Monday, November 21, 2011

True Wife Confessions 44 magnum

Confession #441

When you call me names in front of our son, it makes
me want to stab you to death in your sleep.

Confession #442

Last night when you told me that you missed me, because I was your armor that made you stronger, that meant so much to me, because yesterday I missed you too, because you're my heart. Thank you for always making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

but then...

It makes me crazy when you won't stand outside and wait for the dog to do both pee and poop! Why would you rather clean poop off the carpet than wait for him to go in the morning? Arrgh!

Confession #443

You know when I do goofy things and you act like I'm a weirdo? I'm
just trying to make you smile and not be so serious. When you smile
or laugh, my soul dances. And when you ignore me or roll your
eyes, it really hurts.

Confession #444

Stop telling me how to take care of our daughter! You were the one who didn't know how to change a fucking diaper till the nurse in the hospital showed you, so don't tell ME what to do when she's crying, because I know!! You're wrong 99% of the time anyway, but you wont listen to me. Oh, I'm just her mother!

And by the way, the way your mother raised you, it was bullshit, okay? She wasn't the saint you make her out to be, she turned you into a pampered prick, and sent your family to the fucking poor house. Stop rubbing your childhood in my face, because you don't even realize how fucked up it really was. I'm tired of being compared to your paranoid 'saint' of a mother.

When we get out of this house, and to a better city, I am leaving your dumb ass! And I'll get custody too, because you have a bad record. So there, you asswipe!

Confession #445

I wish I would have never married you. I failed to see the signs that you were emotionally and mentally abusive because I chose to close my eyes instead of see things for what they really were. I was devastated when I found out we were pregnant with our first child. I knew I would be tied to you for life. I am now pregnant again and I am hating every second of it. I will love both of our children more than I can imagine but as soon as this second one is born, I am out... like your HAIR STYLE. I am so lonely... you hardly talk to me. You choose to ignore me instead of pay attention to me. I hate touching you, having sex with you... I am sick of pretending to like you muchless love you. You are a good worker when it comes to your occupation but you are lazier than dog shit when you are at home. I am MISERABLE and totally depressed. I want out RIGHT NOW. I hate my life and my marriage. I hate who I am when I am with you and most of all I hate who I am turning into. I want someone to cherish me and love me... I want someone to tell me I am beautiful and appreciate me. THINGS YOU WILL NEVER DO. I've come to accept the fact that you will NEVER change... and I was crazy and stupid to think you ever would.

Confession #446

The reason I did not want to refinance or get a loan to put an addition on the house is because I have thousands of dollars of credit card debt I am hiding from you because I know you will freak out if you know about it. I don't want to take a chance on you seeing the credit report. I have a personal loan to begin paying it down, and I have canceled the cards, but I get the statements at work and use my cell phone as the contact number so that you don't know about them.

Confession #447

You will not know what hit you because you are in such denial. Our 15 year marriage has run it's course into the ground. You refuse to get help and are too incestually linked with your Mother.

You have denied me love, sex, kindness, and comfort, but expect me to be grateful to live in OUR home that WE provide.

One day, you will come crying to be with me and I am going to take pleasure in telling you no.

Confession #448

I really hate how you treat my children. Yes, MY children. Because until you adopt them or at least give them your last name, you have no right to call them YOUR children. I hate how you treat them. They are good kids who constantly walk on eggshells around you, doing everything they can to try to make you happy. You won't give them any credit and you won't give them any praise.

Confession #449

I hate what you did to me and us when you cheated. I hate that I was not strong enough to leave. I hate that me and her shared a name. I hate my name now. I hate that I cannot love my unique name anymore. I hate hearing my name come out of your mouth. I hate the chills that it sends down my back. I hate that you cheated on me on our wedding anniversary. I hate that you took her out to eat that day while I sat at home with our children wondering where you were on such an important day. I hate that I don't have a wedding anniversary anymore. I hate looking and feeling like a fool. I hate not being able to love or trust you the way I used to before all that happen out of fear of being crushed again. I hate feeling like damaged goods. I hate feeling like I am the one that should be punished and like I am punished for what happened. I hate that I have thought of doing what you did just to get even. I hate that I have thought about other men after what happened. I hate that I was so heartbroken that I would let myself think that way. I hate that you say that it is never going to happen again and I don't believe you....

Confession #450

Your mother and sisters already know that I am planning on leaving you. They support me completely.


Anonymous said...

My hearts grieves for all of you. Knowing my wife was thinking similar thoughts about me after my drug addiction makes me want to crawl under a rock and die. Knowing that she loved me enough to work through it makes me feel grateful; knowing that we DID work through it and have rekindled our love makes me want to shout from a mountaintop how much I love her. It's far too easy to let your romance become routine. Never take a good thing for granted. I wish you all were able to work things out.

Anonymous said...

I would suggest that you look in the mirror why is it the mother and sister support you? Is it that they do not thing your good enough? Try remembering grout vows. A mariage fails because of two not one. I'm am not saying your partner is a saint but being down this road before has taught me that on person is not to blame for all the problems. It took two to marry and two to divorce. I have found personally though that one leaves becausE they are selfIsh and think only of themselves. This is what leads to infaditity as well. Just a thought.

Petrat said...

Wow Anonymous number 2, pass judgement much?

Anonymous said...

I have a love/hate thing with this blog. I come here compulsively to read all these posts, from day one forward.

I'm reading them to learn to be a better man and to learn how to be a good husband. I'm not married yet; heck, I haven't even found anyone yet. But someday, when I'm married, my as-yet-unknown wife will benefit from what I've learned here. And even then, I'll keep coming back to keep learning how to be the best man I can be for her, whomever she is.

Thank you so much and I wish only happiness for every woman who has ever written her pain here.

memyselfandi said...

Anonymous at 4:31..I think that is AWESOME that you do this and will continue to do so after you are married...funny because I have thought that wouldn't it be great if men read this site to learn. i hope my future haven't met yet husband reads this website as well.

East TX Oilfield Wife! said...

I know that marriage is supposed to be forever, but if you are not happy there is no reason to go on. Do not listen to the people that are judgemental. Maybe they should look in their closets before they start commenting on what is in yours. Good luck hun.