Monday, April 23, 2007

True Wife Confessions 177 Ruteopplysningen

Confession #1761

I love you, more than I should probably. I love the way that I can see passion, love, and desire in your eyes when you look at me. I love that even when we are angry with the situation or each other I can still see that passion, love, and desire, but...

I hate that you love us both, 'but it's a different kind of love with each of you,' as you have told me.

I hate that you look at her the same way you look at me.

I hate that she has you in life and I only have you in the shadows.

I hate that I love you, and can't stop what we are doing.

I hate that you will never see just how happy I could make you.

Mostly, I hate that I am so deeply in love with you that I can't feel any of this hate when I am with you.

Confession #1762

You're awesome and I love you but I do not want to hear about your stresses at work. Please! I find it boring as hell and I simply don't care. Just handle it and keep the money coming, Daddy Warbucks. That's all I care about as far as your work life is concerned.

Confession #1763

My husband is basically a good loving man but he cannot remember ANYTHING.
Not just little stuff like his keys, I'm talking major family occurences.
He's 30 and should not be this senile. The worst part? He argues with me
about stuff he doesn't remember happening. I end up screaming at him or
frantically trying to find a photo or home video to show him the truth. I
can forgive forgetful, I cannot forgive you when you are blatantly calling
me a liar and I know I am right!

Confession #1764

I slapped my husband (hard) while we were having sex, I was angry that I was close to having an orgasm and he moved. He got upset and childish, even though I apologized - it was the first time something like that has happened. I was still mad at him, afterwards, even though it was really my fault for slapping him. I just wanted to get off, and it's really hard for me to orgasm. So, I went out and bought a vibrator - all better!

Confession #1765

Dear Married Friend,
Please stop asking me to sleep with you. You're married and I sincerely doubt your wife would appreciate you cheating on her. You tell me you hate her, you love her, you feel you've settled... This isn't my problem; if you're so unhappy, get a divorce and live out your teenage fantasies. I certainly wouldn't go against my beliefs and do a damn thing with you. Get over it.

Confession #1766

You think that everything is fine now and that we are
doing OK but what you don't know is that I intend to
leave you as soon as I have enough money saved up.

I can't forget what you've done and I know that it
isn't over between the two of you. Each time it's
happened I've died a little more inside. The fact
that I'm keeping you apart from her is a satisfaction
beyond words. But I'm leaving and you'll have

Confession #1767

I have a good husband. The kind who goes out at 12 am after he's already in his pajamas because I feel like ice cream. The kind who gives me a massage EVERY SINGLE NIGHT....and expects nothing in return. The kind who scrimped and saved back when we were starting out and had absolutely nothing but each other to send me flowers on my first mother's day. Then please, someone, tell me why I lay awake every night wondering where I went wrong. Wondering how I got to this place in my life where all I want is OUT. Wondering why I just want to start over from the beginning and make completely different decisions. I feel sad and horribly guilty.

Confession #1768

Dear Sweet Boy,

Thank you. Not only have you awakened me, but when we are together and away from the realities of life, I am the person I used to be. She's been gone for a very long time, replaced by the hardened bitch that I have become. I guess that's just life but when I am with you I don't have to be that way. You are a kind, gentle, tender person and having you in my life has made me realize I can still be that person too. While I haven't completely transformed back to my old self, even towards you sometimes (and for that I apologize), I do realize the real me isn't gone forever, she's still there and she will rise again someday. If it weren't for you I don't know if I ever would have found her. You have given me so much more than I originally bargained for. Even though what we share is only temporary, I am eternally grateful.

From the bottom of my heart and the depth of my soul, I thank you.


Confession #1769

Almost 20 years and two kids, and I don't know what love should be. We say
"I love you," but what does it mean? I feel nothing when I say it.

I find myself wanting to spend more time away from home. Out, doing
anything, by myself. Or doing things with friends. I have one friend who
gave me this pitiful look when I said that I'd gone to see a certain movie
alone - why? Am I not supposed to be able to enjoy life unless I have a
spouse attached to my hip?

There's no attraction left for me, either. Is it only superficial? I know
I still have it in me, I just don't have it in me for you. Sometimes it
makes me sad, sometimes not.

Confession #1770

When I married you, I knew that you weren't a touchy feely, complimenting type of guy. So, I guess it's not right of me to want you to change this late in the game but I do. It's sad that it's taken me this long to realize that I deserve to be treated better than you've been treating me all these years. And, no, I'm not asking for the moon, in fact, I'm asking for very little, just to be treated like you like me, love me, find me attractive, think that anything I do is worth noting, etc. Things that I think that most married men do without even thinking about. Thoughtful things that most people who love someone else do. Things that most people would do for someone that they like, just something to be kind, things that you don't do, for me, at least. You don't seem to have problems doing nice and thoughtful things for others, but for me, you do nothing and it hurts, badly.

The sad thing is that if you were doing other things to show that you loved me, the occasional (well, way more than occasional if you want me to be blunt) mess-up/forgotten/less than memorable special days, etc. wouldn't matter. Mess ups are forgiven if there are other things in other areas to make up for it. Unfortunately, there aren't other areas that are stellar, so the times you mess up are getting harder and harder to overlook.

You don't trust me, you read my email, you check my internet usage. I've given you no reason to not trust me, so this really, really sucks and hurts. You caught an email that I sent to TWC and it hurt you badly. The confession was all true but I am sorry that I hurt you, truly. But, you shouldn't be snooping on me and if you think about it, why would I have to write a confession if there wasn't any reason to write one?

I used to do so many nice things for you, thoughtful things. You have to notice that I don't do them anymore and you probably just chalk it up to me being a bitch or something like that. Why should I go out of my way to do nice things for you if you don't reciprocate, don't act like it's a big deal and don't make any comments of appreciation for the things I've done?

Don't give me that puppy-dog hurt look when you know damn well what you've done. Don't tell our friend jokingly to "not make you look bad" when he talks about what he did for his wife on Valentine's Day. YOU make yourself look bad because you're too selfish and thoughtless to think about something other than yourself or your job, your family be damned, me especially.

Every time you have a chance to be thoughtful and don't, it hurts me. Even though I know you won't be thoughtful, it still hurts. I guess I'm always thinking that maybe, just maybe he'll get it and do what most people do in a situation like this, but no, you don't. And, no, I don't want to have to point out to you that you SHOULD be thoughtful in situations, as you should get it and I don't want a canned response from you, I want true emotion and the true desire to do something nice for me/for the kids for no reason other than you loving us, like most people would do.


Anonymous said...

1767: Wow, if he's that wonderful, you better hang on to him because the next one...might be completely opposite. Why not go to therapy to find out what's really going on? A good man like that is so rare that he'll get snapped up in a minute.

Anonymous said...

Yes, 1762, heaven forbid someone should want to share the ups and downs of daily life with the person they married. Every syllable that falls from your own rosy lips must be simply riveting -- unless maybe that's your husband over in #1765, looking for someone a tad less greedy.

1767, is there any chance you might be depressed? It certainly can't hurt to look into it.

Anonymous said...

1762 you are a self-centered, selfish, arrogant, classless, spoiled bitch. "Daddywarbucks?" All you want is the money? Which of the gals are you on "Real Housewives of Orange County?" I hope you husband reads your post, figures out it is you, reflects on how he is being used and gets out--taking away your spending his hard earned money. Have you started cheating on him yet too?

Anonymous said...

1764: Could he have an undiagnosed medical condition? Don't laugh it off. If you love him at all - have it checked out.

Unknown said...

1764 - YOU slapped HIM and YOU were mad?

If we were reading a confession about a MAN who'd slapped his wife during sex, we'd all be on a rampage. Slapping someone like that, whether it's you doing the slapping or your hubby, is still violence. Maybe you need some anger management.

#1767 - I'm not in the same boat personally, but I have a very close friend who is. Sometimes you just feel that way - it doesn't matter how great hubby is. You are not obligated to stay with him - I'm not saying you should leave, I'm just saying that you don't have to be like "Oh I better hang on to him" - if you think you'll be happier on your own, do it.
Good luck to you

Anonymous said...

yeah jenner I was thinking the same thing about 1764. her husband must have felt like a total asshole. :(

do me a favor would ya and email me about the jane doh issue. I want to know why you are sure it was a fake.

Anonymous said...

1764: Gee, I wonder how you would feel if he slapped you because you moved thus causing him to not be able to orgasm. Good thing you bought a vibrator. Instead of being violent next time, use the vibrator first. Then your orgasm is out of the way.

1767: I agree that you don't HAVE to stay with your man, but I wonder if you might benefit from some therapy or something to find out if there is another issue at hand.

Anonymous said...

1765: All I can say is...your freakin awsome :D I have gotten so used to reading about the women who do cheat that this was just...brilliant :)

Anonymous said...

1762 - my ex never asked about my day. Even though I'd start every conversation with "how was your day." And he'd drone on and on and on about his day. I listened because I cared. He never asked me about my day - because he didn't care. Maybe you don't care. Maybe you'll care more when he's gone.

Anonymous said...

1765: Thank you for making a choice that seems so very simple but apparently isn't, if confessions here are to be believed. I truly hope that you find someone who will treat you well and give you enough respect to not ask you to be his backup plan. You deserve better than this guy and I'm glad you can see it.

Anonymous said...

Confession #1764

I slapped my husband (hard) while we were having sex, I was angry that I was close to having an orgasm and he moved. He got upset and childish, even though I apologized - it was the first time something like that has happened. I was still mad at him, afterwards, even though it was really my fault for slapping him. I just wanted to get off, and it's really hard for me to orgasm. So, I went out and bought a vibrator - all better!

OMG you are a bitch!!!!!! I pray to god i never ever am with someone like you.