handcuffs as part of my costume. Most people won’t get it. Someone probably will, and we’ll share a secret look, and I’ll spend all night feeling sexy as hell. Then we’ll go home and you’ll cuff me to the bed again and fuck the living bejeezus out of me. Oh, yeah.
I love you. I can’t tell you yet because things are just starting to calm down but I’ve loved you for quite some time. From the moment I met you, we’ve been comfortable and now we are finally together. It’s been a bumpy road getting here and I understand why you needed some time. Everyone sees how happy you make me. Everyone is happy for us. I miss you when you’re not around. I wake up thinking of you. I always have fun with you. You make me feel safe. You make me feel heard. I think you’re wonderful and I love you.
Sometimes my husband makes me crazy, but his parents are
priceless. They make me crazy, too, sometimes...
Sometimes I fantasize about being a "kept woman". I think about what if you had a high paying job and we could live in a big house. I wouldn't have to work, I could go to the spa or volunteer at the kids' school. I would hire a maid so I never had to do laundry or dishes ever again. We would have a big beautiful pasture for our horses and I would give riding lessons in the afternoons.
Then I come back to reality and try to remember why I married you instead of a millionaire.