Tuesday, July 31, 2007

True Wife Confessions 199 reasons to love comics

Confession #1981

OK so you went to the parent teacher conference - had we been still married I know for a fact you wouldn't have gone. Heaven forbid you missed anytime from work while we were married.

What upsets me is when his teacher asked about the field trip on Friday and I asked when the money was due you didn't offer to pay for him to go. It was $9.00 freaking bucks. I had forgotten to pay it when I dropped him off on Tuesday morning. Then you had the nerve to tell me you didn't have any money on you after I asked you for a few buck since I only had a $5.

You then went to your car and grabbed a wad of money and gave me 4 $1.00 bills. All this after I said forget it I'll go to the mac and come back. You have him - you could have paid the money tomorrow. I paid the $15 for the last field trip - which I didn't mind since I knew how much fun he would have.

It's a shame that you love your money more then your son or your wife (now ex wife). Hell you don't even pay child support - and you make twice the amount I do. O excuse me, you pay for his daycare...big deal...

You claim we didn't have the money to fix up the house, yet now that I left it's all redone and there is a $3K plasma screen TV hanging above the fireplace. ASS...

Don't worry when our son is old enough to know the truth I am going to tell him why I left you. At that time, I hope he leaves your ass too.

You should be so lucky I'm not a blood thirsty money hungry girl - I know what I'm entitled to! However, once daycare is done being paid for and he's in public school - I will take you to your knees.

Confession #1982

I am afraid that last night was our last night together.
Maybe not forever?
I am so sad that you have moved, even though you are not really that far away.
It will change everything.
You make me smile in every way, inside and out.

I do love you, even though I have never told you.

I know that I can't make you love me.
It's killing me but I am trying to be tough.
I feel so alone.

I really do love you.

Confession #1983

You are the best boyfriend in the world. You are sweet kind and caring and faithful. I don't deserve you. Your last business trip- I was over at the neighbors house drinking with him and his wife. I got really drunk and His wife and I got naked and messed around why he watched. I just can't tell you about it. I think you would leave me. But I am so sorry and I will never let anything like that happen again.

Confession #1984

My husband drinks all of my soda. No matter when I open the drink he will drink all of it and leave a little sip. It used to bother the crap out of me but the more I think about it the more it makes me all tingly inside. If it wasn’t for him I would have 1,000,000 sodas open and unfinished. He definitely completes me. I love him with all my heart even if he drinks all my soda.

Confession #1985

I know fidelity is important to you. It isn't to me, though.

Our marriage would be over if I cheated, so I won't. I'm doing this
because it's important to you. I wish you knew that, but I'm glad you don't.

Confession #1986

My family told me it was my choice - them or you, and I picked you. I gave up everything and everyone I had loved for the past 25 years of my life to be with the man I was deeply in love with. They were angry that you were so much older than me - over twice my age - and that you were a different race. They didn't understand that you were the first person who I ever fell in love with, the first man who ever made me feel special, the only person I ever felt like I could talk to about absolutely anything. We had so much fun together and agreed on everything. And then you changed. Or maybe you were deceiving me all along. I gave you my virginity and you berated me for days saying that I couldn't have been a virgin. I guess I didn't moan enough for you. You gave me gonorrhea and then tried to break up with me, saying that I gave it to you, even though that isn't remotely possible since you are the only person I have ever had sex with, actually the only man I have ever even kissed. You get drunk every weekend and tell me that you don't love me, that you need to "get rid of me", as if I am some piece of garbage to be thrown out. Then you always apologize and want to make up, saying you were just drunk and didn't mean it. You told me to stop taking birth control pills, that you wanted us to have a baby together. So I did, but when I told you I was pregnant, you acted depressed and then later said you would have to get a paternity test. A paternity test!!! That is so hilarious. You're the one who gets drunk and goes to God knows where and doesn't come home until 2:30 in the morning, and you want a paternity test!! The whole time I was pregnant, you flip-flopped back and forth between loving me and saying you were sorry and then being drunk and jealous for no reason and calling me names. So much for feeling special, I couldn't possibly feel any lower about myself than I do now. I walk around with my eyes down to the ground so that you won't say I was looking at another man. If a man asks me a question in your presence I act completely retarded and don't even reply because you may say I was flirting with him and then I will have to pay for it later. I don't understand why there are these strict crazy rules for me, but you don't have to live by them at all. The other day you touched another woman's rear-end in front of me but later said you didn't remember doing it. Then there was the time you brought some woman into our house at 10 o'clock at night and asked me to fix her something to eat. Later I found out she was a streetwalker and when I got angry you said that you were "trying to help her" and that I was being a bitch. You do all this crap while I take care of our baby, work 40 hours a week doing a manual-labor job, keep the house clean, cook dinner every night of the week, do all the shopping/dr.appts/etc., work in the yard, and take classes online part-time. I am years from being 30 and already worn out. You are sweet (mostly) when you aren't drinking, but the rest of the time you treat me like pond scum. When I was eight months pregnant you took away the key to the house and kicked me out. I had to get a hotel room. Now our daughter is a year old and you still haven't changed. She loves you so much, and you are a good father, I'll admit that. But what about when she gets older and sees you drunk? You try to be careful, but that won't work forever. You are still an alcoholic, you still degrade me, control me, and tell me I'm a piece of crap. Not to mention that you have been promising to marry me since day one, but you now tell me you never will. You make twice the money I do but pay for nothing for our daughter and keep all of your money separate from mine. Our crappy little house needs so many repairs, but all you do on your weekends off from work is drink. Our car is even worse - no AC, the tires have no tread left on them, and I can't afford to pay for that too. Our daughter's bedroom is unusable and it looks like her crib will be staying in our room until she moves out for college. You don't know it, but I found out that your retirement and life/burial insurance are in your ex-wife's name. That is so pathetic because if you died she would roll your corpse into a ditch and keep the money for all of her new hairdos and manicures. I guess since you have made a fool out of me in life you plan to make a fool out of me in death. I have put all of my time and money into your house and your life, and none of it will ever belong to me. I never wanted your "stuff", just you, but I didn't get you either. You are two different people: the drunken you I despise and the sober you I still am terribly in love with. It's like I live two separate lives too, and one of them I can't talk about, not even to you. I wish you could be the drunken you all the time so that it would be easy to walk out the door and never see you again. I could get a bus ticket and go somewhere far away, take our little girl with me. No one would care, hardly anyone would notice, except for you when you wake up with a hangover and yell for me to bring you a goddamn cup of coffee. I don't have any friends because of you, no one to talk to. I thought we were soul mates, but I am so lonely and depressed. I want my daughter to have a happy, normal, fun life, and not to have a mom who is always anxious and sad. I just don't know if it is better for her to have a father like you, or no father at all.

Confession #1987

After I have been away for several days, and you - ALONE - since our daughter was at my moms.... Telling me how tired you are?

Fuck you.

Confession #1988

I cheated on my ex with my now husband and i cheated on my husband with my ex during the first month of our relationship, I guess you could say that I couldn't choose, but ultimately I did choose and I whole heartedly believe that I made the right desicion. How ever, I have never told either of them and I have no intention to. I love my husband with all I have to give and I can't bear the thought that I may loose him over a 3 month period of selfishness! Bash me if you will, Just know that I know I was wrong! I just wont tell that to them!

Confession #1989


Why do you insist on playing the part of a victim? I do so much for you, yet you doubt all of my abilities as a human being and a wife. I have completed by undergraduate and graduate degree in less than four years, I have made a career for myself and our family and you still only see my weakness. I know you are jealous of my success and accomplishments, you always have been.
You want me to be June Cleaver, Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Jenna Jameson all in one. I've got news for you, it won't happen!
You hate my male friends, when the truth is that your jealous of the way they care about me and actually listen to what I have to say. I am a beautiful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent, successful wife, mother, daughter and friend. You are the only one who can't see that. Differentiate already!
No, I will never divorce you, be careful though affairs just don't happen.


Confession #1990

Holding my hand and talking to me- really TALKING -last night? That is why I fell in love with you, that is why I married you. I just wish there was a way for us to do that more often. I might not feel so alone in this marriage.


Anonymous said...

1986- sounds like my husband - until the day I had enough and I packed my shit- I was never so serious in my life. But he cried and I stayed- now the tables have turned. He know and feels he has lost me- we've done the counseling thing and we communicate but once they rip your heart out and treat you like shit and realize when it's too late- it's just that too late. Thats why I cheat on him and have no remorse for it whatsoever. I suggest you try it.

Anonymous said...

1987- or when you keep the kids all weekend while they go on golf tournaments- and they come home worthless and want sex? Agreed - FUCK THEM!

Anonymous said...

12:31? 1987 here.

He asked for sex the same night. Cause you know, I was feeling all sexy from traveling all day and picking up our child and driving home....

Anonymous said...

1986-She would be better off with no father then that father. I had that father. You already do it all by yourself so why not do it all without having to deal with him too. At least you could get child support from him...maybe.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Anonymous said...

1986 - You don't need to stay with someone like that. Go back to your family, this guy is a jerk and doesn't deserve you.

Monie said...

Confession 1984 is so cute...

Anonymous said...


Me too. Did the exact same thing and feel just as stupid. I am so happy I figured it out before anyone found out.

Anonymous said...

1986: Honey, your daughter would be FAR better off without a father than to have what she has right now. You don't want her thinking this kind of behavior is okay from men do you? If he's that rotten, you need to go back to your family, admit you were wrong about the guy and move on. He's clearly a scum bag and if he's not already doing it, will probably start beating you soon. GET OUT.

1988: Yeah, don't tell them. If you are happy and don't want to hurt anyone...just keep it a secret forever.

Anonymous said...

1986: What your daughter needs most is for you to be strong enough to love YOURSELF and your little one and kick the scumbucket to the curb. If that means you have to take her and leave with just the clothes on your backs ... GO. The older your child gets the tougher it'll be to walk out, so do it now ... for both your sakes.

Anonymous said...

1986: GET OUT. You have nothing to lose. You're not even married to this P.O.S.

Anonymous said...

1986: Your family will take you back. Any man who treats his childs mother in the way you are being treated IS NOT A GOOD FATHER. Get out. Get out now. Pack a suitcase, get in the car and leave.

Anonymous said...


I obviously don't know your entire story, but please don't let the hate and disappointment you feel for your ex ever pass your lips to your child. You may hate him, but he's still that kid's father. You choose him and he choose you at one point, just try not to put that on the kid.

My parents told my sister and I all the things that the other did that hurt them and all it did was make me sick to have such selfsih parents.

Anonymous said...

i agree. My kids' dad is a piece of shit, but I'll never tell them that. They will be able to figure it out for themselves without me saying a word, just like his older daughter already has. If you badmouth him, even if you are right, they will resent you for it one day.

Anonymous said...

1986, to echo the others - Leave. He's a scumbag. Even if you have to go back to your family with your tail between your legs, it's far better than to be emotionally abused, like you are now. Your daughter is better off without him. Do you really want her to grow up thinking that it's ok for men to treat women like that? If not for your sake, then for her's, leave this man before he really hurts you. (And don't doubt for a second that he won't!)

Anonymous said...

1986- my mother was a better father, and I'm the POS's son...

get out!!!!

daughters learn from their fathers of what kind of men to find. Don't let your daughter be a victim. I was either lucky, or smart, and decided to get help. I was on the road to being an abuser.

Anonymous said...

1981 here -

I will let my son figure it out - he's 4 right now. I do not talk nasty to him about his dad - never have and never will. I don't even mention his dad to others in front of him. I'm just the opposite, I say good things to him about his dad.

I do believe that when my son is old enough (16, 17, 18) and begins to ask questions as to why his mommy and daddy live apart some of the truth will come out. But it'll be done in a respectful manner.

Divorce sucks when a child is involved and I will not hurt my child anymore then what he is/will be from this.

I don't ask his dad for anything other then to love his son. I am just outraged that money always seems to comes first.

Anonymous said...

1986: You MUST get your daughter out of that situation. You can't fix him or make it better.
Some people aren't just broken...they are ruined. He is one of them and if you don't leave soon you will be as well.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


I know it's easier said than done and it sounds like he has taken every piece of self-worth you have, but girl... muster up the strength and LEAVE. DO NOT LOOK BACK. YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS and so does your daughter. Tell yourself that everyday until you can leave. You are strong and capable and YOU CAN DO THIS.

He does not deserve you or his little girl. She will understand one day without you having to say a word.

Please.... GET OUT.... He will not change and he will only take more of YOU and eventually your daughter.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

1988: me too and I am marrying the one I chose next year. i only cheated with the ex, and some randoms (no sex) at the very, beginning, and I still 6 years later have so much guilt about it. i think I'm taking it to my grave as well... as should you!

Anonymous said...

1988 & 12:11 - agreed , a girl's gotta have some secrets ~~wink wink~~

Anonymous said...

1988 - don't ever tell them. Just know you learned from your mistake, keep it to yourself, and go on with your life. Be at peace.

1986 - your family said them or him because they love you and could see him for what he is. You're obviously a very smart girl. Do what is best for your daughter and YOU and get out of this abusive relationship. I've been there. You deserve better. I know you love the sober him - but the sober him isn't the REAL him. You can do it. Be strong. Pack up and go back to your mom. Get your feet beneith you. Be strong.

Melissa said...

I agree on 1988 and also think 1983 should never say anything either. I still carry a bit of guilt too over some things, but at least you realized you were wrong and aren't making stupid excuses! I'm right there with ya.

as for 1986, ditto what everyone else said. it's a no-brainer. GET OUT.

Anonymous said...

Please lift up your eyes and get out. I can tell that you have no self esteem now, but you can get it back and more. God Bless you and your little girl.
Your family will take you back, but first you must show them strength within yourself.Please think of someone else...your own flesh and blood..... she needs to come first always.......

Anonymous said...

1986: I'm with everyone else here. You've got to leave right now. He'll kill you and then where will your precious girl be? She'll be left with no one, her mother dead and her father in prison. Makes this situation a no-brainer, doen't it? Good luck, God speed.

Anonymous said...

She loves you so much, and you are a good father, I'll admit that.

Ditto what 4:29 PM said - no man who treats his wife like that is a good father. No matter WHAT he does. Which, come to think of it, isn't much - didn't you say YOU pay for everything?

I hope you find the self esteem and strength to leave. It is the ONLY option. There are NO other options.


Anonymous said...

1986: Please leave now, your family will welcome you back. Nobody deserves to be treated the way he is treating you; you and your precious little girl deserve so much more than what this scumbag is giving you. I know everything is not always so black and white, but girl, you need to take a good hard look at your situation. Please, please consider the awesome advice and feedback everyone has given you here. Take care.

Anonymous said...

I love 1984's comment. I married my friend and he completes me too. Even when he takes a bite out of a whole tomatoe and puts it back like I won't notice :)

Anonymous said...

#1985, #1983, #1986, #1988, #1989 all of you need to check out a website called survivinginfidelity.com which is an incredible and inspiring site for anyone whose been cheated on, has cheated or is considering cheating as an alternative. Check this site out and will bring incredible insight to you and be of great help even to those who are in generally bad marriages.

#1986 I think you know as many have said I think it's time to leave. Many times parents see thing we don't see.

Nathyn said...

#1988 I always get stuck on this issue. The thing is you did this before you were married. I don't want you to mess your marriage up either. I won't bash you but I do have a question that's been bugging me for a while.

People make a choice to cheat but their spouse doesn't get the choice to whether they want you or not. Even though you say you'll never do it again if the shoe was reverse and a man did this it would be "Once a cheater always a cheater."

I know a bit about the cheating mentality and it seems the same in men and women. But you do know what you did is wrong which does somewhat separates you from the hardcore "cheaters" who seek to justify there actions. But then again your justification is you choose the right guy, so in a way you're simply saying I was testing the waters.

I don't know what to say. I do hope your marriage goes well but this is how many modern marriages start off today. I have to ask though, if he cheats on you, will you be able to look back on your own past and forgive or will you treat him as an emotional criminal.

1:16 that may sound cute but is it a secret you'd want your husband keeping in the day of HIV and herpes, etc. (Life altering STD that don't show up for years). The answer is no. So why do people feel it's right to deprive your mate of the choice to leave or stay once you've made the choice to cheat. This is selfish and creates a poor start for a relationship, one based on "self" versus the whole.

And I know people will say I'm self righteous, judgmental or whatever but you will find that as time goes on this secret will either come out or be repaid. (The other party will cheat and the original cheater will act innocent and hurt). But people who cheat never believe they will be cheated on either.

And in the end there will be nothing but pain, divorce, hurt children, etc. It's almost always like this and it never changes. Believe me. This type of thing breaks my heart all the time.

Maybe I simply have too much empathy but the days of don't ask don't tell when it comes to cheating are over. This is post AIDS America people. Get a clue. And condom's are not 100% effective and not effective at all against Herpers and genital warts. Get a clue people. You are willing to hurt your lovers health. You have to ask is this okay?

Nathyn said...

#1986 WTF! Why should you have to leave, kick his ass to the curb! What the hell is wrong with people today! Who the hell treats their wife like this!

You can't stay with this a-hole! What am I missing here. You love him but he doesn't love you. He won't love you, ever! If you walk out any pain he suffers is more then well deserved.

You have to stop taking this $#!T. This isn't a confession, it's a cry for help! I'm not a fan of divorce but if there was ever a reason for divorce this is it.

And how is this guy a good father? He's probably blowing smoke up your butt on that one. Will this guy not sober up? What's his deal. You need to find a way to educate yourself (if you're not already) and get up. Find some kind of work, store money for travel and take the daughter and get out! How can he do this to you! You're the mother of his child. You're his wife.

OMG! Okay I think I'm done with this blog. I don't know why I read this. It's nothing but pain here. You need help. He needs help. Is it really this dysfunctional in the real world? Maybe I'm crazy. No wonder I'm single. We live in a world where people treat people like crap for the fun of it.

Look #1986, tell this guy to kick the alcohol and the asshole act or you're gone. Before you do go see a lawyer, get divorce papers drawn up and be ready to go when this guy choses alcohol over you and his daughter. If he chose his family it will be a pleasant surprise. And for Godssake get into marriage counseling. Please please please take my advice.

BTW here's how a husband is supposed to treat a wife:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her...

-Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

-Colossians 3:19

Is this your husband? If he's not treating you this way then there a problem!

Anonymous said...

I can see why you are single. Don't be so quick to judge. You never know what might happen to you, so be careful.

Nathyn said...

2:37 Not good enough. I know "anything" can happen but it's my choice to change. I have made bad choices (hence I don't use the word mistakes) and have forgiven bad choices, but I do give a damn!

When it comes to being judgmental, lets look at the facts:

In the case of cheating.

1. You make a choice that can affect your spouse, but don't allow them to have the choice to decide to leave or stay, this is selfish.

This attitude means you view your relationship as something for you not for the whole. No argument will say this isn't selfish including the "I don't want to hurt my partner" argument which really translates to "I don't want except responsibility for my actions."

You know how I chose to not hurt girls I've dated? By not cheating. I'm fairly confident eventually some woman will see that as a plus so I'm not really worried about it as far as being single.

Now are there exceptions to almost every rule, sure, but if you have to wonder are you the exception the answer is "no".

If I did cheat on whatever wife/girlfriend I get and she decides to kick my raggy ass to the curb more power to her. I may beg her not to but if she does who am I? Didn't want to kicked out, I shouldn't have cheated right, so I have to take it. I simply pray that I'm in the right mind to make right decisions so these things won't happen.

2. HIV and other diseases hide in the body and to not tell again is incredibly selfish because of things like this:
(you can see this article)


Can anyone give me a good argument for physical or emotional abuse of one's spouse (male or female)? Should someone not come out and say it's crappy! Should no one stand up and say, maybe beating our wives or generally treating them like crap just ain't the way to go. Yes, I'll be the judge and jury all day before I simply say this is okay.

When I take the time to write something here it's to help, not judge. But before you can help you have to point out the behavior that's screwing everything up. We can't all be people who simply say "I want something so what I do to get it is okay."

A lot of these confessions are also cries for help. When I see something like what #1986 posted That breaks my heart. What the hell am I supposed to do with that. Read that again. This isn't the way it's supposed to be. And I'm the one whose judgmental? If I knew 1986 I'd tell her dead on, this guy needs to sober up or ship out. End of story. Chose the family over the f--king bottle and stop treating your wife like ass.

Anonymous said...

I am 1988, This is in answer to Nathyn's comment towards me, I do understand that I was very wrong in what I did, and I do know that it was very selfish and it may be selfish or unfair to keep it to myself, and it is VERY Sad that alot of marriages start this way, but in the event that i did fess up, not only would I be hurting my husband I would be hurting both of our children too. I also dont believe in the saying "Once a cheater always a cheater" I know in alot of cases this is true but I also know that there are many cases, when someone man or woman gives into temptation and feels absolutely awful and never will do it again. I do believe that if my husband were to ever give into temptation, I would feel hurt but I would have to look back to what I did and forgive him and try to work through it.

Nathyn said...

Hi 5:29/1988, I hope you know that I wasn't judging you nor do I think you're some evil monster, I was simply pointing out things.

I do understand your situation. I won't say I condone it nor will I trying to hammer you to tell (especially considering is was before the marriage) as I surely can see why you would feel it would destroy your family, but by confessing it, it does seem like it's something that's bothering you (or bothers you) and may also create future self-esteem issues.

And my comments weren't particularly aimed at you (I know I did address you initially) but many were very general. I am a writer and I've been studying adultery as my next few screenplays deal with it and it's somewhat annoying how common it is and how people seem to just not get it in this area. This is especially annoying for us single guys and gals who value trust. The "Affair fog" (goggle it) is very powerful and people don't know how strong it is.

And those who do get it are now just considered a little group of judgmental individuals who just don't get out and have fun (not saying you feel this way as you obviously you don't) like everyone else.

But I hope you and your family are doing well and do well, but also keep in mind secrets have a way of coming out and they hurt more. There are people who are broken after find out after their spouse's death about long term affair or betrayal.

Just consider every possibility and how you may deal with something like this coming to light. But I am glad to hear you're devoted to your marriage and family. I wish more people were.

I hope you take my comments as warnings and advice versus judgments or any kind of hateful rant. I want the people here to continue to feel safe when they post and I will be more careful with my responses.

Also note I don't post Anonymously (actually I did at some point today because I wasn't logged in) so no one can accuse me of hiding behind anonymity, which I know a lot internet bullies like to do. (BTW Post 12:13 was me).

Anonymous said...

1986: please leave him or kick him out. One or the other, and it really doesn't matter as long as the end result is that he is out of your life. He sounds like a jerk of the Nth degree. Please leave. For your daughter, if not for yourself. She doesn't need to grow up watching her mama be treated like dirt.

He is a waste of the oxygen in your home, and I hope you'll remove him from it.

Khali said...

1986, seriously, no father is better than that father. You think he'll not start treating your daughter the way he treats you? I know it's hard, but get that bus ticket.

Anonymous said...

1986: It seems clear that you MUST leave this man, for your own sake, and for your daughter's. Where you are now, I once was. Where I am now, I hope you soon will be. The husband I divorced sounds very much like yours. The false accusations of the very things he was guilty of, being locked out of the home, the emotional abuse...all of it. And I can tell you this: even if he DOES stop drinking and goes to AA, it will get WORSE, not better. No sooner did my husband enter AA, then he started accusing ME of being an alcoholic. He used his sobriety as just another weapon against me.

Please, please PLEASE leave this man. He will never change. Ever. He will ONLY get worse. You can do it. You MUST do it. I feel for you so intensely, because I've been there. And I promise you, if you leave, your life will change for the better in a very short period of time. I promise.

Nathyn said...

1986, I hope you're listening.

Anonymous said...

25 years ago I was 1986. It was so pathetic. I actually got smacked because someone drove past us on a busy road and honked and he said it was my boyfriend. WHAT THE FUCK. And I stayed until one day when I picked up my purse and walked out - only because his friend stopped by. It was the only time I could leave without getting smacked and pulled back (physically). God that was so long ago. I built a great life - I travel now and have a beautiful house. No one in my life knows about that old life except my family. They took me back. I just didn't think I was strong enough back then. God I was so wrong. I hope 1986 finds her strength. If we could all lift her out now, we would.

Anonymous said...

#1981: You're a real piece of work. You are "outraged that money always seems to comes first" with your ex, but why is it that your post is almost entirely about money?

If you KNOW that he's so stingy, then why did you bother asking him for change at the parent-teacher's conference?

As a positive alternative, you could have simply paid $9 the next day if you didn't have the cash on you - just as you actually ended up doing.

Don't fool yourself -- you don't have to say one word, but your son is still picking up your underlying anger of your ex. Imagine what kind of teenager he'll grow into after imbibing your resentment for the next 10 years.

This hostility towards your ex that you're feeling is a poison inside you. Why are you letting your ex live rent-free inside your head?

The current path you're on is effectively building up a head of steam that will explode the moment "daycare is being paid for". (Aha - so money is important to you, after all?)

In other words, you're a ticking time bomb, and the conflict that you're envisioning ("I will take you to your knees") will just blow the lid off.

Again, a positive alternative:

If your goal is to get your ex to be a good father towards his son, then focus on that and emphasize and reward things that lead towards that goal.

If money truly isn't important to you, then don't let it get under your skin the way it currently is.

Get some counseling to understand why you're really so angry about your ex. If the issue *is* the money, then stop denying it's the money. If it's something else, then understand that too -- and deal with it at that level.

Ten more years of this poison will damage you, and will damage your son, even if you don't verbally say one word to your son. Get moving!

Anonymous said...

I feel like I should leave, but you all don't understand. If I called my family and told them I was leaving him, they would not let me stay with them..that is, if they even answered the phone. They are through with me. So where would I go? The only thing I have right now is a job, and I need to keep that in order to feed my baby. I can't afford to rent anything and I don't make enough to save any money. What am I supposed to do - go live in a homeless shelter with a one-year-old baby?

Anonymous said...

1986: there are shelters for battered women. Often they are safe houses, and they will help organize resources to get you going.

Anonymous said...

328AM - 1981 here - you don't know me, therefore, I'm not even going to give you the satisfaction of replying to your post other then saying this:

I am not a "real piece of work." I just want my son's father to share in the responsibilities of having a son - he got off very easy.

You have no idea what it is like to me or be in my situation.