It's been over a year since you left me. I survived you.
I need you to stop fighting so much with our son. He is only eight years old, you are an adult. Grow up and stop acting like an asshole. Stop thinking you can be an authoritarian father that has his every command instantly done. You are not that guy, he is not that kid, that is not our family. Just stop that shit and learn to communicate. Our son is going to grow up and move as far away from you as he can get and I will miss him so much and always feel irritated with you for driving him away, so stop this crap before that happens.
I love my mom in spite of her drinking and horrendous taste in boyfriends. Thank you for being the buffer when I was going out of my mind, for holding me when I cried myself to sleep Christmas Eve, and for understanding why I am the way I am.
I hate your son and I hate his girlfriend and I hate that they live with us and do nothing and pay no rent! In case you haven’t noticed, I stopped cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom for the last three weeks to see if either of those lazy fuckers would actually get disgusted enough to do something about it. I am wondering what threshold for grossness they have, because that toilet is getting REALLY bad (this is why I poop at work)
I hate that you won’t tell him to grow the fuck up and take some REAL responsibility for his life! I love you more than anything, but you are not doing him any favors by rescuing him every time he screws up, and yes I love the grandbaby, but you gotta admit, that knocking up the ‘booty call’ that snuck in and out of our house when we were asleep in the middle of the night was a HUGE mistake!
To my work husband:
We went to college together, we work for the same company, and I enjoy your friendship. But that's all I want from you. I like when we go out for a drink after work, talk smack about our boss and our customers, and then go to our own homes. I do not like when you have a few drinks too many and try to kiss me at the bar. And I realize that once upon a time we got wasted and slept together, but that's all it was: drunk sex. It was one thing in college when everyone was sleeping with everyone within our group of friends, but you're married now. The fact that you have that little regard for your wife doesn't make me want a deeper relationship with you, even if you drunkenly say you only married her because she was pregnant and would have married me otherwise. You are more supportive and generous with your friends and co-workers than you are with your wife. In your marriage you are a common, cheating bastard and a horrible husband. I have no idea why there is such a disconnect in your otherwise amazing personality.
Also, I am now dating someone and even if you're willing to betray your wife by sleeping with me, I am not willing to betray this man. It was twisted enough when I was single, but I'm not dragging in an innocent bystander; especially one who I can tell by his actions genuinely likes and cares about me. You've proven many times that you are a good friend to me, but the drunken "I love you" thing must stop. You know why your wife is a crazy bitch about you calling me? Because she can tell something isn't quite right there. She's right to feel mad and insecure. I wish she knew it was you pursuing me though; she thinks it's the other way around and it's clearly because that's what you told her. So when I get phone calls from her cussing me out, I don't react, I just hang up. Because she's not wrong, but she's also horribly misinformed. I 100% believe that you care about me and want to be friends forever, because you've put up with a lot of bullshit from me and if we didn't care about each other we wouldn't still be talking. But if you or your wife do anything to threaten my new relationship I have no problem never speaking to you again. You made your choice to get married even though you've never said anything positive about her the entire time I've known you. I believe you do love me though and now it's time to prove it by allowing me to be happy.
And by the way, I know you think you're amazing in bed. I never wanted to hurt your ego like that, but you're awful. I give you points for effort, at least you wanted to get me off, but you could never quite manage it.
Your work wife
You treat we so well. You are patient, you put up with my passive aggressiveness, you forgive my low libido, you do the laundry, cooking, housework. You work full time, yet when I am too tired, too depressed, too whatever, you always pick up the slack without asking anything in return. You gave up your own interests to take care of my kids while I got an advanced degree, and then when my jobs hours took me out of the household. My kids were brats, they drove me crazy, and I know they drove you crazy, yet you persevered, you tried to teach them and show them right from wrong. And your kids did the same thing; they silenty tolerated my kids bullshit, they thrived while mine just didn't get it, and you never compared them, you just kept teaching and encouraging, all to no avail. Gosh I am such a brat! I am so afraid of losing you, I know I should get off my ass, I just don't know how and you haven't forced me to. I know you believe in free will and personal responsibility, that's why I expect you to finally say you've had enough, that you're leaving. Yet when my self esteem is at its lowest and I know I've disappointed you for the umpteenth time, and I look at your kind, handsome face and 50 year old, still perfect physique and worry about all the women who'd give their right arm for a man like you, you take me in your arms and tell me how much you love me, how beautiful you think I am, and how you'll never want a day to go by without me being your wife! What is wrong with me?
I hate how selfish you are. I hate how all you ever want is a blow or hand job I hate how it makes me feel knowing I'm not worth sex. Knowing you can say your too tired for sex but never too tired for a blow job. I hate how nasty you make me feel. How blood is the worst thing in the world. I don't get how the tail end of a period is gross. You hop up the second we are done to wipe off even when I'm not bleeding. I hate how you act as if sex with a condom is the worst thing ever. I'm suppose to put up with sperm but you can't put up with blood. Fucker. I hate how you can turn me Down for sex and I can catch you jerking off to your phone the next morning. Hate how stupid you make me feel and how alone I am because you moved me away from every one I knew to one of the biggest shit holes in America. I hate how you blame me for being depressed in such a shithole. I hate you mom. I hate how much of a kiss ass she is. How she waits hand and foot on you and her precious boyfriend. Like they aren't adults. I hate how she tries to show me up . I hate how she still talks to your ex girlfriend and wants to hang out with her. I frickin hate the fact your texting each other all the damn time you don't have the right to know every aspect of our marriage even our sex life and btw I don't want to fucking hear about yours. Your boyfriend is a weirdo. I dont trust him around my kids. And I don't trust you either. Because as soon as I turn my back you give them something they don't need or a dr said they can't have. Which you think your smarter than the dr. Don't tell me what to do for my children, you had your fucking chance. Stop bitching about your job. All jobs suck and the girls at work hate you because your a fake bitch. Your old so stop trying to act young. I told you I don't want your opinion so shut up. No one else has the balls to say it. I day dream about punching the shit out of you. I know you wanted him to marry the other bitch. I hate that if I have a bad day I'm not allowed to say it. I really hate porn. I feel it's an excuse to face problems. I hate your stupid burro games. Technology is ruining us. You get off to your phone computer or tv hang out with the boys in call of duty I never get mine. I lie about getting off on the rare occasions we have sex. I think your just too lazy to watch porn I feel like a chore rather than your lover. Your father and step mom are drunks and prob going to die young. Your family needs to grow up. I hate how angry you get with the kids. How everything is suppose to be perfect how you demand I go to the gym. How I have to or I feel like shit because you look at me like im nasty. I had your kids sorry I gained weight sorry I got depressed because your family are jackasses and I miss mine.
I lost my true love 16 yrs ago, he was my first love and the first person I ever slept with. We recently got back in touch. I am married but I would give almost anything to be in his strong black arms again. I made the mistake of marrying a white man.. I fully plan to be with this man again one way or another. I wish we would of found each other again sooner. Sorry for those I/we hurt but she's gonna move aside as is my current husband.. babe i love you. You know who you are and i will be back by your side forever one of these days. I can't wait for those hands, those lips and that tongue to return to my body.... You do things to me no other man ever could.. he does things to my body that i am certain no other woman has felt.. i need him, i want him and one day I WILL HAVE HIM AND HIS LAST NAME! Not to mention feel him inside me...
I hate your stuff. I hate:
-- The picture of stallions, woodburned onto a slab of plywood.
-- The clock made out of a redwood burl with two different styles of numerals, one style surrounded by shiny glue because whoever stuck on that second style to replace the original ones that fell off was kind of incompetent.
-- The two-foot-by-three-foot picture of a ramshackle building by disused railroad tracks, with real wires representing the telephone wires and aluminum foil representing the windows in the building and real rocks glued on to represent the rocks.
-- The flip-numeral clock radio from the seventies that makes grumbling noises every goddamn time the numerals flip.
When you die I will miss you, but I cannot wait to get rid of your stuff.
I confess that I really want a child. Not just any child, your child. One that you can raise with its (though I really think it would be a boy, named James or Jeremiah) mother in a loving environment without fear of me leaving. One that you can see every day without worrying about not being able to afford keeping her. I want to make up for all the hard times you had with your ex-wife while trying to raise your daughter. She is a very special person but I want to see a child with your features and mine. You say you are too old for that and I should find someone else if I want a child. I can't leave you for that because just any child won't do. I scare myself because I am also supposed to be in charge of the birth control. Would you even notice if I stopped? I am terrified of getting pregnant though because we decided when we got together that if I did, we would have an abortion. And all this confusion and fear is making me despise sex. I know you would freak out if I ever whispered to you that I want to have your baby but I scream it in my head any time we orgasm together. I don't know why it gets me off but it does. I doubt I can ever tell you because you wouldn't want to see me cry about it and know that you would have to tell me no. I am too selfish to be a good mother anyways...