Monday, January 07, 2008

True Wife Confessions 229 seeds under my bird feeder

Confession #2281

Your loud audible sighing is driving me crazy. I have never seen or heard an adult sigh as much as you do. But the worst is that you do it - and if I ask what is up, you say "nothing" and then sigh AGAIN. It is as if you are an 86 year old woman.

Confession #2282

I bought you a Moto Q smartphone for Christmas. I just found porn sites on it in your internet history. Jerk.

Confession #2283

Sometimes when you get mad at me I wish I still cut myself. It's hard
not to, especially when you do things like telling me "shut the garage
door" and then when i go to shut the door, saying "Not THAT door! The
other door!" I can't read your mind and know you mean the side door on
the garage. You say "garage door" and I go to shut the one on the front,
the big one. And then you get upset with me and I want to cut myself.

Why am I the one to doubt myself? I'm pretty sure you've never wanted to
cut yourself.

Confession #2284

I love you with all my heart, but i really feel that you are holding me back in all i want to do. I want to have a clean house, but you wont pick up after yourself. i am tired of doing it for you. I want to be a lpn, but you gripe at me when i have to study instead of spending time with you. don't you get it jackass? I am doing this to better ours and our kids lives. I feel like I am just a piece of ass to you. we only have sex when its convenient to you, never when I want it. I want it all the time because thats the only way you ever show you care about me. You never do anything for me anymore, you don't open doors and you don't get me off. After we have sex and you roll over and pass out, i get out my toys and pleasure myself. I want to get intimate with another female but you say no, your afraid you would loose me to a woman. I have respected your wishes so far, except for one time, but you know what? Maybe you are right. Maybe a woman could show me emotion alot better than you can, and I bet give me better pleasure. You have no idea how tempted I am to find me a woman and see. But I do love you with all my heart. You just don't do anything anymore. Its you that has changed, i still go out and have fun, you used to go with me, but not anymore, and its not because I don't want you too. i do. And you say its because we have kids. Well guess what ass hole! I take the kids with and do stuff with them, not those losers we used to hang out with. Like today, I took the kids to the park, you wont even do that with us, you say that why should we go to the park, we have a yard. Its something to do, a change of scenery, and away from your depressing ass. I want this marriage to work, and I am willing to try whatever it takes, but that don't matter if you aren't willing, so get your head out of your ass and figure out what you are going to do about it before I am gone!!!

Confession #2285

I confess that I don't know how to help my daughter. She's 18 and has been going out with a piece of shit boy one year older than her for 2 1/2 years and he has consistently broken her heart over and over and over again. I never liked him from the start. It took months before I'd even start to look him in the eye and then after a few months more and a few heart-to-hearts with him I began to except him (but always suspicious of him). Well, she goes away to see my family in another state for 4 days, and he cheats on her. She's hysterical and devastated. And after hours of her crying and me trying to say all the right things she starts talking about how she's going to take him back if he does X & Y. I told her she's crazy to even think of taking him back once again and that I will never except this boy again, and I called his father who was so apologetic for his sons awful behavior and told him to tell his son not to ever call my daughter again. I don't know what to do. I just hold her, and say "I know, I know" over and over. Please, anyone? OPh, and this drama comes on the heels of her bio dads recent rejection, and her bio dads family's rejection as well. My poor kid. Shit.

Confession #2286

Sometimes I'd rather have chocolate than sex. Well, not really sometimes...more like most of the time.

Confession #2287

Have you noticed that every time you and your husband come to visit that he, at some point, turns on our television and peruses the pay per view porn stations? It is possibly the strangest thing I have ever seen - and it isn't that I am personally offended by porn - just that he is doing this in some one else's home.

Confession #2288

You stupid stupid woman, don't you realize that if you don't stop dwelling on the fact that your husband had an affair, you're gonna lose him forever.
You chose to stay with him, even though you know in your heart that he loves me and that he'll always come back to me. He stayed away from me for almost 2 years, but now he's back cause you can't stop harping on him. He's with me several times a week telling me how you're driving him insane with the accusations. At this point, he just figures if he's getting in trouble for it, he might as well be doing it.
You've had ample time to move on from this, you could have gone to therapy, and moved on with your life. You could have been happy in the fact that you won, he chose you as you call it, but instead you've stalked me in some way, shape, or form for 2 years and paid absolutely no attention to your husband. If you took all of the energy and put it into loving your husband, he wouldn't keep coming back for more.
If he and I ever do end up together, I will be happy to tell you to your face, "Thank you for giving me the one thing I really wanted."
You need professional help in a serious way. Go get it or get out!

Confession #2289

I know I told you that I would love you regardless of what kind of job you did - but it isn't true. You are wasting your intelligence in these mechanic jobs. You are depressed and withdrawn. What worked for you and me when we were 25 doesn't work so well at almost 40 with 3 kids.

Confession #2290

You are a punk ass bitch and I hope you get everything you deserve in life. I hope all of your holier than thou statements come back to swallow you up someday.


Anonymous said...

Man 2288, you better hope Karma doesn't come and bite you in the ass.

Anonymous said...

2288: May you get him at long last. And then, may you get exactly what you've wanted: a cheating, lying, sneaking asshole of a man. Congradulations. A marriage made in Hell. And the wife you're calling stupid? May she find a wonderful man that loves her completely and may they toast the two of you asswipes on their tenth anniversary, you bitch.

Anonymous said...

9:39 & 10:13...I believe she said that she stopped seeing him, the he chose her (the wife). If the wife opts to forgive, but not it really 2288's fault? Not so much. Things are not always so black and white.

Anonymous said...

Dear pair of harpies brawling over a scumbag,

Classy. If you want to wallow in Springer escapades, whatever, just everybody involved please get sterilized first.

- The rest of the world

Anonymous said...

2281: I will trade you sighing for farting any day!

Anonymous said...

On the contrary 11:21, she says that he is back with her, though still married to the wife. Forgiving is the easy part. Very mean spirited too. KARMA!

Anonymous said...


While I truly believe you cannot break up a marriage that isn't already fractured, you seem to be taking pride and pleasure in the fact that you have and continue to be contributing to the ongoing fracture of this marriage. Do you really want a future with a man who will so easily thumb his nose at his marital vows? Don't you get that if he cheats on her he'll most likely do the same to you? Or do you only have pride in your despicable behavior and not in your own self? Shame on him and shame on you. Believe me when I say this: what goes around comes around ... I was "the other woman" and I know what I'm talking about. I will die with the shame of knowing I hurt another woman as I did. Please think about the choices you're making.

Anonymous said...

2283- I can relate. Being a former cutter myself, the urge never completely goes away, but it comes back so much stronger when my boyfriend tells me that he again is right and I again did something wrong. Sometimes I wonder why I walk on eggshells around him, is it because I think he's right in a sense? He expects me to read his mind most of the time too.

Oh and he's soo full of himself, he knows I used to cut but he thinks that is the symbol of a "crazy person" I guess that is the answer I needed about where my relationship is headed. I hope you can find some love for yourself in all of this. Don't give him that power over you.

Anonymous said...

11:21 Thank you actually reading the confession. It seems 2288 did say that she stopped seeing him for 2 years, which I feel is long enough for a wife to either forgive her cheating husband or leave her cheating husband.
I for one couldn't live with a man that I knew cheated on me, so I think that says a lot about the wife. The wife is gonna end up in jail for stalking, so I'd go get therapy for my addiction before the exgirlfriend has her ass arrested.
I'm just saying either leave him or stay and shut the fuck up. It's the wifes choice, or she will ultimately lose her husband.

Anonymous said...

I don't think there is any problem sleeping with a married man. the problem arises when you decide to "fall in love" with him. That's when you became stupid. See the married ones for what they are, a cock that you happen to want right now, take it and then leave him alone.

Anonymous said...

2290 must be my husband's ex-wife.

Anonymous said...

1:49 am,

thank you.


Anonymous said...

2282, if you have a problem with your man watching porn, immediately break up with him. don't ask him to stop because he never will. avoid the endless late night arguments. save yourself from the inevitable "why am i not enough for him" speeches. bypass the "if he knows how serious this is to me why won't he stop looking at it" saga of disappointment.

you deserve better. go find yourself a man who doesn't like watching other hot, naked women having sex and who is only turned on by the woman he is currently in a relationship with.

he exists somewhere. he has to.

Marcie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

2282: People look at porn. It's not a big deal. Did you think he'd restrain himself on that particular phone just because you bought it for him?

Boys can't even control the simplest of things in their lives, let alone the natural urge to look at naked girls.

Anonymous said...

2288: Have some class & standards!

Britney Spears

Anonymous said...

Oh my.......blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Did d say something?

Anonymous said...

***damn...when will she begin ignoring me as the blog owner DAWN herself has requested.***

fragrance lover said...

first let me not dwell on the people throwing stones...
LA LA LA LA ....

OK, hmm, ladies, be BRAVE and say what you have to say without ANON on, huh? THE Judgy ones..

UGH, this is why I have to take breaks from the comment section. GLAHH

OH, almost deprogammed...

dear NUMBER 2286

As a true Chocophile :) I mean I only really love the great stuff. There is nothing wrong with a little bit of really great chocolate EVERY day. And it takes so little energy and effort :)

Enjoy the good chocolate! It is good for you!

Anonymous said...

It must suck to have a relationship that you want so bad but can only have when he has a whim to see you, and THEN you have to listen to him complain about his wife...what a boring relationship you must gripe

Anonymous said...

Yah d, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Even your sarcastic, "shallow" advice is bullshit. Blah, blah, blah!

Anonymous said...

"You need professional help in a serious way. Go get it or get out!"

2288: pot, meet kettle. May you and he end up together. It sounds like both of you deserve to have a wretched jerk for a partner.

Anonymous said...

2:13, 9:48: Please stop. It's been exposed for what It is. We all know it now. Now just ignore It until It goes away. Please. It's trying to show that It can get a response dispite Dawn's request that we ignore It. Thank you in advance.

Anonymous said...

ditto what 10:25 said

Anonymous said...

yeah, ditto what 10:25 said. please ignore it...i mean me.

by the way 10:25, i NEVER posted to get attention from other commenters, so i'm not sure how you think them not responding to me (which is what i want) will make me go away. but whatever.....

Anonymous said...

2288: Bottom line is if my husband cheated on me, I'd be gone but I have a lot more respect for myself than to let a man I'm married to ruin my trust in him.
However, if I did decide to stay, I'd either ask him to go to couple therapy with me or I'd try to move on with my life. Stalking my husbands exgirlfriend would not do anything to help my marriage. Throwing accusations at him for over 2 years so no way to live or to be happy. I think the wife really might need some help getting over this matter. She's stuck in a moment in time and can't move past it. I feel bad for her.

Anonymous said...

ditto 10:25 - seriously ladies, IGNORE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

yes...ditto ditto 10:25 and 5:22...ignore it. that is unless you want to tell other people to ignore me. then you can try to hurt my feelings by calling me it.


Anonymous said...

I found porn sites on his iPhone too over Christmas.... haha I could care less what he's looking at. I just think it's funny that it needs to be portable, then I started thinking of him looking at it while flying, driving, in meetings.... really gave me a good chuckle.

Anonymous said...

See! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Man, he must really be a loser if this is the highlight of his life. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Seriously d, you are very sad.

Anonymous said...

8:37, Why do you think it's funny that your husband needs porn so much that he needs it to be portable? I'm just curious.

Anonymous said...

It's not that he 'needs it so much' or is some sort of addict. It more of a convenience thing being on the phone I guess. I don't think the content is funny. What I though was funny were the places that he may be viewing it. I mean you wouldn't take a magazine with you into a board meeting but if it's on your phone it's easy to access. Hope that satisfied your curiosity.

Anonymous said...

9:33 is d. How sad. Either they didn't pay attention to the new "ingnore It rule" or it's d. Either way sad. I really mean it. This is so fucking ridiculous and immature I don't know how Dawn is standing it.

To the coward named d.
You do, indeed, engage people in the comment section. You only need to go back one more confessional to see you engaging the very owner of this site. If you care to go back further, good, you should.
Read the many comments that have said they're going to leave this site because of you. Read the many more that were so happy you'd be banished or blocked. I don't know what Dawn's going to do, but I can tell you, I'm losing interest at a very swift pace if you continue this. A commentor worded it perfectly: You've highjacked this site. I'll wait a few seconds until you've finished your orgasm to continue. Patheic fuck.

But why? Really, all these reasons listed and so many that go unwritten and you still won't leave. This is a forum for women, for wives, for us-- there's got to be thousands of sites you can visit and find so much more commarederie and yet you come here. You're making us uncomforable, don't you see that? Your input is not helpful, you are not, as you see it, adding another spin on things, or a mans opinion or anything. You aren't a husband to anyone, and to boot you're hurtful and insulting, and you've gotten yourself into a meaningless war of sorts with the site owner and her most dedicated visitors.

Cyber or real world: Do you know when to go? Can you show any kind of manners and know when you are not wanted? More importantly can you see where your presence is actually harmful?

I cannot for the life of me understand why, after you've read the above, you'd ever want to come back here. We don't want you here, please understand that.

I hope I have made this as plain as day. And I hope I conveyed every girls voice here, Dawn I hope I didn't over-step.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, 10! Yeah, it did, but now I have another question-- is your husband looking at porn during a board meeting? And if so, does that not bother you?

Anonymous said...

2282*** I am in the same boat, except not on the phone, I can honestly agree with whoever said they don't stop. My man won't stop and I have cried and we fight and I leave, he just doesn't care. It doesn't seem like a big deal to men, I don't know

Anonymous said...

d @ 11:17 am QUOTE"you deserve better. go find yourself a man who doesn't like watching other hot, naked women having sex and who is only turned on by the woman he is currently in a relationship with.

he exists somewhere. he has to."

Where? Because my boyfriend of FOUR years is telling me it is 100% normal, so do all guys do it? I want a guy who doesn't but according to my boyfriend they don't exist.

Anonymous said...


:) I doubt he's looking at it in a board meeting. I was just thinking of extreme circumstances. But then again since I'm not with him 24/7 I have know idea where or when he's checking it out.

It would bother me IF he was choosing to look at porn rather than me. IF he was choosing to stay up and sit in front of the computer rather than coming to bed with me. I'm a pretty laid back person and hate conflict... so when I pick a fight it's MAJOR. As long as he's coming home to me and not someone else at night and I'm the only one... then the porn doesn't really bother me. To each his own.

que mas?

Anonymous said...

From a guy
Briefly: wife having affair; I'm struggling; TWC and a book helped me understand a lot, so thanks Dawn. Doing much better than 3, 6 mos ago, marriage slowly improving, far from perfect.

I relate your daughter to my wife. We want what is best for them. But, it is your daughter's decision, not yours. Criticizing the boyfriend in effect criticizes her choices, putting her on the defensive. Try a different tactic: Reassure her that she is sensible, that she knows right and wrong, that she is a capable adult that will make the right choices. It takes time, but in theory, when she values herself she will see the bf true value.

Re #2288
2288 makes a valid point, nobody is faultless. Criticisms and negativity chased my wife away. I am dealing with that and i think reversing it.
Do I hate the other man? yes. I have had a very rough year. But every effort I have made to separate them was circumvented; promises to stay away were broken. I finally realized it is her decision to end the affair, not mine. I've also realized if she doesn't make the decision I will always feel like the 2nd fiddle to the other guy. The best I can do is try to be a better person, and I am succeeding at that. And now my wife is also becoming more pleasant. It takes time though.

Anonymous said...

10:57, you can go back as far as you want. my first comment in a post has never been directed at a commenter. nut jobs like you read my comments and decide to write long, idiotic diatribes attacking me. THAT is when the comments get hijacked...and you're doing it again in this thread. i make a comment on a post about porn and once again all these wackos come out of the woodwork addressing me, even after dawn asked you all to ignore me.

bottom line. you all and your acidic responses to me in EVERY comments section ruins the vibe. dawn has to see that and i'm sure in a bit she is going to tell all ya'll d-obsessed chicas about yourselves.

that said, i don't give a flying f?@* about how badly you and others want me to leave. i'm not leaving so shove it.

11:06, i was being sarcastic. my actual view is that asking a guy to stop watching porn is like asking a woman to stop shoe shopping....ain't gonna happen.

Anonymous said...

This is my first and will be my only comment, as I know this is a forum for you ladies.

Unfortunately, on the internet, weirdo tough guy trolls like "d" are inevitable. He delights in causing chaos to make a name for himself and gets a high out of reading the responses he causes from y'all. Chaos junkie is another term.

He will never go away until he gets bored. Your only choice is to ignore him (short of Dawn disabling anonymous comments which is not a bad idea).

D, man to man, why don't you go away? Find somewhere else - these ladies need this space to themselves. Can you give them that?

Best wishes all - this site has helped me improve my understanding of my wife.

Anonymous said...

a man, man to man, if dawn and the women here created this forum and had said "this is a forum just for women, by women and we don't want any men to comment or confess here ever" truthfully i would respect that.

but they welcome comments from men, especially feminized men like you. they just don't like what this man has to say or how he says it. they don't like what i say and suddenly this is a place only for women to speak. whatever.

when that cat oneman comes on here and agrees with damn near every single thing every woman says, i'm literally disgusted. but i never attacked him personally. i state my opinions, he states his and we have a dialogue. that's what this place is about, man or woman.

Anonymous said...

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! I bet d has his pooter set so he gets an email everytime someone comments on this site. Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Give it up d. Go back from whence you came.

Anonymous said...

Board room porn surfing. I can't....understand........

Hehe. I edit porn for a living. I'm a woman. I have seen it ALL. I always fond it amusing that porn has become portable. You can get it patched right into your IPOD now and a lot more.

That said...boys are boys. They can't help it. Hell, even some women can't help it, but when you have to have it with you constantly, I agree...that's a problem. Maybe you should confront him and talk to him about it. Not that it hurts you -it's not about you- but that you think he has an actual problem and you want to help him. Looking at porn is normal. Being connected constantly is another.

Everything in moderation.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

11:06, i was being sarcastic. my actual view is that asking a guy to stop watching porn is like asking a woman to stop shoe shopping....ain't gonna happen.

but they welcome comments from men, especially feminized men like you.

i NEVER posted to get attention from other commenters

Three separate instances in one single comment section showing exactly why he's harmful here, and what a liar he is. I'm done. This use to be a great site. Sorry, Dawn, you've lost me as a TWC supporter. Too much shit to wade through. And one last Fuck you to you, d. You should feel very proud that you've ruined a great site FOR WOMEN. Christ, you're probably jealous we use tampons, too.

Anonymous said...

if this is THE anonymous that has been stalking me from post to post and she is truly leaving, the comments section will once again become a place for thoughtful debate, support and criticism. watch. you will all see she was the problem and not me.

good riddance....oh, and fuck you too.

Anonymous said...


if you truly were here only to comment on the confessions then there would not be multiple posts from you defending yourself against other commenter's. You would state your opinions and then let others comment as they see fit, and NOT continue posting and posting and posting. Notice that i am not lambasting you, I am just stating the obvious.

Brandi said...

This comment is meant to support Dawn ...

I think it's sad that so many people here have chosen to stop coming to the site just because of this commenter guy that's causing so much trouble. And I wanted you to know, Dawn, that there are lots of out here who love the site, idiot commenters or not. And I will be here, no matter what. Keep up the site, honey, it's something that gives us all as women a reminder that whatever the issue, we're not alone.

Bella Dreamer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bella Dreamer said...

After reading all the confessions on this post, it's surprising to see that the comments hold more drama and sillyness than the actual confessions do.

I do enjoy reading this blog however; it is entertaining. I just likely won't pay much attention to what goes on in the comments.

Broken Beth said...

I guess I dont understand why people leave because of a commenter? I mean you can still read and support the confessions, just dont read his comments. I dont know why people get all huffy and leave websites or messages boards. THIS IS NOT LIFE AND DEATH, it is a great blog.

Anonymous said...

broken beth-

a-fucking-men. Thank you, for saying what needed to be said.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your posts. I've learned a lot from them, and even more from the reaction. When I see your sarcasm, defensiveness, and stubborness, it shows what an ass I can be sometimes, and how much time and energy is wasted being an ass is. So keep up the good work. Thanks

Other Commenters,
If you are posting in response to d, please identify that at the beginning of the post. That way I can quickly skip all the posts not related to d, and only read those posts that fill me with d's wisdom.

a man that is not d

Anonymous said...

Broken Beth, Amen! I find this website an amazing tool, cuz lots of women, including me, delude themselves in relationships, and when they are over, or on hold (separated in my case), we tend to NOT examine the relationship, cuz we think we understand it, but we don't always. So, having to dissect it is awesome! And I'm separated and single, just so ya know.

omnia_vincit_amor said...

Dear Ladies:

The internet is free reign. I believe we're all responsible for our own happiness... so one lone commenter isn't going to ruin my day. You might have a better time of it if you just ignore the advice you don't like. They don't know you, don't worry about what they say.

Dear Dawn:

I also believe in freedom of speech, so I really don't agree with the deleting of comments, no matter how much someone's pissed you off.

If you can block the IP, that'd be your call, but it makes me sad to see another human being's voice silenced.


Anonymous said...

Whatever! Sheesh, what is this? Men's comment day?

omnia_vincit_amor said...

10:04 -- I'm female.

Men are people too.

What I'm trying to say is this: **if** this is supposed to be an open forum, then no voices should be silenced.

However, judging by what's written in the FAQ, this is likely NOT an open forum. Some people's opinions are not welcome here.

That, in my mind, signals that NO ONE should be allowed to comment. If it's not an open forum, if it really is just a place for people to post their confessions and not have an open and honest discussion with ANYONE on the internet, then I believe comments should be disabled.

Maybe my rationality is uncharacteristic and therefore makes me attackable (and supposedly identified as a male, even though my user icon is decidedly feminine... this is the 21st century, names are not quite so gender-specific anymore) but I'm very much female.

Anonymous said...

Mel, you say that no one's voices should be silenced. The situation is not quite so black and white as that -- if the commenter is chasing timid people off, then are their voices not being silenced too? And aren't they the very people who would benefit from their voices' being heard?

Also, your citing "free speech" is misdirected. "Free speech" is guaranteed under the Constitution, yes, but in the sense that "Congress shall make no law ... abridging the freedom of speech." That's not applicable in a private setting. Dawn pays for this blog, so she can set the rules. It's like your being able to throw someone out of your house if they're rude to you; you don't have to take crap you might have to deal with on the public streets.

That said, I do agree with you completely: the "men's comment day" post is also not applicable. If this forum were inimical to men I wouldn't be here. I hope it doesn't become that way.

Anonymous said...

This blog is GREAT and just because morons like d want to TRY to corrupt this site, it isn't going to happen. Regular visitors shouldn't be ignoring or never visiting this site again because of the commentors.

If that's the case, do you come here for the comments or for the posts? Last time I checked, most come here to read the posts, and offer support to those who need advice!

Sheesh people!