Wednesday, April 25, 2007

True Wife Confessions 178 reminders on post it notes

Confession #1771

I am finding myself at the end of a rapidly fraying rope. It is bad enough that you never tell me that you love me, or tell me im beautiful, or anything even close to it. i do EVERYTHING for you. I cook, I clean, I take care of the animals, I do the grocery shopping, and I work more than you. It is not your right, naturally, as a man to sit on your ass, play computer games, or watch your DVR-ed shows. While I go shopping, clean up and make you something home-made to eat for dinner every night. Last night was it. I don't know if I can take it much longer. I was on the verge of tears at that party last night. I have to BEG you to go with me, then we get there and you act like i don't even exist. Not to mention, i had to stop to get beer and what-not on the way there, and you take credit and carry it in. You dont't even speak to me in public. If I walked into the same room as you, you would leave no more than 1 minute later. I'm not stupid, I do realize it. I try to talk to you, and you give me one word answers before you get up and walk away. We were all taking pictures, laughing and having a good time. When i was taking a picture or my drunk friend and we were all laughing you looked at me with this mean face and said "what are you doing? why are you taking a picture? knock it off, what the fuck are you doing" I just stared at you and then walked away. You ruined the entire night for me. And you embarrass me in front of my friends. They notice how you treat me too. Which makes it all the more humiliating for me. I don't know why you act so ashamed of me in public. We have all mutual friends who like us both. well, sorta like you, i guess. I am pretty, nice, and get along with everyone. All i want is for you to acknowledge us, just once. I don't think that it is too much to ask considering what i do, and put up with for you. You need to change. You're only making yourself look stupid to everyone.

Confession #1772

Well were about to get married in four months, but I'm not even in the slightest way sexually attracted to you. I never wanted to marry you in the first place but my sorority sisters and my family are pushing me into what is going to be the BIGGEST mistake of my live. I hate it when your top of me I have to pretend that you are someone else. I avoid looking in the eye I watch tv everytime. I hate giving you head too you take so long to get off my body almost cramps up from being on my knees so long! I HATE have sex with you. Remember those two times I told I said that it hurt in all actually I yelled the man of my dreams name. Your the most horrible kisser ever too. I hate being in public with you your so gross. I know that you love me more anything but I dont honsetly love you or even like in the slightlest bit... I'm NOT going to marry you after writing this!!!! I feel so much better now!!! THE WEDDING IS OFF!!!


,
The wedding is off

Confession #1773

You work days and I work nights. You greet me at the
bus stop with our dog, because you do not want me
walking home alone at midnight. I tell you,"Please
don't worry and get more sleep instead." You refuse
and Damn, I feel so cherished. I love our walk home
together. I love holding hands and catching up on our
days. I love you so much.

Confession #1774

Yesterday, when you belittled me over nothing, I came
a hair's breadth away from a separation from you. I'm
tired of the bad attitude, your job taking precedence
over everything, your half-assed attempts at
housework, the procrastination, the impatience, the
know-it-all-ness, our money hemorrhaging into your
useless computer games and hobbies, and the bad sex.

Your apology today helped, but I'm not sure if it was
enough. I'm not sure I love you anymore. I'm not
sure I even care.

Confession #1775

My dear husband

I read this site regularly and have submitted a few confessions myself. My confession today is, I can’t help reading the posts from the women who are being hit on by married men and I feel a little tremble inside thinking, “Is that my husband she is talking about?” It’s silly, it really is, but you did cheat on me six years ago, and I really want to believe that I forgave you and I just can’t forget, because honestly I think deep down I know you wouldn’t make that mistake twice, I pray you wouldn’t. But sometimes I get so fearful and anxious about it, that I can’t breathe and I just can’t trust you. I love you so much, and I think we need counseling, I don’t know what the time limit is on “healing” from an act of infidelity, you seem to think I am way over due with it, and that I should not hurt from it anymore. My one thought for you is this, imagine some other man touching me and kissing me the way you do, really really imagine it. It knocks the wind out of you doesn’t it?

Confession #1776

Honey, it's really sweet that you want to help me around the house. Really sweet. But let's take a minute and go over some minor details.

When I am loading the dishwasher, it is not helpful to come in after I've loaded 99% of the dishwasher to rearrange the dishes and squeeze one more plastic lid in the rack and announce that you are helping. It makes me feel like a child who has to be supervised constantly who can never do anything the right way or good enough for your arbitary standards.

When I am doing laundry, do not come in after I have transfered 99% of the washer into the dryer then grab those last few socks and place them into the dryer. Do not then grab the dryer sheets out of my hands and announce "it's a good thing I was helping, otherwise you'd have forgotten the dryer sheets." You're an ass. I have never forgotten the dryer sheets.

When I am compiling the weekly grocery shopping list I always ask if there is anything you need/want. So in the middle of the week, don't chastise me for not getting whatever random item you need. Did you forget where the four grocery stores near are house are located? Go there your damn self!

If you want to help, how about picking up your laundry and putting it in the hamper. It's a damn treasure hunt throughout the whole house every week. Or you could clean the bathroom (and yes that would mean that you have to use cleaning product) before the bathroom becomes a bio waste land. Or you could cook dinner a night or two a week. Just some suggestions.

Confession #1777

This afternoon, I was reading and fell asleep. I didn't intend to fall asleep - I just did. Instead of waking me up, you went and got our child from school - letting me have an unexpected blissful afternoon nap. I heard you say to her "Shhh, Mommy is asleep" when you got back. Those are the moments when I love you more than ever.

Confession #1778

My my husband:

At times, you disgust me. Your complete and total lack
of hygiene makes me vomit in my mouth a little. Boy,
did you have me fooled when we were dating. Now, I'm
lucky if you shower twice a week, even after working
for 12 hours at a time in hot, sweaty conditions. It's
absolutely revolting, and you wonder why I never want
to have sex with you. I am not letting you put any
appendage that is on your smelly, sweaty, greasy body
anywhere in/on/near mine. No, I will not cuddle with
you. In fact, it pisses me off that you get into our
clean bed and rub your dirty self all over my clean
600 tread count sheets. Sheets I bought so that we
could enjoy the way they felt, together, naked in the
bed. So much for that idea! Take a freaking shower,
get rid of the funk, and then maybe, just maybe, we
can talk.

Confession #1779

I am so tired.

I hate that I don’t know how I feel sometimes. You told me last year that you wanted a divorce. I know you feel differently now, but it kills me to know that it was an option to you, even for a minute. You told me that you just didn’t want to be unhappy with me anymore, nevermind what would have happened after everything was said and done, you just didn’t want to be miserable with ME anymore. You even planned on *giving* me the tax return as a *parting* gift. I am so sorry, but that is sooo wrong.

We have gone to counseling since then, you have realized that it is your issue, not mine, and that’s great. I just wish you would have figured that out before putting us 2 grand into debt for SELFISH SHIT. You were tired of making all of this money, only to turn around and not be able to spend it any way you wanted. Wow, life sucks as a grownup with a house and kids. Get over it.

You are a great guy, when you try. I am so tired of seeing friends with husbands who pull their heads out of their asses to play with their kids, only to know that you will be playing video games the moment we are home. I am tired of you playing the perfect daddy out in public, only to come home and ignore your kids all night. It hurts. I know I am not the best mom, but I think if I had a little help, or a partner in the parenting thing, I would be so much better. I am tired of doing it all while you play and ignore us all.

I know I can ask you for anything and I get it. But, guess what, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK ALL THE DAMN TIME. Sometimes, you should be able to look around, and see. See that the kids want to spend time as a family, see that the dishes need doing, or the wife needs attention. You wonder why I don’t have as many orgasms, well, how long has it been since we spent time together relaxing? Not the movies, not going out on the town, just at home, spending time talking. I love you, and I know I didn’t make a mistake marrying you. I know you are the man that was made for me. I know you had a hard time this past year. I know so much. What do you know?


Confession #1780

(Just thought you all might enjoy the things that come into my inbox - not really a confession I suppose - but still....)

I have to say that I stumbled accross this site while researching sites to
make my wife smile. I am in a state of shock over how any women could stay
in a marriage they hate or even sleep in the same house with a man the
loath. Some of your thoughts expressed on this site are reflective of a
inner hate that is cancer. You are WOMEN ! Much stronger then men. The
pillars of marriage. Heres a mans point of view for all you hume are not
married to a real man. WE ARE ALL FAILURES ! We just process the failure
diffrently. Egos are a major part of our exsistence. Take me for instance. I
love to be soft to women. However I can not be soft to my wife. It is a
battle, a War. Why? who knows. I do recognize this fact and she really does
as well. " WHY CANT YOU SAY SOFT KIND WORDS TO ME LIKE THAT?" heres why. we
are adversary's 50% of the time. This is a scary truth. Think about it!
Really! If your honest, you will see that a majority of the discord between
a husband and wife is generated by WHAT? Oh I dont know, maybe IF YOU TALKED
AND WHERE SPITING ALL THIS GARBAGE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH ON THIS SITE INSTEAD OF
TOO YOUR HUSBANDS, MAYBE THEY WOULD OPEN THERE EYES! I WOULD THIS STUFF IS
SCARY. IF NOT? THEN YOU WHERE NOT MEANT TO BE TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE,
OR YOUR JUST TO WEAK TO SEEK A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU AND THE MAN YOU CHOOSE
TO MATE WITH.
We dont understand when you dont or cant be REAL.When you have a feeling of
slightness on your minds of a failing marriage. I hate when my wife berates
me. But I love her for it. My amazon women is a wonderful lady. A staunch
defender of me, AT LEAST she lies well about doing it. But I even love her
for the lie. BE STRONG LADIES. BE HONEST WITH YOUR HUSBANDS. Know that when
a real man hears the truth, 1 of 2 things happens. He 1, Opens his eyes and
make the drastic changes need to appease his much loved wife, and make her
happy. Or 2, he remains preplexed as to how he never saw it coming. You all
should take a page from the mans book on marriage. basic 101, if shes not
bitching all is good. I wish you could understand the premise behind this
approach. WE REALLY ARE OBLIVIOUS to any thing being wrong. TELL HIM YOU
HATE HIS TOUNG IN YOUR MOUTH! TELL HIM YOU THINK HES COLD AND DISTANT! TELL
HIM YOUR NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM ANY MORE! who knows maybe he'll brush is
teeth, lose some wait, read a book on good marriages, or JUST MAYBE, he will
hear you pain, tears, and cry's. And thus make the changes that any real man
would make for his queen. IF he dosnt take it well, then hes not a real man
anyway.
I replied to this form because I know whom I am. A REAL MAN. Honest with my
wife. demoralized by thinking that the women I love would harbor some if any
of the thoughts that are on this site. YOU women are the root of life on
this planet. Be happy, Be of a peacful mind and know that in truth and
courage you may just find your prince.
Charlie Mankin
A loving and loyal Husband

24 comments:

Lizzie Lou said...

#1771 - please, get the hell out of that abusive relationship! My xH treated me like that, and when I realized he was fine with the way things were, that my hurt feelings meant nothing to him, that's when I knew I was the one who had to make the change and get. the fuck. out. You don't deserve to have this abusive albatross hanging around your neck and dragging you down one more minute.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who finds it hard to be sympathetic to posters that can't use a grammar/spell-check? Sorority Sister is in college, and THAT'S the best she can do?!

cas said...

1771 – it’s time to "get gone."

1772 – I truly hope the wedding is off because you sound like you hate this man.

1777 – aawwww, that’s so sweet.

1778 – seriously? Twice a week? That is gross.

Anon 9:49 - too funny!!

Anonymous said...

Can someone decipher #1780 for me? I'm not even sure the man who wrote that knows what his point was.

Anonymous said...

ok good, i'm not the only one that didn't get it lol

jenner said...

#1771 - he will NEVER change. I know you said "You have to change" - HE WON'T. Not only just because you keep doing everything for him, but because we ALL KNOW they don't change.

I agree with the other posters - you need to get out. You deserve SO much better than this!

#1772 - I really hope you DID call it off. Grammar & spelling aside lol, you sound MISERABLE in that post, and you'd be setting yourself up for a life of misery.

Good luck to both of you

Anonymous said...

I think 1780 is just trying to make the point that communication is *everything* in a marriage.

If we ladies are *only* giving our confessions here and not actually communicating with our husbands about what the problems are, then the marriage will fail. Mine failed for exactly that reason.

Anonymous said...

#1780. I too have stumbled upon this website and I have to say, this is pretty disturbing that all of you will just sit there and take it and not try to do ANYTHING to make things work... even if you know in your heart they won't, to not just get out of the damn relationship. I agree that most men don't know something's wrong till you bring it to their attention. My fiance will think everything's fine if I don't tell him what's bothering me, and when I do tell him he genuinely tries to change to make me happy. THAT is a real man. No man is perfect, you are blind to think that for a second. We all have our faults and no matter how great it starts off there are going to be things that annoy the piss out of eachother. The key is being able to accept your significant other's faults or try to work it out to make a change for both people's benefit, and the benefit of the relationship. If it doesn't work it's time to find someone else. Don't suppress yourself in the misery and just take it. I am a female and I have a great man who I cherish. I hope you all can find the same.

Anonymous said...

Charlie Mankin and Anonymous 1:12 pm, what makes you think we don't tell our men? I tell mine. And tell him. And TELL HIM. And he says I'm nagging. So I try to tell him differently. Or I praise him for doing stuff I like. And he ignores me, or he thinks that because I said "Thanks for taking out the garbage," he gets a free pass and the next time I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor I can take out the garbage too.

So, Charlie, I have already done what you suggested: "TALKED
AND WHERE SPITING ALL THIS GARBAGE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH ON THIS SITE INSTEAD OF TOO YOUR HUSBANDS, MAYBE THEY WOULD OPEN THERE EYES!" I think what you mean is that I should have told my husband what I've said in my confessions. I have. He tunes me out.

Perhaps I should try with you: check your spelling and grammar, please.

There, did that make everything better? Did it turn you magically literate?

Anonymous said...

Then why don't you leave him?

Anonymous said...

Why don't we all leave our husbands? Yes - that is clearly the solution...for all of those not married with child(ren),house,loans, childcare ( or not) and everything else it takes to make a "home" these days.

I don't leave because I made a promise to him to be his life partner. I made a promise when we decided to have a child together - we would raise this child together.
And just like a job I don't always enjoy - I still get up and do it when I don't want to.

Furthermore, THINGS CHANGE in the span of a marriage. I am not the same person - whereas Him? Pretty much the same person, in my opinion. And the things I want - I deserve now - are not the same as the things I wanted at 21.

Does this mean I am about to run off and divorce him because I get angry about things, or because I don't feel any desire towards him? Nope. Am I going to stay silent about those feelings? Nope. But saying it out loud relieves some of the pressure and allows me to brush off and get back to the job at hand.

PLUS - marriage is a legal contract. It is difficult and contentious to dissolve. Sometimes I just remember that I am carrying out my part of the contract - other times it barely feels like I am working at it at all.

Anonymous said...

#1779 - "What do you know?" Classic line. Probably not much :)

1:18 Anonymous: Outstanding communication! You should become a therapist. Think of all the marriages you could fix just by communicating what needs to be fixed to these lousy husbands! Thanks...I needed your dose of wit and sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

clueless, clueless man:/

Anonymous said...

What's done on this site is called "venting" -- and we're confident that all you sanctimonious little critics will survive your ghastly exposure to it.

Anonymous said...

#1771: Please read #1773. THAT is what a healthy, loving relationship is supposed to be like. Can you imagine your guy ever doing that? No? Then you're wasting your time with him. Why should he change? You're staying with him despite his bad behavior! Dump his ass (I notice you don't mention being married - did I miss something?) and hold out for someone who will treat you well.

Anonymous said...

1:18, et al. I, too, tell and tell and tell my husband, but it doesn't seem to help. Then he says I need to tell him when I need help. I do. He doesn't get it. Also, it seems men see requests as "being told what to do," which is something real men apparently cannot accept.

9:49 I am a horrible grammar snob. Poor spelling and grammar make me crazy. It doesn't make people sound "folksy"; it makes them sound uneducated.

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling we're being "Jane Doh'd" by 1780.

Anonymous said...

What's really sad to me is that many woman don't leave thir relationships because the men in them used to be wonderful. Everyone changes as time goes on, but the key is not to take each other for granted on a constant basis. Have compassion for eachother.

Both people in the relationship, in a loving relationship, have to be able to own thier actions and be able to recognize how their actions effect the people around them.

It's easy to say "If you're not happy, then leave" when you're not the one in the relationship. But at the same time, if you guys want to kill eachother, then it's time to leave - kids or no kids - it's not cohesive for anyone involved.

Dira said...

1780 - Oh, so - woman are 'stronger than men' and the 'pillars of marriage'?

Claptrap. Mealy-mouthed nonsense intended to shift the responsibility - and the blame. Marriage in this day and age should be an arrangement between two equals, and the burden of keeping it together falls on both equally.

Funny how, when it's something men don't want to do, we're suddenly the strong ones!

Daniel said...

That is bullshit. I can not tell you how many times i have made stupid mistakes because i am scared or worried and my wife has always been there to show me that no matter how many time this world can eat your heart and shit it out there are beautiful people in it that will cherrish you and love you completely. If you do not want to be an adversary with your wife consider for a minute that maybe, just maybe, she might be mad at you BECAUSE SHES RIGHT.

Anonymous said...

There is no doubt that communication is important in a marriage or any relationship for that matter. The problem lies when one person DOESN'T listen. If a woman or MAN for that matter is constantly asking for something, it is because the other person hasn't LISTENED yet. I sympathize with all of you that have talked until you are blue in the face. At some point, it has to come to a stop.

Anonymous said...

1773

loved it! my husband would do the same. your post made me feel a hundred times better today. thank you so much.


hey grammer nazi

get over it. maybe some of us are uneducated, or just rushed. so what. i did not know this was site about spelling. i though it was about relationships ( i have a great one!!!). once again i will not spell check so you can go to work and complain about how much smarter you are than everyone else to your co-workers. have fun!

Anonymous said...

ABOUT POST 1780

I AM NOT MARRIED, but I have a female friend who while we aren't dating we are close. She was having a birthday party and it seems that every time we're supposed to get together something comes up. Last she got very mad about this. I didn't understand because we aren't dating, married, etc.

I'm an only child and as such I've never really needed up close and personal human contact. I'm fine with it but don't fiend for it. Phone contact is good enough.

The problem was, she just wanted to see me and every time she thought we would get together it didn't happen. For me I don't see most of my friends often, I do see them more than I see her but we work on projects so we have to see each other.

Most of the times I talk with my friends on the phone and have no problem with it. But when I think about it I haven't seen her in close to a year, but until she bought this up to me (by hanging up bitterly), it wasn't a problem.

Men (good men) see women as the gift from God that you are especially wives. Some of you can't/shouldn't be pleased just like some men can't/shouldn't be, but most of you can be pleased, and should be but if there's a problem please tell us. Most of us will try to figure it out. As a reader of this form my biggest fear is getting married and my wife harboring hate for me over something fixable. Also, ladies, remember we are not robots and we too have emotions. It's easy to chalk everything up to male ego but we too are human. Good luck ladies and God bless.

Anonymous said...

#1780 I think it's great that their are still good men out there. But once you've been treated like that and finally get the courage to leave accept fault and you've failed. Starting over trusting and pitting all those emotions out their again is even scarier.