Tuesday, September 09, 2008

True Wife Confessions 265 raindrops fallin' on my head

Confession # 2641

You asked me a while back how much pot I smoke. I smoke every night you're at band rehearsal.
So, four times a week. Five if I've had to lead a Brownie troop meeting.

But I get the coffee pot set up the night before, keep the house clean, pay all our bills, make lunches, get the kids to school, lead the Brownies, play with our children and keep our house a happy place for you and the kids. I enjoy my tokes. Shut up about it already.


Confession # 2642

Truth is I'm terrified of ending up like you. You are one of the most negative people I know. You don't like any of our friends, you don't like our family, there's always something wrong, you always expect things to go wrong. I can feel my mood dropping as I approach home each day. It's so hard to stay positive for both of us and I just can't do it anymore. You're right, your life sucks...but only because you make it that way. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Guess what! It's about to suck even more because I'm getting the hell out of this funeral parlor. You have finally managed to push everyone out of your life.



Confession # 2643

Honey, I love you. I really do. But I hate having sex with you. It's terrible. Years ago, I sacrificed great sex for a great man. I tell you that I just don't like sex. That I must have lost my sex drive when I had the baby. I tell you that it will pass. I tell you that we just have to keep having sex and eventually it will come back to me. But the truth is, I do like sex. I just don't like sex with you. That's why when he emailed me today, I thought about having an affair. I really REALLY enjoyed sex with him. But then I remembered why I married you. And the great sex wouldn't be worth losing you. But I do wonder how I will live the rest of my life and never have an amazing sex life again.

Confession # 2644


Yes, I am angry with you. I'm angry because you never asked me. Never mind that it was a non-issue that your daughter is coming to live with us because her mother is - well - not doing her job. Of course she can come, but you did not ask me. You did not discuss living arrangements, or school, or how we're going to pay for anything with me. That shows me, yet again, how much you take me for granted. You do not treat me like your partner. You treat me like some little girl who can't think for herself. You assume that everything here is "ours" - (including my notebooks, but that's another rant). My asking your opinion is me trying to include you, not me asking you to do it for me, so don't get angry. And then when you say you will do something you do not keep your word. How is this going to affect your daughter who, as you just now told me, is coming from a "messed up place"? Her entire security system has just failed and you expect to be able to function as her father when you can't even fulfill your partner's needs? I am afraid it will come down to one or the other and you had better damn well choose her.

Confession # 2645


The "appointment" is this Wednesday..I don't wanna do this. I wouldn't mind just running the hell away and keeping this baby. I want this baby..I wish it wasn't yours so I could keep it. I hate that once I told you, you were so adamant on doing this..you didn't even think about it..Like you don't care..

I know you love me..that isn't the case but I hate this..all of it. And I HATE HER..I don't know her and I don't wanna meet her..I would tackle her (And THAT'S Not hormones)..I'm fine with you dating her and Me..But Still...Don't you understand that it hurts to know that if she gets pregnant..She can keep it? She can be your wife, the mother of your children. I can't. and I can bet you if she got pregnant you'd be happy...

I have So much doubt in this relationship and I've never been like this with any other boyfriend..What the hell is wrong with me? Why do i keep trying to make this work? I wanna hit you sometimes..and scream..but I don't walk away, because you kiss me and I can see your love for me in your eyes..And it's ok again.

Almost 100 pounds lighter than I was a year and a half ago..and I feel uglier than ever...

Confession # 2646

I find your furry body to be amazingly sexy. Yes, some women don't like all that body hair, but I absolutely love it. It turns me on more than any other aspect of your body. Running my fingers through it, rubbing my face across it, just looking at it -- damn, but you are one sexy man. I'm a lucky lady!


Confession # 2647

You can be rougher with me during sex. I keep telling you and you are getting better about not treating me like a doll that will break. I LOVE when you just FUCK me.

Confession # 2648

You really should have been more interested in my life. While we were seperated last time I was messing around with my ex. The one I left for you. I really regret ever leaving him. Now that I have your kids, he doesn't want to "break up a home". It isn't much of a home is it. I'm divorcing you because you stink and have horrible hygiene in general. Your unibrow makes me want to hurl. The way you scrape the gunk out of your toenails when I try to have a conversation with you makes me want to stab you with the paper clip you use! Now that I am getting rid of you, I will no longer have to deal with my stuff being pooped on, or ejaculated on. I can have sex with all the attractive guys I want to now. HA!

Confession # 2649

I got home a lot earlier than you today and I said I'd pack for our weekend away. I still haven't done it. When you get home I'll be at my computer, working on stuff for the office, and I will sigh and tell you I got derailed by my boss. What was I really doing for most of the afternoon? Reading porn in my PJs while eating popcorn. And chatting with our neighbour about the cute shit her kid does.

I'll still do the packing, but it's much more fun to do it when you're in the house, even if you're not helping in any way. And really, if I'd got it all done earlier, I would have missed out on reading porn in my PJs, cause I can't exactly do that while you're about.

Confession # 2650

Yeah, I made the mistake of slowing my husband down when he was "in the mood" yesterday - because he went straight for my crotch. That didn't go over too well.

Honey - when you wonder why I'm not "in the mood", it's because you don't know what a mood is. I tried to tell you nicely that other parts of my body respond to caressing - my neck, throat, knees and more - not just my crotch which feels unprepared for your clumsy assault. And kissing? I used to miss it, but really, you just don't kiss that well anymore. I'd like to change that. really I would. It might be fun trying and I might be in the mood more. Just a thought.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

2645: If you want to keep the baby, keep it. Please. Don't let what he wants dictate what you will do. Run away, you and the baby. Run far, far away from this two-timing scumbucket.

Anonymous said...

2645:
I agree, keep your baby. This guy is an ass that will not be in your life and absolutely not worth giving up your child.

2648:
WTF? Are you married to a gorilla?

Anonymous said...

2645: Honey, it's your baby, too. Make the best decision for you, whatever that may be.

mireille said...

#2649 - How do you "read" porn? Sounds like fun!

Anonymous said...

2560: My husband is the same way. Sometimes I'll get a little boob-action before he zones in on my crotch in the first 60 seconds. Sigh. I've been hinting around for the last 5 years, and straight out told him what's up recently. He still hasn't changed.

Anonymous said...

2645: Please keep the baby.. This guy wont be in your life in a years years from now. he will never change he doesnt love u i dont care "how" he looks at you dont u see that..Keep the baby and he will have to send a check every week and thats all u need..Dont tell his wife just keep it and move on with your life..

Anonymous said...

2645: I've been in your shoes. Just leave. That baby will love you more than any man possibly could. Trust me.

Anonymous said...

#2646 - Yeah. I hear you on loving the furry. My partner is delightfully hairy and cuddly and it is wonderful. There is nothing hotter to me than seeing him walk around in jeans and no shirt. Mmmmmmm.....

#2747 - Instead of telling him try showing him. And then let him know that you loved what he just did. Positive reinforcement in the moment works wonders.

Anonymous said...

2645: First of all, congrats on losing the weight. That is a major accomplishment and you should be on Cloud Nine from that alone. If you give up the baby do it because it's what YOU want and not what he wants. It's clear from what you've written that this is not the guy for you - and I don't think you should destroy a life for a guy who treats you so poorly.

Anonymous said...

There were a lot of entries about clueless lovers. I wonder how many "nice" guys or "good" men are left because they are pathetic in bed? I wonder how many women might be in the mood for someone with a little talent but aren't willing to be "generous" to the clumsy oaf who rushes right for the crotch, grabs the lube if we don't get wet fast enough, and repeatedly ignores our suggestions? Some women find it hard to ask for things in bed, so pay attention when we do! It's just infuriating to ask over and over and over again. I'd rather just masturbate and get on with my day than deal with 45 minutes of disappointment once again.

Anonymous said...

mireille - 2649 here. Let me count the ways! Starting with paranormal romance novels such as Laurell K Hamilton, whose books contain TONS of hot sex scenes... moving on to things like Nancy Friday who chronicles women's sexual fantasies... to the many steamy stories on fan-fiction sites. And then there's the good old-fashioned stuff like The Story of O. Enjoy...

Anonymous said...

3:06 -
Literotica dot com

2645 -
If he has no interest in this baby, it's not his. It's yours. Do what YOU want, for you are the parent.

Anonymous said...

#2644 - The daughter was in his life before you and you knew this before you were with him. Having a dad stand up and take his child into his home because she is in a bad situation is the best thing he could do for his child. Apparently he cares for his child and should not have to discuss whether or not his own child can come and live with him.
I would think the world of your man and be happy that he stands up for his child and takes care of her.

Anonymous said...

To #2644:

Kudos to you for understanding that your guy needs to take responsibility for his daughter, and thank you for not blaming her for his inconsiderate behavior towards you.

Hopefully, he was just overwhelmed by this sudden change in his life and simply didn't think to confer with you first (ie, the "I'm the MAN! I can take care of it ALL myself!" mentality). If he doesn't initiate any conversations about this lifestyle change with you, maybe you could take the initiative? Put yourself in his shoes, and do for him what you want him to do for you if your roles were reversed (ie, if you were suddenly bringing a child in without consulting him).

Maybe once he sees and understands the type of partnership you're looking for from him, he'll be able to reciprocate similarly in the future. (Monkey see, monkey do!)

For example, you could look up schools, draw up a budget, think of potential room changes, etc. to accommodate his daughter into your shared life, and then present your findings to him. Show him that you're willing and able to help, and make it clear you're just providing options, not giving orders. (Ex - when finding schools, instead of just highlighting the ones you think would be best, you could provide the pros / cons of each school and let him choose which one to send his daughter to.)

Good luck with both your existing relationship with him, and your upcoming relationship with his daughter!

Anonymous said...

Hi 2642. That sounds like me. My husband is so negative about everything that I now find myself not wanting to come home, and I spend so much time telling him how mean and grumpy he is that I am beginning to sound like him. I am going to make a pack today to not say one negative thing today and go back to being the carefree happy person I was back 10 years ago. I hope it works. Thaks for the mirror and good luck to you
Me

theo said...

2643 - "great sex wouldn't be worth losing [him]"

Good thinking, there. Practice can make perfect, and if you're patient with him, it's possible he'll get better. . .

2645 - I'll just echo the comments above. Go ahead and have your baby. Yer guy is only concerned for his own hide, and keeping you secret from 'her' (I'm not quite clear whether 'she' is his wife or not, but if she is, you've got a no-brainer decision here). Don't kid yourself; it ain't 'love' you're seeing in his eyes, however much you wish it was. . .

Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Have your baby, sue him for child support, and let him sort things out with 'her'. . .

Anonymous said...

2643 - instead of bitching, why don't you TEACH, show, communicate with your husband about what good sex is for you. I'm sure he'd appreciate learning how to please you and you'll reap the benefits!

2644 - you teach people how to treat yourself.

2645 - IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT THEN DON'T!!! Do what YOU want. Be true to yourself. Your life is what you make it so don't do something you'll regret.

Anonymous said...

12:28 PM re 2643: There's only so much you can do if the guy won't LISTEN. I can't tell you how many times I've told my guy that I don't care for noisy wet kisses all over my torso, and particularly for as long as he likes to do it. I get NOTHING out of it but a vague sense of annoyance and impatience. I ask for some teeth, I ask for some nails, I ask him to move on to something else, yet it's the start of his routine and hell or high water he's not going to change it. I swear, one of these days I'm going to open a book and ask him to let me know when he's done pleasing himself because he's doing nothing for me. Maybe that will get his attention.

Anonymous said...

Pooping and ejaculating...yes, that DOES sound an awful like a gorilla...LOL!

Anonymous said...

2645 - Why not keep it? Collect child support from your jerky lover. My gosh, I come from a family involved in 2 adoptions...there is so much hurt all around....you won't be able to change your mind. Keep the baby....

Anonymous said...

as one who gave up 2 because of man issues I now have a baby that brings more joy than those sorry sacs ever gave me. if only i had known I would have 3 wonderful beings. Its hard to do it on your own but so worth it hope this helps. ps if you do give it up don't beat yourself up about it. the time just might not be right.

Anonymous said...

I know this is almost a month later, but I'm wondering about 2465. I'm wondering what she decided. Did she go to the appointment, or decide to keep her baby? If she wanted to keep the baby, I really hope she did...I am pro-choice, but it sounds like keeping it would have been her choice.
Peace.