Monday, January 21, 2008

True Wife Confession 232 Standard

Confession #2311

I love you.. God knows i love you... And i know that you love me too.. with all your heart of course you do.. But dammit would it kill you to take the initiative once in a while.. Would it kill you to ask me out once in awhile instead of me asking you out. Would you burn in hell to surprise me with romantic dates once a blue moon. What the hell is wrong with you...??? Is that huge brains of yours all dried up when it comes to thinking about how you can make me happy... How much hints do you need.... I've even resorted to telling you that i want surprises, romantic dates.. Something you put your heart and mind to plan and execute.. But time and again... NOTHING HAPPENS... seriously.. if you want me this marriage to work.. Get your damn socks pulled up and do some work dammit....

loving you always,
Your wife

Confession #2312

I've always been one to just read what everybody
else writes. And I've felt blessed, knowing I wouldn't need to write a
confession. That is, until about a month ago. We usually go and hang out with
our really good friends every weekend and stay pretty late. And I loved finally
having a couple to hang out with. That one night, everybody was tired and
left. I thought I was fine because we were just talking. And we were, until he
decided to confess all this shit about him having feelings for me and about
how he was afraid he would do something about it. I have to admit that I was
attracted to him, because there are going to be people outside your marriage
that you have chemistry with. We didn't do anything. I told him I wouldn't
because you are my heart and there is no way in hell I would do anything to hurt
you or jeopardize what we have. But hell, that was the closest anything has
come to coming between us, and it scared me shitless. I'm sorry I put myself in
that position and I'll never do that again, regardless of how innocent something
seems. It still hurts that we pretty much lost their friendship. His wife was
the only one I have to talk to out here, and now I feel like I lost a best
friend. Two actually, because I did value both of their friendships. But, we
still have each other and the kids

I love you with all my heart.

Confession #2313

I know this is not your fault. But I still want to throttle you. We've been seperated 7 months and you still some how manage to cause me grief. Our friend gave me and our little girl his cat because he was moving somewhere he couldn't have her. My understanding was she was now my daughter's cat. But the day he dropped her off you apparently talked to him and told him I was only going to keep the cat until my friend could take her back, you don't even live with me. My friend did not confirm this with me, that's his fault I know but why you opened your mouth about something you weren't even involved with kills me. So here it is 5 months later and our little girl loves that cat to pieces, and my friend just called to say he wants the cat back and you said it was only temporary. At this moment I think you're both idiots and I'm trying to determine whether to tell him to go get a new cat or give the cat back. This is a conversation I do not want to have with a 3 year old.


Confession #2314

Dear Honey,

I worked my way through college, and met you halfway through. I let you move into my home, and then a year later let your children move into my home, although we didn't have nearly enough room. When you car died, I agreed to let you use my SUV for a few months until you could get another car. When your business's lease was up and you wanted to move your mail-order business into my garage, I let you - after all, you said you were doing it so that you could help out with bills at home, and so that you could watch the kids while I was working full time after I graduated with my degree. You agreed that with me making the lion's share of the money and paying all the bills in this house (including providing a cell phone for you, plus electricity, phone, and internet for your business), you should pick up some of the housework and help with the kids, as well as pitch in a little each month toward the bills.

Well, It's been more than 2 years now. You are still driving my SUV everywhere, leaving me without a vehicle. When I leave work, I come home to a messy house and dirty dishes strewn all over the place. The kids are still up, even though it's the middle of the night and they have to get up in 5 hours for school. The laundry that you chose as your "job" to take over is always laying in heaps everywhere and the kids and I are sick of digging through baskets only to find that whatever it was we wanted to wear is dirty. You spend most of your time on the phone with your buddies or on the internet posting in forums. I'm still paying all the bills, and now I'm also paying for groceries too, even though that was supposed to be your area. You let the kids run wild and provide minimal supervision. You say you're going to handle it when I bring up something that needs to be done, but you never do. You go for days without shaving and wear the same stupid pair of pants every day, even though I still put on makeup and do my hair every day to look good for you. The sex is good - when we have any! Once every few weeks may be okay for you but I need more. And when your daughter graduates this spring, you are in for a surprise if you think she is going to continue living here rent-free - I'm not going to continue supporting your kid for you once she is out of school.

And guess what? I'm not going to support your ass much longer either. You may not know it, but I have a future date in mind and if you don't shape up somewhat by then, you're outta here. No matter how much I love you - and I do love you - I can't do this anymore. I don't want my kids thinking this is what a relationship is supposed to be like. You have no idea how much it hurts when I stop talking in the middle of a sentence and you don't even notice, because you weren't listening anyhow. Or when you lie to me - yes, I have caught you in more than one, and after the first time I called you on it and you continued to look me right in the eye and lie, something just broke inside of me. Oh, and I know about your little internet friend too. I'm tired of having a roommate instead of a committed partner, lover, and friend. I want someone I can trust and depend on, someone who will love me as much as I love them. So, my darling, I will try to talk to you one more time this coming weekend about all your pathetic bullshit - one last chance to clean up your act. And then if things continue on as they have, I will kick your butt out and find someone who treats me as well as I treat them.

Sincerely,
Finally Wising Up

Confession #2315

I want you to be happy again. I no longer want to be sad. I wish the answer was simple but it's not because I still love you with all my heart.

Confession #2316

In my mind, I knew that we were most likely going to be each other's one night stand. But that one night with you was pure heaven. I figured I'd be quite happy being friends-with-benefits and looked forward to hanging out with you again.

It's been weeks since that night and I can't stop thinking about you. I've sent a couple messages which I know you've read but you haven't answered. I've checked your Myspace profile daily to see if you've logged on or added anything new. I was really surprised to see an update today: "Status: Engaged".

Nooooo!

Confession #2317

Why are you so wonderful?

I honestly do not know how I got so incredibly lucky. You are the most
thoughtful, kind, considerate person I have ever been with. You
remember every little detail of every conversation we have, which
means that, for once in my life, someone actually cares enough to
listen. Everything about you is just perfect. Everything about US is
perfect.

Thank you so much for coming into my life. I love you.

Confession #2318

There have been three great loves in my life. You are not one of them, though you're a better husband to me than any of them would have been. I am seeing one of them this week - for a couple of hours in a public place with no intention of nor prospect for hanky-panky - and I am not going to tell you.

Confession #2319

There will be no sex as long as there is no honesty. I have been waiting for over two decades for you to get this message. I am sick of waiting. Are you dead? Wake up asshole? You are wrecking both our lives!


Confession #2320

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm bitchy. How dare I be affected by hormones and, you know, life?

I'm sorry that I don't add any income so that you can not work all the fucking time.

I'm sorry that I "allow" myself to be sick. How dare I?

I'm sorry that I don't do a better job keeping our family clean, happy, fed, educated and healthy.

I'm sorry that I can't tell these things to your face.

I'm sorry for the faces that I make. (I can't help it. I can't)

I'm sorry for the envy I feel toward you and your freedom.

I'm sorry for not spending enough time trying.

I'm sorry that I'm not enough.

I'm sorry that I'm too much.

I'm sorry that I'm not just right.

I'm sorry that I can't get it together.

I'm sorry for complaining.

I'm sorry that I'm not a better wife and mother.

I'm sorry for not fixing myself.

I'm sorry I'm such a sarcastic shit.

I'm sorry for not being better in bed.

I'm sorry for the way I look and that I'm not blonde... like the woman your nasty ass mother wanted you to marry.

I'm sorry I'm not more supportive.

I'm sorry for my lack of skills in so many areas.

I'm sorry for not being everything you need.

I'm sorry for whining.

I'm sorry for having the balls to want anything.

I'm sorry for not standing up for myself.

I'm sorry for not doing more.

I'm sorry that we don't understand each other better.

I'm sorry that I think you lie to me... that I doubt your honesty at all.

I'm sorry for being tired.

I'm sorry I asked you to move back to this shithole of a state so I could be closer to my "supportive" family.

I'm sorry for asking for anything.

I'm sorry for not asking.

I'm sorry for not being thankful enough.

I'm sorry that I don't work harder.

I'm sorry that I cry.

I'm sorry that I get mad.

I'm sorry for it all.



I'm sorry that I feel this shitty and can't really explain why... or really, that I can't explain to YOU why because I fear the lecture I'll get about how stupid it all is and how I should just get over it because 'I'm the one that allows it all to happen'. How "It's all about MY choices". You know, you may be right, but you have no idea how high you've set the bar for me. I'm afraid I'll never be able to clear it and that you'll get fed up and leave and I'll be all alone with the girls with no income. That's not a good place to be, you know? To feel completely fucked no matter what I do. Not good.

Yeah, here I am, 6 years into this Stay Home Mom gig with no friends. Not good.

Life right now? Not good.

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

2314, he's living off you AND cheating on you?

Why the "not much longer" threat, then? It sounds like you're planning on letting him stay with you at least until this summer's high-school graduation. W.T.F.? He's not even treating you like a whore. He's treating you like a pizza delivery boy.

D said...

2311, if your man doesn't ask you for much of anything, then you have almost no chance of getting what you appear to need. you seem to be much more needy than he is. while you want excitement, spontaneity and romance, he is content just being there. you might say you give him a lot but it's because you expect a lot in return. he appears to give little and probably expects just as little. with all the stuff you do, he'll probably just say "well, i don't ask you to do it."

on the off chance that he actually asks you for a lot and still gives very little, then you have yourself what we call a jerk and he still won't be what you need.

you can just accept that the romantic stuff is always going to be your department or, like with a child, find something this man absolutely wants and use it to make him want to give you what you need. if you can't, all of your complaints will fall on deaf ears.

sarah said...

2316

Men don't see one night stands as anything other than that. You pictured yourself as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, with him as your Richard Gere.

Life doesn't work that way, he saw you as a whore (doesn't mean you are one) and men generally don't have lasting relationships with women they see as whores.

I have had many a one night stand, and I don't see myself as a whore, the men I slept with most likely saw me as a whore, that doesn't bother me. They felt they were using me to get what they wanted, what they failed to recognize is that I was using them for the EXACT same reasons. You can't go into a one night stand with any expectations other than a night of, hopefully, decent sex. Expect anything else and this is what happens.

Anonymous said...

2320: I'm sorry. i'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Sarah - I too am a fan of the one night ( if even that) stands I have had in my life. I - like you - felt comfortable in my body - knew that I was getting what I wanted and expected from the experience.

The thing that I found funny occurred during one of the last I had before entering into my current relationship.

The guy was kind of lingering afterward and I said to him "It's ok - you can go - I'm all set"

You should have seen the look he gave me!

Apparently, I didn't act clingy enough?

I still laugh about it to this day.

sarah said...

7:10

I have a similar experience, but my guy freaked out and practically flew out of my apartment naked. He apparently thought I was going to be too clingy and expect more than what had already transpired. I yelled out the window as he was trotting to his car,

"I'll call you,"

I have never seen a look of such panic in all of my life. I just fell back on my couch in fits of giggles. And of course never called him, why would I, i got what I expected, and was also, "all set."

Anonymous said...

7:10, Sarah,

I'm so impressed that you guys have found someone good enough in bed that the first time you sleep with them you can be "all set." Maybe I'm just picking badly.

Anonymous said...

2320: If I've ever heard a depressed person, you're her. Go to a doctor and tell her, yes her, what you've told us. If she puts you on meds, take them. If you have a bad reaction, call her. Be honest and work with her. You don't have to be this sad. When you start to feel better, then maybe you can work things out with your husband. You're so sad now that you can't see that maybe his frustration and anger is because of his lack of ability to help you. Men like to fix things, and when they can't they react differently than your girlfriends.
When you've got your depression a little bit under control, then talk to him. You'll either see he's a good guy that has had his hands tied, or that he's not the right man for you.

I wish you all the luck and love in the world.

sarah said...

7:23

It has nothing to do with how great he is in bed, at least not for me. I know what I want and I am NOT shy about taking it from a willing partner. I recognize the men that i had one night stands with for what they were to me that evening, a penis with a person attached to it.

If you are to shy to know what you want sexually, you will not have a successful one night stand.

If you are unable to have sex without emotion, you will not have a successful one night stand.

If you can't act like a slut without thinking you are one, you will not have a successful one night stand.

I have never met a man who is resistant to me taking control in bed during a one night stand. Men like women who are assertive, when men have one night stands they are looking for something they don't get in their normal sexual routine. If you don't provide that, they will be happy to fuck you without focusing on you at all. Make it interesting for YOURSELF and get yours, while at the same time giving him the time of his life. THAT is how to have a successful one night stand.

Getting attached to a one night stand emotionally is one of the stupidest things you can do. Do you really think the guy who picked you up at the bar is suddenly going to have a "lightbulb moment" mid coitus and realize that this women is the one he has been waiting for all his life? This is why men are sometimes so skittish about one night stands, because women like 2316 get all clingy and weird about it all. People seem to think it is such an impossibility for women like myself and 7:10 to have a one night stand and be "all set." Why is it so hard to believe that women can use men for the exact same purposes that they are using us? Is it because we fear being called a slut or a whore? Maybe that is why women like myself and 7:10 don't have a problem finding that one night stand, we have no fear of being called a whore and a slut because we recognize that the man we are sleeping with has just as much whore in him as we do in us, and that recognizing our whorey part does not in anyway diminish us. At least not in our eyes, which are truly the only eyes that matter.

I have had great sex with one night stands, terrific, fun, sweaty sex with one night stands. The most awesome sex I have ever had is with my husband, whom I have been with for over two years now. The difference is that I love him so I get to have my sex and my emotion to. There is no reason to deprive yourself of sexual contact when you are single simply because of some antiquated idea that it is "just not lady like." However if you can't have a one night stand without getting all clingy and stalker like, then it would be great if you just wouldn't have them at all, your making it alot harder for those of us who can.

Anonymous said...

7:10 here.

I echo much of what sarah has said.

By far the Best sex I have had is with my partner - whom I love deeply. When Love and Sex can collide, it truly is a beautiful thing.

But. Before I met him, I knew that I liked, wanted and craved sexual contact. I was never shy about saying that I am a sexual person - and if the opportunity arose and we were two willing, consensual adults who played safe - then why not?

Many of my one time partners wanted to come back for more - Not because I think I am the best fuck in the world, but because I was not interested in having an emotional relationship with them. That seemed to fascinate them - a woman who thought more of herself than she did of them.

When I fell in love with a man it was because he DID it for me - on every level. He also loves that I am confident and assertive in bed - his last committed relationship was with a woman who just lay there in bed. He, for one, loves my whorey part.

So - I say enjoy the one nighters. The pretty boys about whom you can smile when you are older. Thats what they are there for - to enjoy and move on.

Anonymous said...

I think that when you reach a point where someone sees you like a whore and is using you as a whore, then yes, you probably are a whore. I've always wondered how women (or men, for that matter) lived with themselves being whores. I never imagined it was because they convinced themselves that "Oh, I walk like a duck and quack like a duck and people think I'm a duck, but I'm really not. Really." Wow.

Not that there's anything wrong with being a whore. I'm just baffled by the dishonesty of it... not everyone, I know... but if you have to justify yourself to yourself by not thinking yuorself as a whore, then you probably shouldn't be screwing around like one.

Anonymous said...

11:12

so you think that any woman who is confident enough to go out and get what she wants and needs sexually is a whore? Do you feel the same way about men who sleep around or is that somehow acceptable to you?

Whore, slut and bitch are words that used to have very different meanings until men decided to grab them and use them to degrade women. For years women have allowed that to happen. Surprisingly women are the ones who most often use those words to try and degrade others that don't fit into the mold of what they find acceptable. Whore is only degrading if you allow it to be, I sleep around like a whore, I have no problem identifying the whore in me, I have a little bit of slut and whole lot of bitch as well. All are facets of me, and no man or woman is going to cause me to feel badly about recognizing and embracing, unapologetically, the many different aspects of my personality. How sad to shut away different facets of yourself simply because society expects woman to act like ladies. Who exactly came up with the definition of what a lady is? I do know that the current definition of lady like is one that i would NEVER aspire to be. I am not a doormat and will not allow other people to dictate my behavior, even if that behavior makes you uncomfortable. My job in life is not to make everyone else happy, but to do what is right for me, apparently one night stands make me happy, they make you uncomfortable, but as you can see I have not called you a prude simply because you choose to act differently then me.

sarah said...

If it makes any of you feel better to call me a whore due to your own sexual inadequacies and inability to be free of man made labels,then feel free. It's no skin off of my nose, i don't mind. Whore in my world is not an insult, it's a compliment.

omnia_vincit_amor said...

8:40 - That was really sweet, excellent advice.

omnia_vincit_amor said...

11:12- Get off your high horse. Everyone can do what they like, free of judgement.

ESPECIALLY RIGHT HERE.

omnia_vincit_amor said...

2311:

Some men are simply not romantic. If you really need romantic things in your life, it's possible you may need to find another partner.

It's not fair to expect someone to change and be "more romantic" when that isn't really how they are. Love is not enough sometimes, and you may be better off finding someone who can be spontaneous and giving the way you want them to be.

All you have to do is be ready to move on and find what you really need.

But make sure that you aren't throwing something wonderful away.

Here's the truth about life: It's not all sunshine and roses. And sometimes you have to make that sunshine and buy those roses for yourself. If he's a wonderful man, doesn't cheat, loves you, then maybe he's worth sticking by.

On the other hand... there are men who can't communicate about their emotions, and there are men who CAN. If you require a man who can speak about his emotions and let you know how he feels about you, then by ALL MEANS, get out of your current relationship and go find someone you're more compatible with.

Don't ever settle. But make sure you're not being unreasonable with your demands. It's a double-edged sword, but if your husband loves you, he'll be willing to do a few things.

One other piece of advice: The best way to be happy with your life is to stop having unreasonable expectations. Accept the good things for what they are, like when he grabs you fast food for no reason, or when he makes you soup when you're sick, etc. Flowers and surprises are nice, but as long as you're alive and happy and loved, what really can you complain about?

Anonymous said...

#2312
You are my hero. Seriously.

D said...

i like one night stands....and the whores that have them.

though people try to redefine it, the word whore has a common definition. as do slut, tramp, jump-off, etc. a murderer can't say "no, i'm actually just a heartbeat stopper" any more than a whore can say "i'm just a person claiming my sexuality." man or woman, whatever your actions, just be comfortable with the label that applies. if you're not, re-examine your behavior.

the real problem is people think you are either one or the other ALL THE TIME. when i'm single i live every day like a complete no morals slut. when i'm in a relationship, all of that sexual energy is still there but it is directed into a single woman.

sarah said...

actually i can say that i am just a person claiming my sexuality. Then again, I am also one of those that is not threatened by the term "whore."

I agree whole heartedly with your last statement.

Anonymous said...

2320

I was sitting down to write my own confession this morning when I decided to read through the latest batch first. Your confession is exactly what mine was going to be.

i am sorry for so much, and i really do feel that my depression and lack of self esteem is what causes so much strife and stress in my relationship, especially since my husband is literally one of the greatest men alive, he loves me and will do anything for me, yet I continually let my issues come between us.

So dear dear husband, I also am sorry.

Juliegrrl20 said...

11:12- Don't you think you are being pretty judgemental there... As long as they are practicing safe sex, more power to them. Besides, it isn't the 50's anymore. People have sex with other people. This isn't I love Lucy where they sleep in seperate beds. I think it is great that some women have the self confidence to take what they want from a man and then be done with him. That is why I don't do one night stands, I'm not confident enough in myself to be with some I don't know. So right on to all the women who can do it! Don't let anyone take your confidence from you with 4th grade name calling.

~M~ said...

To: omnia_vincit_amor - I agree with most of what you said, however, it is possible that while 2320 may be depressed, it could also be from lack of attention and compassion from her husband.

2320: I've been there. And its a horrible feeling. To never feel like anything you do/say/are is enough or will ever be enough, its enough to destroy a person. While I do think you need to see a Dr, try - and i know its hard - but TRY to talk to him. Tell him ahead of time you need him to listen to you - really listen. And not to tell you to "get over it" or "deal with it" because thats not helping. It may take you a few talks to get through to him, but if he is at all understanding, he will finally "hear" you. And if that doesn't work, you can always write it out. Sometimes, when my husband doesn't listen, I resort to emails. And finally, he gets it. Good luck to you.


2312: Good for you!!!!

Anonymous said...

Language is a living thing. Words take on different meaning as people use them differently or unusual to the excepted norm. In the 1920's if you said you were gay, people excepted that you were happy. Today? Totally different meaning. Whore may not be what you want to call yourself and be completely understood. A whore brings in the exchange of money for sex which these women clearly are not doing. Now, this term may apply in another ten years, as it's core meaning will have changed.

I don't know what you'd call it now and be totally acurate and fair. Slut doesn't seem right and neither does promiscuous. I don't know, I just hope some clever girl comes up with the perfect term. I just know these women, and when I was single I was in this group, too, aren't whores or sluts. They just don't feel any guilt about satisfying themselves on their own terms, nor should they.

Dawn said...

What a fascinating discussion!

So what do you think it is about women who are comfortable with their own sexuality - and define it in a perhaps "masculine" sense of sex as pleasurable - but not always emotionally attached which can be such a reactive topic?

Is it purely the clash of our puritan roots? Is it the cross section of religion and morality?

From what I can read from the initial 2 commenters - they are not stealing spouses - having affairs or in any other way violating what might be considered the "social contract". They were single women who enjoyed sexual activity with a variety of partners - none of whom they intended to date or otherwise have a long term relationship with...I can only assume ( from their words) that they were practicing safe sex with consensual partners.

Is it simply because they are breaking out of prescribed ideas of woman as chaste? Woman as holder back of sex? Woman as somehow morally pure and above such human needs as sex?

And why - in this age of Sex in the City - are we still so ready to brand sexually uninhibited women as whores?

D said...

i think the question is why in this day and age do we still consider a woman being promiscuous intrinsically negative?

if a woman tells you that she has had 150 partners in her life, what would you think? (for a 40 year old who lost her virginity at 15 that would be an average of six men a year so it's realistic). would your view change if it was your adult daughter, sister, niece, best friend?

Anonymous said...

Hey Dawn, I'm 8:49. My post in it's own round-about way of asking, or rather stating is the same question you raised. I don't like the word whore to describe the women we're talking about hear because I don't think it applies at all and I guess because of what that word means to me.

I think you've hit on something with the morality/religion question. I think they are one and the same, or at least they started out that way. I think the judgemental woman or man (and I'm not pointing here, so nobody freak out on my ass)that would call these women whores, while not having a word that equally describes a man behaving the same way, got these views from a religious background. It's seeped so deeply in our culture to have a knee jerk response to a woman showing freedom. And sexually freedom seems to be the final frontier.

But remember: even Carrie had a problem with Samantha's sexuality at one point. I think we're on the precipice, but we need a shove.

What word would you use, out of curiosity?

Anonymous said...

It is definitely a moralistic view that women who sleep with multiple partners are somehow less then the men who do the same thing. Most of the commonly held morals are culled from very very old religious views. Religious views that could very possibly be called extremist in this day and age. Take for example the average Fundie Christian talking about rape. To this person, a woman who gets raped is not the victim but the perpetrator. They see men as having "uncontrollable urges" that they are 100% unable to control if they happen to see a woman with cleavage walking down the street, or at a bar, or in the library. This, in my eyes, is just as degrading to the male as it is to the female. The widely held view among Fundamentalist Extremist Christians is that men are the head of the household, they know best and they are in control of the women in the family, that women are somehow very very much less then they are, yet the men are so weak they are unable to control their urges if they see a woman wearing less then what they deem appropriate. It is this damaging view that is working against women and making it much harder for us to make the strides we need.

Sexuality is so taboo, it starts from an early age when our mothers tell us that our vagina's are called hoo has, we shouldn't touch them because they are dirty, when we are told that we shouldn't go play basketball with the boys at the playground becasue we might get hurt. We should stay home and play house instead. It is perpetrated against our girls in schools where it is statistically proven that boys receive more attention then girls, get called on more often and have more one on one time with the teacher. In my own 10 yr old daughters classroom they separate the kids, boys on one side, girls on another, to do math drills. If you get the problem wrong you go to the back of the line to start over again, my question to the teacher was, "why can't they be mixed, why must they be separated, don't you think it is important to teach them to work together?" Her answer, thats how we have always done it. It doesn't make it right and it bleeds into so many different aspects of their lives from that point on. Girls in school whether they are sleeping around or not are branded sluts if another girl doesn't like them. They most often have to live with that label for years, and it is a damaging label to a young girl who is just beginning to explore and understand her sexuality.

I truly believe that men are just as wronged in this sense as women are, they are taught that they are men and men don't cry, you play with trucks and not dolls or your going to be gay, which is of course the biggest sin you could perpetrate against your father. You are taught very subliminally sometimes and very blatantly at others that women are less then you and not worth the dirt on your feet. If you don't sleep with "slutty susie" down the road you are less then a man and your friends will make fun of you. That alone is enough to make you despise women, how many other instances can we come up with that achieve the same end? Dozens I am sure. Men are taught from early on that women are weak and are meant to be taken control of in every sense. That if a woman dares assert her own views and and power that she is a "feminazi", a bitch, a slut, a loudmouth, someone worthy or scorn and not respect.

It all culminates into one big clusterfuck, men sleep around and are seen as heroes, women do it and they are seen as immoral at best, that view will never change completely, but we can help it along by reclaiming our sexuality as our own and not anyone elses to dictate. It will never get even marginally better until the women we are fighting for realize that it is ok for each to do as each sees fit. I hear more women then men condemning the girls who are practicing their sexual freedom with their eyes wide open. More women have branded me a slut then men have, what they don't get is that they are setting us back so far, or at the very least stunting us in our forward movement to be free of societies shackles, and it's a damn shame.

miracleseeker said...

7:39

Can you hear me? I am standing on my chair whooping and applauding.

You said it all, and so well too. Thank you. Those who need to will understand this and those who don't, well, probably never will.

Juliegrrl20 said...

7:39-Amazingly well said! Bravo!

Larry said...

I my self want to say BRAVO to you... I'd give anything for a woman as you to be my partner. I understand that you're missing the friendship with the woman you were friends with but. After Her husband told you he had feelings for you that was a clue to run as fast as you possibly could because He'd still try to get you to go astray as he had tried once before. As for me being a male also, I know how they think, what they're usually looking for, and the lies, they tell just to get the inocent woman to falter. I don't even know you but am so proud of you for making the right decision and by not falling for this other guys bullshit little trick.... again Bravo to you.

Tanya said...

2311:

I could have wrote that too. I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

2314 said: "You have no idea how much it hurts when I stop talking in the middle of a sentence and you don't even notice, because you weren't listening anyhow."

Nice to know I'm not the only invisible spouse out there. I have stopped mid-story, sentence, response, you name it, only to disappear into who-knows-where again.

Anonymous said...

2320: You are definitely depressed, suffering from deep depression, and are way down there. I've been there and have been climbing back up for years, and continue to climb. Just a few thoughts:

If you can say you're sorry then you have humility.

If you are affected by hormones and life, you are full of life and emotion.

If you worry about not adding income, you are responsible and caring.

If you allow your husband to make you feel like it's you're fault you're sick, you haven't stopped feeling yet and can still receive both good and bad emotions of others.

If you agree that your homemaking skills are lacking, you can be honest with yourself and, if it is YOUR desire, have identified one direction for self-improvement.

If you prefer to avoid face-to-face apologies for fear of confrontation or furthering your negative self-image, you have both self-respect and a peaceful nature.

If you make uncontrollably make faces, you are emotionally honest, refreshing, and straightforward-- and spontaneous.

If you envy your husband's 'freedom', you have something to hope for.

If you wish you spent more time trying, you are a loving person.

If you wish you were more, you have a place to put your faith.

If you wish you were less, you have a place to put your pride.

If you were just right, you wouldn't be the unique and beautiful you we need in this world.

If you don't have it all together, you must be unpredictably interesting, and fun to get to know.

If you complain, you still know how to express your feelings with hope.

If you wish you were a better wife and mother, rest assured you are already well above average in those areas.

If you haven't fixed yourself, you are no different from the rest of humanity. This is not for us to do entirely on our own anyway.

If you are a sarcastic shit, then you are also witty, and definitely have a kick-ass sense of humor.

If you feel you could be better in bed, your husband is an asshole.

If you wish you were blonde and more beautiful, you haven't taken a really good look in the mirror lately.

If you wish you were more supportive, you can see the needs of others.

If you lack skill in many areas, you have many potential hobbies.

If you were everything he needed, there would be no need for the rest of us.

If you feel bad about whining, you have good social awareness to complement your conversational abilities.

If you feel bad about indulging your wants, you are selfless and still have a conscience.

If you do not stand up for yourself, remember that the meek will inherit the earth.

If you wish to do more, you recognize your vast potential.

If you long for better understanding with your husband, you are a peacemaker with an insightful mind and a patient heart.

If you feel bad about doubting your husband's honesty, you wield your powers of female intuition with mercy.

If you wish for rest, you have good health, strength, and stamina.

If you can regret a few of your own actions, you are standing on the road to forgiveness.

If you regret asking for things, you must be very self-sufficient and independent.

"Ask, and it shall be given you..."

If you regret ingratitude, you know how to appreciate what you have.

If you regret sloth, you must be naturally diligent.

When you cry, God cries.

If you regret anger, you prefer love.

You are not responsible for all, so all is not for you to feel sorry for.

Perspective is key. It is high time you gave your husband's back to him and went shopping for your own. Better yet, buy him a new one too while you're out. God bless, dear. Life is good.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, 2:38 PM. that was beautiful.
Signed, another sarcastic broad