Wednesday, January 02, 2008

True Wife Confessions 228 pieces of confetti

Confession #2271

My Sweet Boy,

Thank you for loving me so completely. Thank you for loving my daughter and doing it through the hardest part of a child's life, and the fact that you aren't her bio dad is astounding and affirms my belief that you really do love her, as hard as it's been. What you have done by loving my daughter is going to shape the woman she will become ,and I cannot express how deeply grateful am to you-- you have un-done the horrible damage cause by her bio dad and given my daughter a role model worthy of her love. Words cannot express. Thank you for this beautiful home. Thank you for listening to me when I knew what was right for our family. And thank you for coming to me afterwards and admitting it. Thank you for the great sex, thank you for loving me when I gained 20 Lbs and thank you for loving me when I lost it. Thank you for loving my family. Thank you, my love. I must have done something right to deserve a man like you. And now, the best is yet to come. Kid in college, money to spare, traveling and enjoying each other........and fat grandbabies to bounce on our knees!! I love you, Sweet Boy. Happy 2008 to us and ours.

Confession #2272

Dear Hubby...

I told you that I wanted a divorce seven months ago, and you refuse to give it to me. You were the meanest ugliest person to me in the last 6 years that I have been married to you. I have done so much for you, and all you have done is hurt my children and me. Well, guess what. You work out of town, and are gone for 6-8 weeks at a time, and I use that time to be with other men. I have dated and even slept with other men. I had to purchase a separate cell phone and use that one to give my number to the guys to call, but hide it when you are in town for those 2 weeks. When I go shopping, I see this one particular guy, that I have been getting close to. I lead a secret life when you are gone. I go out every weekend, all weekend. And I don't feel guilty or ashamed. When I even start to question it, I think of all the times you got angry and came at me to hurt me physically, and all that goes away. I even like that fact that I get to stay home. I don't have to deal with traffic, or office politics. I get all your money....and I shop. I shop to look good for other men. When you tell me you love me, I don't even say it back to you...how does that make you feel? How many times do I have to tell you that I don't love you? Do you not get it?

Sincerely,

Your wife who doesn't love you!

P.S.
Kids also want me to get a divorce...that says alot about you!

Confession #2273

I really don't care for your ex-wife, I think she is a two-faced witch with some very cruel intentions when it comes to being your "baby momma". But I am insanely jealous of her, jealous that she gets a fat check from us every month and none of your BS, jealous that her new finance makes big money and buys her everything and showers her with attention. I don't understand why she got the "goods" and I feel like I got crap. I know its so wrong to think like this, I do love you more than anything and sometimes I wish I didn't. You are mean, you are rude and you can be selfish, no not with money, but with yourself. You don't pay attention to me or the kids and you are always griping at us. I wish it wasn't this way. I sometimes feel like an awful person, but I think if she were miserable too...I would feel better. I know I have issues.

Confession #2274

Don't ignore me. Its not nice. Why do you only get in touch when you want to get laid. Its partly my fault because i allow you, but im sick and tired of it now so you can fuck off.
When you're with me your so kind and considerate, but the minute you walk out the door its like i cease to exist. Well - until the next time you're feeling horny.
Now im taking the control back - FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Confession #2275


Confession #2276

Honey, as you very well know I love you more and more as the days go by. But, as each day passes I have a stronger urge to kill you while you sleep, I find myself torn! Fix your shit or else.

Love me XOXOXOXO

Confession #2277

Our long distance relationship is going good but I needed company. I’m lonely baby. I live in this travel trailer, in a campground, alone. Wondering how my life is going to go.



I know you don’t want to have anymore pets. I know you’re not happy about taking care of my son’s dog & the mess she’s made of your house (though your boys had more to do with that but we won’t go there right now). You know I miss my Boxers that my ex took when he left. You know I couldn’t take my son’s dog up here.



And there he was. He’s so cute. And sweet. He’s a good boy. Already house broken. Quiet. He’s a big ol’ lap dog. He’s a good puppy. My friend from work who took care of him over the holidays for me was so impressed with how sweet he is she went ahead and took him to her house with her son & her own dog. And she said he was a really good boy there. He proves that pit bulls are not the monsters they’re made out to be.



So baby, I have another dog. You’ll meet him next week. I know you’ll be mad at me. And we’ll argue. And we’ll have great make up sex. And you know you’ll fall in love with him too.



You’re my baby.


Confession #2278

Every three or four months I have a little too much to drink. And we aren't talking fifths of booze here people , like three or four glasses of wine. Could you PLEASE stop acting like I am a continual drunk on the occasions that I do this. Your disapproval and snide remarks about my "drinking" make me crazy.

Confession #2279

I still don't trust you. I hate feeling this way about you. I check the pockets of your jeans for receipts, I check your phone for recent calls and text messages. It breaks my heart to know what I might find because I want to believe you soooooo badly.

Confession #2280


You are my best friend. You are the father of my child. I will always care for you and want the best for you. But I don't love you. There is nothing inside me when you touch me. All I can think during sex is that I hope you finish quick. While I could list a million things that have contributed to me feeling this way, I wonder - do marriages just have shelf lives? Was that what I set us up for when I chose to marry a man for whom I had no passion? I wonder would it hurt you more for me to end this marriage, or for me to just keep going on - pretending like this. We don't have huge arguments, or screaming matches. Its just like it died. And I don't know what to do.

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've been married for 13 years. I married extremely young. Now, in my early thirties, I too feel this way. I love my husband. He is a great man with a great heart and is a good father. But there's no 'love story'. At all.

At least that's what I tell myself.

But then I type it out, like I just did, I think I'm full of shit. Yeah things change after so many years. And no, I do not have some terrific love story that includes passion and that long, or that spoken I will love you until the day I die sort of passion but I do have some other things. Like a man who lets me be who I really am. A man who isn't judgmental towards me (and tries not to be towards others). A man who allows me independence yet still takes care of me. A man who is good to my children.

It's all about how we view things. What does he give you that you love? Evaluate those things before you make any sort of decision, and think, hard, about what the next one will have to offer. Somtimes we have to sacrifice sparkle and glitter for safety and comfort (and no those girls who have both dont count...they're few and far bewteen).

Anonymous said...

2277

It is wrong to bring an animal into a home where one of his main caregivers is only going to resent him. How fair is it to that sweet pitbull?

Sleepless in Seattle said...

2280 Being a survivor of 25 years of marriage, I know where you're coming from. I don't think what you are experiencing is uncommon. When a couple first meet, the early years are spent in discovery, there is a cloak of newness which surrounds everything you do. As time goes on, the newness wears off, with you and your significant other knowing more about each other than you would probably want to know. A successful marriage is hard work. It is easy to become complacent. Complacency leads to deterioration which can lead to divorce or separation. There were times in my marriage, when I felt the love was gone, that I tried to find love, attention, all of those things I thought were missing from the relationship. Well guess what? I looked and I looked but I never found it. Do you know why? It was because I was looking in the wrong place. I should have looked inward instead of looking outside. Your relationship changes over time. Accept those changes, they come with maturity and personal growth. Your relationship needs to be redefined periodically as to what is expected and how "love" can be defined. Often we don't recognize the goodness the marriage has to offer. It is overlooked because we are looking for something else. When I begin to feel sorry for myself or have thoughts that the feelings are gone, all I have to do is take a few minutes to imagine what life would be alone. It's a real eye opener. Finally, don't believe what you see in movies or on TV in terms of marriage and married life. It's fake, designed to attract an audience and sell advertising dollars. Be careful at looking at other married couples and making judgements of their relationships based on their public behavior. We all wear masks when we're in public so what you see on the outside does not guarantee that is what goes on behind closed doors. I hope this makes sense.

YoGirl said...

227? Where are you? We had 226, and now 228....what did I miss?! ;-)

Omar Alexander said...

@ Sleepless in Seattle: Great advice! In my head I wanted to say something like that but I couldn't have said it any better. I think one thing that needs to be stressed is that love and marriage are nothing like they make it seem on TV and the movies. I have the joy of dealing with a brother in law who constantly measures his life according to what he sees in the movies. I hope I can make it to 25 years of marriage with your wisdom. 2 down, 23 to go!

D said...

2271: thank you for thanking him. it's great when men step up and handle their business... and the love, support and encouragement you're showing him is great.

2272: so you've allowed your asshole husband to turn you into a promiscuous, adulterous asshole? you're a grown woman (at least by age) so don't use his behavior as an excuse for yours.

telling him about your whoring would get you that divorce quick. but you keep it secret because you're enjoying the thrill of cheating and your back-alley lifestyle a little too much, aren't you? that's the proof that this was a part of your character all along and it's just coming out now. you're an even worse person than your husband.

p.s. what do you think your kids would think if they knew what mommy was up to?

2273: well...at least you know you have issues. i hope you work them out.

2274: good for you. you're correcting your destructive behavior and no longer allowing yourself to be used. good luck to you.

2276: sheesh....i hope that man fixes his shit.

2277: inconsiderate ass.

2278: unless we're looking for a one-night stand, most men do not find slovenly drunk women attractive....especially when they are our girlfriends. and if he's complaining, it's almost certain you're doing it more than every three or four months. and i'm sure those "three or four" wine glasses are filled to the brim. you're a grown woman (at least by age) so stop drinking to excess.

2279: why do you need to find anything to leave this man? once the trust is gone, the relationship is a wrap. if you were able to forgive him and act normal (not snooping around) your relationship might work. but you're obsessed with proving he's still a cheater. save yourself the trouble. it's over.

2280: when you married a man for whom you had no passion, yes, you set yourself up for this. i'll leave it at that because sleepless in seattle summed it up so well.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to those who had some really good, sensible and compassionate comments. I enjoy your wisdom. As for the name calling, most of us could do without it.

Anonymous said...

I think I'm going to have to stop reading the comments here. I used to love reading TWC comments because there was such supportiveness, but somewhere along the line it changed into a forum for unsolicited advice-- and then the men showed up. There is nothing so disheartening to me as a women's forum infiltrated by a presumptuous man, brimming with judgement and blind to his privilege, crashing around like a bull in a china shop and completely oblivious to the damage he causes to the atmosphere.

I don't know when exactly the comments section became d's personal advice column, but I'm pretty sure the vast majority of women writing confessions were not doing so in an effort to elicit his advice or approval. His continuous offering of such comes across as condescending and utterly careless. Were there some way to block his comments, I would; lacking this ability, I can only stop reading comments.

D said...

1:31....we'll miss you.

Anonymous said...

2277, the attitude "you know you'll fall in love with him too" ignores the rights of your other half and of that pitbull. That pitbull does not deserve to be in a house where one of the "alpha wolves" doesn't want him. Dogs are very, very human-focused -- pitbulls more than even most dogs -- and you are setting that dog up for unhappiness.

I understand that if you are alone a lot, you would want a dog for companionship and protection. BUT DON'T DO IT THIS WAY. If you don't get buy-in from your husband/boyfriend FIRST, then the dog will pay the price.

If you are saying "Oh, you'll fall in love with him too," you clearly haven't done your homework about introducing a dog to a house hold ... you probably haven't done your homework about what to expect when he gets a little older either. You're saying he's a good puppy? Puppies grow up. When he's an adolescent he will have the energy of a horse and the power of a bulldozer and the brain of a toddler.

I love dogs and there was more than one day when I went to work crying because my pitbull was too strong, too energetic, yanked the leash too hard, and hurt my shoulder.

At least invest in some training classes. You'll find that you need training more than your dog; I sure did. Please, please, please don't let that wonderful pitbull be dumped into your trailer without the training to make him acceptable to others.

Linsey said...

1:31, you can do what I do:

1) Open the comment window.
2) scroll down looking for the names you'd rather not hear from.
3) click each one just once.
4) Go back up to the top, and commence leisurely reading, secure in the knowledge that you have "closed" the comment made by the name you clicked. You won't see it again unless you click it again to open it. :)

Anonymous said...

I don't always agree with "d" but I'm laughing at you right now 1:31. "Were there some way to block his comments, I would; lacking this ability, I can only stop reading comments"? Why would you need them blocked? It's more simple than what Linsey wrote even. Scroll your ass past when you see a comment with a big bold-faced "d said" as its heading. I'll retract this statement when you prove to me that you are locked in a basement somewhere with your eyelids pinned open being forced to read d's comments by your captor. Good luck with that.

D said...

4:45, i was going to respond to her post, but like you, i realized it made no sense. she and anyone else can easily skip past my comments.

they don't get that not everyone has to be syrupy sweet to be supportive or compassionate. (granted, they don't have to be as blunt and tactless as me either, but that's how i am). i offer kind words when they are felt. but sometimes a kick in the ass and harsh words are plenty of support (ask any parent or ask the fed up wives on here haranguing their husbands).

in the comments there are usually a dozen "you go girls", another dozen "i agree men are asses" and another dozen "girl, you are absolutely right and that jerk you're with is absolutely wrong". there are plenty of blind support comments to go around. but without fail my one comment, mixed into that soup of "compassion", causes untold angst.

too bad.

Dawn said...

You know, I rarely admit confessions that are mine - but 2278 IS me.

And I assure you D - I am neither a slovenly one night stand or more of a drunk that I admit being.

Nope. In fact, every 3 or 4 months I have 3 or 4 glasses of wine. Terrance HATES it, and likes to act as if I am a continual drunk. He does this because I get silly and talkative and he dislikes when I tell stories about him.

Just remember when you are passing out snide judgments that you don't know the whole story.

D said...

silly....talkative? i think the word you're looking for is obnoxious.

i'm on your man's side. i'm not fond of my woman drinking to excess and babbling all night.

and the frequency doesn't matter. if your man cut his hair into a mohawk and dyed it pink for a day every three months, you'd think he was a "continual" wacko despite it only happening 4X a year. and you're probably not counting all the 2.5-glass nights where you are almost as "silly".

he doesn't want you to get s-faced in his presence. he's not making an unreasonable request.

Dawn said...

Congratulations you impertinent little fuck - you have pissed me off.

As Leader and Queen of True Wife, I know say too that you are no longer welcome here.

I may not be able to stop you from commenting, but I request that everyone ignore you.

and before you call the wrong woman a drunken obnoxious liar, you may want to reconsider.

Your yapping has pissed off the big dog, buddy.

Lori said...

Go Dawn, Go Dawn, Go Dawn! Thank you! Really, Really tired of that fuckwad.

Anonymous said...

Even if he comments Dawn, can't you erase it? Because if you can, you should.

D said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Oh Dawn! Is it Christmas again this soon?? I can't tell you how vindicated I feel. The Toad has been exposed for EVERYONE to see.
And that fucking twat actually complimented me when a few days ago he called my post "cornball". And never before has a compliment made me feel like I needed a shower.
I've never seen anyone show their ass the way he has here. Hop away now, little toad. You heard it from the owner, you are not welcome here-- we're taking our site back.

D said...

damn dawn...you sunk to deleting comments simply because you don't agree with them. 1) that's not ignoring me and 2) that violates every tenet of intellectual honesty and the free flow of information. damn........no honor.

oh well. i guess "d" will go away and i'll never comment on this site again. :(

D said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kate said...

WOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

d, she didn't delete your comment because she disagreed with it. She deleted it because this is her site and she makes the rules. We're all here only by her grace. You are not welcome. Bye!

Intellectual honesty? Free flow of opinion? You can have it anytime, dude. ON YOUR OWN SITE. AWAY FROM HERE.

Anonymous said...

Oh, what a shame. Dawn didn't give you her opinion "with honey." She reacted directly. It's caused you angst. Call the whaaaambulance.

D said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kate said...

Dance, my d, dance!

D said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kate said...

:-D Clearly you do, and you are.

Goodnight, li'l d. Try not to check this site too many more times before you go to bed.

D said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Dawn said...

Did your mother never teach you manners? You don't walk into my house and spit in my face.

No apologies. Perfectly sober and lucid - as I am 95% of my life.

My house, my rules.

Don't like it? Don't stay - and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

D said...

yes queen. what exactly are those rules again?

Anonymous said...

DAWN! He can't stay away. Just watch. This is wonderful.

Anonymous said...

11:54:Oh he'll leave, allright. He'll leave when his fucked-up demented head games get him no where. If we ALL ignore his obvious need for attention, he'll leave. Dawn, if I may, just one last time?
You fucking pathetic excuse for a man: I can just picture your 300 lb. white as hell body in its yellowed- for-lack-of-wash underwear salivating over comments directed toward your lonely, pitiful attempt to get some kind of attention, any kind of attention. What a life you must lead! You make all the men we women come to this site to complain about from time to time look like fucking Adonis. You are the worst type of man, and I use the word man very, very lightly. You're a fake. You admit to baiting women into responding to you. You're a sad, sad man with no chance of ever having a life, let alone a wife. You demand blowjobs? Well, of course you do, I mean you give her money and you expect her to do her job, right? Fucking fake freak. Nice alliteration, huh? You have come right out and said that you're playing with this site and I along with many, many others are so happy to see that Dawn is removing your comments, you piece of shit.

Unlucky for you, any fucktard rebuttal to this post will be deleted by Dawn.

Now, go wake up your mother and tell her to make you a sandwich-- you must be famished.

LADIES: IGNORE this disgusting kid if he tries to post again. Let's stand behind Dawn.

Sleepless in Seattle said...

Hooray for Dawn! It's nice that the comments can once again focus on the posts and not the back and forths that were common with ......you know who. As for the 3 or 4 drinks, I'm like you Dawn, I get a little whacky. I am not a heavy drinker so on those few occassions I have several glasses, I become a very happy person. My husband doesn't mind in fact he gets a kick out of it. There's no judgement, just people getting together to have a good time.

Anonymous said...

Read the FAQ "d", dumbass!

D said...

12:08, thank you. just read the FAQ. i didn't realize this place was specifically designed as an open forum for women to say rabid, illogical, crazy, outlandish, nonsensical things without the fear of being challenged. no wonder i'm seen as out of place here. i make sense in a place that's meant to welcome the "dark" emotions, voices and thoughts inside of women that have no place else to come out but here. this is not an advice environment. it's a "yeah i'm crazy too girl...i hear you" environment. that means you all probably don't even take what each other says too seriously.

my bad. ya'll have at it. this will reshape my comments from now on.

(you probably won't read this because it'll be deleted, but still.....)

Anonymous said...

I wonder how frequently we can make him answer.

Anonymous said...

over and over and over again, he's easy prey obviously. come on d tell me what a loser i am so i can be a part of the club too!

D said...

1:47...you're a loser. i just told ya'll i now understand the true purpose of this site.

i'm a changed man now.

D said...

oh, and the real test is how many times ya'll will respond to a man you're supposed to be ignoring.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dawn, aka queen of TWC, big dog, enabler of "La Chatte,"
Bless you. Bless you. Bless you.
And I am not so sure you can't ban a certain someone -- your service provider likely has a way to ban unwanted posters.

Anonymous said...

My husband didn't like how much I drank becuase I would get flirty and obnoxius. He asked me to cut back which started a huge fight becuase I didn't think I was bad. Then I saw pics from a party and I was hanging on some random guys arm whom I just met. I started crying becuase I knew this is what my Husband saw.

I don't drink anymore. At least nothing more than a glass of wine.

Sometimes you need to step out of the box and look in from the outside. Someimes you need an outside perspective.

That is why I love this board and ALL the comments.

Dawn said...

I appreciate your comment 5:17 - however for me, this is about control.

We don't tend to be "out" - other than with good friends, at one of our homes. I am not hanging on anyone else.

Between my spouse and I, this is a pure issue of control. He wants to be in control 100% of the time - and this at times extends to me.

I resist that, as it is my nature. That is where our conflict lies.

Certainly if I were drinking nightly - or even weekly, I would understand his disapproval.

This is not about that.

K♥J♥ said...

Dawn,

I've sent in a confession or two and received a general amount of awesome advice. As of lately I've refrained from sending in any confessions because after reading the comments (as I always do after each post) I realized that a crazy man was running rapid in your comment section. Cutting to the chase... thank you. Thank you for really hearing our cries and kicking him away. Also, if you apply a tracker you can locate his IP address and block him from even viewing the site. I would love, love, love to help you do that! After all, us girls gotta stick together! ♥

Anonymous said...

I agree, Dawn. If you can do what 6:26 advised then please consider. That ass nearly stopped a lot of women from enjoying your site. And a lot of women, including me sometimes, can't help but to reply to his comments because his hateful and spiteful words are hurting other women here. And that's why he's here: for attention. So block the bastard. This isn't a case of "it's a free country"; this is your baby, take care of it as you see fit.

Anonymous said...

Dawn,
I have never confessed...but I read this site regularly and look forward to it.

I love that it is from women and about women.

This person called "d" is an obnoxious and insufferable human being who is getting his jollies by trying to bully and intimidate us women.

So, Dawn, thank you for standing up to him. This site is awesome, and by letting "d" know he is not welcome, you may have just saved a precious sounding board for everyone else.

Anonymous said...

It is unbelievable that d feels so superior to us yet needs needs NEEDS to come here for contact with us. He can't stay away. He's probably quivering with the effort of not responding right now.

Dawn, you're a strong woman and unfortunately strong women attract losers. People without spines respond to people with spines. I'm sorry that your writing and your site are a magnet for the spineless and clueless like d and Roland and Jane D'oh. Jeez, what a trifecta of losers. They needed us, and you, to be their sounding boards so they felt real.

D said...

i'm not commenting because i'm waiting for you all to follow dawn's request and begin ignoring me. i'm not leaving the site and will continue to comment in the future (though since the faq is clear that the real purpose of the site is for mindless venting not advice i won't be as critical as often).

just remember, i always focus on the confessors. instead of just stating their disagreement and offering "better" advice, my detractors chose to abandon civility, always focused on me, hijacking every comments section with endless profanity and rudeness...even when i simply stated my own personal preferences for women who give blowjobs. how can you attack my preference?

anyway, any fair-minded person will admit that those are the folks who ruined the vibe ya'll so cherish. i hope THEY let ya'll get it back.

Anonymous said...

Do you all here something? Like an annoying bug you just want to SPLAT! Yah, Yah, blah, blah, blah, yah, I always focus on the confessor blah, blah, blah, how can you attack my preference, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, those are the people who ruined the vibe, blah, blah, blah, yah, yah, blah, blah, blah, I'm not leaving the site and will continue to comment, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Dinosaur Mom said...

Well, I just want to say that I wrote a whole post about #2280. For what it's worth.

kim said...

2280

Yes. some relationships (well all of them really) have a time line. It happens. It sucks. I have been through it, and come out better on the other side.

Best wishes to you as you work through this. In time, you will know what to do. If you have tried to fix it in every way you can, and there is no change, that MIGHT be the end of the time line, if you are MISERABLE. Only you can decide if you can live like that or not.

:) You are not alone.

(thanks Dawn, for letting us have this outlet)

Anonymous said...

3:21, thanks! That works! Except you have to click on each post, but hey that's better than seeing it!!