Confession #361
I know you don't want me to see the man we swapped with because his wife is out of town and this is suppose to be a couples thing, but if he calls I'm seeing him. I love you more than I've ever loved any man but I can't get him off of my mind.
Confession #362
I walked away.... I believed I had valid reasons, just like I believed that we would end up together forever. I could never have imagined that you would die less than a year later. And now after 10 years without you, I still look around and sob when I can't find you.
Confession #363
You know, flowers are still acceptable to give to your wife. I'm not asking for dozens of red roses, but you'd be amazed at the power of a simple thoughtful gesture like this. It would make me so very happy, but you say it is a waste of money.
Confession #364
I make up complaints about you when I'm with my
friends. They don't believe me if I talk about
how well we really get along or how wonderful you
really are to me. I don't want to lose my
friends, so I make up complaints, and the sad
part is that they still wonder how they can get
their husbands to act the way you do. I'm sorry
and I love you.
Confession #365
I am not married. But you are. She's gone now. Halfway around the world. My biggest fear's are that I will never be what she once was to you: Youre wife-(second time around will be old news); youre first born. Im scared to ask you when you will legally be divorced because i fear that you will tell me that she is coming back, with the baby, and we will be over. So i will let these questioning thoughts eat away at me. They hurt a lot less than the thought of being without you.
Confession #366
I started smoking again, after 5 fucking years, because of you, you stupid asshole. Right now, it's only in need of some serious emergency soothing. Hope it just stays like that, or until the pack runs out. I had to go drive to the park & ride late at night just to smoke one and stare at the moon. To think about the guy who I stopped seeing when I met you, stupidly. Whose number is still in my cell. The only one who knew just how to touch me,the one I think about every time i watch "the notebook", the one you should 've taken notes from. G-d, I'm such a shmuck for giving that up for you...
Confession #367
Every morning when I wake up, I think of him. He is my first thought in the morning, my last thought at night. Then I get angry with myself and try to focus on you. You deserve a wife who wants to be with you. I want to stop thinking about him, but I can't. I have not been unfaitful with my body, but my mind is somewhere else every day.
Confession #368
I wanted to cry when I found out you felt as though you disappointed me. Times were tough and I'm so glad we pulled through, but I know now I let you down when you needed me most. I was so scared. I thought I was worried about you, but there were times when I was more worried about myself-what would it mean to ME if you changed. We both have our problems, but you are fabulous. What we have together is better than I ever dared to hope for. You've done so much for me, but I let you down. For that I am so ashamed. I will never be able to apologize enough. Sometimes I think I really don't deserve you.
Confession #369
I lied at the doctors office the other day.....again. "will he be here to take you home after the treatment?" um, no he is out of town. when they took me back to the room some materials where there about resources for the single parent. they know i lie about where you are. and when you call during and i try to be brave and say i feel ok after i have puked a few times, and you know i feel bad and you say "i don't know what but i am going to do something nice for you tonight" and i get so happy with those words, and i am pathetic because you did not do anything nice. and when the treatment was done, the nurse said, "honey, please make sure there is someone here next week to give you a ride home"
Confession #370
When I say that I think you're the most wonderful guy on the planet, I mean it literally. I love you.
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4 comments:
#361 - I know you have an arrangement with your husband. but having this kind of sexual freedom and STILL throwing it in your husbands face when its supposed to be something your shared together is MUCH worse then "regular" cheating. these choices are going to come back to haunt you one day. this is probably the best example of how "sharing" or open marriage is a bad idea.
#367 - I want to do the whole thing where I talk about how the grass is NEVER greener and ask how you would feel if it was the other way around. but thats all pointless... you are not doing anything wrong, and its actually natural... you cant help it. but dont make it more then it is. this is how it starts, pretty soon his smile is going to mean more to you then watching your husband play with your daughter (i dont know if you have a daughter but you get my point) and your going to start missing out on life. your going to be thinking of him while the rest of your family is having fun and making memories at christmas or whatever. then it is going to affect your marriage...youll stop responding to you husband. he will lose value in your eyes because you mind is on another man. the other man will be right and your husband will be wrong. and then it will go overboard and youll cheat or leave your husband for him. then you will find out the hard way... that he is nothing like you think he is and your husband was the better man all along...wayyyy better. but it will be gtoo late because you ruined it because your were off in middle school dream land instead of living.
#366 you current partner might suck... and it is probably helping you idolize your old partner in your head. dont do that... try to fix what you have instead of remember a few good moments with your ex and rewriting the relationship as if the entire thing was a good as the random moments you chose to focus on.
Hey there ; ) wow is this what it's like to be married? Interesting indeed...
Loncey-
No this is not what it's like to be married for everyone!!! It's Love, growth, acceptance, honesty and so much more, it's having someone that's got your back! Yes there are ups and downs and hard work but it's so worth it =D
361 - Since this is a re-run of something that ran a while ago, I'm curious. . .
Did he call?
If so, did you go?
If so, how'd it work out?
Just curious. . .
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