When your work clothes are not clean on Monday... I didn't forget to wash them... I am just getting even. You T.V. watching, Poker playing fool...Did I say that? Hummmm
I really hate it when you call me from work, or I call you at work...and you can barely summon up the decency to tear yourself away from your computer screen and be civil for all of one minute. It is really rude and dismissive and it makes me want to throw the phone across the room.
We've been through a hell of a lot together. When we said "In
sickness and in health," the Universe took us at our word. We've
gone through you being so ill I feared you would die, bankruptcy, and
now my disability. I have two husbands, only one legal, and you both
are amazing. The first bit was to my legal spouse; to the other one,
you took us in when we had nowhere to go, and you are helping us
scrape through as husband #1 retrains to a job that can't be shipped overseas.
I love you both so much.
And I'm in so much pain I can't make love to either one of you. And
that hurts more than any physical pain could.
You think we have plenty of money in the savings account. In reality,
I have credit cards you do not know about and the savings account is
empty. I'm addicted to shopping and spending, I can't stop. I tell
lies to cover up the big purchases and hide the little ones. I want to
stop. I want to tell you all about it. I just cannot bring myself to
face the truth. I try to stop but I can't seem to. I'm afraid you'll
leave me when you find out. This is one reason I'm so ready to get
back to work after having our precious son 6 months ago, I want this
debt gone and to be able to buy things with cash not credit. I'm sorry
I've lied, I love you so much. Always and forever.
When you ask a girl to marry you, you don't say "I'm going to be in town this weekend, so you know what we can do..." I honestly thought you were asking me to go see a movie. It wasn't until you told me you had made an appointment to apply for a marriage license and reserved the time with the Justice of the Peace that I realized what you meant, and by then I didn't want to go through the hell you would have given me if I had backed out.
Can't take much more. Want to run and hide. Just a day off from the rhetoric of what I am not doing for you. Can't even make sense of what I am about anymore. Tired of hearing how I don't treat you with the respect a "husband" deserves, that I should be a good "wife", and that I henpeck. How many wives never say a word when their husbands are out until four am weekly. Then the week after I had our child you started telling me that I am not a good wife because I didn't want to have sex with you. A c-section and childbirth were just an excuse. Still don't want to hear the request for sex. Your insensitivity is hard to forget. The worst is when you tell me I should be happy, I have a baby and central ac. What more could a gal want! Grrrrr!
I know I haven't always been the easiest person to live with. I always seem to be wanting something "more". I am sorry if I never showed you, how much you truly mean to me. I'm sorry if for one second I made you think you were anything but the best husband and father in the world. I appreciate everything that you do, everything that you have done for us. I love you honey, more then I could ever begin to tell you. I am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. And that you choose to spend the rest of your life with me. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I promise to you that I will be more grateful, and I will take the time to tell you all that you do right. I will tell you how much I truly do love you. You are the love of my life.
I wish you had the slightest fucking clue how much I long for a little emotion from you. A little passion, a little compassion, a little romance...goes a long way. That's why I started screwing my ex again.
You want to have sex every day in the middle of the afternoon and so we do
it on my lunch break. The first time was kinky, the second time was cute,
now I just do it becuase I know if I don't you will just masturbate after I
go back to work and resent me for not giving in.
You can be such a bastard. When my brother called me tonight because he needed my help with something and you got all pissed off and said "why doesn't he get a brain and figure things out for himself? Why does he think this is your problem?" Then I defended him saying he didn't know how to file a damage claim with ups--he's only 16 for fuck's sake.
You bring up my dad after berating my brother --big mistake bee-otch. He was there for me last night (and 3 nights ago) when you got drunk and started yelling at me when I asked you to calm down and talk quitely. He also convinced me not to call the cops and tell them you were driving drunk--you should thank him. So yea, he is my *precious daddy* He's not perfect but he's also not the one yelling at me everynight, screaming about things on the news that have nothing to do with you- then insisting that I am the one that starts all these fights. I just wanted you to calm down b/c of your high blood pressure. I bet drinking isn't helping that either. You bitch about the decay of society; do you think alchoholics are contributing to the good of society?
Why do I have to do everything for you?! You refuse to do anything at all. You leave your dirty clothes and dishes in the livingroom, leave piss dribbles on the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet--who the fuck do you think cleans that up asshole? You won't even fucking make yourself something to eat... it's not cute or your way of showing me you need me, you're just fucking lazy!!
I'm not your mommy, your maid or your cook, if you want something to eat, go look in the stupid 1950's fridge you know the one with the broken latch that you insist on keeping b/c "it's built the way a fridge should be" yeah the door is held closed with duct tape shirt for brains! It eats power like nobody's business-funny how you care so much about the fucking enviorment but have refused to replace the piece of shirt for the past 4 years! Speaking of your mommy, how is the bitch? Oh, that's right she left you and your sibs for that child molesting asshole that's now rotting away in prison. She wants nothing to do with you--and I do think that is sad but I also think that because of her psyco behavior, she's not worthy of being called Mom.