I haven't stopped loving you.
At least I think there's still some hope...
but I can't keep living like this.
I don't think I could ever find someone else who accepts me so completely
and loves me--all my many faults and all--the way you do
without ever asking me to change a single thing.
But I'm tired of being alone so much.
I know it's because of your job, and I know that's why you're so tired when you are home with us.
But there's no fun in our lives anymore, and you leave so much of the burden of the kids and the household on my shoulders.
Yes, you acknowledge me and thank me for it,
but I don't do it to exalt myself. I do it because it has to be done, and you aren't going to do it.
You've become so lazy, so ineffectual. It's like you've lost a large part of yourself somewhere and have no inclination to try to get it back.
So, I just don't feel the same way about you anymore.
I started seeing someone. It started innocently enough.
I don't love him, but I let myself pretend I do because it feels good.
Mostly, I just love the way he makes me feel. I don't want a life with him.
He isn't patient and giving the way you are.
He isn't as selfless as you can be sometimes.
He's not nearly as handsome as you are, and he isn't as professionally successful as you.
He isn't as smart as you, and not nearly as funny.
But I want a life where I feel the way he makes me feel.
He's an amazing lover,
and he knows how to touch me in a way that you have never learned. (No matter how many times I have tried to tell you and show you.)
What you do makes me uncomfortable and doesn't feel good. But you still do it, and act surprised and hurt when I try to explain it to you. It's been 10 years, and you still keep doing the same old things that I hate. You don't get it, and you don't even try...
I've been kind about it...I've been gentle...so I really don't understand.
But he gets it. And he's so good.
And he loves spending time with me and wants to be with me,
in the way you only talk about anymore.
I know you love me still. Why can't you show me that anymore? Where did you go?
Until you return, I'm going to continue with him. I really hope no one gets hurt. I just need more than you are willing to provide and I have to find it somehow. Otherwise, I probably will stop loving you altogether.
My Husband went to jail this morning for domestically abusing me. I refused to press charges, but in this state, you call the police, they come and someone gets arrested. Part of me is relieved, because now maybe he'll think about the situation, and get some help. Part of me is ashamed, because now our neighbors know. People will know!
I feel like one of those woman on television. The ones I used to shake my head at, and wonder why they didn't just fucking leave. Now I know, Leaving just isn't fucking easy, that's why.
I love him, I don't love the part of him that hits me, but I still love him. Please pray with me that he gets the help he needs to become a better partner.
I am getting more and more depressed living with you. You are a condescending, patronizing ass to me most of the time, and then you wonder wonder wonder why I never want to have sex with you. And why are you erasing the history on the computer, asshole? Don't think I won't find out why.
We broke up nearly 3 years ago... just because we're still in the same neighborhood and work in the same business complex does not mean we'll be "carpool buddies" for ever.
I'm so tired of being your +1 to every fucking event just because you need a ride. People STILL think we're together, they ask when we're getting married, they wonder why we're not more affectionate.
When your mother had a stroke, and I wasn't the one to immediately offer to rush you 3 hours away to be at her side, you had the nerve to give me a guilt trip about it. Then you tell me how your mom, father, brother, grandparents... they still think I'm your girlfriend... the fact that you showed up with your ex-wife caused a huge up-roar in your home town and I'm supposed to be concerned?
The day you looked me in the face, holding my hands, and admitted you weren't over her... that I was your best friend, but you didn't think about me "like that"... you lost out... yes I still worry and I am concerned... but guess what... it's not my problem... it's no longer my duty to take care of you, your son, or any of your family's feeling's, thought's or emotions.
Since we've broken up, we've done Weddings, Funerals, Retirement Parties, Baby Showers & Graduations... but I can almost guarantee... if your car was running, I wouldn't have been invited to any of these events...
Yes... our break up was not a train wreck, and I understand why we're not together.... but how are either of us going to move on if the entire world thinks were a couple?
Fix your damn car...
ive got this feeling that you have someone else. . .i know i shouldnt be feeling this way since the reason why you left the country was to have a better job so our child and i will have a comfortable life. . . but then every time i put down the phone i realized you havent said i love you back. . . maybe you where just in a hurry . .i love you. . . i can live without you. . . but i can't deal with it yet.
OK... been married, have 2 beautiful kids, now divorced (around 9 years),
and feelilng stuck.
Part of me is really happy to be on my own. I make a good living, but spend
too much money. I'm getting a handle on that, but other than that,
everything is good. I get along famously with the ex and his wife, the kids
are healthy and doing well, but dammit, JM... you really fucked me up in the
head about how I feel about myself.
I don't dare tell anyone about the married man I've had an affair with for
the past 8 years. It's not even like I see a lot of him... numbers don't
matter here... it's so wrong and I hate myself for it.
I also don't dare tell anyone about the married man in Texas. We've never
met, but there's been phone sex and probably about $200 in miscellaneous
cash and gifts this year alone! Shit... wait... there was a $150 necklace
that I returned to Wal-Mart, so make that $350 in gifts.
I want to kick both of these married men to the curb. Sex is great with the
first married guy. Holy shit it is awesome! But Texas guy sends presents.
I hate you JM. So glad we're not married anymore... but I still hate you.
I hate the married guy I fuck, and I hate the Texas guy for wanting to fuck
me. In all three situations, it is clear that I have no self-respect.
I've rebuilt my life after the divorce; how do I find my confidence?
I know you know. I went to a lawyer and I am just waiting for the bomb to drop before I leave. I gave him the down payment and told him how nice you have been to me. I'm going to go with the flow until the next time (there ALWAYS is). Your a good guy when you want to be. I just don't want to be your b~tch anymore.
I'm a whore for 2000.00$ a week.
I hope you play nice in the end for our kids sake.
I am so freakin tired of you treating me like the babysitter. I don't care that you go and do things on occassion but damn it would be nice if you'd ask first if we had plans or if I minded. After all I am staying home with OUR kids!!! They aren't just mine. I don't care that I am a stay at home mom you still need to show me some respect. And guess what buddy you aren't and haven't for a long time I am fucking tired of it and fucking tired of you. I only stay with you because I still have kids not in school full time. Mark my words tho... If you don't start getting better in alot of ways I WILL be leaving you as soon as that happens.
This morning before you left for work, you woke me up to check on my hives. You even put calamine lotion on me. You are so sweet. This is just another of the many reasons why I love you.
The other day you told me that you regretted ever marrying me. I finally realized that I will never be good enough for you. I gave you all of me and you broke my heart.