Confession #511
Sometimes I think I hate you, When we were first married I loved you more than anything. Everytime you yell at me,push me down, or insult me I love you less. I hate that you don't love me enough to stop hurting me. I hate that you treat me like that in front of our daughter. Our daughter is the only reason I'm still with you.
I look at other men and daydream that I am with them. I am waiting for a great man to ask me (with our daughter) to leave you so I can be with him. I feel like I will never escape, you will always be there questioning me, smothering me, making me hate you even more. I feel that I will never get the chance to feel in love with someone again.
Confession #512
When you cancelled out on my Birthday 3 years ago because of work, I lied and said it was okay. When you forgot last year, I lied and said it was okay. My birthday is the day after tomorrow and we have tickets and plans with friends...and you just left me a voice mail saying you had to back out.
For the past six months you have promised to come with me to my chemo and radiation treatments. You have never made it. I always tell you its okay. That I don't care.
Its not okay anymore. And I do care.
When I do decide to call you back I will be ending things with your selfish, lying, manipulative ass.
Confession #513
I did the right thing today. I told him no and walked away. I just couldn't bring myself to break your trust again like I used to. So, you should know I am faithful and today I did the hardest thing possible. I told him no and I was true to you. I love you. I loved him, but I love you. And I told him no.
Confession #514
When your oldest daughter from your first marriage flipped her car resulting in the death of your beautiful grand-daughter, I wished it was her that had died? I can't express enough how thankful I am that both your daughters have stopped contacting you... I love you honey but your kids don't deserve you.
Confession #515
I was going to do the "right" thing and stay with you until our son had grown up. But then I noticed that he was turning out just like you. Since there is no woman on this earth that deserves to put up with your emotional abuse and utter crap, I am leaving you. Not today, but very very soon. I could put up with a lousy husband, but not a lousy father. He deserves better than that.
Confession #516
I know my last name begins with E. I know that my deceased mother's first name begins with E.
But that E tattoo I bought myself for my birthday last year, stands for the greatest lover I ever had.
And "hE" still is.
Confession #517
You are my best friend. I love you with all my heart. I hate this war and the fact that you have to be there. Please be careful. I have to say something but I would never say it to you: I am so afraid that you will get killed out there. I am so lonely without you and knowing you are thousands of miles away and people are shooting at you and trying to kill you! I am so sick inside when I think of that! Please be safe. Please come home to me in one piece. Last time you went there, you got hurt pretty badly. I can't believe you went back, though I understand it's your duty. But hopefully, someday, it will be your duty to come home and make a beautiful family with me...safe..in America. I love you with all my heart. I am so grateful and so thankful for your service and your courage. But please, don't get killed. I need you.
Confession #518
I only married you because everyone told me not to.
Confession #519
Dear husband, tonight I got a tattoo. I know you think they are a waste of money but I wanted it. You are asleep in our bed as I write this. All my friends knew I was doing this.. I don't know how to tell you
Confession #520
When we met 11 years ago, you had no money, a shitty job, and a pile of credit card debt. But you were trying to get it together, and I spent three years helping you pay off the cards. We lived in a crummy place in a scary neighborhood, and slowly built a more comfortable life. We had kids, and I left work with your blessing. I guided our prematurely-born, disabled son through a maze of doctors and therapists for him to progress to a point where his disability is virtually undetectable. And now you are (again) bugging me to spend $5K that we don't have on a stupid third car that you want for a hobby? And you want to finance it??? Whatever happened to us living within our means? And now when I put my foot down about it, you act like a petulant 9-year-old and start suggesting I get a job so you can buy your toys? And then you mention that you wish you hadn't gotten married? Buddy, same here. You have no idea the line you have crossed, as you are out now with your buddies. I am here at home with the "D" word heavy on my mind.
*Sorry for the terrible delay in publishing. For those of you who don't follow my "home" blog, I was finishing my dissertation, defending it and then moving across the country. Yep, I haz a Ph.D. now. Dawn - July 10, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
True Wife Confessions Area 51
Confession #501
Last night, when you told me that I was more important then money and your job? When you told me you no longer cared about work so much? When you told me that you are willing to move to Europe with me? When you told me that my dreams had been on hold for long enough? When you told me that our son meant the world and everything to you? When you told me that you realized that I was ready to walk out on you? When you told me that you are a jackass for not seeing that you were "suffocating your precious butterfly" and "are sorry for clipping my wings for so long"?
that was the most redeeming moment in our entire relationship and I love you for it.
Confession #502
When I gained 75 lbs from pregnancy, I could tell you were repulsed by me. What a hypocrite you are. Now I have lost those pounds plus 5 more. What do you have to say now? Here is what I have to say. Practice some self control you FAT ASS!
Confession #503
you're such an ass, I don't know why I bother...No really, you fucking suck at life...Oh yeah if you grab my tits or crotch again you might just be picking yourself up off the floor...No its not a turn on and neither are you...you need to brush your teeth...And you know what, I really really don't give a damn about your needs anymore cause you have never cared about mine...I have needs too and they aren't sexual...How about how I needed you to be with me while I was pregnant with both of our daughters..hmm the first time you were hooked on drugs and the 2nd time you were hooked on an ugly ass rat faced anorexic home wrecking bitch...in fact everytime i have ever really really needed you to be there, needed to be able to count on you, you were gone like your ass was on fire, except for the time our daughter was in the hospital, but you were gone again the day she got out and nowhere to be found when she was sick before they found out why...it was a good show though....so yeah fuck you and your needs....and finally (although i could go on for days) DO NOT TRY TO DISCIPLINE OUR DAUGHTER when you wont even stay in her life consistently. Prove yourself as a worthy father, a good dad, and then you can play that part, but until then, i will handle it and if you don't like the way I handle things then FUCK OFF cause i do it ALONE and I do the best I can and so help me God, if you EVER spank her, I will kick your no good ass all over the damn house...You don't deserve them and you don't deserve me and if you really want us then you need to spend the rest of your life making up for the bullshit you have put us through and never put us through anymore..How it is possible to hate and love someone so much at the same time?
Confession #504
I love you to pieces, but is it really necessary to silently fart if I am walking behind you and then giggle when I gag? I know we both have a sick sense of humor, and that's of the many reasons we get along and love each other, but if you do that one more time I am going to throw up on you,Youu crop-dusting ass.
Confession #505
I really appreciate how much you put up with me. You help carry my baggage and you shouldn’t have to.
Your patience with me sometimes is astounding and I am really, really, really thankful for that.
Having a man that understands your freak-outs and your insecurities and still loves and accepts you is one of the most lovable, incredible, and sexiest things ever.
Thank you bubaloo. xoxo
Confession #506
I cannot understand how you think you are a clean person if you don't use soap. Who takes a shower and doesn't use soap? Why even waste the water? I also hate your feet. They gross me out.
Confession #507
You are a waste of human flesh. All those years I spent supporting you, paying the bills, loving you. You never loved me back. Cheating on me since the beginning. I know about them all. Being perpetually unemployed while I went to work every day. Paid all the bills and made ends meet while you took every opportunity to spend what was left and run up the credit cards. You, motherfucker, had a baby with some 22 year old at the same time that we had our son together, you son of a bitch. And then as if all that wasn't bad enough, as if you felt justified in cheating and withholding affection, love and time from your family you started to hit me. Not only hit me but hold me hostage and terrorize me. I actually thought you would kill me. Well, fuck you. I got to the phone, I called the police and they took your sorry ass to jail. And then I moved my stuff and my son far away and you will never see us again. I hope you suffer for the rest of your life.
Confession #508
It makes me heartsick that my abusive, loser of a first husband had me when I was young and thin... and you get me 60 lbs heavier and 10 years older. I love you so much, that I would die if you ever found out that that S.O.B . still has more say in how I view my body than you do. This is the real reason that I am starting to exercise and be more careful what I eat. You treat me like a queen and tell me I am beautiful with your words and actions... I am going to start acting like a queen. I am beautiful.
Confession #509
I've been fucking your brother for the last year. Odds are, our son is actually his.
Before that, I was fucking your best friend and his wife, and still do on ocassion.
I have never been faithful to you, even before we got married. You are a good man and a decent father and provider, but you simply have no idea what to do in bed. I would rather mastubate with a cheese grater than have sex with you.
Confession #510
I look at you and thank god everyday to have a husband like you. You are a wonderful father to our two girls and when I see you playing with them my heart melts. I also do appreciate the foot rubs at night because you completely understand that it's not easy being 7 months pregnant. You are the glue to our family.
Last night, when you told me that I was more important then money and your job? When you told me you no longer cared about work so much? When you told me that you are willing to move to Europe with me? When you told me that my dreams had been on hold for long enough? When you told me that our son meant the world and everything to you? When you told me that you realized that I was ready to walk out on you? When you told me that you are a jackass for not seeing that you were "suffocating your precious butterfly" and "are sorry for clipping my wings for so long"?
that was the most redeeming moment in our entire relationship and I love you for it.
Confession #502
When I gained 75 lbs from pregnancy, I could tell you were repulsed by me. What a hypocrite you are. Now I have lost those pounds plus 5 more. What do you have to say now? Here is what I have to say. Practice some self control you FAT ASS!
Confession #503
you're such an ass, I don't know why I bother...No really, you fucking suck at life...Oh yeah if you grab my tits or crotch again you might just be picking yourself up off the floor...No its not a turn on and neither are you...you need to brush your teeth...And you know what, I really really don't give a damn about your needs anymore cause you have never cared about mine...I have needs too and they aren't sexual...How about how I needed you to be with me while I was pregnant with both of our daughters..hmm the first time you were hooked on drugs and the 2nd time you were hooked on an ugly ass rat faced anorexic home wrecking bitch...in fact everytime i have ever really really needed you to be there, needed to be able to count on you, you were gone like your ass was on fire, except for the time our daughter was in the hospital, but you were gone again the day she got out and nowhere to be found when she was sick before they found out why...it was a good show though....so yeah fuck you and your needs....and finally (although i could go on for days) DO NOT TRY TO DISCIPLINE OUR DAUGHTER when you wont even stay in her life consistently. Prove yourself as a worthy father, a good dad, and then you can play that part, but until then, i will handle it and if you don't like the way I handle things then FUCK OFF cause i do it ALONE and I do the best I can and so help me God, if you EVER spank her, I will kick your no good ass all over the damn house...You don't deserve them and you don't deserve me and if you really want us then you need to spend the rest of your life making up for the bullshit you have put us through and never put us through anymore..How it is possible to hate and love someone so much at the same time?
Confession #504
I love you to pieces, but is it really necessary to silently fart if I am walking behind you and then giggle when I gag? I know we both have a sick sense of humor, and that's of the many reasons we get along and love each other, but if you do that one more time I am going to throw up on you,Youu crop-dusting ass.
Confession #505
I really appreciate how much you put up with me. You help carry my baggage and you shouldn’t have to.
Your patience with me sometimes is astounding and I am really, really, really thankful for that.
Having a man that understands your freak-outs and your insecurities and still loves and accepts you is one of the most lovable, incredible, and sexiest things ever.
Thank you bubaloo. xoxo
Confession #506
I cannot understand how you think you are a clean person if you don't use soap. Who takes a shower and doesn't use soap? Why even waste the water? I also hate your feet. They gross me out.
Confession #507
You are a waste of human flesh. All those years I spent supporting you, paying the bills, loving you. You never loved me back. Cheating on me since the beginning. I know about them all. Being perpetually unemployed while I went to work every day. Paid all the bills and made ends meet while you took every opportunity to spend what was left and run up the credit cards. You, motherfucker, had a baby with some 22 year old at the same time that we had our son together, you son of a bitch. And then as if all that wasn't bad enough, as if you felt justified in cheating and withholding affection, love and time from your family you started to hit me. Not only hit me but hold me hostage and terrorize me. I actually thought you would kill me. Well, fuck you. I got to the phone, I called the police and they took your sorry ass to jail. And then I moved my stuff and my son far away and you will never see us again. I hope you suffer for the rest of your life.
Confession #508
It makes me heartsick that my abusive, loser of a first husband had me when I was young and thin... and you get me 60 lbs heavier and 10 years older. I love you so much, that I would die if you ever found out that that S.O.B . still has more say in how I view my body than you do. This is the real reason that I am starting to exercise and be more careful what I eat. You treat me like a queen and tell me I am beautiful with your words and actions... I am going to start acting like a queen. I am beautiful.
Confession #509
I've been fucking your brother for the last year. Odds are, our son is actually his.
Before that, I was fucking your best friend and his wife, and still do on ocassion.
I have never been faithful to you, even before we got married. You are a good man and a decent father and provider, but you simply have no idea what to do in bed. I would rather mastubate with a cheese grater than have sex with you.
Confession #510
I look at you and thank god everyday to have a husband like you. You are a wonderful father to our two girls and when I see you playing with them my heart melts. I also do appreciate the foot rubs at night because you completely understand that it's not easy being 7 months pregnant. You are the glue to our family.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
True Wife Confessions 328 copy-edit notations
Confession # 3281
You went away for a long time. It wasnt days or weeks or even months. You were gone for six years and although not a day went by, that I didn't love you and miss you and want you home I was not perfect. You know when I told you about that one guy that I had a physical relationship with somewhere around the 4 year milemarker of your absence? Well he wasn't the first (or the last), but he was the only one that I developed "feelings" for. It lasted about 8 months before he cheated on me with his ex (Karma-ya ya I know). There were a few before him and one after; one being my middle school sweetheart who found me via myspace ten years later. Before I could realize he was a complete psycho; I was pregnant. I terminated the pregnancy, a decision I will live with for the rest of my life. I know there are some things that you just have to keep to yourself and this one has been gnawing at me for years hence my confession. I waited for your for more then a year and a half before any of my indiscretions. You were gone because of your own actions, and even though I never stopped loving you and I waited for you to come home I am still a women and I had needs which you could not tend to. I did the best I could and I made some mistakes. I am sorry for the pain I have caused that you will never feel. I am sorry that you think I am so amazing for waiting and I am sorry that I wasnt strong enough to wait it out faithfully.
Confession # 3282
Hello Dawn, I hope it's OK for a guy to vent here aswell. I have nowhere else to write this. Your doing a good thing with this site. Thank you, G.
I know I still love you, but there are times when you make it pretty hard. I have defended you to our family and friends, but it hurts when I have to tell our children that your a good person when your actions toward them and me say something quite different. I know you like my body; I just wish you could give me a gentle carress instead of walking up to me and trying to grope my crotch. It's a major turn off just as the way you make me feel when we have 'relations' in bed. Do you really need to be stoned and/or drunk to have sex with me? I like the weed and booze too, but not every night. I also would like if sometimes we could 'make love', not the hard and fast wham bam you so prefer. Are you in such a hurry to get your orgasm and go to sleep? I generally take longer than you but when I ask for you to whisper sexy thoughts into my ear while I finish by hand, it hurts when you say "sorry, I've got nothing". You say you want to be in shape but when I offer to exercise with you, you get angry and say it's not that easy. Your right, it's hard to maintain the shape I'm in. I put in the effort because I like it, but it used to be because it turned you on that I was in shape. Now you sit around stoned and munching on costco sized bags of chips and wonder how your blood pressure got high and you put on 50 lbs since we got married. I get no appreciative looks or comments from you anymore, but I sure get winked at in the mall and see others checking me out. It makes me happy all day but I can't tell you because you get all pissy and jealous and I have to walk on egg shells for three days and stroke your ego. And when we watch a movie together does it always have to be sci/fi or action? You know I like rom/coms but you just snort derisively if I ever get my way and we watch one. You haven't turned me on in years and your slobby habits just make it worse. When our daughter reaches 18 in under 2 years, I'll be gone. Fuck you and your emotionally abusive, controlling ways. Signed your formerly loving husband
Confession #3283
I met you when I was so young. Instant, electric, I couldn't live without you. We longed for each other whenever apart. I wanted our first sex, my first, to be special and romantic; instead, it just sort of happened. I remember standing in the shower afterward, feeling apart from myself. I was fine after awhile; afraid you'd leave my apartment so I jumped out, toweled off and smoothed things over. I am always reassuring you.
We decided to get married and a romantic proposal wasn't necessary, I guess. Just last week, you snapped at me because it came up in conversation. I rushed the wedding so much, my family was convinced I was pregnant; I just couldn't stand to not be married to you anymore. I became your wife and gave up my career. What you told me before the wedding, what I hung my dreams on, that you'd follow my job anywhere, ended up being lip service. Because of what I know now, I cannot in good conscience bring a child into this marriage. I know it would be the end of us.
You are so complacent now, a few years into the marriage, that I don't know how we will be together in middle age. I am wired monogamously; I want to be married forever.
I still want to stay, but I don't know if I can.
Confession #3284
We are to be married, and everyday, I feel like I am sinking deeper and deeper into an inescapable sinkhole. You already broke my heart so badly. When our second child was born, I thought we were embarking on the rest of our lives together, but I got to see what a truly selfish and lazy person you can be. You were too lazy to be responsible at all. Instead, you let me hold down the fort, get into debt, and all the while, you played video games and watched so much porn that we had a non-existent sex-life. I only wish I could have escaped before we were hopelessly entangled. Now, I have so much debt, we have one car, and two children. I feel so hopelessly trapped. I do not think I really want to marry you, but I see no way to avoid it other than completely ending our relationship. Part of me still loves you, but another large part of me can never look at you in the same way. That part of me feels it may be impossible to bring the romance back, that part of me sometimes just wants to throw all of your shit out of the house, and that part of me cries for the person I was before I met you.
Confession #3285
I realized a few days ago that I've finally run out of patience with you. Your constant games, though amusing and exhilarating at first, have become translucent to show that you are just a man who will never grow up.
A sudden epiphany was brought on by a conversation with your dad. Yes, I’m sure the self obsessed creature within is pleased to know that the topic of that conversation was you. I told your dad I couldn’t cope with your hot and icy behavior. He asked me to be more patient with you and that you were now keeping your distance due to his ill but greatly improving health. He also said it should be soon that you will be coming around and you will be the one who sweeps me off my dainty little feet. Your sweet father also said he saw a lot of good within me and that whatever else should be put aside by you.
I know that you tell your sister, one of my best friends, that my father’s disloyalty to his uncle has broken your respect and that you can’t bear to be sitting across a table from him. You also manage to tell our friends that I’m just immaturely crushing away on you and that there is nothing there from your side. I’m glad knowing that some of our friends and your family members see through your deception. None of your excuses have been legitimate deal breakers.
It’s always been convenient to give these excuses that there’s something wrong on my side. Let me say that it doesn’t matter to me that you’re 28 and I’m 20. It doesn’t matter that your family is sometimes not considerate to my family. It doesn’t matter that you have no house or car yet. Yes, those things don’t matter because I know and have seen the beautiful, hardworking person with a heart of gold within you. I know that person can get locked away behind fears and that’s why I have been so patient.
I do feel sorry for you. I know commitment scares you. It makes you act like a timid little turtle that hides and moves slowly. I heard what she did to you, that ex girlfriend who broke your heart. I see and feel your fears. After all, it’s been three years now that I have been paying for her mistakes.
You’re not making any effort to work on it though. That’s where your immaturity comes in. You over think the obstacles in all of this while playing your stupid video games. I know you used to sometimes even get smug and think “she’ll always be there”. I I’m glad that trail of thought has changed. I’m glad that you’re picking up my distance and what’s funny enough is that you’re mimicking me. Why avoid me when I’m already avoiding you? You’re just trying to give it back to me and test my intentions. Why don’t you just fucking do something already?
I regret to say a simple crush as turned to be so much more. I know you feel exactly the same. When you hold, speak and look at me, I can feel it. I just will not be waiting here anymore.
Confession #3286
Dear babe,
I agreed to go have dinner at your parents because I love you and wanted to see your brother. Everything was fine at the dinner table until your parents thought it was funny to bring up all your ex girlfriends! Really? I really fucking deserve that after being married to you for 19 yrs and 3 boys???? What disrespect is that, I hate your fucking parents! What hurt me the most is that You didn't shut them up, you acted like a pussy! You put your head down and kept eating... fuck you babe, ill remember that, and btw Im not going to those fucking assholes house again!!!! They are mean, two faced Hypocrites.
Confession #3287
I really do think you're a great guy. You're caring, sweet, and loving. You have a good heart and we're the best of friends most of the time. I mean it when I tell you that I'm lucky to have you. But sometimes you are so fucking clueless it's unbelievable. And I get tired of being the only responsible one in the relationship. You forget to do everything, and are a huge procrastinator. You don't do anything unless I tell you to do it, and either you think I don't notice what you're not doing or you just forgot about it again. I don't forget about important things that need to be done and I notice everything you do...and don't do, like take the lawn bags that have been sitting against our back fence for nearly a year to the curb, or never clean the gutters so that there are actual plants growing in them. I hate being reminded that you're so immature. And to top it off, I can't register even the smallest complaint without you taking it way too personally and having an emotional fit. And when you give yourself permission to go off, you're not only an emotional disaster, you're also an asshole who can't LISTEN to save your life. I'm a logical, rational, reasonable person, and I can't engage in that emotional mess. You use it as an excuse to lash out at me and then profusely apologize later. I know you're sorry, but I also know it will happen again. And I never get to fully express myself, never have my feelings validated, and most of all, I never
I'll never be 100% fulfilled in our relationship because you have ADHD. I know I'm a good wife, and a great catch...and you're a good husband and a great catch too. But after years combined of therapy, I wonder how compatible we are. Sometimes I just want to scream at you, "Stop being a PUSSY!!!!" Maybe you'd be happier with someone who doesn't speak her mind and you don't even realize it. I sometimes think there might be a man out there for me who could give me that 100%, or at least get closer. Someone responsible, not lazy, and confident. But then the cycle ends and we start loving each other again. I'm trapped by your disorder.
Confession #3288
I love you and I want your heart to keep working, so I'm glad you're taking your medicine. But.
When you make that horrible snorking noise at the back of your throat it sounds like a motorcycle revving, and you do it next to my ear in bed at night when I'm falling asleep, and I understand that the medicine makes your throat itchy but the next time you startle me out of sleep I am going to fucking kill you and I'm going to fucking giggle while I do it.
Confession #3289
Dear Husband,
There was a time that I loved you. I really loved you and couldn't wait to marry you and begin our new life together. But you quickly turned out to be a man I hated. You took us all for a fool. You took me, my family and my friends all for fools by pretending to be someone you weren't. You treated me like royalty. You wined and dined me, you were a gentleman and generous to my family. Your talk of big plans like house-hunting and starting a family filled my head with amazing fantasies.
After we got married, you revealed your true, ugly self. You were a verbally abusive, narcissistic, controlling person. You blamed me for getting sick on our honeymoon. You picked a fight with my mother on Thanksgiving. You put up a fight with me when we were visiting my parents ON MY BIRTHDAY. Whenever I confronted you about being unhappy with your behavior, you would completely turn it around and say I was the one with the problem; what you were doing was totally normal. You refused to go to counseling with me. You would get very defensive at the most innocent comments I would make.
Even though we were married for only 7 months, they were 7 months of Hell. I wasn't sleeping. I was emotionally broken and drained. I can't live the rest of my life this way. I've been away from you for 2 weeks now and I've never felt better. I don't even miss you. And all the crap you say to me to try and get me back ("I love you", "I miss you", "I can't wait to be together again")? I'm not falling for it.
I've had enough. You fooled me for far too long. I will be fooled no longer.
Confession #3290
My darling wife
Weve been together for 10 years, and married for 6 months. And I am amazed at how fast your changing.
I wanted to marry you 7 years ago, and you said you weren’t ready, so I waited. Last year you said yes, and I was the happiest boy around, for about 4 months.
I cook nearly every night and do most of the cleaning up. I spend most of my time fixing things at your stable yard, helping your clients, looking after sick horses in the middle of the night and looking after the staff. Weekends are spent at horse shows, or driving your horse around the country. I’ve put nearly everything I have into making your business a success, and no matter what, it’s just not enough. Because I work from home, does that mean I have nothing better to do than run your business whilst you have coffee up the road with your friends?
When I’ve sent all day doing maintenance for you, then have to stay up until 4am finishing up my work, I’m going to be tired and grumpy. But those long nights are what pays the rent, buys you horses, and feeds them.
I moved to this country for you, I left my family, my friends and a career I loved. Have you sacrificed anything?
I make a huge effort with your family, they spend ½ their time at our house. You can barely be civil to mine, and you see them for a week a year.
When we finally do get around to having sex, it’s not all about you. How often have you done anything for me in the bedroom in the last few months? And how hard have you tried to do anything that I like? You’re very happy to lie back and get teased and shagged all night long, am I supposed to be honoured to be allowed to do this? Of course we only have sex when you feel like it. Who cares what I want?
I’m always telling you how wonderful you are, that you’re beautiful, I hold your hand when we go out, and open doors for you. Your friends tell you how lucky you are, and you agree with them in public, what do you really think?
Yesterday I needed you to help me. I needed to get the car serviced, and all I wanted was for you to fetch me once I’d dropped it off. About 20 minutes of your time. Was that asking too much?
The sulking and complaining was unbelievable.
Who uses that car?
Were getting very close to the point where I’ve had enough.
Last night you asked why I was so angry. I tried to explain it to you. Your response was I’m talking crap.
Kids.
We’re nearly 40. I wanted to have children a long time ago, and you said you did, isn’t that why we got married after being together for so long? Now you want to wait a few more years, so you don’t have to take time off from riding.
I’m sorry, I don’t want to be an old man too tired to play with my kids, and too set in my ways to put up with their friends. I wanted to be able to take them fishing, to the beach, show them what a wonderful world we live in.
I can trace my family back to the 12th century in Ireland. Im the last male with my surname, I really don’t want it to die out.
So here’s the deal
I’m setting up a new business, It’s in the bush, with a small farming community around, theres plenty of space for you to have as many horses as you like, but its about 2000K’s from the nearest horse show.
I’m going to be there by October. If you come, I’ll do everything I can to make a beautiful home for you, and give you a wonderful life.
If you don’t come. Then I’ll miss you terribly, I’ll probably spend years miserably trying to get over you, but in the end I will.
Yesterday was the culmination of a thousand little hurts, the straw that broke the camels back.
I look at you today, and just want to walk away. I can’t find the feelings that made me want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I know a lot of this is my fault, I’ve tried too hard, always hoping you’ll for a little bit of appreciation, for you to show how much you value me. For you to make an effort in bed.
The saddest part is I just don’t care any more.
You went away for a long time. It wasnt days or weeks or even months. You were gone for six years and although not a day went by, that I didn't love you and miss you and want you home I was not perfect. You know when I told you about that one guy that I had a physical relationship with somewhere around the 4 year milemarker of your absence? Well he wasn't the first (or the last), but he was the only one that I developed "feelings" for. It lasted about 8 months before he cheated on me with his ex (Karma-ya ya I know). There were a few before him and one after; one being my middle school sweetheart who found me via myspace ten years later. Before I could realize he was a complete psycho; I was pregnant. I terminated the pregnancy, a decision I will live with for the rest of my life. I know there are some things that you just have to keep to yourself and this one has been gnawing at me for years hence my confession. I waited for your for more then a year and a half before any of my indiscretions. You were gone because of your own actions, and even though I never stopped loving you and I waited for you to come home I am still a women and I had needs which you could not tend to. I did the best I could and I made some mistakes. I am sorry for the pain I have caused that you will never feel. I am sorry that you think I am so amazing for waiting and I am sorry that I wasnt strong enough to wait it out faithfully.
Confession # 3282
Hello Dawn, I hope it's OK for a guy to vent here aswell. I have nowhere else to write this. Your doing a good thing with this site. Thank you, G.
I know I still love you, but there are times when you make it pretty hard. I have defended you to our family and friends, but it hurts when I have to tell our children that your a good person when your actions toward them and me say something quite different. I know you like my body; I just wish you could give me a gentle carress instead of walking up to me and trying to grope my crotch. It's a major turn off just as the way you make me feel when we have 'relations' in bed. Do you really need to be stoned and/or drunk to have sex with me? I like the weed and booze too, but not every night. I also would like if sometimes we could 'make love', not the hard and fast wham bam you so prefer. Are you in such a hurry to get your orgasm and go to sleep? I generally take longer than you but when I ask for you to whisper sexy thoughts into my ear while I finish by hand, it hurts when you say "sorry, I've got nothing". You say you want to be in shape but when I offer to exercise with you, you get angry and say it's not that easy. Your right, it's hard to maintain the shape I'm in. I put in the effort because I like it, but it used to be because it turned you on that I was in shape. Now you sit around stoned and munching on costco sized bags of chips and wonder how your blood pressure got high and you put on 50 lbs since we got married. I get no appreciative looks or comments from you anymore, but I sure get winked at in the mall and see others checking me out. It makes me happy all day but I can't tell you because you get all pissy and jealous and I have to walk on egg shells for three days and stroke your ego. And when we watch a movie together does it always have to be sci/fi or action? You know I like rom/coms but you just snort derisively if I ever get my way and we watch one. You haven't turned me on in years and your slobby habits just make it worse. When our daughter reaches 18 in under 2 years, I'll be gone. Fuck you and your emotionally abusive, controlling ways. Signed your formerly loving husband
Confession #3283
I met you when I was so young. Instant, electric, I couldn't live without you. We longed for each other whenever apart. I wanted our first sex, my first, to be special and romantic; instead, it just sort of happened. I remember standing in the shower afterward, feeling apart from myself. I was fine after awhile; afraid you'd leave my apartment so I jumped out, toweled off and smoothed things over. I am always reassuring you.
We decided to get married and a romantic proposal wasn't necessary, I guess. Just last week, you snapped at me because it came up in conversation. I rushed the wedding so much, my family was convinced I was pregnant; I just couldn't stand to not be married to you anymore. I became your wife and gave up my career. What you told me before the wedding, what I hung my dreams on, that you'd follow my job anywhere, ended up being lip service. Because of what I know now, I cannot in good conscience bring a child into this marriage. I know it would be the end of us.
You are so complacent now, a few years into the marriage, that I don't know how we will be together in middle age. I am wired monogamously; I want to be married forever.
I still want to stay, but I don't know if I can.
Confession #3284
We are to be married, and everyday, I feel like I am sinking deeper and deeper into an inescapable sinkhole. You already broke my heart so badly. When our second child was born, I thought we were embarking on the rest of our lives together, but I got to see what a truly selfish and lazy person you can be. You were too lazy to be responsible at all. Instead, you let me hold down the fort, get into debt, and all the while, you played video games and watched so much porn that we had a non-existent sex-life. I only wish I could have escaped before we were hopelessly entangled. Now, I have so much debt, we have one car, and two children. I feel so hopelessly trapped. I do not think I really want to marry you, but I see no way to avoid it other than completely ending our relationship. Part of me still loves you, but another large part of me can never look at you in the same way. That part of me feels it may be impossible to bring the romance back, that part of me sometimes just wants to throw all of your shit out of the house, and that part of me cries for the person I was before I met you.
Confession #3285
I realized a few days ago that I've finally run out of patience with you. Your constant games, though amusing and exhilarating at first, have become translucent to show that you are just a man who will never grow up.
A sudden epiphany was brought on by a conversation with your dad. Yes, I’m sure the self obsessed creature within is pleased to know that the topic of that conversation was you. I told your dad I couldn’t cope with your hot and icy behavior. He asked me to be more patient with you and that you were now keeping your distance due to his ill but greatly improving health. He also said it should be soon that you will be coming around and you will be the one who sweeps me off my dainty little feet. Your sweet father also said he saw a lot of good within me and that whatever else should be put aside by you.
I know that you tell your sister, one of my best friends, that my father’s disloyalty to his uncle has broken your respect and that you can’t bear to be sitting across a table from him. You also manage to tell our friends that I’m just immaturely crushing away on you and that there is nothing there from your side. I’m glad knowing that some of our friends and your family members see through your deception. None of your excuses have been legitimate deal breakers.
It’s always been convenient to give these excuses that there’s something wrong on my side. Let me say that it doesn’t matter to me that you’re 28 and I’m 20. It doesn’t matter that your family is sometimes not considerate to my family. It doesn’t matter that you have no house or car yet. Yes, those things don’t matter because I know and have seen the beautiful, hardworking person with a heart of gold within you. I know that person can get locked away behind fears and that’s why I have been so patient.
I do feel sorry for you. I know commitment scares you. It makes you act like a timid little turtle that hides and moves slowly. I heard what she did to you, that ex girlfriend who broke your heart. I see and feel your fears. After all, it’s been three years now that I have been paying for her mistakes.
You’re not making any effort to work on it though. That’s where your immaturity comes in. You over think the obstacles in all of this while playing your stupid video games. I know you used to sometimes even get smug and think “she’ll always be there”. I I’m glad that trail of thought has changed. I’m glad that you’re picking up my distance and what’s funny enough is that you’re mimicking me. Why avoid me when I’m already avoiding you? You’re just trying to give it back to me and test my intentions. Why don’t you just fucking do something already?
I regret to say a simple crush as turned to be so much more. I know you feel exactly the same. When you hold, speak and look at me, I can feel it. I just will not be waiting here anymore.
Confession #3286
Dear babe,
I agreed to go have dinner at your parents because I love you and wanted to see your brother. Everything was fine at the dinner table until your parents thought it was funny to bring up all your ex girlfriends! Really? I really fucking deserve that after being married to you for 19 yrs and 3 boys???? What disrespect is that, I hate your fucking parents! What hurt me the most is that You didn't shut them up, you acted like a pussy! You put your head down and kept eating... fuck you babe, ill remember that, and btw Im not going to those fucking assholes house again!!!! They are mean, two faced Hypocrites.
Confession #3287
I really do think you're a great guy. You're caring, sweet, and loving. You have a good heart and we're the best of friends most of the time. I mean it when I tell you that I'm lucky to have you. But sometimes you are so fucking clueless it's unbelievable. And I get tired of being the only responsible one in the relationship. You forget to do everything, and are a huge procrastinator. You don't do anything unless I tell you to do it, and either you think I don't notice what you're not doing or you just forgot about it again. I don't forget about important things that need to be done and I notice everything you do...and don't do, like take the lawn bags that have been sitting against our back fence for nearly a year to the curb, or never clean the gutters so that there are actual plants growing in them. I hate being reminded that you're so immature. And to top it off, I can't register even the smallest complaint without you taking it way too personally and having an emotional fit. And when you give yourself permission to go off, you're not only an emotional disaster, you're also an asshole who can't LISTEN to save your life. I'm a logical, rational, reasonable person, and I can't engage in that emotional mess. You use it as an excuse to lash out at me and then profusely apologize later. I know you're sorry, but I also know it will happen again. And I never get to fully express myself, never have my feelings validated, and most of all, I never
I'll never be 100% fulfilled in our relationship because you have ADHD. I know I'm a good wife, and a great catch...and you're a good husband and a great catch too. But after years combined of therapy, I wonder how compatible we are. Sometimes I just want to scream at you, "Stop being a PUSSY!!!!" Maybe you'd be happier with someone who doesn't speak her mind and you don't even realize it. I sometimes think there might be a man out there for me who could give me that 100%, or at least get closer. Someone responsible, not lazy, and confident. But then the cycle ends and we start loving each other again. I'm trapped by your disorder.
Confession #3288
I love you and I want your heart to keep working, so I'm glad you're taking your medicine. But.
When you make that horrible snorking noise at the back of your throat it sounds like a motorcycle revving, and you do it next to my ear in bed at night when I'm falling asleep, and I understand that the medicine makes your throat itchy but the next time you startle me out of sleep I am going to fucking kill you and I'm going to fucking giggle while I do it.
Confession #3289
Dear Husband,
There was a time that I loved you. I really loved you and couldn't wait to marry you and begin our new life together. But you quickly turned out to be a man I hated. You took us all for a fool. You took me, my family and my friends all for fools by pretending to be someone you weren't. You treated me like royalty. You wined and dined me, you were a gentleman and generous to my family. Your talk of big plans like house-hunting and starting a family filled my head with amazing fantasies.
After we got married, you revealed your true, ugly self. You were a verbally abusive, narcissistic, controlling person. You blamed me for getting sick on our honeymoon. You picked a fight with my mother on Thanksgiving. You put up a fight with me when we were visiting my parents ON MY BIRTHDAY. Whenever I confronted you about being unhappy with your behavior, you would completely turn it around and say I was the one with the problem; what you were doing was totally normal. You refused to go to counseling with me. You would get very defensive at the most innocent comments I would make.
Even though we were married for only 7 months, they were 7 months of Hell. I wasn't sleeping. I was emotionally broken and drained. I can't live the rest of my life this way. I've been away from you for 2 weeks now and I've never felt better. I don't even miss you. And all the crap you say to me to try and get me back ("I love you", "I miss you", "I can't wait to be together again")? I'm not falling for it.
I've had enough. You fooled me for far too long. I will be fooled no longer.
Confession #3290
My darling wife
Weve been together for 10 years, and married for 6 months. And I am amazed at how fast your changing.
I wanted to marry you 7 years ago, and you said you weren’t ready, so I waited. Last year you said yes, and I was the happiest boy around, for about 4 months.
I cook nearly every night and do most of the cleaning up. I spend most of my time fixing things at your stable yard, helping your clients, looking after sick horses in the middle of the night and looking after the staff. Weekends are spent at horse shows, or driving your horse around the country. I’ve put nearly everything I have into making your business a success, and no matter what, it’s just not enough. Because I work from home, does that mean I have nothing better to do than run your business whilst you have coffee up the road with your friends?
When I’ve sent all day doing maintenance for you, then have to stay up until 4am finishing up my work, I’m going to be tired and grumpy. But those long nights are what pays the rent, buys you horses, and feeds them.
I moved to this country for you, I left my family, my friends and a career I loved. Have you sacrificed anything?
I make a huge effort with your family, they spend ½ their time at our house. You can barely be civil to mine, and you see them for a week a year.
When we finally do get around to having sex, it’s not all about you. How often have you done anything for me in the bedroom in the last few months? And how hard have you tried to do anything that I like? You’re very happy to lie back and get teased and shagged all night long, am I supposed to be honoured to be allowed to do this? Of course we only have sex when you feel like it. Who cares what I want?
I’m always telling you how wonderful you are, that you’re beautiful, I hold your hand when we go out, and open doors for you. Your friends tell you how lucky you are, and you agree with them in public, what do you really think?
Yesterday I needed you to help me. I needed to get the car serviced, and all I wanted was for you to fetch me once I’d dropped it off. About 20 minutes of your time. Was that asking too much?
The sulking and complaining was unbelievable.
Who uses that car?
Were getting very close to the point where I’ve had enough.
Last night you asked why I was so angry. I tried to explain it to you. Your response was I’m talking crap.
Kids.
We’re nearly 40. I wanted to have children a long time ago, and you said you did, isn’t that why we got married after being together for so long? Now you want to wait a few more years, so you don’t have to take time off from riding.
I’m sorry, I don’t want to be an old man too tired to play with my kids, and too set in my ways to put up with their friends. I wanted to be able to take them fishing, to the beach, show them what a wonderful world we live in.
I can trace my family back to the 12th century in Ireland. Im the last male with my surname, I really don’t want it to die out.
So here’s the deal
I’m setting up a new business, It’s in the bush, with a small farming community around, theres plenty of space for you to have as many horses as you like, but its about 2000K’s from the nearest horse show.
I’m going to be there by October. If you come, I’ll do everything I can to make a beautiful home for you, and give you a wonderful life.
If you don’t come. Then I’ll miss you terribly, I’ll probably spend years miserably trying to get over you, but in the end I will.
Yesterday was the culmination of a thousand little hurts, the straw that broke the camels back.
I look at you today, and just want to walk away. I can’t find the feelings that made me want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I know a lot of this is my fault, I’ve tried too hard, always hoping you’ll for a little bit of appreciation, for you to show how much you value me. For you to make an effort in bed.
The saddest part is I just don’t care any more.
Monday, March 19, 2012
True Wife Confessions 50-50
Confession #491
To my ex mother-in-law:
Your precious first-born son, the one you think is so perfect, the one you think is the most wonderful being on the planet?
He's actually the most selfish, inconsiderate, immature person I have ever met in my life.
You're part of the reason we split up. YOU raised him to be that way.
Maybe you aren't such a great mom after all.
Confession #492
I don't know what I did to get so lucky, but you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You have put up with so much, and you have been such a rock for me. I don't say it enough, and you probably need to hear it more, but without you, I would never have made it this far. You are a special man, and a great dad, and I thank you for standing by us, when you could easily have walked away. I have always said your worst quality was your ridiculously poor memory, but on second thought, it is probably what has kept us together for so long!
Confession #493
Honey, I really truly don't mind your little porn habit. Sometimes you find stuff that's really hot, and on the rare occasion when all the stars align and The Boy goes to sleep early, it's fun to watch it together. But why, by all that's holy, do you have to set your stupid filesharing programs looking for the stuff every single night? Don't you know I have insomnia? I can't always go back to sleep after The Boy nurses, so I get up to read/update my blog and just have some alone time at the computer without someone hitting me with Duplos or shoving Dr. Seuss books into my spine. I Do Not Want to read my email at less than dial-up speeds because you are downloading five thousand little clips from some obscure butt-fucking video, okay? Stop. It. Download the crap during the freakin' day while you are at work. Chances are I won't have any time at all then to be on the computer anyway, because I'll be too busy cooking, potty training, doing laundry, cleaning the damn house, and removing the fucking books from my spine to even sit down. Give me a freakin' break, already.
Confession #494
I hate your computers. I don't believe or even care that they are part of your job anymore. Honey, you sell computers. You install software. You don't write code, so why, why, why do you need the latest and greatest for your job? I hate that you have to have dual core whatever chips, and whatever-the-fuck front side bus speeds, and more RAM than God in the desktop. I hate that you have to have a really expensive laptop every couple of years. I really, really fucking hate from the bottom of my heart that the spiffy end all and be all of laptops that you absolutely HAD to have last year for your birthday, the one that they had on sale at the day after Thanksgiving sale, the one that necessitated my getting up at two a-freakin'-m and going to stand in the long ass line at the local electronics store with our baby wrapped up in the sling and nursing while I stood in line freezing my ass off for about four freakin' hours, was just not good enough and you traded it in less than six months later. Buy your own fucking laptop next year. Better yet, do without.
Oh yeah, and I hate talking about them too. I don't know what all that crap means, and I really don't care. Just let me take care of our child in peace. Talk to me about how things went at work, or world events, or our baby, or anything that's in English.
Confession #495
You are the nicest guy I ever went out with. I knew I got lucky. Your accomodating nature was such a nice change of pace. The fact that I knew I could always rely on you was one of the biggest things that attracted me to you. That, and your bizarre sense of humor that was so scarily like my own. You had confidence then, yet for some reason after three years of marriage, it's gone. Your backbone has softened, you automatically go into defense mode when I ask you a question, and you don't do anything unless I ask you to do it. You hug me and kiss me and tell me you love me everyday, and I know you mean it more than I could possibly know. I love you too, but I want that guy back, the guy I fell in love with. I adored him. I don't know where he went, but I miss him... I miss you...
Confession #496
You saved me. I was on a self-destructive path. You recognized that and were willing to reach out to me. Not only did that start our relationship, but it put an end to what would have proven to be my misery. Maybe you didn't so much save me as help me find the strength to save myself, holding your hand along the way. You were the first person I ever told. When I told you my awful truth, you didn't run. You held me. You let me cry. You wanted to protect me, but you recognized that I needed the strength to protect myself. It was only through your love that I found that strength. I'm terrified to think about what my life would be like if we weren'’t together. I am in awe of you. I am so very thankful for you. I love you.
Confession #497
Just because I work in sales and you work at a job that holds you in one location from 8-5 does not mean that I am your personal errand girl. I AM WORKING!!! Yes, I am in the car. Yes, I drive all over town. Yes, I work out of the house. None of those things mean that I have time to run to the bank for you, run to the post office for you, run to the dry cleaner for you, and most of all, run through the drive thru for you cause you are 'really busy and don't have time to take lunch'!!! You seem to think that I have time to drop everything and do your bidding because I am in the car. Just so you know, I only run those errands for you because I would rather go out of my way than have to listen to you whine when I get home. And you wonder why I am mysteriously NEVER available lately when you call in the middle of the day. Oh, and the text message requests to run errands? Fuck you. No, I didn't forget my phone at home three days straight last week. I just didn't want to run around for you
Confession #498
I know you read true wife confessions. I know that you are looking for mine.
Confession #499
Sometimes I wake up in the night to watch you sleep, and I can'’t breathe because I love you so much. I wish I could tell you, but you don't trust the words, so I know it would only unsettle you to hear me say it. So I keep the house as clean as I can, spend hours cooking your meals, keep your sock drawer full of folded socks and love your child as much as I love my own. I hope it shows half of how much I love you, because I hear your love me when you say "thank you"” so often. You'’re wonderful!
Confession #500
I don't know if I can forgive you for letting me down when our son was born. You wouldn't read any books with me. You refused to go to a Bradley or Lamaze class with me, and you barely paid attention to the hospital based class we did go to. At least, if you did pay attention it didn't show. You obviously didn't learn anything from it. You refused to let me hire a doula because we didn't need it. But then you didn't step up to the plate and deliver. Because when the fucking asshole of an on-call obstetrician pushed a million fucking interventions at me that you knew damned well I didn't want and probably didn't need, you didn't stand up for me. Women in labor are vulnerable. I needed you there to protect me, not to play poker with our friend that stopped by. Not to sleep while I was in the tub trying to deal with the back labor. A back rub would have been nice. Not to eat pizza with your brother in front of me while the damned hospital nurses wouldn't let me eat anything despite the fact that I went without solid food for almost two fucking days. Not to play fucking video games on your GameBoy. I'd like to shove that GameBoy up your ass, you know. When it predictably ended up in a cesarean section for failure to progress, I was in tears and I felt like a fucking failure. I feel like I was raped and everyone stood around watching and no-one called the cops. Including you.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
True Wife Confession 49 ladders
Confession #481
you promised me that we would have kids. Now you "aren't sure anymore". Listen here, I told you if you didn't want kids it was okay, but I wasn't going to marry you. You PROMISED. I expect you to follow through. If I would have known you weren't going to keep your word I would have married David when he asked. Yeah, he didn't have a job then, but he does now and he was ready to have babies with me. I will leave you before I give up my desire to be a mother. Oh, and David? He is still single. How do I know? I meet him for coffee once a week.
Confession #482
Get some new stories to tell already. My father, who suffers from the same problem, has begun to comment to me that he has heard them all. When he has heard them all, the rest of us have heard them 10 times each.
Confession #483
I know you love me more than anything and that your doing the best you can.
I could never understand that hell that is the depression you are currently
experiencing or the agony of trying to get the right medication combination.
but ...
this morning when you were screaming and smashing your head into the wall
and telling me how you just wanted to die all I could think was "it is 3am
.... I have to be up in 3 hours ... I haven't slept for days". and then I
wished with all my might that you would just kill yourself. You are breaking
down and you are taking me down with you. And then when I had got enough
valium in you to make you fall asleep and as you were drifting off, you
apologised. You told me all you wanted to do was take care of me rather than
the other way around. I was so ashamed of myself. Now it's me that wants to
die.
I love you so much. I hope you get better soon, too. For your sake and mine.
Confession #484
I can still count on one hand the number of times I have burst into tears during the three years we have been married. So it's not like it's a daily occurance that you have to deal with. Only once have you ever acted like you even might care just a little. I don't expect you to fix the problem right there and then. Just act like you might give a shit.
Confession #485
I wish you would go out with your friends more often. I LIKE having the house to myself every now and then. I can read or work on crafty stuff without you pestering me to be done. I can watch HGTV, Bravo, the Food Network and even those sappy movies on Lifetime without you commenting like a jackass.
Confession #486
I have been cheating on you with a man I work with for a few years before our marriage broke down. This man was a much better lover than you and turned me on more that you ever did. He was also much more well endowned that you are and gave me more satisfaction. I don't regret it one bit because after all why should I be faithful to a man who puts his mummy dearest before his wife.
Confession #487
I know I fucked up when I married you this year. I felt sorry for you and I wanted you to be able to get your papers to live in this country and make a life for yourself. I'm sorry that you love me as much as you do. I try to piss you off as much as possible hoping that one day you snap and leave me. I can't bring myself to do it. I'm still in love with my first love and I've recently talked to him and there's hope that we might get together again. I'm sorry, I really am. I wish you would screw up and quit being so fucking nice and loving. Any woman in their right mind would want you but I just don't love you.
Confession #488
Now that I am in the process of filing for divorce, I wish I left you years
ago when we first started dating. You cried and begged me to stay. I know
now that it was a sign of your weakness and not of your love.
The only bright spot is the little boy you helped create, not raise. He is
the best, most wonderful thing in my life. I've stayed this long because of
him.
Please leave us forever, as it'll do us all a huge favor.
Confession #489
I know the exact moment I knew I HATED your mother.When she sent me the email telling me that "sending a thank you note after our wedding was protocol and standard etiquette in your family and expected through out the world.So if you have not sent out your Thank You notes to your guests please do so now." seven months after our wedding and like I was raised in a barn.Because her sister told her that she had not gotten one from use. Even though the week after our wedding your mother hounded us everyday asking if we had sent out our thank you notes until I told her the very day we put them in the mail that we had. So she knew we had sent them! But instead of asking why that one single person out of the 50 that attended did not get one, because lord knows it wasn't simple human error, she wrote the most passive aggressive email that in a sense let me know that when she sees me I can almost hear her think "My son should have done better".
I just didn't know that when I started crying after reading the email and showed you what it said you would walk off into the kitchen and put put around until you could hear me not crying and then walk in and offer a half hearted hug and an explanation that your mom has always been like that and I shouldn't let it bother me. That along with knowing the exact moment I hated your mother would be the same moment I started a clock in my head counting down to when I might leave you.I probably won't because I'm carrying your son.
Confession #490
Four years before we "met" at a mutual friend's party, we had gone on a blind date set up by this mutual friend. You remember every detail of that date, what I wore, etc. I claim to remember nothing at all, I say I don't even remember going on the date. I lied. I remember. I just say I don't remember because it is easier than admitting how much of a snobbish bitch I was. I was too wrapped up over your acne problem to give you a fair chance, too busy staring at your face to notice what a gentleman you were. That is why I never answered your calls. Because of my snobbery and shallowness, I spent the next three years in a relationship with a hot guy whose favorite past time was beating the living shit out of me instead of in a relationship with wonderful you. When I met you again at that party and you treated me so nicely after what I did to you, I felt ashamed. And now that you are the handsome one and I am overweight and frumpy after giving birth to two kids, you could do the same thing back to me, but you don't. You are the only thing that makes me feel like a woman, you tell me every day how beautiful I am, and when we are in the mall and girls check you out and you just smile and put your arm around me, I melt. Not to mention the fact that you are an AWESOME father, you let me sleep in EVERY day while you get up with the girls, you change more diapers than I do, and you cook dinner every night after working all day, all the time telling me to relax. I will never, ever, ever judge anyone ever again based solely on their looks. I hope you can forgive me.
Thursday, February 09, 2012
How to make me cry
Remind me that this still happens, all the time. Everywhere.
Because my pound of flesh wasn't enough.
Because until we all speak out and insist on being heard, it still goes on and on and on.
Because my pound of flesh wasn't enough.
Because until we all speak out and insist on being heard, it still goes on and on and on.
Monday, February 06, 2012
True Wife Confession 327 nothings
Confession #3271
It's been over a year since you left me. I survived you.
Confession #3272
I need you to stop fighting so much with our son. He is only eight years old, you are an adult. Grow up and stop acting like an asshole. Stop thinking you can be an authoritarian father that has his every command instantly done. You are not that guy, he is not that kid, that is not our family. Just stop that shit and learn to communicate. Our son is going to grow up and move as far away from you as he can get and I will miss him so much and always feel irritated with you for driving him away, so stop this crap before that happens.
Confession #3273
I love my mom in spite of her drinking and horrendous taste in boyfriends. Thank you for being the buffer when I was going out of my mind, for holding me when I cried myself to sleep Christmas Eve, and for understanding why I am the way I am.
Confession #3274
I hate your son and I hate his girlfriend and I hate that they live with us and do nothing and pay no rent! In case you haven’t noticed, I stopped cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom for the last three weeks to see if either of those lazy fuckers would actually get disgusted enough to do something about it. I am wondering what threshold for grossness they have, because that toilet is getting REALLY bad (this is why I poop at work)
I hate that you won’t tell him to grow the fuck up and take some REAL responsibility for his life! I love you more than anything, but you are not doing him any favors by rescuing him every time he screws up, and yes I love the grandbaby, but you gotta admit, that knocking up the ‘booty call’ that snuck in and out of our house when we were asleep in the middle of the night was a HUGE mistake!
Confession #3275
To my work husband:
We went to college together, we work for the same company, and I enjoy your friendship. But that's all I want from you. I like when we go out for a drink after work, talk smack about our boss and our customers, and then go to our own homes. I do not like when you have a few drinks too many and try to kiss me at the bar. And I realize that once upon a time we got wasted and slept together, but that's all it was: drunk sex. It was one thing in college when everyone was sleeping with everyone within our group of friends, but you're married now. The fact that you have that little regard for your wife doesn't make me want a deeper relationship with you, even if you drunkenly say you only married her because she was pregnant and would have married me otherwise. You are more supportive and generous with your friends and co-workers than you are with your wife. In your marriage you are a common, cheating bastard and a horrible husband. I have no idea why there is such a disconnect in your otherwise amazing personality.
Also, I am now dating someone and even if you're willing to betray your wife by sleeping with me, I am not willing to betray this man. It was twisted enough when I was single, but I'm not dragging in an innocent bystander; especially one who I can tell by his actions genuinely likes and cares about me. You've proven many times that you are a good friend to me, but the drunken "I love you" thing must stop. You know why your wife is a crazy bitch about you calling me? Because she can tell something isn't quite right there. She's right to feel mad and insecure. I wish she knew it was you pursuing me though; she thinks it's the other way around and it's clearly because that's what you told her. So when I get phone calls from her cussing me out, I don't react, I just hang up. Because she's not wrong, but she's also horribly misinformed. I 100% believe that you care about me and want to be friends forever, because you've put up with a lot of bullshit from me and if we didn't care about each other we wouldn't still be talking. But if you or your wife do anything to threaten my new relationship I have no problem never speaking to you again. You made your choice to get married even though you've never said anything positive about her the entire time I've known you. I believe you do love me though and now it's time to prove it by allowing me to be happy.
And by the way, I know you think you're amazing in bed. I never wanted to hurt your ego like that, but you're awful. I give you points for effort, at least you wanted to get me off, but you could never quite manage it.
Your work wife
Confession #3276
You treat we so well. You are patient, you put up with my passive aggressiveness, you forgive my low libido, you do the laundry, cooking, housework. You work full time, yet when I am too tired, too depressed, too whatever, you always pick up the slack without asking anything in return. You gave up your own interests to take care of my kids while I got an advanced degree, and then when my jobs hours took me out of the household. My kids were brats, they drove me crazy, and I know they drove you crazy, yet you persevered, you tried to teach them and show them right from wrong. And your kids did the same thing; they silenty tolerated my kids bullshit, they thrived while mine just didn't get it, and you never compared them, you just kept teaching and encouraging, all to no avail. Gosh I am such a brat! I am so afraid of losing you, I know I should get off my ass, I just don't know how and you haven't forced me to. I know you believe in free will and personal responsibility, that's why I expect you to finally say you've had enough, that you're leaving. Yet when my self esteem is at its lowest and I know I've disappointed you for the umpteenth time, and I look at your kind, handsome face and 50 year old, still perfect physique and worry about all the women who'd give their right arm for a man like you, you take me in your arms and tell me how much you love me, how beautiful you think I am, and how you'll never want a day to go by without me being your wife! What is wrong with me?
Confession #3277
Dearest husband
I hate how selfish you are. I hate how all you ever want is a blow or hand job I hate how it makes me feel knowing I'm not worth sex. Knowing you can say your too tired for sex but never too tired for a blow job. I hate how nasty you make me feel. How blood is the worst thing in the world. I don't get how the tail end of a period is gross. You hop up the second we are done to wipe off even when I'm not bleeding. I hate how you act as if sex with a condom is the worst thing ever. I'm suppose to put up with sperm but you can't put up with blood. Fucker. I hate how you can turn me Down for sex and I can catch you jerking off to your phone the next morning. Hate how stupid you make me feel and how alone I am because you moved me away from every one I knew to one of the biggest shit holes in America. I hate how you blame me for being depressed in such a shithole. I hate you mom. I hate how much of a kiss ass she is. How she waits hand and foot on you and her precious boyfriend. Like they aren't adults. I hate how she tries to show me up . I hate how she still talks to your ex girlfriend and wants to hang out with her. I frickin hate the fact your texting each other all the damn time you don't have the right to know every aspect of our marriage even our sex life and btw I don't want to fucking hear about yours. Your boyfriend is a weirdo. I dont trust him around my kids. And I don't trust you either. Because as soon as I turn my back you give them something they don't need or a dr said they can't have. Which you think your smarter than the dr. Don't tell me what to do for my children, you had your fucking chance. Stop bitching about your job. All jobs suck and the girls at work hate you because your a fake bitch. Your old so stop trying to act young. I told you I don't want your opinion so shut up. No one else has the balls to say it. I day dream about punching the shit out of you. I know you wanted him to marry the other bitch. I hate that if I have a bad day I'm not allowed to say it. I really hate porn. I feel it's an excuse to face problems. I hate your stupid burro games. Technology is ruining us. You get off to your phone computer or tv hang out with the boys in call of duty I never get mine. I lie about getting off on the rare occasions we have sex. I think your just too lazy to watch porn I feel like a chore rather than your lover. Your father and step mom are drunks and prob going to die young. Your family needs to grow up. I hate how angry you get with the kids. How everything is suppose to be perfect how you demand I go to the gym. How I have to or I feel like shit because you look at me like im nasty. I had your kids sorry I gained weight sorry I got depressed because your family are jackasses and I miss mine.
Confession #3278
I lost my true love 16 yrs ago, he was my first love and the first person I ever slept with. We recently got back in touch. I am married but I would give almost anything to be in his strong black arms again. I made the mistake of marrying a white man.. I fully plan to be with this man again one way or another. I wish we would of found each other again sooner. Sorry for those I/we hurt but she's gonna move aside as is my current husband.. babe i love you. You know who you are and i will be back by your side forever one of these days. I can't wait for those hands, those lips and that tongue to return to my body.... You do things to me no other man ever could.. he does things to my body that i am certain no other woman has felt.. i need him, i want him and one day I WILL HAVE HIM AND HIS LAST NAME! Not to mention feel him inside me...
Confession #3279
I hate your stuff. I hate:
-- The picture of stallions, woodburned onto a slab of plywood.
-- The clock made out of a redwood burl with two different styles of numerals, one style surrounded by shiny glue because whoever stuck on that second style to replace the original ones that fell off was kind of incompetent.
-- The two-foot-by-three-foot picture of a ramshackle building by disused railroad tracks, with real wires representing the telephone wires and aluminum foil representing the windows in the building and real rocks glued on to represent the rocks.
-- The flip-numeral clock radio from the seventies that makes grumbling noises every goddamn time the numerals flip.
When you die I will miss you, but I cannot wait to get rid of your stuff.
Confession #3280
I confess that I really want a child. Not just any child, your child. One that you can raise with its (though I really think it would be a boy, named James or Jeremiah) mother in a loving environment without fear of me leaving. One that you can see every day without worrying about not being able to afford keeping her. I want to make up for all the hard times you had with your ex-wife while trying to raise your daughter. She is a very special person but I want to see a child with your features and mine. You say you are too old for that and I should find someone else if I want a child. I can't leave you for that because just any child won't do. I scare myself because I am also supposed to be in charge of the birth control. Would you even notice if I stopped? I am terrified of getting pregnant though because we decided when we got together that if I did, we would have an abortion. And all this confusion and fear is making me despise sex. I know you would freak out if I ever whispered to you that I want to have your baby but I scream it in my head any time we orgasm together. I don't know why it gets me off but it does. I doubt I can ever tell you because you wouldn't want to see me cry about it and know that you would have to tell me no. I am too selfish to be a good mother anyways...
It's been over a year since you left me. I survived you.
Confession #3272
I need you to stop fighting so much with our son. He is only eight years old, you are an adult. Grow up and stop acting like an asshole. Stop thinking you can be an authoritarian father that has his every command instantly done. You are not that guy, he is not that kid, that is not our family. Just stop that shit and learn to communicate. Our son is going to grow up and move as far away from you as he can get and I will miss him so much and always feel irritated with you for driving him away, so stop this crap before that happens.
Confession #3273
I love my mom in spite of her drinking and horrendous taste in boyfriends. Thank you for being the buffer when I was going out of my mind, for holding me when I cried myself to sleep Christmas Eve, and for understanding why I am the way I am.
Confession #3274
I hate your son and I hate his girlfriend and I hate that they live with us and do nothing and pay no rent! In case you haven’t noticed, I stopped cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom for the last three weeks to see if either of those lazy fuckers would actually get disgusted enough to do something about it. I am wondering what threshold for grossness they have, because that toilet is getting REALLY bad (this is why I poop at work)
I hate that you won’t tell him to grow the fuck up and take some REAL responsibility for his life! I love you more than anything, but you are not doing him any favors by rescuing him every time he screws up, and yes I love the grandbaby, but you gotta admit, that knocking up the ‘booty call’ that snuck in and out of our house when we were asleep in the middle of the night was a HUGE mistake!
Confession #3275
To my work husband:
We went to college together, we work for the same company, and I enjoy your friendship. But that's all I want from you. I like when we go out for a drink after work, talk smack about our boss and our customers, and then go to our own homes. I do not like when you have a few drinks too many and try to kiss me at the bar. And I realize that once upon a time we got wasted and slept together, but that's all it was: drunk sex. It was one thing in college when everyone was sleeping with everyone within our group of friends, but you're married now. The fact that you have that little regard for your wife doesn't make me want a deeper relationship with you, even if you drunkenly say you only married her because she was pregnant and would have married me otherwise. You are more supportive and generous with your friends and co-workers than you are with your wife. In your marriage you are a common, cheating bastard and a horrible husband. I have no idea why there is such a disconnect in your otherwise amazing personality.
Also, I am now dating someone and even if you're willing to betray your wife by sleeping with me, I am not willing to betray this man. It was twisted enough when I was single, but I'm not dragging in an innocent bystander; especially one who I can tell by his actions genuinely likes and cares about me. You've proven many times that you are a good friend to me, but the drunken "I love you" thing must stop. You know why your wife is a crazy bitch about you calling me? Because she can tell something isn't quite right there. She's right to feel mad and insecure. I wish she knew it was you pursuing me though; she thinks it's the other way around and it's clearly because that's what you told her. So when I get phone calls from her cussing me out, I don't react, I just hang up. Because she's not wrong, but she's also horribly misinformed. I 100% believe that you care about me and want to be friends forever, because you've put up with a lot of bullshit from me and if we didn't care about each other we wouldn't still be talking. But if you or your wife do anything to threaten my new relationship I have no problem never speaking to you again. You made your choice to get married even though you've never said anything positive about her the entire time I've known you. I believe you do love me though and now it's time to prove it by allowing me to be happy.
And by the way, I know you think you're amazing in bed. I never wanted to hurt your ego like that, but you're awful. I give you points for effort, at least you wanted to get me off, but you could never quite manage it.
Your work wife
Confession #3276
You treat we so well. You are patient, you put up with my passive aggressiveness, you forgive my low libido, you do the laundry, cooking, housework. You work full time, yet when I am too tired, too depressed, too whatever, you always pick up the slack without asking anything in return. You gave up your own interests to take care of my kids while I got an advanced degree, and then when my jobs hours took me out of the household. My kids were brats, they drove me crazy, and I know they drove you crazy, yet you persevered, you tried to teach them and show them right from wrong. And your kids did the same thing; they silenty tolerated my kids bullshit, they thrived while mine just didn't get it, and you never compared them, you just kept teaching and encouraging, all to no avail. Gosh I am such a brat! I am so afraid of losing you, I know I should get off my ass, I just don't know how and you haven't forced me to. I know you believe in free will and personal responsibility, that's why I expect you to finally say you've had enough, that you're leaving. Yet when my self esteem is at its lowest and I know I've disappointed you for the umpteenth time, and I look at your kind, handsome face and 50 year old, still perfect physique and worry about all the women who'd give their right arm for a man like you, you take me in your arms and tell me how much you love me, how beautiful you think I am, and how you'll never want a day to go by without me being your wife! What is wrong with me?
Confession #3277
Dearest husband
I hate how selfish you are. I hate how all you ever want is a blow or hand job I hate how it makes me feel knowing I'm not worth sex. Knowing you can say your too tired for sex but never too tired for a blow job. I hate how nasty you make me feel. How blood is the worst thing in the world. I don't get how the tail end of a period is gross. You hop up the second we are done to wipe off even when I'm not bleeding. I hate how you act as if sex with a condom is the worst thing ever. I'm suppose to put up with sperm but you can't put up with blood. Fucker. I hate how you can turn me Down for sex and I can catch you jerking off to your phone the next morning. Hate how stupid you make me feel and how alone I am because you moved me away from every one I knew to one of the biggest shit holes in America. I hate how you blame me for being depressed in such a shithole. I hate you mom. I hate how much of a kiss ass she is. How she waits hand and foot on you and her precious boyfriend. Like they aren't adults. I hate how she tries to show me up . I hate how she still talks to your ex girlfriend and wants to hang out with her. I frickin hate the fact your texting each other all the damn time you don't have the right to know every aspect of our marriage even our sex life and btw I don't want to fucking hear about yours. Your boyfriend is a weirdo. I dont trust him around my kids. And I don't trust you either. Because as soon as I turn my back you give them something they don't need or a dr said they can't have. Which you think your smarter than the dr. Don't tell me what to do for my children, you had your fucking chance. Stop bitching about your job. All jobs suck and the girls at work hate you because your a fake bitch. Your old so stop trying to act young. I told you I don't want your opinion so shut up. No one else has the balls to say it. I day dream about punching the shit out of you. I know you wanted him to marry the other bitch. I hate that if I have a bad day I'm not allowed to say it. I really hate porn. I feel it's an excuse to face problems. I hate your stupid burro games. Technology is ruining us. You get off to your phone computer or tv hang out with the boys in call of duty I never get mine. I lie about getting off on the rare occasions we have sex. I think your just too lazy to watch porn I feel like a chore rather than your lover. Your father and step mom are drunks and prob going to die young. Your family needs to grow up. I hate how angry you get with the kids. How everything is suppose to be perfect how you demand I go to the gym. How I have to or I feel like shit because you look at me like im nasty. I had your kids sorry I gained weight sorry I got depressed because your family are jackasses and I miss mine.
Confession #3278
I lost my true love 16 yrs ago, he was my first love and the first person I ever slept with. We recently got back in touch. I am married but I would give almost anything to be in his strong black arms again. I made the mistake of marrying a white man.. I fully plan to be with this man again one way or another. I wish we would of found each other again sooner. Sorry for those I/we hurt but she's gonna move aside as is my current husband.. babe i love you. You know who you are and i will be back by your side forever one of these days. I can't wait for those hands, those lips and that tongue to return to my body.... You do things to me no other man ever could.. he does things to my body that i am certain no other woman has felt.. i need him, i want him and one day I WILL HAVE HIM AND HIS LAST NAME! Not to mention feel him inside me...
Confession #3279
I hate your stuff. I hate:
-- The picture of stallions, woodburned onto a slab of plywood.
-- The clock made out of a redwood burl with two different styles of numerals, one style surrounded by shiny glue because whoever stuck on that second style to replace the original ones that fell off was kind of incompetent.
-- The two-foot-by-three-foot picture of a ramshackle building by disused railroad tracks, with real wires representing the telephone wires and aluminum foil representing the windows in the building and real rocks glued on to represent the rocks.
-- The flip-numeral clock radio from the seventies that makes grumbling noises every goddamn time the numerals flip.
When you die I will miss you, but I cannot wait to get rid of your stuff.
Confession #3280
I confess that I really want a child. Not just any child, your child. One that you can raise with its (though I really think it would be a boy, named James or Jeremiah) mother in a loving environment without fear of me leaving. One that you can see every day without worrying about not being able to afford keeping her. I want to make up for all the hard times you had with your ex-wife while trying to raise your daughter. She is a very special person but I want to see a child with your features and mine. You say you are too old for that and I should find someone else if I want a child. I can't leave you for that because just any child won't do. I scare myself because I am also supposed to be in charge of the birth control. Would you even notice if I stopped? I am terrified of getting pregnant though because we decided when we got together that if I did, we would have an abortion. And all this confusion and fear is making me despise sex. I know you would freak out if I ever whispered to you that I want to have your baby but I scream it in my head any time we orgasm together. I don't know why it gets me off but it does. I doubt I can ever tell you because you wouldn't want to see me cry about it and know that you would have to tell me no. I am too selfish to be a good mother anyways...
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
True Wife Confessions 48 Hours
Confession #471
You know how the dog begs at the table? And we both agreed that the begging
must stop? And you said you would train him, but I couldn't sneak food to
him behind your back because you didn't want to be the bad cop to my good
cop? Yeah, I feed him all the time behind your back. He totally loves me
more now. Sorry.
Confession #472
Thank you for telling me that I'm "hot" when I express self-doubt.
Thank you for telling me that I'm hot when I wear my glasses.
Thanks, especially, for telling me that I'm hot "on the inside," and that
that's what matters to you most.
Confession #473
If you scratch your back with my good knives again I will scream! It's gross.
Confession #474
Dear ex:
Does your current wife know that you were calling me while you two were
dating? Do you remember saying "But it's just not as good?" A year later
and you were married. Doesn't it strike her (and you) as peculiar that
there are so many similarities between her and I? (I won't mention them
here, because I'd feel terrible if she ever came across it -- they're
specific and you probably remember the incidents I'm talking about.) I feel
so damn bad for her, and I really keep hoping that it's working out for you
two, and that you've learned to be kinder. I'm not all that, and I'm not
trying to set myself up as some paragon... it just seems very strange. I
bump into you guys frequently, and I always wonder, and I find myself hoping
that she's happy....
Confession #475
I am sad and angry beyond words that your pot-smoking never stopped in all the years we've been married. We've had so many fights about it I've stopped counting. Your reasoning and casual attitude about it steps way over the boundry lines of what I have ever thought was ok. I compromised my own morals because I love you so much. I hate myself for it....and I'm resentful to you because of it.
Mostly
because
our
son
starting
smoking
it
too.
Confession # 476
I don't love you anymore. I know when we had our "heart to heart" a few weeks ago that I told you I was okay and I'm better, but I'm not, my feelings haven't changed at all. I want to be out of this marriage. You are a good father and we have fun together and we still laugh a lot, but that's not enough for me, I'm just not in love with you. I feel like I'm leaving for the wrong reasons sometimes, but at the same time I feel like I'm staying for the wrong reasons too. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life either. I don't think I'll ever have the life with you that I want and honestly I knew that from the very beginning. I don't think I am your equal and I really don't think you are happy with me either, but I don't know your reason for staying. When you told me a while back that you had more reasons to leave ME than for me to leave you, that pretty much sealed the deal for me. I know I have my faults too and I've done things that have hurt you, so I'm not putting all of the blame on you. I've just grown up and my heart has changed and I wish I could do this without hurting you or anyone else.
Confession #477
I hate you right now. If you offer to help, then help. Do it without the grudging silence and short answers. You make it really hard to appreciate what you do around here when you suck all of the joy out of the house. You are no fun whatsoever anymore. I am screaming inside at the silence. Like I said, I hate you right now, in spite of the fact that I really do love you.
Confession #478
I am so thankful that you decided to get off your lazy, alcoholic ass and abandon the kids and I two months ago. Life hasn't been this good in 5 years, thanks to you. You spent those years emotionally abusing me because you made the decision to move with me, 1200 miles away from your emotionally unstable family. Stop blaming everyone else and treating everyone else like crap for your own decisions. When will you ever grow up? You cheated on me with a fat slob from your job, and I decided to bite the bullet and stay in the relationship. I tried for a year to work on things with you. Little did I know you were busy being a closet alcoholic. I found your liquor bottles hidden all over the house, and your urine filled beer bottles under your desk. You lazy pig. You think that moving back with your parents is going to change you? Change of scenery maybe, but you'll never change. And don't threaten me one more time to steal the kids from me because I will have your stupid ass in jail before you can say "you're an evil bitch" one last time. You said that you only stayed with me so that you could be around the kids you supposedly love so much. So, why haven't you called them for weeks? They are 4 years old, you moron. They hurt. I hope the whore you are sleeping with that works for your father gives you some sort of nasty disease that makes your pathetic-excuse-for-a-genitalia turn black and fall off in your hand as you masterbate in the shower. PIG.
Confession #479
For gods sake. You are a mechanic by trade. Don't you think that you could change the oil in my car without me nagging you to do it for 6 weeks or an extra 1000 miles? Either that or show me how to do it. I would do it if you would just show me how. And when you DO wait that extra 1000 miles, don't bitch at me that it is supposed to be done every 3000. I have been telling you that it needed be done for over a MONTH now. I would go to Jiffy Lube, but the last time I gave up on you doing the oil change and went there you FREAKED OUT!
Confession #480
The closest I ever came to commiting violence against another person was
with you.
You used to say that "make-up sex is the best," and that time we "made up"
after I was sure you cheated on me... I was on top, and I looked down at
your closed eyes and ecstatic expression, and I had an instant vision of
slapping you across the face as hard as I possibly could while fucking you.
The contrast of those two actions, real and imaginary, scared me so badly.
It was very powerful, and I hope I never feel that way about anyone again in
my life.
I'm so glad I was able to walk away for good.
You know how the dog begs at the table? And we both agreed that the begging
must stop? And you said you would train him, but I couldn't sneak food to
him behind your back because you didn't want to be the bad cop to my good
cop? Yeah, I feed him all the time behind your back. He totally loves me
more now. Sorry.
Confession #472
Thank you for telling me that I'm "hot" when I express self-doubt.
Thank you for telling me that I'm hot when I wear my glasses.
Thanks, especially, for telling me that I'm hot "on the inside," and that
that's what matters to you most.
Confession #473
If you scratch your back with my good knives again I will scream! It's gross.
Confession #474
Dear ex:
Does your current wife know that you were calling me while you two were
dating? Do you remember saying "But it's just not as good?" A year later
and you were married. Doesn't it strike her (and you) as peculiar that
there are so many similarities between her and I? (I won't mention them
here, because I'd feel terrible if she ever came across it -- they're
specific and you probably remember the incidents I'm talking about.) I feel
so damn bad for her, and I really keep hoping that it's working out for you
two, and that you've learned to be kinder. I'm not all that, and I'm not
trying to set myself up as some paragon... it just seems very strange. I
bump into you guys frequently, and I always wonder, and I find myself hoping
that she's happy....
Confession #475
I am sad and angry beyond words that your pot-smoking never stopped in all the years we've been married. We've had so many fights about it I've stopped counting. Your reasoning and casual attitude about it steps way over the boundry lines of what I have ever thought was ok. I compromised my own morals because I love you so much. I hate myself for it....and I'm resentful to you because of it.
Mostly
because
our
son
starting
smoking
it
too.
Confession # 476
I don't love you anymore. I know when we had our "heart to heart" a few weeks ago that I told you I was okay and I'm better, but I'm not, my feelings haven't changed at all. I want to be out of this marriage. You are a good father and we have fun together and we still laugh a lot, but that's not enough for me, I'm just not in love with you. I feel like I'm leaving for the wrong reasons sometimes, but at the same time I feel like I'm staying for the wrong reasons too. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life either. I don't think I'll ever have the life with you that I want and honestly I knew that from the very beginning. I don't think I am your equal and I really don't think you are happy with me either, but I don't know your reason for staying. When you told me a while back that you had more reasons to leave ME than for me to leave you, that pretty much sealed the deal for me. I know I have my faults too and I've done things that have hurt you, so I'm not putting all of the blame on you. I've just grown up and my heart has changed and I wish I could do this without hurting you or anyone else.
Confession #477
I hate you right now. If you offer to help, then help. Do it without the grudging silence and short answers. You make it really hard to appreciate what you do around here when you suck all of the joy out of the house. You are no fun whatsoever anymore. I am screaming inside at the silence. Like I said, I hate you right now, in spite of the fact that I really do love you.
Confession #478
I am so thankful that you decided to get off your lazy, alcoholic ass and abandon the kids and I two months ago. Life hasn't been this good in 5 years, thanks to you. You spent those years emotionally abusing me because you made the decision to move with me, 1200 miles away from your emotionally unstable family. Stop blaming everyone else and treating everyone else like crap for your own decisions. When will you ever grow up? You cheated on me with a fat slob from your job, and I decided to bite the bullet and stay in the relationship. I tried for a year to work on things with you. Little did I know you were busy being a closet alcoholic. I found your liquor bottles hidden all over the house, and your urine filled beer bottles under your desk. You lazy pig. You think that moving back with your parents is going to change you? Change of scenery maybe, but you'll never change. And don't threaten me one more time to steal the kids from me because I will have your stupid ass in jail before you can say "you're an evil bitch" one last time. You said that you only stayed with me so that you could be around the kids you supposedly love so much. So, why haven't you called them for weeks? They are 4 years old, you moron. They hurt. I hope the whore you are sleeping with that works for your father gives you some sort of nasty disease that makes your pathetic-excuse-for-a-genitalia turn black and fall off in your hand as you masterbate in the shower. PIG.
Confession #479
For gods sake. You are a mechanic by trade. Don't you think that you could change the oil in my car without me nagging you to do it for 6 weeks or an extra 1000 miles? Either that or show me how to do it. I would do it if you would just show me how. And when you DO wait that extra 1000 miles, don't bitch at me that it is supposed to be done every 3000. I have been telling you that it needed be done for over a MONTH now. I would go to Jiffy Lube, but the last time I gave up on you doing the oil change and went there you FREAKED OUT!
Confession #480
The closest I ever came to commiting violence against another person was
with you.
You used to say that "make-up sex is the best," and that time we "made up"
after I was sure you cheated on me... I was on top, and I looked down at
your closed eyes and ecstatic expression, and I had an instant vision of
slapping you across the face as hard as I possibly could while fucking you.
The contrast of those two actions, real and imaginary, scared me so badly.
It was very powerful, and I hope I never feel that way about anyone again in
my life.
I'm so glad I was able to walk away for good.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
True Wife Confession 47 society
Confession #461
n the month and a half since we've moved, you have done the laundry once and only because I told you that you weren't getting any until you did. You did one load and left the second in the washer for over a week, a fact which I discovered this morning. So, from now on, I'm only doing my laundry.
I dislike how I have to harass you to do chores. Yes, I know you'll get to them eventually but it shouldn't take a week to wash the dishes!
One of the reasons I am so nervous about the idea of having children with you in the future is because right now, even though we only have one pet, a cat, you never ever hear her whine at night. So it's only me who ever gets up to check on her and see why she is being so annoying. If we have a baby and I am the only one who ever gets up to check on it, I swear to god I will leave you. I cannot be in a relationship where the responsibilities of child-rearing are not shared equally.
Confession #462
You're a fucker. I hate it that you say because our daughter is a lesbian that she will not be welcome in our house when she is "grown up". How do you think that will make her feel?? Do you honestly think I would not make our daughter feel welcome?! FUCKER! Remember this darling husband, YOU can be replaced, she cannot. This is my house too. Did I mention you were a fucker?
Confession #463
Tonight, when I was bent over, picking up our child's toys, and you leaned in and touched my crotch, I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of you. I'm on the rag. Don't you get it? DON'T TOUCH MY CROTCH WHEN I AM BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG. A more appropriate gesture would have been to hand me the jar of peanut butter and a large chocolate bar. Had you done that instead, you might have gotten a blow job later-instead, you get nothing. One day you might learn-but the odds aren't good.
Asking me why my period is taking so long to get over with is just dumb. You're not the one bleeding like the aforementioned stuck pig, nor do you have a sensation in your stomach much like that of an elephant sitting on your gut. You have no right to ask, because even if I wasn't on the rag, I still would not want to have sex with you tonight.
Confession # 464
When you choose to stay up until 1am watching your wrestling shit, do NOT whine and complain and be crabby to me in the morning because you're tired and have to go to work. You were stupid. Learn from your mistakes.
When I come up with a plan, you tell me it's wrong and dumb. So we do things your way. It falls apart. So you suggest the VERY method I had suggested in the first place and declare it your own idea. And I applaud you and sing your praises to your face because you are either too stupid to remember it was my idea first, or too embarrassed to admit it. So I let you go on, thinking you are the MAN when in reality I'm the brains of this operation.
Confession #465
If it weren't for me you would go to work buck naked every single day. And you would starve while you were there. And you'd walk home because you can't remember to put gas in the car or get the oil changed.
I do appreciate you taking me to a Japanese restaurant for our anniversary. I know how much you hate Asian cuisine. You even tried sushi for the first time. I know you hated most of the meal but it means so much to me that you smiled and choked down most of what was on your plate in an attempt to make my day. That was really sweet.
Confession #466
Please do not suggest that I go have some 'me time'. You only suggest this when you are gearing up for a night of playing cards with the guys and are trying to avoid the guilt trip you lay all on yourself. GO. Have fun. I don't care. I will gladly stay home, put our child to bed, and order Chinese food, since I can never get it because you hate it so much.
On my days off, as you leave for work, don't bother suggesting I 'take it easy' and try to get some rest while our daughter is at school. I know you are going to call me 10 minutes later to ask me something stupid. I know you are going to call 5 more time before lunch to ask me more dumb questions. So I just do stuff around the house because even when you're not home, I can't get a moment's peace.
Confession #467
I hate your family. Your sister is a bitch. Your mom is too needy and your father is a perv.
Confession #468
i wish just one time you would tell me I'm sexy. You tell me I look pretty.
or that this outfit looks good on me. Never once have you told me I'm sexy.
I hate that many other men tell me this all the time. And all it makes me do
is wish that it was YOU telling me that. I think you're sexy. All the time.
and I know you don't think I'm sexy. It breaks my heart. It has for years.
Confession #469
I know fabric softener makes your skin itchy. Sometimes, I use it anyway. At
first, I thought the allergy was all in your head. But interestingly enough,
you're right – fabric softener DOES make your skin itch. Every time I use
it, you complain a few days later about your skin being dry and itchy. I
feel guilty, but I really love how fluffy the towels are when I use
softener.
Confession #470
I'm so glad that after a year, you have finally made a friend at work. I'm
trying desperately not to freak out that the friend is a woman. I know she's
happily married. I know her life revolves around her newborn. I know you're
not interested in her at all. I still freak out about it a little.
n the month and a half since we've moved, you have done the laundry once and only because I told you that you weren't getting any until you did. You did one load and left the second in the washer for over a week, a fact which I discovered this morning. So, from now on, I'm only doing my laundry.
I dislike how I have to harass you to do chores. Yes, I know you'll get to them eventually but it shouldn't take a week to wash the dishes!
One of the reasons I am so nervous about the idea of having children with you in the future is because right now, even though we only have one pet, a cat, you never ever hear her whine at night. So it's only me who ever gets up to check on her and see why she is being so annoying. If we have a baby and I am the only one who ever gets up to check on it, I swear to god I will leave you. I cannot be in a relationship where the responsibilities of child-rearing are not shared equally.
Confession #462
You're a fucker. I hate it that you say because our daughter is a lesbian that she will not be welcome in our house when she is "grown up". How do you think that will make her feel?? Do you honestly think I would not make our daughter feel welcome?! FUCKER! Remember this darling husband, YOU can be replaced, she cannot. This is my house too. Did I mention you were a fucker?
Confession #463
Tonight, when I was bent over, picking up our child's toys, and you leaned in and touched my crotch, I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of you. I'm on the rag. Don't you get it? DON'T TOUCH MY CROTCH WHEN I AM BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG. A more appropriate gesture would have been to hand me the jar of peanut butter and a large chocolate bar. Had you done that instead, you might have gotten a blow job later-instead, you get nothing. One day you might learn-but the odds aren't good.
Asking me why my period is taking so long to get over with is just dumb. You're not the one bleeding like the aforementioned stuck pig, nor do you have a sensation in your stomach much like that of an elephant sitting on your gut. You have no right to ask, because even if I wasn't on the rag, I still would not want to have sex with you tonight.
Confession # 464
When you choose to stay up until 1am watching your wrestling shit, do NOT whine and complain and be crabby to me in the morning because you're tired and have to go to work. You were stupid. Learn from your mistakes.
When I come up with a plan, you tell me it's wrong and dumb. So we do things your way. It falls apart. So you suggest the VERY method I had suggested in the first place and declare it your own idea. And I applaud you and sing your praises to your face because you are either too stupid to remember it was my idea first, or too embarrassed to admit it. So I let you go on, thinking you are the MAN when in reality I'm the brains of this operation.
Confession #465
If it weren't for me you would go to work buck naked every single day. And you would starve while you were there. And you'd walk home because you can't remember to put gas in the car or get the oil changed.
I do appreciate you taking me to a Japanese restaurant for our anniversary. I know how much you hate Asian cuisine. You even tried sushi for the first time. I know you hated most of the meal but it means so much to me that you smiled and choked down most of what was on your plate in an attempt to make my day. That was really sweet.
Confession #466
Please do not suggest that I go have some 'me time'. You only suggest this when you are gearing up for a night of playing cards with the guys and are trying to avoid the guilt trip you lay all on yourself. GO. Have fun. I don't care. I will gladly stay home, put our child to bed, and order Chinese food, since I can never get it because you hate it so much.
On my days off, as you leave for work, don't bother suggesting I 'take it easy' and try to get some rest while our daughter is at school. I know you are going to call me 10 minutes later to ask me something stupid. I know you are going to call 5 more time before lunch to ask me more dumb questions. So I just do stuff around the house because even when you're not home, I can't get a moment's peace.
Confession #467
I hate your family. Your sister is a bitch. Your mom is too needy and your father is a perv.
Confession #468
i wish just one time you would tell me I'm sexy. You tell me I look pretty.
or that this outfit looks good on me. Never once have you told me I'm sexy.
I hate that many other men tell me this all the time. And all it makes me do
is wish that it was YOU telling me that. I think you're sexy. All the time.
and I know you don't think I'm sexy. It breaks my heart. It has for years.
Confession #469
I know fabric softener makes your skin itchy. Sometimes, I use it anyway. At
first, I thought the allergy was all in your head. But interestingly enough,
you're right – fabric softener DOES make your skin itch. Every time I use
it, you complain a few days later about your skin being dry and itchy. I
feel guilty, but I really love how fluffy the towels are when I use
softener.
Confession #470
I'm so glad that after a year, you have finally made a friend at work. I'm
trying desperately not to freak out that the friend is a woman. I know she's
happily married. I know her life revolves around her newborn. I know you're
not interested in her at all. I still freak out about it a little.
Monday, January 02, 2012
True Wife Confessions 46 chromosomes
Confession #451
I'm tired of feeling like the "assumed parent". Just because I stay at home with our daughter doesn't mean that I do nothing all day. When you come home from work, I am still the one that has to feed her, bathe her, and put her to bed. God forbid you actually step in and DO SOMETHING without me having to beg you. I know you love her and I'm glad you are able to support us, but please just give me a break from time to time. Being a stay-at-home-mom is a job too, you know.
Confession #452
Darling, even though you frequently forget to do what I ask you to do, so
that I have to nag, and even though you don't always follow through on your
promises (still no driver's license, eh?), the past three weeks have
reminded me why I love you. You were so wonderful throughout my dear
friend's sickness and death, you were so amazing with everything about
buying the new house. You have held me close when I was down and held my
hand through all the fear and worries. You do so much every day to make me
happy, and you are a wonderful man. I missed you so much while you were
gone and it made me so happy to be with you again. I love you so much, and
I know that I don't always appreciate you like I should - I'll try harder.
Confession #453
Ok- I might NOT be your wife (thank GOODNESS for that!), but I am your one and ONLY employee and I see you EVERYDAY so it's kinda like I'm sickly married to you. When you come downstairs CHEWING in my ear, breathing over me, just STARING at me on HOLD with an insurance company, it IRRITATES me and I want to SLAP you. The fact that I'm 24 years old with a bachelors degree and will have my masters in DEC. and I've been here for SIX years AND I run your business AND if I left you couldnt even train anyone because you dont know what youre doing AND you pay me $10 an HOUR and you EXPECT me to make phone calls to insurance companys for money so YOU can be richer? YEA OK....I "pretend" I am making calls because I can hear when you're coming down the stairs so I just hit redial and pretend I am on "hold" so you can stare at me. You want to be CHEAP with me? I'll be CHEAP with you -- I feel REALLY lucky that I am NOT your wife, although she pisses me the fuck off too with her fucking nose in the air like shes Princess Diana...I can't wait to leave next month...oh, and I wrote this email WHILE I am on you're time..I AM a good worker but not when you screw me!
Confession #454
I just really want my own wife. Not for the sex, although that could probably be fun. I want to come home to a clean house. I want the laundry to be done and folded. I want the dishes to magically clear off the table and that the kitchen is clean at night. Coffee done at night, sheets changed, clothes picked up...
I love you dear husband, but why the fuck can't you clean up after yourself? Once a month just because cause you thought I needed the help does.not.cut.it. In fact, it pisses me off and you wonder why I act so ugly when you say it so sweetly. AUGH. I can almost handle cleaning up after the kids by myself, but damn, man, can you not wipe your bathroom floor to remove the nastiness that you put there?
I work - yes my job is easy and pays really well, but I also do 90% of the childcare and 90% of the cooking and cleaning. You cutting the grass doesn't compare. Where is my maid? And wait, why is the wife the defacto maid? Now I'm completely pissed off!
Confession #455
I do not feel worthy to be your wife. We have everything we need and want.
You treat me like a queen. You are a fabulous husband and father I couldnt
ask for more. After work, you come down and see the kids, clean up the
kitchen, living room, and still wash the dishes after dinner. I often feel
frustrated as I am not up to your standards of what a wife should be or do.
I am trying to get better with cleaning things up the way you would want
them to be done. Please be patient with me, I am trying. I love you.
Confession #456
You just don't get it. Even after two decades together.
When I'm mad, upset, ranting out of control, do NOT look at me like I'm some bitch from hell and never walk away. All you need to do is wrap me in your arms, hold me tight, kiss the top of my head and say "it'll be all right" or say nothing at all. I melt. My mood is instantly better. Don't underestimate the power of touch.
Confession #457
dear husband,
to me you are perfection. your walk, your smile, your eyes, your everything is perfection.
I just wish I wasnt so imperfect, then maybe, just maybe I could feel better about myself
and better about loving you
Confession #458
I swear. to. god. if you piss on the floor by the toilet one more time I'm going to scream! Why is it so hard for you to hit the toilet? I understand that at night it is hard to see where you are aiming but doesn't piss hitting water and piss hitting tile sound different? I call bullshit when you say you don't know when you are doing it. Have some common fucking courtesy to WIPE IT UP when you are done. GOD!
Confession #459
I love you more than life itself. Everyday I am thankful that you have stuck by me through thick and thin. But one day, I fear you'll see through me and you'll walk out the door. And that will be the day that I die. Until then, I am going to hold on as tight as I can.
Confession #460
You trust me too much. You don't have a problem with me going out without
you or staying out late with my guy friends. You don't mind the very deep
friendship that I have with my closest male friend. You never begrudge me a
night out and never seem to get jealous. It would be so easy for me to have
an affair. And I have thought about it on more than one occasion. But I
never do. I expect that it is your undying trust that keeps me trustworthy.
I'm tired of feeling like the "assumed parent". Just because I stay at home with our daughter doesn't mean that I do nothing all day. When you come home from work, I am still the one that has to feed her, bathe her, and put her to bed. God forbid you actually step in and DO SOMETHING without me having to beg you. I know you love her and I'm glad you are able to support us, but please just give me a break from time to time. Being a stay-at-home-mom is a job too, you know.
Confession #452
Darling, even though you frequently forget to do what I ask you to do, so
that I have to nag, and even though you don't always follow through on your
promises (still no driver's license, eh?), the past three weeks have
reminded me why I love you. You were so wonderful throughout my dear
friend's sickness and death, you were so amazing with everything about
buying the new house. You have held me close when I was down and held my
hand through all the fear and worries. You do so much every day to make me
happy, and you are a wonderful man. I missed you so much while you were
gone and it made me so happy to be with you again. I love you so much, and
I know that I don't always appreciate you like I should - I'll try harder.
Confession #453
Ok- I might NOT be your wife (thank GOODNESS for that!), but I am your one and ONLY employee and I see you EVERYDAY so it's kinda like I'm sickly married to you. When you come downstairs CHEWING in my ear, breathing over me, just STARING at me on HOLD with an insurance company, it IRRITATES me and I want to SLAP you. The fact that I'm 24 years old with a bachelors degree and will have my masters in DEC. and I've been here for SIX years AND I run your business AND if I left you couldnt even train anyone because you dont know what youre doing AND you pay me $10 an HOUR and you EXPECT me to make phone calls to insurance companys for money so YOU can be richer? YEA OK....I "pretend" I am making calls because I can hear when you're coming down the stairs so I just hit redial and pretend I am on "hold" so you can stare at me. You want to be CHEAP with me? I'll be CHEAP with you -- I feel REALLY lucky that I am NOT your wife, although she pisses me the fuck off too with her fucking nose in the air like shes Princess Diana...I can't wait to leave next month...oh, and I wrote this email WHILE I am on you're time..I AM a good worker but not when you screw me!
Confession #454
I just really want my own wife. Not for the sex, although that could probably be fun. I want to come home to a clean house. I want the laundry to be done and folded. I want the dishes to magically clear off the table and that the kitchen is clean at night. Coffee done at night, sheets changed, clothes picked up...
I love you dear husband, but why the fuck can't you clean up after yourself? Once a month just because cause you thought I needed the help does.not.cut.it. In fact, it pisses me off and you wonder why I act so ugly when you say it so sweetly. AUGH. I can almost handle cleaning up after the kids by myself, but damn, man, can you not wipe your bathroom floor to remove the nastiness that you put there?
I work - yes my job is easy and pays really well, but I also do 90% of the childcare and 90% of the cooking and cleaning. You cutting the grass doesn't compare. Where is my maid? And wait, why is the wife the defacto maid? Now I'm completely pissed off!
Confession #455
I do not feel worthy to be your wife. We have everything we need and want.
You treat me like a queen. You are a fabulous husband and father I couldnt
ask for more. After work, you come down and see the kids, clean up the
kitchen, living room, and still wash the dishes after dinner. I often feel
frustrated as I am not up to your standards of what a wife should be or do.
I am trying to get better with cleaning things up the way you would want
them to be done. Please be patient with me, I am trying. I love you.
Confession #456
You just don't get it. Even after two decades together.
When I'm mad, upset, ranting out of control, do NOT look at me like I'm some bitch from hell and never walk away. All you need to do is wrap me in your arms, hold me tight, kiss the top of my head and say "it'll be all right" or say nothing at all. I melt. My mood is instantly better. Don't underestimate the power of touch.
Confession #457
dear husband,
to me you are perfection. your walk, your smile, your eyes, your everything is perfection.
I just wish I wasnt so imperfect, then maybe, just maybe I could feel better about myself
and better about loving you
Confession #458
I swear. to. god. if you piss on the floor by the toilet one more time I'm going to scream! Why is it so hard for you to hit the toilet? I understand that at night it is hard to see where you are aiming but doesn't piss hitting water and piss hitting tile sound different? I call bullshit when you say you don't know when you are doing it. Have some common fucking courtesy to WIPE IT UP when you are done. GOD!
Confession #459
I love you more than life itself. Everyday I am thankful that you have stuck by me through thick and thin. But one day, I fear you'll see through me and you'll walk out the door. And that will be the day that I die. Until then, I am going to hold on as tight as I can.
Confession #460
You trust me too much. You don't have a problem with me going out without
you or staying out late with my guy friends. You don't mind the very deep
friendship that I have with my closest male friend. You never begrudge me a
night out and never seem to get jealous. It would be so easy for me to have
an affair. And I have thought about it on more than one occasion. But I
never do. I expect that it is your undying trust that keeps me trustworthy.
Monday, December 12, 2011
True Wife Confessions 326 - Constantine's really bad year
Confession #3261
I'm seeing someone. Someone who calls me beautiful. Someone who likes to dance. Someone who will buy me flowers and birthday presents and anniversary presents. Someone who will take me out and talk to me instead of sitting there and expecting me to carry the entire conversation.
I hate that your mom still babies you. I hate that we're in law school and your parents are constantly, "Have children, I want grand-children, Don't worry we'll take care of them while your in school"
No! I don't want to have children! Is that such a big deal?? And if I do have children, it will be when I'm good and ready! Not when I spend 14 hours a day reading/studying/working.
We were married too young. I adore you. But…I am no longer in love with you. I am no longer 19 and wide-eyed. Still brimming with hope, but wiser.
I want a divorce.
Confession #3262
When I sent the link to your active dating site profile to your fiancé, it wasn't because I want to ruin your life. I wanted to save someone else from making the same mistakes I did before it was too late.
Nobody believes you when you say that I created the profile to try to win you back. They are just too polite to say it to your face.
Confession #3263
I am sorry.
I am sorry that because of me you have lost one of your oldest friends. I know he sat on his issues with my big mouth for 7 years and refused to talk to you about it until now, but it was still my big mouth that caused that rift. You think I shouldn't apologize and I know the fault falls on you as well for telling me everything, but I should of been more respectful. I hope that you can salvage the friendship, I honestly do and I hope he understands now how truly sorry I am as well.
Confession #3264
I always had this feeling that you were only attracted to me for my looks. You always denied it. But two days ago I asked you to name one thing that you loved about me that wasn't physical...and you couldn't answer. Instead, you turned the question around to me. I answered and then you twisted my words and gave me pretty much the exact same answer. Now I know how you really feel...
Confession #3265
We have only been married a year n half but have to say its been my unhappiest. When will u grow a set of balls and stand up to your bitch of a mum!
You stand and let her belittle me all the time and never say a word! The women is a complete and utter control freak, you let her dictate our lives and never give a thought to how it's affecting me and your son.
You will never cut the apron strings and you think you can treat me like ur mum.i am not here to pick up, clean , tidy up after you I do that enough with our 2 year old!
For the last 10 months I have been goin with another man something that u will never b! He has made me realise so much n made me feel loved beyond belief.
After Christmas we will b leaving u...u can't say I didn't try with u!
Your soon to be ex wife
Confession #3266
I hate my husband's family so much. Every last one of them minus the innocent children. But even with the children I have no desire to know them because of how much I hate their parents. I want my children to grow up not knowing anyone from that side of the family. My husband knows all this. That is not a secret. He knows I even will do everything in my power to keep him and my kids away from them from promises of sex to scheduling other things so we can't see his family to actively trying to estrange every member of his family by starting fights with them. My hatred for them was earned by their bad behavior towards me and my kids.
The part he does not know is that if anything ever happened to him I would make sure that his family never saw me or my kids again. Ever. I would also keep them from even being able to attend the funeral or memorial service. I would make it private and not tell them when it is was and station security at the door to keep them out if they find out when it was. I would not even tell them he died. They would probably eventually find out, but I would not call them to tell them. I would move away and leave no forwarding address to his family. I would and will raise my kids to know all the bad things his family did to us. I don't talk about it to my husband because I fear he would make me promise to honor his dying wish and invite them to the memorial service or see the kids and I don't want to have to make a promise to him I would not keep. I also don't want him to get anything done legally to make it where they can see the kids or attend the memorial service. So I keep it to myself. He might suspect I would do something like this, but he also doesn't think about stuff like this either. I do. I think about it all the time. I don't want my husband to die, but if he did I would take such pleasure in getting my ultimate revenge on his family through his death. I would make them feel like the nothing they have always made me feel like.
Confession #3267
You just announced today that you will be spending this Christmas morning at church, instead of at home with your family. We have spent 25 years building family traditions for Christmas! This must be because this is the year I finally couldn't take the fake, plastic religion of the church we've attended for the last 22 years, and quit going. I think I gave it my best shot, but I am not, and never will be an evangelical. Sorry about that, but did you notice that I was entirely uninteresting to the whole church community until I quit going? And then we had pastors demanding to come over and "talk" to me, pastors creepily showing up at my work, people from church who've never spoken to me calling me up to ask me why I wasn't there? Incidentally, it was phone calls from many of the same people who told me all the time what a saint you are and how lucky I am to be married to you? That's just weird. And creepy. Enjoy spending time with them on Christmas. And when the kids and in-laws and your family ask where you are, I'm just going to tell them to talk to you about it. No more running interference for you. Church has always come first for you...you probably should have been the monk you said you wanted to be when we first met. And I should have been smart enough to run the other way from a 25 year old guy who says that kind of thing to a girl on a first date.
Confession #3268
I have loved you for the past 8 years of my life. I took you back after you broke my heart into a million pieces. You convinced me you were wrong and that we belonged together and that you would cherish and love me for the rest of our days. We said nothing short of murder, death or suicide would break us apart. Now after not quite 4 years of marriage this is all a lie and the heart your broke into million pieces is shattered again into two million pieces. You don’t believe in counseling – but divorce is no big deal apparently. Except it is, to me, a big deal. I’m devastated and so angry, I sob myself to sleep every night. And you? Well you just want me to shut up and get out the house already. 10 days from now I’ll be gone from your life forever and I hope someday you realize that you let go of the one person that loved you unconditionally and would have stayed with you till the earth stood still.
Confession #3269
I wish I could have looked into the future and seen that you were going to start flirting with alcoholism. I don't know how to stop it and I don't know how to accept that I can't stop it. I guess I have to start saving money so I can take the dog and get out if I need to.
Yeah. Okay. Right. I guess I better start tracking the bank accounts too, rather than just trusting you to take care of things because you're home all day and I'm working.
Goddammit if I'd stayed single I would still need to save money and track the bank accounts, but at least I wouldn't hear anyone saying hideous things to me. I wouldn't have to tell you that you cannot drive after drinking a bottle of wine. I am so depressed right now, thinking about how awful you get when you drink.
I like wine. I wish I could have wine without setting you off. I wish I didn't have to be perfect just to get through the day.
Confession #3270
For the guy at work who has such an enormous crush that he can barely talk to me:
Thank you. I like you, too. Please, please, please ask me to go get a coffee or dinner after work. I always try to get up the courage but I'm as nervous and shy as you. My answer would be yes though, with no hesitation, no reservations. I'm not proud or picky, I don't care if you take me to the 99 cent taco joint on the corner, I just want to get to know you. Men who like me have always been bold and confident, and they've always been out to use me, spend my money, and tear down my confidence. It's like they see a target; I'd resigned to be alone rather than let another confident man control my life. I can't tell you all that though, I don't want to be Emotional Baggage Girl; what a turn off. Despite my many bad experiences I am remarkably balanced, and I think I could ignore my fears if you were willing to make the first move. I've never had a bashful beau before, this is new to me and I love it. I'm so used to men who show no weakness, and I've learned that no weakness so often means no heart. I love seeing that your weakness is me. Every time you drop by my desk I smile for the rest of the day, sing to myself, and send my girlfriends crazy, giddy text messages. I know, I don't date people at work either. But I would make an exception, I think you are worth the risk. One of our co-workers told me that when he and you went out for a beer after work you couldn't stop talking about me, you had broken up with your girlfriend so you could be free to pursue me and now you are trying to get up your courage to ask me out. Do you know how that makes me feel? I'm humbled and thrilled that you would give up what you had for the chance to ask me out. And the fact that you would do it the proper way, rather than try to keep your options open... I'm speechless. I'm not used to men like you, who do the right thing even before they ask me out. I'm used to the ones who always do the wrong thing; you aren't even really in my life yet and you're already a cool breeze in the desert. And your curly hair and broad shoulders are so hot. I fantasize about hugging you, for God's sake. I wonder what it would be like to be held in your amazing arms. And since you don't button the top button I can see you have the perfect amount of chest hair; I hope you aren't one of those guys who shaves it off. It makes no difference to me, but maybe you should know our co-workers are starting to talk. It's impossible not to notice the tension, the nervous laughs and smiles and halting conversations. They think it's cute, but they wish you'd ask me out already. I wish that, too. I've learned my lesson about asking men out though; it's important to me that you ask me out, every time I've been forward with men I've gotten burned. One of our co-workers is scheming to get us together, and I greatly appreciate his efforts. Next time he asks you if you want to grab a beer after work don't be surprised if he wants to invite me, too.
The blonde girl across the office
I'm seeing someone. Someone who calls me beautiful. Someone who likes to dance. Someone who will buy me flowers and birthday presents and anniversary presents. Someone who will take me out and talk to me instead of sitting there and expecting me to carry the entire conversation.
I hate that your mom still babies you. I hate that we're in law school and your parents are constantly, "Have children, I want grand-children, Don't worry we'll take care of them while your in school"
No! I don't want to have children! Is that such a big deal?? And if I do have children, it will be when I'm good and ready! Not when I spend 14 hours a day reading/studying/working.
We were married too young. I adore you. But…I am no longer in love with you. I am no longer 19 and wide-eyed. Still brimming with hope, but wiser.
I want a divorce.
Confession #3262
When I sent the link to your active dating site profile to your fiancé, it wasn't because I want to ruin your life. I wanted to save someone else from making the same mistakes I did before it was too late.
Nobody believes you when you say that I created the profile to try to win you back. They are just too polite to say it to your face.
Confession #3263
I am sorry.
I am sorry that because of me you have lost one of your oldest friends. I know he sat on his issues with my big mouth for 7 years and refused to talk to you about it until now, but it was still my big mouth that caused that rift. You think I shouldn't apologize and I know the fault falls on you as well for telling me everything, but I should of been more respectful. I hope that you can salvage the friendship, I honestly do and I hope he understands now how truly sorry I am as well.
Confession #3264
I always had this feeling that you were only attracted to me for my looks. You always denied it. But two days ago I asked you to name one thing that you loved about me that wasn't physical...and you couldn't answer. Instead, you turned the question around to me. I answered and then you twisted my words and gave me pretty much the exact same answer. Now I know how you really feel...
Confession #3265
We have only been married a year n half but have to say its been my unhappiest. When will u grow a set of balls and stand up to your bitch of a mum!
You stand and let her belittle me all the time and never say a word! The women is a complete and utter control freak, you let her dictate our lives and never give a thought to how it's affecting me and your son.
You will never cut the apron strings and you think you can treat me like ur mum.i am not here to pick up, clean , tidy up after you I do that enough with our 2 year old!
For the last 10 months I have been goin with another man something that u will never b! He has made me realise so much n made me feel loved beyond belief.
After Christmas we will b leaving u...u can't say I didn't try with u!
Your soon to be ex wife
Confession #3266
I hate my husband's family so much. Every last one of them minus the innocent children. But even with the children I have no desire to know them because of how much I hate their parents. I want my children to grow up not knowing anyone from that side of the family. My husband knows all this. That is not a secret. He knows I even will do everything in my power to keep him and my kids away from them from promises of sex to scheduling other things so we can't see his family to actively trying to estrange every member of his family by starting fights with them. My hatred for them was earned by their bad behavior towards me and my kids.
The part he does not know is that if anything ever happened to him I would make sure that his family never saw me or my kids again. Ever. I would also keep them from even being able to attend the funeral or memorial service. I would make it private and not tell them when it is was and station security at the door to keep them out if they find out when it was. I would not even tell them he died. They would probably eventually find out, but I would not call them to tell them. I would move away and leave no forwarding address to his family. I would and will raise my kids to know all the bad things his family did to us. I don't talk about it to my husband because I fear he would make me promise to honor his dying wish and invite them to the memorial service or see the kids and I don't want to have to make a promise to him I would not keep. I also don't want him to get anything done legally to make it where they can see the kids or attend the memorial service. So I keep it to myself. He might suspect I would do something like this, but he also doesn't think about stuff like this either. I do. I think about it all the time. I don't want my husband to die, but if he did I would take such pleasure in getting my ultimate revenge on his family through his death. I would make them feel like the nothing they have always made me feel like.
Confession #3267
You just announced today that you will be spending this Christmas morning at church, instead of at home with your family. We have spent 25 years building family traditions for Christmas! This must be because this is the year I finally couldn't take the fake, plastic religion of the church we've attended for the last 22 years, and quit going. I think I gave it my best shot, but I am not, and never will be an evangelical. Sorry about that, but did you notice that I was entirely uninteresting to the whole church community until I quit going? And then we had pastors demanding to come over and "talk" to me, pastors creepily showing up at my work, people from church who've never spoken to me calling me up to ask me why I wasn't there? Incidentally, it was phone calls from many of the same people who told me all the time what a saint you are and how lucky I am to be married to you? That's just weird. And creepy. Enjoy spending time with them on Christmas. And when the kids and in-laws and your family ask where you are, I'm just going to tell them to talk to you about it. No more running interference for you. Church has always come first for you...you probably should have been the monk you said you wanted to be when we first met. And I should have been smart enough to run the other way from a 25 year old guy who says that kind of thing to a girl on a first date.
Confession #3268
I have loved you for the past 8 years of my life. I took you back after you broke my heart into a million pieces. You convinced me you were wrong and that we belonged together and that you would cherish and love me for the rest of our days. We said nothing short of murder, death or suicide would break us apart. Now after not quite 4 years of marriage this is all a lie and the heart your broke into million pieces is shattered again into two million pieces. You don’t believe in counseling – but divorce is no big deal apparently. Except it is, to me, a big deal. I’m devastated and so angry, I sob myself to sleep every night. And you? Well you just want me to shut up and get out the house already. 10 days from now I’ll be gone from your life forever and I hope someday you realize that you let go of the one person that loved you unconditionally and would have stayed with you till the earth stood still.
Confession #3269
I wish I could have looked into the future and seen that you were going to start flirting with alcoholism. I don't know how to stop it and I don't know how to accept that I can't stop it. I guess I have to start saving money so I can take the dog and get out if I need to.
Yeah. Okay. Right. I guess I better start tracking the bank accounts too, rather than just trusting you to take care of things because you're home all day and I'm working.
Goddammit if I'd stayed single I would still need to save money and track the bank accounts, but at least I wouldn't hear anyone saying hideous things to me. I wouldn't have to tell you that you cannot drive after drinking a bottle of wine. I am so depressed right now, thinking about how awful you get when you drink.
I like wine. I wish I could have wine without setting you off. I wish I didn't have to be perfect just to get through the day.
Confession #3270
For the guy at work who has such an enormous crush that he can barely talk to me:
Thank you. I like you, too. Please, please, please ask me to go get a coffee or dinner after work. I always try to get up the courage but I'm as nervous and shy as you. My answer would be yes though, with no hesitation, no reservations. I'm not proud or picky, I don't care if you take me to the 99 cent taco joint on the corner, I just want to get to know you. Men who like me have always been bold and confident, and they've always been out to use me, spend my money, and tear down my confidence. It's like they see a target; I'd resigned to be alone rather than let another confident man control my life. I can't tell you all that though, I don't want to be Emotional Baggage Girl; what a turn off. Despite my many bad experiences I am remarkably balanced, and I think I could ignore my fears if you were willing to make the first move. I've never had a bashful beau before, this is new to me and I love it. I'm so used to men who show no weakness, and I've learned that no weakness so often means no heart. I love seeing that your weakness is me. Every time you drop by my desk I smile for the rest of the day, sing to myself, and send my girlfriends crazy, giddy text messages. I know, I don't date people at work either. But I would make an exception, I think you are worth the risk. One of our co-workers told me that when he and you went out for a beer after work you couldn't stop talking about me, you had broken up with your girlfriend so you could be free to pursue me and now you are trying to get up your courage to ask me out. Do you know how that makes me feel? I'm humbled and thrilled that you would give up what you had for the chance to ask me out. And the fact that you would do it the proper way, rather than try to keep your options open... I'm speechless. I'm not used to men like you, who do the right thing even before they ask me out. I'm used to the ones who always do the wrong thing; you aren't even really in my life yet and you're already a cool breeze in the desert. And your curly hair and broad shoulders are so hot. I fantasize about hugging you, for God's sake. I wonder what it would be like to be held in your amazing arms. And since you don't button the top button I can see you have the perfect amount of chest hair; I hope you aren't one of those guys who shaves it off. It makes no difference to me, but maybe you should know our co-workers are starting to talk. It's impossible not to notice the tension, the nervous laughs and smiles and halting conversations. They think it's cute, but they wish you'd ask me out already. I wish that, too. I've learned my lesson about asking men out though; it's important to me that you ask me out, every time I've been forward with men I've gotten burned. One of our co-workers is scheming to get us together, and I greatly appreciate his efforts. Next time he asks you if you want to grab a beer after work don't be surprised if he wants to invite me, too.
The blonde girl across the office
Monday, December 05, 2011
True Wife Confessions 45 revolutions per minute
Confession #451
Why in the world would you buy yourself a King size pillow when all we have are standard pillowcases?? You can be so stupid it makes me physically ill.
Confession #452
A lot of the time when you want something stupid and immature I just give in because that is a lot easier than watching you mope about the house for the next week in pity for yourself. Because seriously? Sometimes? You. Are. A. BITCH.
Confession #453
Go get some freakin' viagra. It's time. I hate that our sex life has become so one-sided. There are men about half your age using the damn stuff. What's the problem?
You're still sexy and desirable, but now I can't even achieve orgasm in our tried and true position. I know that the Paxil is taking its toll, but its been too long now. Geez, it must hurt your pride to know I can't orgasm with you anymore, but apparently not enough to do anything about it.
Maybe we both take comfort in knowing that my rabbit vibrator is mere steps away.
Confession #454
Why are you so irresponsible with money? You think just because I'm out of work for now that I have no say in anything, but what about all those times before when I supported you because you had no job? I'm in school so I can move up to a better job, not just laying around doing nothing! And why, oh why, do you think you shouldn't have to do anything with the kids? You helped make them.....one of them isn't even mine!! And you still expect me to do everything!! Yes, I know the little one might not be yours but you knew that from the start and said it didn't matter. But what you didn't know? I'm still sleeping with her "father".....I let you think it was over, but it really wasn't. I'm not going to leave you for him, but I'm not going to leave him for you either.
Confession #455
You really are the one for me. I knew I loved you when I saw you at 8, and today at 31 my heart still melts for you.I still get butterfly's when you look at me with your beautiful green eyes... You have and always will be my greatest friend and lover.
Though not perfect, You try everyday to be a better husband and father ,and for that I will give ONLY you my love and devotion.
I love you, and thank God everyday for giving me my soul mate.
Your Thankful Wife.
Confession #456
Your first, very brief (thank goodness!), very disastrous, meaningless mess of a marriage is the best thing that ever happened to us.
Many years later, you knew I was THE ONE (and only). You married me proper. We created this beautiful family (not in the back of a pickup truck but beautifully, in love, in our bed ON PURPOSE!) and we're so happy together that I have to pinch myself sometimes.
I know I can be hard to live with, yet you are so loving, forgiving and accommodating. Your patience is amazing.
In a way, I'm thankful for your ex-(non)wife. She taught you to recognize a good thing when you saw one. Her bad example taught you that there was a woman out there (ME!) who can appreciate a wonderful, loving, giving, hard working man and father like you. By being the horrible person she was (is?), she taught you in a round about way about TRUE love and TRUE commitment. It's what we have together. And we'll have it forever.
Confession #457
I wish I could love my mother as much as I do my mother-in-law. My mil has taught me so much over the years--I feel such a connection with her. It will kill me when she passes. On the other hand, my own mother still treats me as a child, not as the 40+ yr. old mother of 6 that I am.
She repeats the same haggard stories of silly things I did as a child. I am so sick of them. She treats her dog as a human, referring to herself as the dog's "mom". If she had to choose between the dog and me, the dog would win.
Serves me right.
Confession #458
I want us to separate and live in different places for awhile so I can
appreciate you again.
Confession #459
As much as I hate to ride your ass to brush your teeth, or kick you for the
times you somehow manage to get shit on the toilet seat, or scream at you
for having such narrow minded political views and never being able to let
ANYTHING go, I still love you more than I can put into words. Because for
all those times you drive me crazy, there are countless other times where
you cook my dinner and make my lunch for work...you worry about my well
being, you want to make me happy, you plan little surprises for me, you love
me really fat, just fat, and now kinda fat and saggy, and I know you'd
rather spend time with me than anyone else. These things mean more to me
than you will ever know.
Confession #460
Even though you treat me without consideration, regard, or respect: I still love you.
Even though you act as though my opinions don't matter to you, don't have worth to us, or don't mean anything to this household: I still love you.
Even though you behave as though my career is not important unless someone else is listening, is not valuable until; the bills are paid, is not relevant unless it affects you personally: I still love you.
And even though I am fucking someone else three times a week, sharing dreams with him, and loving him in the passionate way that you should be loving me: I still love you.
I just don't know how to leave you.
Why in the world would you buy yourself a King size pillow when all we have are standard pillowcases?? You can be so stupid it makes me physically ill.
Confession #452
A lot of the time when you want something stupid and immature I just give in because that is a lot easier than watching you mope about the house for the next week in pity for yourself. Because seriously? Sometimes? You. Are. A. BITCH.
Confession #453
Go get some freakin' viagra. It's time. I hate that our sex life has become so one-sided. There are men about half your age using the damn stuff. What's the problem?
You're still sexy and desirable, but now I can't even achieve orgasm in our tried and true position. I know that the Paxil is taking its toll, but its been too long now. Geez, it must hurt your pride to know I can't orgasm with you anymore, but apparently not enough to do anything about it.
Maybe we both take comfort in knowing that my rabbit vibrator is mere steps away.
Confession #454
Why are you so irresponsible with money? You think just because I'm out of work for now that I have no say in anything, but what about all those times before when I supported you because you had no job? I'm in school so I can move up to a better job, not just laying around doing nothing! And why, oh why, do you think you shouldn't have to do anything with the kids? You helped make them.....one of them isn't even mine!! And you still expect me to do everything!! Yes, I know the little one might not be yours but you knew that from the start and said it didn't matter. But what you didn't know? I'm still sleeping with her "father".....I let you think it was over, but it really wasn't. I'm not going to leave you for him, but I'm not going to leave him for you either.
Confession #455
You really are the one for me. I knew I loved you when I saw you at 8, and today at 31 my heart still melts for you.I still get butterfly's when you look at me with your beautiful green eyes... You have and always will be my greatest friend and lover.
Though not perfect, You try everyday to be a better husband and father ,and for that I will give ONLY you my love and devotion.
I love you, and thank God everyday for giving me my soul mate.
Your Thankful Wife.
Confession #456
Your first, very brief (thank goodness!), very disastrous, meaningless mess of a marriage is the best thing that ever happened to us.
Many years later, you knew I was THE ONE (and only). You married me proper. We created this beautiful family (not in the back of a pickup truck but beautifully, in love, in our bed ON PURPOSE!) and we're so happy together that I have to pinch myself sometimes.
I know I can be hard to live with, yet you are so loving, forgiving and accommodating. Your patience is amazing.
In a way, I'm thankful for your ex-(non)wife. She taught you to recognize a good thing when you saw one. Her bad example taught you that there was a woman out there (ME!) who can appreciate a wonderful, loving, giving, hard working man and father like you. By being the horrible person she was (is?), she taught you in a round about way about TRUE love and TRUE commitment. It's what we have together. And we'll have it forever.
Confession #457
I wish I could love my mother as much as I do my mother-in-law. My mil has taught me so much over the years--I feel such a connection with her. It will kill me when she passes. On the other hand, my own mother still treats me as a child, not as the 40+ yr. old mother of 6 that I am.
She repeats the same haggard stories of silly things I did as a child. I am so sick of them. She treats her dog as a human, referring to herself as the dog's "mom". If she had to choose between the dog and me, the dog would win.
Serves me right.
Confession #458
I want us to separate and live in different places for awhile so I can
appreciate you again.
Confession #459
As much as I hate to ride your ass to brush your teeth, or kick you for the
times you somehow manage to get shit on the toilet seat, or scream at you
for having such narrow minded political views and never being able to let
ANYTHING go, I still love you more than I can put into words. Because for
all those times you drive me crazy, there are countless other times where
you cook my dinner and make my lunch for work...you worry about my well
being, you want to make me happy, you plan little surprises for me, you love
me really fat, just fat, and now kinda fat and saggy, and I know you'd
rather spend time with me than anyone else. These things mean more to me
than you will ever know.
Confession #460
Even though you treat me without consideration, regard, or respect: I still love you.
Even though you act as though my opinions don't matter to you, don't have worth to us, or don't mean anything to this household: I still love you.
Even though you behave as though my career is not important unless someone else is listening, is not valuable until; the bills are paid, is not relevant unless it affects you personally: I still love you.
And even though I am fucking someone else three times a week, sharing dreams with him, and loving him in the passionate way that you should be loving me: I still love you.
I just don't know how to leave you.
Monday, November 21, 2011
True Wife Confessions 44 magnum
Confession #441
When you call me names in front of our son, it makes
me want to stab you to death in your sleep.
Confession #442
Last night when you told me that you missed me, because I was your armor that made you stronger, that meant so much to me, because yesterday I missed you too, because you're my heart. Thank you for always making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
but then...
It makes me crazy when you won't stand outside and wait for the dog to do both pee and poop! Why would you rather clean poop off the carpet than wait for him to go in the morning? Arrgh!
Confession #443
You know when I do goofy things and you act like I'm a weirdo? I'm
just trying to make you smile and not be so serious. When you smile
or laugh, my soul dances. And when you ignore me or roll your
eyes, it really hurts.
Confession #444
Stop telling me how to take care of our daughter! You were the one who didn't know how to change a fucking diaper till the nurse in the hospital showed you, so don't tell ME what to do when she's crying, because I know!! You're wrong 99% of the time anyway, but you wont listen to me. Oh, I'm just her mother!
And by the way, the way your mother raised you, it was bullshit, okay? She wasn't the saint you make her out to be, she turned you into a pampered prick, and sent your family to the fucking poor house. Stop rubbing your childhood in my face, because you don't even realize how fucked up it really was. I'm tired of being compared to your paranoid 'saint' of a mother.
When we get out of this house, and to a better city, I am leaving your dumb ass! And I'll get custody too, because you have a bad record. So there, you asswipe!
Confession #445
I wish I would have never married you. I failed to see the signs that you were emotionally and mentally abusive because I chose to close my eyes instead of see things for what they really were. I was devastated when I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew I would be tied to you for life. I am now pregnant again and I am hating every second of it. I will love both of our children more than I can imagine but as soon as this second one is born, I am out... like your HAIR STYLE. I am so lonely... you hardly talk to me. You choose to ignore me instead of pay attention to me. I hate touching you, having sex with you... I am sick of pretending to like you muchless love you. You are a good worker when it comes to your occupation but you are lazier than dog shit when you are at home. I am MISERABLE and totally depressed. I want out RIGHT NOW. I hate my life and my marriage. I hate who I am when I am with you and most of all I hate who I am turning into. I want someone to cherish me and love me... I want someone to tell me I am beautiful and appreciate me. THINGS YOU WILL NEVER DO. I've come to accept the fact that you will NEVER change... and I was crazy and stupid to think you ever would.
Confession #446
The reason I did not want to refinance or get a loan to put an addition on the house is because I have thousands of dollars of credit card debt I am hiding from you because I know you will freak out if you know about it. I don't want to take a chance on you seeing the credit report. I have a personal loan to begin paying it down, and I have canceled the cards, but I get the statements at work and use my cell phone as the contact number so that you don't know about them.
Confession #447
You will not know what hit you because you are in such denial. Our 15 year marriage has run it's course into the ground. You refuse to get help and are too incestually linked with your Mother.
You have denied me love, sex, kindness, and comfort, but expect me to be grateful to live in OUR home that WE provide.
One day, you will come crying to be with me and I am going to take pleasure in telling you no.
Confession #448
I really hate how you treat my children. Yes, MY children. Because until you adopt them or at least give them your last name, you have no right to call them YOUR children. I hate how you treat them. They are good kids who constantly walk on eggshells around you, doing everything they can to try to make you happy. You won't give them any credit and you won't give them any praise.
Confession #449
I hate what you did to me and us when you cheated. I hate that I was not strong enough to leave. I hate that me and her shared a name. I hate my name now. I hate that I cannot love my unique name anymore. I hate hearing my name come out of your mouth. I hate the chills that it sends down my back. I hate that you cheated on me on our wedding anniversary. I hate that you took her out to eat that day while I sat at home with our children wondering where you were on such an important day. I hate that I don't have a wedding anniversary anymore. I hate looking and feeling like a fool. I hate not being able to love or trust you the way I used to before all that happen out of fear of being crushed again. I hate feeling like damaged goods. I hate feeling like I am the one that should be punished and like I am punished for what happened. I hate that I have thought of doing what you did just to get even. I hate that I have thought about other men after what happened. I hate that I was so heartbroken that I would let myself think that way. I hate that you say that it is never going to happen again and I don't believe you....
Confession #450
Your mother and sisters already know that I am planning on leaving you. They support me completely.
When you call me names in front of our son, it makes
me want to stab you to death in your sleep.
Confession #442
Last night when you told me that you missed me, because I was your armor that made you stronger, that meant so much to me, because yesterday I missed you too, because you're my heart. Thank you for always making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.
but then...
It makes me crazy when you won't stand outside and wait for the dog to do both pee and poop! Why would you rather clean poop off the carpet than wait for him to go in the morning? Arrgh!
Confession #443
You know when I do goofy things and you act like I'm a weirdo? I'm
just trying to make you smile and not be so serious. When you smile
or laugh, my soul dances. And when you ignore me or roll your
eyes, it really hurts.
Confession #444
Stop telling me how to take care of our daughter! You were the one who didn't know how to change a fucking diaper till the nurse in the hospital showed you, so don't tell ME what to do when she's crying, because I know!! You're wrong 99% of the time anyway, but you wont listen to me. Oh, I'm just her mother!
And by the way, the way your mother raised you, it was bullshit, okay? She wasn't the saint you make her out to be, she turned you into a pampered prick, and sent your family to the fucking poor house. Stop rubbing your childhood in my face, because you don't even realize how fucked up it really was. I'm tired of being compared to your paranoid 'saint' of a mother.
When we get out of this house, and to a better city, I am leaving your dumb ass! And I'll get custody too, because you have a bad record. So there, you asswipe!
Confession #445
I wish I would have never married you. I failed to see the signs that you were emotionally and mentally abusive because I chose to close my eyes instead of see things for what they really were. I was devastated when I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew I would be tied to you for life. I am now pregnant again and I am hating every second of it. I will love both of our children more than I can imagine but as soon as this second one is born, I am out... like your HAIR STYLE. I am so lonely... you hardly talk to me. You choose to ignore me instead of pay attention to me. I hate touching you, having sex with you... I am sick of pretending to like you muchless love you. You are a good worker when it comes to your occupation but you are lazier than dog shit when you are at home. I am MISERABLE and totally depressed. I want out RIGHT NOW. I hate my life and my marriage. I hate who I am when I am with you and most of all I hate who I am turning into. I want someone to cherish me and love me... I want someone to tell me I am beautiful and appreciate me. THINGS YOU WILL NEVER DO. I've come to accept the fact that you will NEVER change... and I was crazy and stupid to think you ever would.
Confession #446
The reason I did not want to refinance or get a loan to put an addition on the house is because I have thousands of dollars of credit card debt I am hiding from you because I know you will freak out if you know about it. I don't want to take a chance on you seeing the credit report. I have a personal loan to begin paying it down, and I have canceled the cards, but I get the statements at work and use my cell phone as the contact number so that you don't know about them.
Confession #447
You will not know what hit you because you are in such denial. Our 15 year marriage has run it's course into the ground. You refuse to get help and are too incestually linked with your Mother.
You have denied me love, sex, kindness, and comfort, but expect me to be grateful to live in OUR home that WE provide.
One day, you will come crying to be with me and I am going to take pleasure in telling you no.
Confession #448
I really hate how you treat my children. Yes, MY children. Because until you adopt them or at least give them your last name, you have no right to call them YOUR children. I hate how you treat them. They are good kids who constantly walk on eggshells around you, doing everything they can to try to make you happy. You won't give them any credit and you won't give them any praise.
Confession #449
I hate what you did to me and us when you cheated. I hate that I was not strong enough to leave. I hate that me and her shared a name. I hate my name now. I hate that I cannot love my unique name anymore. I hate hearing my name come out of your mouth. I hate the chills that it sends down my back. I hate that you cheated on me on our wedding anniversary. I hate that you took her out to eat that day while I sat at home with our children wondering where you were on such an important day. I hate that I don't have a wedding anniversary anymore. I hate looking and feeling like a fool. I hate not being able to love or trust you the way I used to before all that happen out of fear of being crushed again. I hate feeling like damaged goods. I hate feeling like I am the one that should be punished and like I am punished for what happened. I hate that I have thought of doing what you did just to get even. I hate that I have thought about other men after what happened. I hate that I was so heartbroken that I would let myself think that way. I hate that you say that it is never going to happen again and I don't believe you....
Confession #450
Your mother and sisters already know that I am planning on leaving you. They support me completely.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
