You made love to me for the first time in months last night. I’m amazed at much more positive I feel today. Thank you and please, please, please don’t let it be the last time for months.
I've wanted to say this out loud for ages. I didn't have one affair - I had two. You were jealous for all the right reasons. I don't miss you or our marriage. I never cheated before on anyone in all my life, but with you I did it twice. Bizarre to me. I'm not proud of any of it, but I also don't regret any of it either.
I've been trying for the longest time to live everyday to its best. The best of you, the best of me, the best of us. Things you seem to make it difficult to do sometimes. Coming home from work and yelling at me because you can't find the remote after I've been washing your field clothes is an inappropriate way to great your wife. Eating in front of the television is inappropriate when your wife and daughter are seated at the table. When out with friends, you do not ask other women to dance in front of your coworkers, they talk to their wives who talk to your wife, its also disrespectful. If the shoe was on the other foot you wouldn't of spoken to me for a week or more. Then not telling your wife until the incident is brought up by a wife of a coworker is shady, stupid and tends to stitch seeds of distrust.
Writing emails to your wife about a woman you met over seas is stupid, why the hell am I still lecturing you. I should just leave you, poor pitiful you. You can deal with all your issues then, you can pay your bills, cause no- my name isn't on anything. After I saw how you acted while I was pregnant, I didn't know if I wanted to be trapped with you. So learn to balance your check book and you should really figure out what you are doing with your future cause I'm not taking anymore online classes for you either. I've earned 2 degrees mine and now yours.
Stop making me feel guilty for you making me feel like shit too, that is so lazy- Homer Simpson'esque. Stop trying to live like your single friends, no "cool kid" drags their wife and child around so they can drink. If drinking is so important that you have to miss out on a day of your daughters life, who you just spent THE LAST YEAR WITHOUT, then let me know cause I can be gone quicker then closing your eyes.
OH and one last thing, when you decided to tell me that you don't have time to talk to me, find a better damn excuse then "I'm watching a movie," cause guess what jackass... I give you an allowance- I have control of your money. I have a power of attorney for your house, cars and the damn air you breath. Smarten up.
I told you I wasn't upset with the news that you have a blind date tomorrow night. To be honest, I really am not upset. Ok, I guess a little bit, but this is not a great love we have between us. I know we have a great friendship and you are only the second man to ever actually listen to what I have to say. We have been dating for 5 months and it has be tough because of our schedules and living an hour apart. I never really thought that it would go on for this long, especially because it is an issue when my kids are home. You don't want to be here if there is a chance they will see us together. I can understand that but at the same time, I am a single mom, living in a new area without many friends close by. Their father isn't that involved in their lives. What would you like me to do?
I don't know if I should be flattered or appalled with the fact that you want to know if in the future, once you are done school and established, if you are single you can contact me so we can give it a-go again.
Yes. Its true. I do use the last piece of toilet paper and not replace the roll on purpose.
Its simply because I love to watch you waddle across the house to the closet with your pants around your ankles.
You look like a penguin.
I love you.
You thought you were fooling me with all of the scandalous things you’ve done. Well I got news for you anything you can do please believe I can do and a whole lot better just ask your best friend. And all of the things you said you heard about me…most of them were true. Have a nice life sweetheart because I sure am.
its ridiculous that you wont go down on me. your excuses are lame. you had a bad experience? hello, IM NOT HER! vagina's have "a certain taste"? you think your d**k doesn't? plus I've suggested flavored gels and things.. i could go on and on with the things i do for you or let you do to me that I'm not particularly fond of.. some things i downright hate actually! but i love you, and relationships are balanced by compromises.. but it cant be one sided like this! you can expect me to take some things off of our "sexual" table until you add to it. and if you make one more comment about how you don't like how big my boobs are, ill find someone who appreciates them! most girls pay for breasts like mine!
other than that, you're perfect.
I miss you. I know you need this time and so do I to figure out if we can work out our relationship. But it hurts. And though it was my decision to break it off it takes every once of strength not to tell you I miss you. You have to take this time to know for certain what's real between you and me. And how we can make it work. I miss your voice, your smile, the way you kiss and touch me. The sound of your voice, the look in your eyes when we are together. The way you make me feel. I thought by now my feelings for you would subside but they've only grown stronger. I don't want anyone else, I can't even look at another man without thinking of you. I hope this is worth it. I hope you do come back soon. I know you care, I know it hurts you. I can see the pain in your eyes when we talk. Even though we are surrounded by other people, you just want to be with me. You want to hear about what's going in my life. A few stolen moments together but we not alone. But you never mention her anymore to me. I know you are wondering the same thing. But it's over between him and me. But I don't mention him either. It's just about us. I love you and know you love me. Just come back soon. I want to start our life together. And I want to stop the pain in my heart. I want to kiss you again.
Call your mother, I don't want to. I have a mother and she is nice, your's isn't. So there.
Love Me (big smile)
The other night when we were watching TV, I stepped outside for a smoke. I ran into our next door neighbor in the back yard. He's so cute and young. I've been flirting with him since last fall. Anyway, one thing led to another and I went down on him right in the back yard. Did you wonder why having a smoke took 20 minutes?
I sat on the couch next to you with his taste still in my mouth. I'll do it again if I can.