Baby I love you. You are so sweet to me. I love that often you orgasm before I do but you keep going to make sure that I get mine too. But . . . .
IT IS NOT OK TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE WHEN I AM TRYING TO GET OFF!
I know your friends love you and I know that you're needed - I get it! You're wonderful! Why else do you think i'm here? But for the love of god PLEASE. Yesterday you got off full force and then I pulled out my vibe to assist and you seemed into it and into helping me get off too and then your phone rings AND YOU ANSWERED IT. You are so addicted to that damn gadget sometimes I want to throw it against the wall, but I won't cause I love that phone.
I told you I wouldn't post anything to TWC, that I would talk to you about it but I think about it and things could be, and for me have been, a lot worse. I don't want to nag you. You are so great to me, and I have very few complaints (sure you sometimes spend too much, or you ditch me for your friends, but you aren't a philandering asshole and you treat me love and respect).
I can't wait to be your wife. I love you.
Our sex life sucks right now. How can you not care? We used to have sex three times a day! We don't even have kids, and I haven't let myself go, so there's no excuse for you! I really don't want to think about how it might be related to the fact that you are now in your 40s.
And what is it with you and not liking it when I initiate? I don't think you've EVER said yes when I try to start it with you. That can't be normal. Last night you looked so sweet lying there sleeping while I was reading a chick lit book with lots of sex in it. I woke you up because I was going to fuck your brains out, you ass. But instead you whine, "I'm sleeping." I thought men loved it when women make the first move!
I'm having fantasies about your boss. Just so you know.
To my ex:
I know you killed our two cats. Oh, not by outright abuse, but by neglect. (The same way you killed our marriage.) In December of 2003 both cats were fine. By July of 2004 they had both deteriorated to the point where they had to be euthanized. True, they were both 17 years old, but their health issues could be managed; I proved that by taking care of them while I was still with you. After Moose's death, I saw in his file that, a few months ago, the vet didn't think you would carry out his care instructions because of the divorce.
My Moose, my beautiful baby, went from 13 pounds of fur and love to a six pound, emaciated creature who *stank*. How can you think that is normal, you self-absorbed, knuckle-dragging jerkoff?! Of course he was drooling constantly - he had a huge sarcoma under his tongue! And you still thought the vet could give him something to "make him better"??! When I saw him in that condition I wanted to punch your lights out. Sometimes I wish I had.
If I could have taken them with me when I left, I would have. In a heartbeat. The fact that I couldn't still eats away at me. I still have nightmares about them and what I allowed to happen to them. I should have been there for them. I shouldn't have left them with a narcissistic prick who couldn't be bothered to care for the two sweet furbabies that were initially his before we even met.
There aren't enough epithets to describe what a loathsome being you are. There's not a hot enough place in Hell for you, either, but I'm sure they'll think of something.
I can say without hesitation that I am completely over you. Of course, this means that you should show up on my doorstep any day asking to be let back into my life.
Because you seem to have some cosmic sense of knowing. What you don't know is that I have changed,and you just don't appeal to me anymore.
I think I was sexually abused as a child. I don’t know why I feel think way, I just do. I think I am a good person, have a lot of wonderful things and people in my life….I am very blessed but at the same time I feel totally fucked up. I want to get married have children and raise a wonderful family but I have such a hard time meet good guys and being able to trust them. I am 31 years old and although I know there are good guys out there I never seem to meet them and if I do I don’t feel the “chemistry”. I have always said I wanted to get married, but I think at the same time I am scared….scared of losing my independence, scared of losing myself and scared about making the wrong decision. I also suffer from some perfectionism….I am uber hard on myself and I think I should do and be perfect. I know it oozes out of me and I can’t image that guys don’t sense that and feel pressure. Although anal I have a very casual streak in me and I really can go with the flow. I don’t want to be so intense…..I want to go with the flow. I don’t know if this feeling of having been sexually abused as a child is a result of all of this. Maybe it has to do with my father having beat me as a child for no apparent reason and I just never knew what might set him off….maybe that is why I try to be so perfect and feel this need to be perfect. I need to be perfect because then I will be loved by my dad…..who passed away seven years ago……will I ever be normal?
Why can't I just come out and tell you: I want a wedding ring.
To my love:
I really wish you would stop pushing me away. I'm really trying to fix all the things I damaged in our relationship but its hard to do when you act like you don't want to be around or talk to me. I know I did a lot of bad things and I have apologized for that. I want nothing more than to have you back in our lives and to be happy again. The fact that you are being sent a way for a year with the military is making it worse cause now you don't even want to try to fix things. Just because you will be in a different state for a year doesn't mean we can't be together. We have done it before. Things were amazing. The separation made us appreciate our time together even more. I want that feeling again. I want to know that you love me. I miss hearing you tell me how much you love and miss me. What else can I do to make things better. We both know that we want each other. How do we get back to that. I am really trying here. And I feel that you aren't taking any of it seriously.
Forever & always
You've told me a little about your previous girlfriends before we married. The last ex wasn't too terribly bright, but at the time you thought you loved her ... and you carry those feelings still. She had always wanted children, but you were childfree a decade before I even taught you the term. You've told me that you talked her into getting an abortion, and that you feel guilty, so terribly guilty about that.
However, no matter how guilt ridden you are, it isn't your fault that she was diagnosed with a uterine problem mere months later. It is not your fault that she's infertile now. And you know something? You tell me these things with so much pain in your voice, and I try to sympathize, I really do, but secretly, I'm glad. Even if your ex had kept the baby, and even if we had ended up meeting anyway -- we still wouldn't be together.
There's just no way on earth I would have gotten together with a father, even one whose sole interaction with his child would be a monthly cheque. There are no guarantees in life, and you might have ended up with custody. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone, but there is no way I could play second fiddle -- even for you.
Day before yesterday I was "propositioned" by a married coworker. Apparently he thought he could easily convince me since you are out of the country. Nope. I'm glad that you and I have such a great relationship that I would never even consider accepting such an invitation. You are all that I need, sweetheart. I love you.
I know you're worried about the recent re-connect between my and my ex. You're right to be worried--I'm still a little bit in love with him. Always have been, always will be. And no, I've never loved anyone (not even you, sorry) the way I did--and do--love him.