I've reached the end of my rope. I am no longer in
love with you. Your fart jokes are no longer amusing.
When you touch me, I just want to push you away. I am
in love with someone else. The only reason why I keep
you around is for the paycheck, as shitty as it is. As
soon as I start making more money, your ass is gone.
I really think it is your job to teach our little boy how to ride a bike. The fact that you have never taken the time to teach him how is driving me insane! Especially since you spend at least 15 hours a week on yours!
Couldn't you, just once, say SOMETHING during sex? Tell me I'm pretty, tell me I'm hot, tell me I smell great, tell me I turn you on...SAY SOMETHING--even if you have to lie a little bit! Your moans and groans just don't always do it for me...throw me a frickin' bone, PLEASE? Haven't you ever read a magazine article about women and sex before--it all starts in the brain, my love! Tickle me THERE before you go anywhere else! Maybe if you had been saying that kind of stuff all along in our 20 years together, I wouldn't have gained all this weight. I would've known I was attractive and not just some lump you want to screw a couple of times a week just because I'm there.
Why is it that you can do that fantasy role playing with your friends and
on-line but you can't role play with me in bed?
I am leaving you because I hate your fu*&ing kids
You have absolutely no right to complain about our sex life when you turn down shower sex all the time simply because you don't like to bathe. Oh, and no, I won't put my mouth there till you're clean. Why is this hard to understand?
It really hurts when I tell you exactly how I want you to make love to me
yet you never listen. You start us right back into the same position doing
the same thing. Maybe a little change won't make it feel like such a chore
Sometimes when you sleep, I lay by your side and start to cry. I picture what it would be like if you died in a tragic accident. To be honest, I don't think I could keep on living if that happened.
What guy walks around with hair down to his butt anymore? Oh, you're keeping it REAL, staying true to your ROCKER ROOTS? God, even Tommy Lee has short hair these days. You look like a woman. A really ugly woman. And I'm sick of everyone thinking we're lesbian lovers. It's embarassing. YOU'RE A TINY, SKINNY MAN. You cannot pull off super long hair. CUT IT, you 80s hair metal band looking reject.
Your breath stinks 24 hours a day. What died in your mouth? Maybe you should see a doctor. Why do you think I keep mints in both cars and almost every room in the house? If you get into bed and want to have sex with me one more time without gargling first, I am going to puke on you. How can you not be aware that your mouth stinks that badly?