Monday, June 04, 2007

True Wife Confessions 189 Centered Cube

Confession #1881

You taught the baby the word "butt." Your dad taught him "fart." Thanks.

Confession #1882

Sometimes you irritate the hell out of me. You can piss me off more than anyone I've ever known (with the possible exception of my mother). Sometimes you can be so insensitive that I'd like to scrub the toilet with your toothbrush or glue your butt cheeks together.

But most of the time, you make me feel powerful, worthy, loved and so beautiful. I adore you. Thank you for marrying me.

Confession #1883

All those jokes are right: a cleaning service is way cheaper than a divorce!

I'm so glad we got the cleaning service. I must admit I felt a
little insulted that my housekeeping wasn't "good enough," though of
course I know that my housekeeping sucks. I don't know why I felt
like the house was totally my responsibility, anyway. No-one thinks
a thing if a homeowner outsources lawn care. Why do we think there's
something wrong with a person if she outsources cleaning? Is it a
sexism thing?

Confession #1884

The other day, we were laying in bed - kissing and cuddling when you said "Your face is like the promise of summer."

That was the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me - Ever. And when I started to cry, you kissed every tear away.

I can't wait for the day when we are both free to be together, forever.

Confession #1885

I picked you over him because he couldn't give me children. Now that I have kids with you, I want him back. But he died, and that's what I'm crying about when I tell you I'm PMSing.

Confession #1886

Yesterday something inside me finally clicked. It's definitely over for me and now I feel so at peace within myself, I never expected that feeling. I know it will be over a year till we finally get the point of actually being able to live in separate places but I know it will happen with or without your help and the feeling is so incredible. I just hope you stay in our children's life because no matter how much I hate you I don't want them to hate you. I want them to have the best of both of us.

Confession #1887

You just pissed me off. I am tired of always doing what you should take care of and then you question me about it. You are a pig most of the time. I called you to ask for your credit card number so I COULD PAY YOUR FUCKING BILL!! you act like I'm going to run your bill up. I have never once used any of your credit cards and I thought I was being nice by paying the payment. PAY IT YOURSELF ASSHOLE. I hope you get late fees too. PRICK!!!!

Confession #1888

What the heck happened to my sex drive? I wish I could have saved
all that lust that I felt so guilty about in high school and
college. I find it especially ironic that I now feel guilty for not
feeling sexy. Did I use up all my libido premaritally?

Confession #1889

at 13 i stole money over a year's time from my father's girlfriend.
the last time i stole from her they had me arrested and pressed
charges. it all amounted to $500-$700. i was a very screwed up
little girl and no one cared about me. my father saw me about once a
month, if that, and my mother was a horror of a human being. he knew
that when he divorced her. he left me with her. left me for her to
raise. how could he have expected me to be anything but fucked up.
yet he would rather have me arrested for what i did, than actually
have to parent. this is the first time i have ever admitted to
actually stealing the money. i denied it then, and my mother hired
me an attorney (the charges required me to have representation- she
didn't do it to help me). the judge ruled against my father and
scolded him for putting me through this and not being a father to
me. the judge also said that although he suspected that i was
guilty, he could not be sure. he said that if indeed i had done it,
i was a child in need and that my father should not place it upon the
courts to clean up his mess.

yes, i was a bad child. i knew it then. i turned myself around when
i finally realized no one would ever be there for me and i had to be
there for myself. that has held true for 15 years now. i have a
wonderful husband, two beautiful children and a lovely home. i also
have no relationship with my father since i was 13 (i am now thirty
something) and i have had no relationship with my mother for six
years. they failed as parents and never tried to do right by me. i
take responsibility for my actions then but i am not to blame for
their shortcomings as parents. i do not fell guilty for having no
contact with them and do not feel guilty for keeping their
grandchildren from them.

Confession #1890

Last night you asked me what was wrong, I said nothing and got up and walked away. I said nothing because I am tired of trying to tell you that when you don't touch me it hurts. It fucking HURTS! I am tired of the only contact I have daily being from my five year old. Thank G-D she is at least generous with her hugs. I know I'm 8 months pregnant, but you know what? I still look pretty damn good. I still wear make-up everyday, shave my legs and I haven't gained a tremendous amount of weight either.

You are 23 fucking years old. Don't hand me that "I'm tired" crap anymore because you know what? It takes 8 seconds to hug or kiss your wife.


tg said...

1890: He's tired? You are running around after a five year old, and you're eight months pregnant!? F that! He should be giving you foot rubs and back rubs, and taking the kid to the park on his days off so you can take a freakin' nap. I'm so sorry he's being a big butt head.

Dana - W for Whatever said...

1882 - I could have written that myself

1890 - I was reading this with my boyfriend and we both wanted to find you instantly and give you 8,000,000 seconds of hugs which is what you deserve. We sent them mentally. Did you get them?????

Anonymous said...


i am with you. i am 31. i thought i was suppose to be at my "peak". what is up?

i guess i used mine up too.

Anonymous said...

I'm 1890, and I so did get those good vibes. I needed them, and it's nice to know someone was thinking of me. Thank you for that.

Anonymous said...

1888 here. Thanks for the sympathy. I really appreciate having my feelings validated here on TWC. cheesy, I know.

Anonymous said...

1889 - ...and you and your children are better off as a result. I have been exchanging the briefest of pleasantries every few weeks with both of my parents for at least the past 15 years, which is just enough to prevent everyone from realizing that there is no relationship underneath the polite conversation. I would prefer to have nothing to do with them, but when they live close by this is the next best thing. Stay strong and continue to keep those kids away from their grandparents.

Anonymous said...

1888 ~ I could have written that myself. I've often wondered where my libido has gone.

Anonymous said...

1883 is absolutely right. If we had hired a housekeeper to come in a couple of times a week, my ex-husband and I might still be married. Even our marriage counselor told him that we should hire someone and stop letting it be an issue between us. We could afford it. But he wouldn't consider it and said if I let another person into our house to clean while he wasn't there he would move out. He was just determined that I was going to do it because he was the man and I was the woman. I was determined not to do any more than half for pretty much the same reason. It became a huge power struggle and was symbolic of all of our problems. Now that I live with just the children my house is pretty clean (as clean as a house with 2 elementary school aged children can be.) It really pisses him off and I would be lying if I said that I don't secretly enjoy seeing that little vein in his temple throb when he drops the children off after his weekends with them.

Anonymous said...

1889 -- Thanks for posting. I'm in a similar situation (i.e., both parents never giving a rat's ass about me and failing me pretty much entirely), and it was kind of cathartic to read someone else's perspective on this.

People in our situation are typically left to stew in our own anger for years on end, and are dismissively told to "get over it" should we attempt to express our feelings (or worse, be smacked down for the f***ed up things we did as kids -- as if those bad behaviors of ours somehow absolve our parents of responsibility for their abuse and neglect).

I can tell you that getting any kind of acknowledgment from your parents in these circumstances is next to impossible, so don't feel like you're missing out on anything by not having your folks in your life. It's their turn to stew, and your turn to make the best out of the amazing opportunity for growth and love that is being a parent. I wish you all the success and happiness in the world, and hope that I can find the same when my own child arrives in a couple of months. More power to ya, lady! :-)

Anonymous said...

1881, i was you. For me it was the pill, then the patch, any hormonal birth control method left me not needing birth control. Now 5 years birthcontrol free, and I am loving life. Talk to your doctor, sometimes a different brand can make teh differnce. Saved my marraige.

Anonymous said...

^^^How does this relate to 1881?

"You taught the baby the word "butt." Your dad taught him "fart." Thanks."

U lost me...

Anonymous said...

To #1890:

You are beautiful. Don't forget it.

Personally, I can't wait to fuck my future wife when she's pregnant. Not because I have a fetish or something, but because I think her with swollen breasts and a swollen belly will be just as beautiful as she is now.