Monday, September 15, 2008

True Wife Confession 266 million wireless subscribers

Confession #2651

I have never enjoyed sex with anyone the way I do with you. The way you touch me, the way we actually talk and communicate in bed create the most amazing safe space for us to explore. Not only that, but I was never a fan of getting head, as it never did much for me. But with you? Amazing. You take an hour to lick and tease and just relax me - no other expectations or demands.

This amazing safe space has allowed us to start exploring parts of my - and your - sexuality that we never shared with anyone else. I adore you being dominant in bed - which you did after I asked you to - holding me down playfully, telling me to suck your cock, asking if I am your dirty whore...it sends shivers down me even as I write this.

I always loved sex, but with you it has become almost transcendent. I thank you for opening that door.

Confession #2652

Everyone wants to tell you how great it is to be a dad. Two of our friends who have kids have both pulled you aside in the last couple of weeks to enthuse about it, and they say to you that even though they don't get to come out to rock shows with us much any more, it's all worth it for the feeling of holding their very own children, and that the love between them and their wives is deeper than ever, and that they love being involved dads who know how to change diapers and things. Your boss has done this too. My boss has even done it.

None of this is too strange--I mean, I'm sure it really is great to be a dad, and I'm very happy for all of our dad friends. What I find funny is that their wives, the moms, aren't having the same conversation with me.

No one seems to know that you'd probably be fine with becoming a dad--the real reason we don't have kids is that I don't want them.

Confession #2653

My Confession: I love my husband more than life itself.

I waited to get married until the ripe age of 46. I thought I would make a wiser choice in selecting a spouse if I saw and interacted with a huge selection of people from everywhere to ensure I knew what was out there and to be able to recognize a 1-in-a-million when he came along.

Guess what? My plan worked.

I fell in love with you, dear treasure, sight unseen.
You lived 3,000 miles away from me when we met, yet it was sooo easy to pack up, leave my family, friends, job, my entire way of life, drive 3,000 miles across the country, and move in with you....Not a single second thought, I was that certain.

Today we have known each other for exactly 5 years and been married for 1 1/2 years.

And still, during moments that would seem mundane or lackluster to others, and while you are unaware, I look at you and truly see you, and it hurts. It hurts because I truly see you, all the way into your soul. And it hurts because it is so beautiful. It hurts because I realize how easily fate or 'the gods' could have kept us apart or even separate us in the future. It hurts because you are so incredible, and I love you so completely, but unfortunately, life deems that nothing is forever.

So I just smile to myself, and say a prayer of thanks to God for my greatest gift of finding you and having you for many yesterdays, today, and for however many tomorrows I am blessed with.

I love you, my dearest husband, my greatest love….unconditionally and absolutely…just as you love me.

Thank you, darling.


Confession #2654

I don't understand why you are saying I won't go on the motorcycle with you when you haven't asked me. You take the kids, all 3 of them at once, but not me. BUT you did the right thing today when you went over to the boy's house who made our son cry today. Too bad the father over there isn't a stand up guy like you. I love you, but I am still not ready to tell you.
Love me

Confession #2655

I have to confess. Since we met 8 months ago, I've been watching your online activity. I know you've been checking your mail at 3 online dating sites daily for the past 8 months. Even after we had the "exclusive" talk about 7 months ago, you are still online daily. Even after you told me you love me and only me, you are still online daily. Even after I took my own online profile down (and you commented on it), you are still online daily. Even after we talked about living together and possibly even getting married, you are still online daily. And you think I have no clue. Pffft. I'm just waiting for you to hang yourself with your lies. Then I'll kick your ass to the curb so fast your head will spin. You'll see.

Confession #2656

Ladies - I need your help. I have read many of these confessions because I wanted to try to better understand my wife. She is in the midst of an internal struggle where I believe she is trying to decide if she wants to keep our marriage together or not. She is craving for independence, and I know she still loves me but I am not sure it is enough for her. She has been lying frequently to me about where she is and what she is doing. I know she is lying because of a few things that happened (her friend called the house when she was supposed to be out with my wife, and other things like this) but I have given her the benefit of doubt that whatever she is doing she needs to do for herself. I just wish she didn't have to lie to me. I have not called her out yet on any of these lies because I admit for many of our years of marriage I was way to jealous and made her feel bad for things she didn't even do. She will just think I am being jealous again and I am not now - -- but I am concerned. I have not been snoopy or anything for the few months she has been lying and am trying not to be but these lies are killing me. There was another guy in the picture awhile ago and she also talked to me about ending our marriage. She said not be with him but to be alone and independent. She also said that someone else could make me happier than her. I didn't handle it well and asked her to give us some more time and see if our marriage is the problem of if it is other things going on in her life. For the last 2 months she has shown me wonderful love like the old days and things are good except for ----well all the lying. I believe she is living a double life so to speak.

After doing a lot of soul searching and reading on this site what other women are going through internally I realize and accept the possibility that she may not want to be married to me anymore. I don't understand why because we do get along great but I am willing to accept it. I think maybe she is just loving me out of her responsibility to love me. I feel much like I am one of our teenagers where she does her best to make sure we have everything and are happy but what drives her is the other double life.

What I need advice on is how to talk to her about this. I don't know how to start that will not make her defensive and end up in an argument. I want to let her know that I will be OK, if she wants to leave me even thought I think it would be a mistake. I cannot go on living like this where she tells me she is working the weekend away and I know she is lying and is somewhere else. Believe me - I want her to be happy but I can't handle the feeling of being lied to by the one I cherish so much.

A husband

Confession #2657

I hate my husband's orgasm face. I think he either looks like he's in extreme pain or about ready to go to the bathroom. I always try to make sure he isn't facing me when he comes because it totally ruins the mood for me.

Confession #2658

I want you! Not him, not the man i have been married to for 14 years. You are a shit. I know that. I don't care. I want you. Not him!

Confession #2659

No you never hit me with a closed fist, but you did push me and you have thrown things at me and for some reason you never realized that it was the disrespect that hurt the most, not the pain. I'm glad it has stopped but I still think about it often.

I don't know what to think about that girl you met before we got married. Whether you did or not, I've just accepted that fact that you probably cheated and I've just moved on. I shouldn't have let myself do that.

You are a great Father to your daughter, but part of being a great Dad means helping your wife actually take care of your children. Not just playing and doing the fun stuff all of the time. I'm tired of being the bad guy who gives baths, stuggles to dress her and asks her to sit quietly at restaurants.

You think that money means everything, but it means nothing to me. I was happy when I had none and I wish you didn't think it was so important. It has brought nothing but trouble into out lives.

You have an anger problem and you know it but you won't do anything about it. I can make an appointment for you, but if you don't really want to make the changes yourself then there is nothing I can do.

And for some reason, I still love you as much as I did 9 years ago. I still get excited about you coming home, I love to be with you, we have the most amazing sex EVER and that you still find new ways to show me that you care.

I just hope that is enough to see us through our problems. I really do.

Confession #2660

I dream every night about being with another woman. not just sexual but sensual and sweet and romantic. I wake up sad when I realize that is not my life. I get even sadder knowing I will never have that chance to be with a woman.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

#2659 - Great sex is never enough to hold a relationship together, especially when your partner is abusive. I don't care how great a father he is; he's put his hands on you, and your daughter is going to grow up think this is normal.

Please, get some counseling together. Go for yourself if he won't go with you. But please, for your daughter's sake, go, and stop the cycle of abuse once and for all.

Anonymous said...

#2656: I'd send her this confession.

Anonymous said...

2655, why not cut the ties now? Are you lying to yourself about him?

Anonymous said...

To husband, I agree give her the confession, or just tell her you will be ok and when she says about what, tell her you will be ok if she wants to leave. I am going through this, now, too, about not sure if I want to be married to my husband anymore. He is a good guy, ok with the kids, great provider, but there isn't a spark, ever lately. I am not being open to him, just walking around him and he knows it. Maybe I will talk to him now. I just wish he would tell me he will be ok. Good luck.
Me

theo said...

2653 - I know the feeling. . .

2655 - Why wait? You just wanna see the look on his face when you nail his ass?

2656 - No great wisdom; but my heart goes out to you. . .

Anonymous said...

#2656 Your wife is trying to leave you and is most probably cheating on you. Most men/women will not end an marriage without being involved with someone else first....its typical. It sounds like your wife is just waiting to get caught so the marriage will end with a bang.
You were jealous and accused her of things she didnt do for years...probably for good reason too and she might be living out your accusations right now.
So, turn her loose. It might make her realize what she has now.
Its what I did with my wife and Im a better man because of my own actions instead of waiting for my wife's actions to "burn the house down" instead.
Turn her loose, make it an amiable break if you can. Either way, your looking like the fool to everyone else that actually knows what she is up to.

Anonymous said...

Husband:

I agree, show her your confession. The only thing I would add is that you ask her to try couple counceling just to make sure she isn't throwing away the marriage for the wrong reasons i.e. maybe it's not the marriage that's the problem but something else that has her troubled. It could turn out that she needs you a lot more than she or you thought.

Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

2656, I hate to say it, but she's probably being great and loving like the old days because she's having an affair. It's making her happier, and between that and the fear of getting found out, she's being extra nice to you.

If you genuinely want her to be happy, just let her know that you'll be okay. My ex did that, and it was the best thing he ever did for me during our marriage.

A Former Adulterous Wife

2655 said...

2655 here. I wait because other than the online activity, he is wonderful to be with. The sex is the best I've had in my life, he treats me like a queen, he caters to my every need, he has a great sense of humor, he's highly intelligent, great company, and a very handsome man. I absolutely love being with him; best relationship of my *life* (and I'm 50 years old). So I'm soaking it up while I can. Yeah, he has that one flaw. He's not perfect. But neither am I.

Speech festival said...

Confession #2651 - I could have wrote this.

Anonymous said...

Dear A Husband

I am also going through the same thing as your wife seems to be going through, not sure I want to be married anymore. After about 2 years of feeling this way, I started having an affair. It sounds like your wife is having an affair. I have said all of the same things to my husband about wanting independence and freedom. Maybe it's menopause, midlife, whatever. You can't fix it for her. If you want to keep your marriage even after a possible affair, then you need to keep communicating. The only other thing I can suggest is to let her go and see if she comes back to you. My husband won't let me go, but if he did, I am sure I wouldn't go back. Best wishes.

Anonymous said...

An update of "A husband" #2656

Thanks to all the respondents. I like the idea of letting her read this confession. But before my story was posted something happened. I confronted my wife on a couple of lies she was saying in the most loving way I possibly could. At first she was very defensive but I did my best to let her know that she didn't need to lie to me, if there is things that she wanted to do she should tell me (or not tell me if it wasn't important). If I disagreed with things she wanted to do so be it but at least there would be no deception, which automatically puts a divide in a relationship. I just told her that if we were going to spend the rest of our life together then we needed to be able to be honest and be able to count on the other. She seems like she has understood and acts like she has figured herself out. She has had some long talks with friends and family and has said she is sorry and relized she was lost. She was lying because she wanted to do things on her own and not be accountable and was afraid I would not understand. She wasn't having an affair but was acting like a single woman. Not to find other men but to be independent.. I can understand now after talking how much she wanted and needs to feel that way. I feel for her. She wasn't lying about everything but somethings. It was good that I had some proof because she tried to deny it at first but couldn't when I held the line. It was hard. I prayed alot before it. I told her if she wanted a divorce she can have it but I would still like her to be able to be honest with me. Having someone you love so much lie to you is so hurtful. I think she is changing....and it seems so real. I think she has found a balance between feeling free and independent and still be in a loving and committed relationship.

Anonymous said...

#2656 - Please, please, please talk to your wife. Or show her what you wrote. You can't make her happy and you can't make her stay if she doesn't want to but you can talk to her. She has to make herself happy and then want to be with you. Ask her the tough questions point blank. It's not going to be easy and you have to be prepared to hear her answers. One or both of you may cry. But if you have the courage to face things straight on you may be able to reclaim your marriage. It takes two people to make a relationship work but only one to make it go bad. I've been where your wife is. At the end, I told my partner that I wish I had been able to tell him sooner that I was so unhappy and that I wish I had found the courage to tell him I was involved with someone else. It takes a long time to get over the shame and guilt of an affair.

Anonymous said...

2656,

I'm not always one for happily ever afters, so I'll keep it real with you. Your woman wants to be married, but she doesn't want to be a wife. What she is doing, allowing dishonesty to poison your relationship, is extremely abusive.

Assuming you're not overly possessive or stopping her from working, there is NOTHING that a marriage keeps her from doing other than fucking/seeing someone else. So this "freedom" and "independent" talk is code for only one thing. I'll let you figure that part out.

Many times a lot of these types of problems can be traced to a general disappointment with one's life. A person sits around comparing their present life to the dreams they had in their teens and early 20s. If their present life doesn't match up, no matter what it might be, they get very depressed, feeling like they settled and are missing out on everything. They need to set themselves "free" and go experience life. I don't know if that fits your circumstance, but there is only one thing that kills a marriage: your partner not living up to your expectations...whether they are reasonable or not.

Do be the understanding husband, letting her know no matter what, you can be there for her and you will be OK either way. Don't begin internalizing her bullshit.

Anonymous said...

2660-
I dream of being with a woman also. I talked to my husband about it and he said that I should experiment. Maybe if you talked to your husband about it, he to would accept that you would like to try new things.