Saturday, December 08, 2007

Saturday SexChat TWC Dec 8th Edition

Another excellent Question:


"How do you know if you would be able to handle a threesome? We've talked about it several times and thinking of it certainly turns me on. I wonder if, come show time, i would be able to watch my husband (of five years) be sexually intimate with another woman. I wouldn't want to go through all the trouble of planning it and inviting someone to join us only to freak out."

And in other news, I suspect that Google/Blogger has deleted Desperately for being "too racy", although I have not gotten any official notification.

Sorry for my "lag" last week - papers to read, child out of school for all but two days - You know. Same old, Same old.

Keep sending in those confessions!

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

ahhhh no more Desperately??? That was one of the funniest blogs ever!! That blows.

Anonymous said...

No more Desperately??? :cry: I'm so sad!

Threesomes - I don't think I could handle it, but that's me. I've heard they cause problems between the "couple". IF (and that's a huge IF) we ever decided to do it, I'd rather it be two men and me. LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

I too am devastated by the loss of Desperately. Best blog ever.

Personally - and I acknowledge that I may be roasted and toasted for saying this - I think that if you have to ask if you could handle it, the answer is probably no. And further, I suspect that if the answer is probably no, the end result will probably not be a good thing for anyone involved.

Anonymous said...

if you end up moving desperately somewhere else, please let us know... i will miss that blog!

Anonymous said...

HELLO WOULD LIKE MAKE A COMMENT ABOUT THE THREESOMES IF I WAS A WIFE AND DECIDE TO PICK SOME ONE TO BE INVOLVE IN MY SEX LIFE TO MAKE MY LIFE ENJOYABLE UCH AS A GIRL FRIEND OR IF I WAS SEE A GUY AND MY HUSBAND DOESNT MINE I WOULD PUT H LET ME NOT FINISH THIS PART WHY WOULD A WIFE GET A THREESOME WHEN ONE IS ENOUGH I DON;T SHARE BECAUSE WHAT GOES AROUND COME BACK TO YOU I WOULD MIND IF MY HUSBAND IS SHARING ME HE HAVE TO CHOOSE THAT PERSON MUST THINK OR HAVE THE TOTAL PACKAGE WHICH YOU WILL NOT FIND,.

Sarah said...

First things first--I will definitely miss "Seeking Desperately"--the comments! The photos! Simply hilarious.

Secondly, my long-time boyfriend and I have had a threesome, and oddly enough, HE was the one who ended up getting jealous watching ME with another woman!! My advice is this: set some ground rules first--what's allowed, what's not allowed, set a signal that you can use if either of you sense the other is going too far, etc. If you are confident in yourselves and in your relationship, it should be fun all around.

Anonymous said...

@ 5:13

Punctuation can be your friend...or your enemy.

Dawn said...

Desperately updates - I think that the blog is being reviewed - but that as it is NOT spam, they should reinstate it. I've written google

If they do not, I will move it to a new domain/address (Which I have already bought/reserved.)

Desperately, like many penises, will rise again!

Anonymous said...

I loved that blog... I hope you can get it back!!!

CFT said...

Hubby and I have talked about 3somes. We know people who have done them. As someone else commented, if you have ANY doubts now, it's only going to get worse, from my experience.

Rules need to be set and adhered to strictly. It might be better to find a 3rd party that you do not know and will not see again. If it's a friend, this could be a problem for you all in the future.

Hubby and I have agreed that neither of us would be able to handle the emotional fallout of a 3some so it is off the table. My good friends who had one last year had a really tough time getting over it as well.

D said...

i would suggest only doing this when you're in brazil and drunk off your asses. having married friends who have done this i know that in a marriage, introducing a third party is a destabilizing force. that doesn 't mean you will fall apart but expect some turmoil. the brazil thing was only a half-joke. basically, if you want to experiment you HAVE to be willing to give each other a one-time pass. if you like it, great. otherwise, anything that goes down, you won't hold it against them. it takes a lot of mental strength to pull that off so you have to know yourself and if you're capable of letting it slide. three other things:

1) fantasy talk. during sex, use dirty talk about him having sex and getting oral from some other chick. even though it's just talk if you don't flip out that might be a good sign.

2) have sex with a woman/another couple watching. DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH THEM THE FIRST TIME. just go at it in front of them...the woman might masturbate or the other couple might even do stuff too. this could help you build up your comfort level of involving other people or it will bug you out and you'll know it's not for you.

3) think of something you are absolutely OK with and start with that. for instance, you might consider a hand job nothing too serious. so book your man a massage with a "happy ending". you can watch or kiss him during the finale. from that, you might work up to other things.

basically, take fun, flirty baby steps that you can recover from first. the experimenting will be fun but not fatal.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't do it. I ruined a marriage that way. He wanted the open swinging life style and pressured me to it. Strangely the result was me loving it and him becoming possesive and throughing up huge double standards. (IE it's ok for him to go out and have random sex and pick the threesome partner with out consulting me, but all my decisions have to have his sign off) Unless this is something you've wanted yourself without his prompting, leave it the hell alone. Hell, even then I would leave it the hell alone,

Anonymous said...

I have not fully done a "threesome" - but I did have sex with a man in front of his wife - she watched, but did not participate.

That was Great!

However, it was a one time kind of thing.

I have discussed a threesome with my partner and he says he is willing ( 2 guys and me) but I don't know. I think it is almost better if this is a fantasy that is either done as a one time thing - where you don't really see the other people again, or done on your own - Preferably with permission from your partner.

However, I do believe that these are the types of things which need to be thought about. The other thing we have talked about is going to a couples club where we have sex in front of other people. We have wondered if that would satisfy some of our curiosity without the full committment of three people.

Bottom line, though, is that you feel Good - regardless of what you decide. Sex should be playful and joyful - and it is all right to explore things.

nicole d. said...

I have been the third person in a WWM threesome. It happened a long time ago and ruined a very good friendship because I am still not over having participated. It would be ok with people I would never see again. The couple with whom I partook in the threesome are married and have done that many time with men and women. If I was in a relationship and my partner wanted to do that I could not do it. I don't like to share.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I swapped once and although my husband doesn't know this, it took me almost a year to stop thinking about the other man. So no, I would NOT recommend a threesome. You've only been married for 5 years! Spice up your sex life another way. 99% chance you will regret this.

Anonymous said...

I think if you are worried that you will be jealous of your husband being with another woman, you should just ask him if it would be all right to just let him watch while you're with another woman, instead of both of you sleeping with her. You never know. He might say yes. That's more threesome action than most men get, anyway.

In any event, IMO you should both only do what you are sure you feel comfortable with. Protecting the stability of your marriage is much more important than fulfilling every fantasy.

Anonymous said...

Interesting timing! Just last week my husband and I set up an Adult Friend Finder account after lots of talk about a 3some. Four days in I got seriously cold feet and killed our account. I told him I just can't NOT compare myself to the babes on AFF and I also can't risk HIM comparing me or preferring one of them. I think 3somes are just better left as fantasy's.

IT Barman said...

The only way i think you can do this if to be completely open with each other, before during and after.

Its can be very damaging to a relationship, but also alot of fun if done properly. I would recommend not asking friends and always go for a third party you don't know of. Arrange to meet them first for drinks/dinner. Afterwards talk to hubby about it then arrange a second meeting if you are still feeling ok about going ahead with it, once again arrange to meet for drinks/dinner always in a public place to allow yourself and the 3rd to be relaxed.
allow yourself and the 3rd to get to know each other when back at home then allow hubby to join in when your ready.

Anonymous said...

I cannot speak first hand of every having participated in a threesome but my wife and I did have a few experiences with another couple. It was way too many years ago but we were in our twenties and married only a few years. I was in the Navy and my shipboard room mate and I became good friends and so did our wives who enjoyed each others company. Once particular evening we we over our friends house for drinks and cards. I don't remember how we transitioned but someone during the evening, we shifted from traditional poker to strip poker. I do remember I found it very stimulating, not only seeing the wife of my friend undress, one article of clothing at a time but also from seeing my wife undress and watching my friends reaction. I believe the first such strip poker game just ended in undressing and nothing more. We had gotten togethr other times where once the card game was played and everyone was undressed, the card game took on a new dimension. Now, those who lost the hand would be instructed by by the winner some type of sex act to perform. Initially, the instructions were between the husband and wives so it allowed us to have sex while watching the other couple do the same. Finally, the card game transitioned to losers providing instructions which crossed couple (he with my wife and me with his). I do remember this all happened spontaneously. There was never any discussion between us about doing this and where it was going. My friend told me after one session that he was suprised that his wife didn't object (I frankly was suprised my wife didn't either bringing us to the conclusion that the prospect of these sex games excited them as much it did us). When instructions were provided which involved having sex with our friends, the acts were strictly oral. My wife would give my friend a blow job and his would do the same to me. Once again, there was an unspoken rule, that during the blowjobs, the wives never took us to the point of cumming. As for us guys, it was also oral where the wives would sit on the sofa spread legged and we would eat their pussies. After one card game, we took it more step and we all went into their bedroom and 69'd on their bed (once again, me with his wife and he with mine). This time (again, unspoken) gave us blow jobs and made us cum. I remember my wife after having finished with my friend sitting up in bed and having cum dripping down her lower lip. We got together one more time (which turned out to be the last) at our place one nignt and shared oral sex in our bedroom. After that event, my wife told me she didn't want us to share sex with our friends any longer because she felt I was interested in it because I found my friends wife more desirable than her. We discussed it a few times afterward but she was hard set on her decision so I obliged and it ended. Since then, we had never had sex with anyone else.

Anonymous said...

Disgusting!

Anonymous said...

Wow 6:58am... that got me wet.

Anonymous said...

Anyone have a good experience?

Anyone?

Anonymous said...

For 11:54am ..... thanks for kind words, I was getting aroused just chronicling the events this morning. I though since the question was "would you?" I would try and capture the details and thoughts of our encounters. I didn't think leaving it vague would do it adequate justice. I guess with your comment, I should try my hand at writing erotic stories?

Anonymous said...

Seems like a threesome is one step from cheating. I could not do it but to each his own I suppose.

Anonymous said...

I had great experiences with threesomes in college, with my boyfriend and two different other women. I'm bi, and in both cases the other women were people I found very attractive, and we all had a great time.

Now that I'm older and married my husband and I had a threesome this year which was not as fun--mainly because the other woman was chosen by him, not by me. She's someone he has always had a crush on, which did make me feel jealous. But she wasn't interested in stirring up trouble at all, in fact she only agreed because she's attracted to me (she's also bi). The problem was, I'm not really attracted to her, so the sex turned out to be not very hot from my point of view.

We're going to try again with someone else, someone I have more chemistry with. We do see a couples counselor now and then to discuss this stuff. I highly recommend it. We have a great marriage overall and even though this didn't go perfectly the first time it is still worth trying again.