You are cranky and overworked and overwhelmed, and you've been taking it out on me for the past couple weeks. It's not fair, but it's understandable, and I've put up with it. But last night, when I was exhausted and achey and pukey and just feeling like utter doo-doo, you came home early to help me out. You fixed your own dinner (ok, you warmed up your own leftovers) and put the baby to bed, and I was able to go to sleep at 8:30. THANK YOU SO MUCH for that. I know you're tired and stressed and you need a break. And I know you could have spent last night catching up on work or sleep. But this pregnancy is kicking my ass, and it means so much to me that you recognized how much I need a break too, and that you chose to spend last night putting my needs before your own. I love you madly, sweetheart.
They are all talking about you behind your back. You wouldn't believe me if I told you this, because you'd think I was just saying this to piss you off. You don't understand empathy. It pains me terribly when I hear what they say.....sometimes they say these things to my face, because they assume I feel the same way.
Please get help. Please see a psychiatrist.
Why do you do this to yourself????
I am the mother of 2 children. I do have a favorite child. That doesn’t mean I love the other one any less, I just have a favorite.
I love you. It still shocks me how much I love you.
We're getting married this year, and I'm astonished by
how much I look forward to being your wife. Being
your family. I'm so glad to have had your baby, this
little connective piece between you and me.
I'm going to divorce you once the baby grows up and
moves out. You don't know this, and I can't tell
anyone. I hate the thought of ending the only
marriage I'll ever have, but I'm already looking
forward to it. I NEED this to look forward to.
Because I can't stand the thought of spending the rest
of my life invisible in here while you lose entire
weeks playing online games. I've given up trying to
talk to you about this; they're more important than we
are, I know, I won't fight that any more. You weren't
sure if your teammates would understand you being away
from the team for a few minutes when I needed help
with our screaming newborn and everything else in the
house... you weren't sure. What about ME not being
sure if I'M okay with you playing video games while I
try to hold everything in our joint world together by
myself? I don't count?
This is killing me. It hurts so badly.
So, I'm going to divorce you when the baby grows up
and moves away. Even though I believe that marriage
is a once-in-a-lifetime commitment, even though I hate
myself for going through with the wedding knowing it
can't be forever. I love you, and I want to be with
you, and I want to be your wife. I just wish I were
really getting a husband.
I love you. I do, so much.
I am not her. I am NOT her.
I will not do what she did.
Please believe me.
You only want to touch me when you're drunk.
Which is fine, because neither of us are really the touchy type.
But for the love of the gods of all religions kiss me just once without persuasion from good old Captain Morgan.
Oh, and another thing. Next time you decide to drink to the point of poisoning, I will rip all of your hair out and put a huge scratch on your guitar. I'm not mad that you threw up EVERYWHERE, I am mad because you were having delirium tremors! You're an idiot, darling. A real idiot. You could have killed yourself. I love you. Don't scare me.
I could hardly believe the nerve of you telling me how to parent OVER THE PHONE when you had been gone for a week on a business trip and I am alone with our child, exhausted from not sleeping for days. The moment when you started preaching to me that I was wrong for letting her come into the bed at 2 in the morning, I wanted to shout FUCK YOU and hang up. I hadn't slept more than 4 hours in four days, shithead - what the fuck did I care? As you sleep in posh hotels, alone.
I cannot deal with you anymore. You are bringing me down to the dark place I haven't been to in a very long time, you know the place where I want to hurt myself, make all the pain go away. You ask how mothers can kill their kids? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say unsupportive, whiney, petulant husbands play a role.
Yesterday was fathers day. Instead of being happy you are able to spend time with your three healthy children at an amusement park you pouted that you couldn't go on the adult rides, did you think we were going to leave the kids at the gate and say, ok stay here? Umm NO!!!!! If it wern't for these beautiful children you wouldn't be able to celebrate fathers day.
Instead of being grateful for the heartfelt homemade cards and gifts your kids made you, you tried to make me feel like shit because I didn't buy you a card, umm asshole, get over it, your CHILDREN made you things, my GOD!
Oh, and yes, I'm sorry I got you the wrong kind of cake, excuse me for not remembering that you dont like ice cream cake, i mean, its only got the stuff you like in it, give me a fucking break! Oh, and by the way, the kids and I got food poisoning from it and instead of helping out you fucking went out back and pouted about your miserable fathers day.
Allow me to put it into perspective for you.
On fathers day, some fathers watched their children die.
On fathers day some fathers visited grave sites.
On fathers day some fathers were visited by the military with the news that their child had died overseas.
On fathers day some fathers have been cut off by vindictive ex-wives, jail terms, time, distance of their own making, and demons they must fight.
You didn't get the right kind of cake and couldn't go on a roller coaster.
Your a fucking spoiled brat and right now I cannot stand you. I was asked on Friday what I was going to get you for fathers day, my answer was I wasn't going to kill you until Monday. Guess what, its Monday and I'm fucking tempted. You need to go see a counselor, or we both do, but you have issues and I'm SICK of you taking it out on me, do you understand me? How many more times will you try to cut me down and make me feel like shit because we don't live up to your expectations? You don't fucking SHARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS SO WHAT CAN WE DO BUT FAIL?????!!!!!!! Stop setting me up for failure and maybe, just maybe I'll start to give a shit about what you want anymore.
I am jealous over your friend "G". Even though you have given me absolutely no reason not to trust you. Even though in the two years we've been together, I know that you have only spoken to her once. She has called and left messages for you at least three times, and I know you have never returned her calls. The only contact you have had with her was one phone call (she initiated the call) back when we first got together... and the two Christmas cards she sent you.
Now she has moved back from far away. This weekend is your birthday and we are planning a get together with friends. She will be there, and I will meet her for the first time. I am dreading it oh-so-much.
I love you with all my heart. But your sexual rejection of me has taken its toll. I didn't stay behind this weekend just to see my Dad for Father's Day. I spent Saturday afternoon with another man. He's not as attractive as you, but he wanted me and that was sexy. He kept saying that you have to be insane to not want me. I think he's right. I'd rather have you, but I'll settle for him on the side.
Stop telling me what I feel, after I have told you what I feel. It only confirms that you aren't listening to me at all.