You hate your job, I get it. We both know you "can" do so much better, but you don't. You keep telling me how happy you'd be if you could start your own business. What have you done towards that goal? Saved some money for living expenses while you get started? Looked into bookkeeping and tax laws for small business owners? Maybe looked into small business loans? Done some market research and scoped out good locations? Started a business plan? Picked a name for the business so we could get some cards printed and a website up and running?
Or were you waiting for ME to do it for you?
This is your dream. If you can't be bothered why should I? If I wanted to blow a ton of money on a pipe dream I'd buy lottery tickets.
I just wanted to confess that I have nothing to confess at this moment.
You have completely shown me that no matter how upset or angry or excited or scared I am about anything – you will always be there to listen, not judge, and accept me.
I’m so happy that you are the one, and I’m so honored that you allow me to be the one for you.
So I talked, cried, and bared my soul to you about your online porn habit. You apologized and hugged me...blah blah blah.
But either you don’t get it or just don’t effing care. You still do it. You know it bothers me and you know how much it bothers me and you still do it as if what I said to you didn't mean a damn thing at all. THAT is what hurts the most. I feel like my feelings don't mean a damn thing to you. It feels like you made your choice to continue looking at other women online rather than to honor my wishes and have any kind of concern for my feelings. This is something that bothers me so much...and I feel like you don’t even care. I can't understand why you seem to NEED to look at other women online...and I can't understand why you would choose that over me and my feelings. Feeling like you have such disregard for my feelings makes me feel differently about you and makes me feel like I can't trust you. And it affects our sexuality as a couple. The more you look at porn, the less I want to sleep with you. You never seem to want to have sex with me anyway…at least you never initiate. I guess looking at other woman online is good enough for you. I am left unsatisfied. Your habits are damaging our relationship and I don't know if you even care. It's also damaging my health, because I can tell you right now that my blood pressure at the moment is through the effing roof!
If I were doing something that bothered you, I would certainly stop doing it...because I care about your feelings. I feel like I have made a huge mistake in marrying you because I cannot feel happy as long as you continue doing this. I can't have a relationship with someone who makes me feel this way...I wasted 7 years of my life feeling this way with my ex and I don’t want to waste any more of my life feeling this way.
And I don’t care how much you say that looking at online pictures has nothing to do with me because it has EVERYTHING to do with me. It has everything to do with making me feel like crap. It says to me that what I am is not what you want and that you don’t think I am good enough...you need something else, and you seek it out online daily. I would’ve hoped that my feelings would mean more to you than this obsession you have with these teen-looking skinny bitches that you look at online. Your online obsessive habit and your lack of concern for my feelings is making whatever self esteem that I have left in me totally melt away.
I wish I could give you my heart. I wish I could love you with all my soul. Hell, I wish I could muster up an ounce of love for you. But I can't. I've told you my deepest secrets over the years. You've used them against me. I've shared with you my fears and vulnerablilities. You've thrown them in my face during arguments. When I've shared my dreams with you, you've told me all of the reasons why those dreams would never work out.
You complained a few weeks ago that you don't feel I'm your friend.
You aren't my friend. In fact, I wonder if you ever were. I no longer think you even know HOW to be a friend. The biggest thing you seem to care about is winning the argument. And honestly? We've been together more than 11 years now. Do you seriously think that in all of these years, ALL of our problems were because of ME? Do you seriously think that you have NEVER been at fault?
That's what I'm dealing with. I tried to get you to see my point of view for years -- why I felt hurt or why I might need some emotional support. But what you throw in my face is "You know what YOUR problem is? You're too sensitive. Do you know what YOUR problem is? You're too needy."
I try to explain to you that a simple hug would do wonders in making me feel supported. But then you counter with, "Oh yeah? Where's MY support?"
At least I TRY to make you feel supported and loved. At least I ask what I can do to make you feel supported and love. At least I listen to those suggestions, no matter how offensive they are (You say things like, "Stop bitching about how I didn't do what I promised. Get over it.".)
I don't know what to do anymore. I no longer talk to you. We've stopped taking vacations sans child because you like to drink until you throw up and make a mess of the hotel room. (And then when I get mad, you tell me how I'm a horrible controlling nag.) Its gotten to the point where, when you are home, I stay away from you. I remain polite because if I'm pretty sure that if I told you my real feelings -- about how I no longer like you and what you've become, you'd say "Well. There's the door." And that would crush me.
I'm scared out of my wits to leave. I have chronic health problems and don't think I'd be able to hold down a job. And I'm scared of the trash you'd expose our child to. So I stay. I do everything in my power so that our interactions are polite -- especially around our son.
I never thought it was possible to be this lonely and empty when there's someone you used to love -- someone you used to think walked on water -- standing a few feet from you. But I know I can't tell you. I'm pretty sure you don't care enough about our relationship to really listen and work things through.
You're awesome. You agreed to let me keep the cat even though he has severe anxiety issues . . . and severe issues with where he's supposed to piss. He's been on the kitty prozac for three weeks now, and I THOUGHT he had been accident-free. I found a stinky spot on the couch. I waited until you were asleep to put the throw pillows in the washer, and I hope you don't notice the smell of the cleaning solution on the couch. I'm sorry to be sneaky. I love you way more, of course, but I do love the kitty.
I told you 2 months ago that a client was GIVING me tickets to the
Kennedy Center for tonight. You simply said, "you know I hate those
things, I'm not going"
I was alone for 15 years - I got sick and tired and embarrassed going to
all these work functions by myself. One reason I started dating again
was because I wanted someone to go WITH ME to these events. I have put
up with all of your crap, your parents' crap, your brother's crap, your
kids' crap because I thought this was a partnership. I go places and do
things that I hate, but I do it to support you - you needed me to be
You do things you like to do, WE do things you like to do....things I
like to do, I either don't do them or I go alone. There is something
SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE. Especially since we have only been
together for 2 years....what happens in 30 years....will I just be doing
For the millionth time, I look at our marriage and wonder if I should
just get out now and save myself years of disappointment and pain.
Lately, there has been very little in this relationship that is for me
or about me.
We're So Tired of you telling us to be quiet so you can watch the friggin' news while we eat dinner.
Why is it so hard to grasp the concept that WE LOVE YOU and want to interact with you after you've been at work all day?
Last night when you said to me, "I really wish you would just SHUT UP," I didn't know what to say. I just felt a little bit of my love and respect for you slip away.
When our teenage son is in the middle of a story about himself, his day at school or his friends and you unmute the TV and drown him out, I just want to cry when I see that crushed look on his face. Then I want to punch you in the face.
And when you tell our preschool age daughter that she 'talks too much' ... how do I respond to that? Kicking you in the balls would be an appropriate response, I think.
You bring out the mean in me and I hate it.
WHY WHY WHY do you do this? The news isn't that fucking important, I promise.
I love you but I'm not ever going to change how I feel about this problem we have, so I think we shouldn't be so serious anymore. We really don't have a future anymore. I am at the end of my rope and I don't know what else to do. I don't want you to look at Porn anymore.
I know I can never marry you if you don't stop. I love you and I am afraid that this is something that is going to go on for a long time I'm never going to be ok with it and you are never going to stop. I wish you'd take me seriously. I feel weird and you lie about it, like you tell me you look because you are bored like once a while but that's a lie. We have been together a long time, and there was a point where I knew I wanted to spend my life with you, you were the one for me, my half, but you had all the doubts and now I am thinking you cant be the one because I cant spend my life with you because when we are married or even living together I am not turning on the computer and having a porno pop up on me like the other night.
Tell me you will stop for me, tell me something
You are everything I could ask for in a partner. You have been so thoughtful and caring, taking care of me while I recovered. I just wanted to say thanks for being so great. I wish I was more grateful to you all of the time. I am an ass sometimes, I know. I’m going to try better ok? I’m going to make this work.
Last night while out with some friends, I found out one friend is pregnant. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. And then I started to really hate you. Do you know why?
Well for starters... People don't seem to know WHY we've had problems getting pregnant. It would be because of your very, very heavy tobacco use and horrid coffee/soda consumption. You also refuse to eat any sort of remotely healthy foods to help your body produce healthy sperm. You KNOW that if you'd just give up the tobacco and eat right, we could have a decent shot.
Oh wait, we STILL wouldn't have a decent shot. That would be because you prefer to jack off. ASSHOLE!
Oh and now I've told everyone we're done trying. That would be because you're a shitty father and an emotionally stingy man. You're incredibly selfish too. You are the biggest disappointment not only as a husband but as a father. You made so many promises when I was pregnant about how you'd spend time with our child and you talked about all of the things we'd do as a family. But you hardly ever spend time with us. We only seem to exist when it is convenient for you.
So while I would LOVE to have more children, I just don't want them with YOU! I can't put myself in that vulnerable place with you again.I can't let myself be that disappointed yet again.