To my mother:
Yes, yes I am marrying him, whether you like it or not. I don't CARE that you think my ex-husband was more likeable, if you like him so much, he's now available. Stop making my father miserable and marry him yourself, why don't you? Then you'll find out what it is to live with Mr. Perfect. He's perfectly lazy, and he's only affectionate when he wants laid. But because he kissed YOUR ass, I should have stayed married to him. Well, I'm marrying someone who kisses MY ass this time. I learned my lesson. And you and my grandmother can keep giving him the stink eye because you think he's mean for asking my kids to mind, and you can both whisper about the two of us and you can keep pitying my ex for all I care. Nothing in my life hurt me more than half of my family bailing on me because they didn't approve of my divorce, but I've come out the other side stronger and better for it. You'd better watch it--I realized I deserved better than my ex, and I got it, and I might just decide my kids and I deserve better than you all, too. I'm tired of your opinions clouding my joy and excitement at my impending wedding, so I've basically cut you off. I can finish the job and stop talking to you completely if you'd like. Or you can start being a MOTHER and wish me well and help me plan and be happy for me. It's probably too late to ask you to start doing that at this late date, though. You haven't wanted to be my mother for 28 years, why would you start now?
I think I am falling in love with your best friend who has also become one of my best friends. For the moment, it is lust.
I have known him just as long as I have known you. I always swore I wouldn't ever develop feelings for him; I didn't think I could have feelings for him. I didn't know then, but I know now. I was lying to myself. I don't view him as a better provider, more understanding of me, or more sexy. In my mind, you two are equal. Both driven, hard workers; but he always seems more passionate. Maybe its because he's "forbidden fruit", but since our group went out recently, I cannot stop thinking of him. Maybe I have such strong desires towards him because he's open to trying new things, because he will try to learn a new skill for me and I'm not even his wife, let alone girlfriend. He knew how much the lessons would mean to me, and he's excited about them too.
There's the one one factor that differentiates the two of you...he's passionate. I've never cheated on you, ever. So how do I know he is this way? When we shared a dance, I felt a sexiness come over me. I'm sure it overcame him too, at least I hope it did. I wanted him to want me just like I wanted him. It was a feeling I haven't felt through your hands in months, years...I can't stop thinking of how hot dancing with him was...in the middle of everyone, a very crowded club, it felt as if we were the only ones who mattered. I know he felt the same way. Our first dance was mild and to your liking, but after a bit, I locked hands with him and began to guide his hands over my body. It felt incredible. Almost voyeuristic. Mostly, he danced with me from behind. We moved in tandem, bodies grinding together, my hands guiding his hands over my body. I held him tightly, wanting more, pulling him closer to me. That is why I became infuriated with you when you told me I had to leave with you right then. I even thought of him while I pleased myself last night. Its terrible I know, but I want to experience him. To feel his hands gliding over my bare body...I shiver just thinking of it.
I don't know when I developed feelings for him. I don't know why, either. You are a decent lover and an incredible man most of the time, but I feel neglected on some occasions. I'm finding its more often than not I don't "get mine", but you always get yours. This is pushing me towards him more. We started talking more often while you were away earlier this month. We talk every day. He came over each evening to keep me company while you were away. Nothing happened, you know what happens in our home. We've talked about our dancing, and we both agree it was some of the most erotic memories that neither of us will let go. I try to flirt with him and there are times I believe he tries to reciprocate the gesture without being too obvious. I want him to reciprocate. I want him to think about me when we're not together. I want him to want me just as passionately as I want him. My whole being is telling me this is wrong. I know my feelings just need to run their course. I will eventually get over him. I know it...I always do. But until I am done with this lust, I will continue to think of how incredibly sexy he made me feel. We will be dancing together next weekend. We will do it again every time you are away. Both of us will enjoy it to the fullest extent...I hope I can keep myself on my own two feet and not my back.
You are trying and I really don't want to. After a beautiful 2 1/2 year old daughter and a distance and unhappiness that is just as old. I opened the door because I wanted out, and now you want back in. I think I might be falling in love with someone else. With a kiss that I felt to my very core. Your intentions are honorable and heart felt. Mine are out of obligation to the daughter we wanted together. I don't hate you. I respect you and who you are and who you want us to be. I don't think I can be that with you anymore. It makes me sick to think of hurting you and breaking our family. But how can I be an asset to the family if I am just not happy for the simple fact that I am not in love with you anymore? You are a good dad. You are a good provider. You are loyal. We let this go on too long and I think that it is too late for me. That is my confession.
I wish you would make me and our marriage a priority.
Stop planning your next poker party. All you do is talk about how big your dick is. And I think you fail to mention to the guys that it doesn't work.
I know I shouldn't want you as much as I do. You're married, but I want you now more then ever. I want you to know that I'm okay with you wanting to be good and not wanting me now. What hurt the most is when you threw in the "It's not just you, I want to do things with other women to but I have to be good." Even now when I see you, my heart jumps wishing and hoping for something that will never be.
I love you and you're my best friend and we'll be together for always. But you are by far the strangest man I've ever met.
It's been over 3 months since we had sex. With me getting sick, and then you, and then the kids, and then you again with menstrual cycles shoved into the mix I can understand.
But there we were- the kids were in bed and asleep. Your cold is gone. I'm not menstruating. And you pop up to play your game. Ok sure, if I wanted sex I should've pounced on you. But yesterday, and today you gave me all your signs that let me know- get ready, cause later it's you and me.
And then.... nothing. What man in his right mind doesn't have sex with his wife for 3 fucking months then doesn't pounce on her the second he can? Do you not like having sex with me? I've asked you that before and you assure me time and time again that's not the case and then you'll give me the excuses I listed above (sickness, etc). But come on! What man isn't counting the days until we can? What man doesn't want to have a quicky with his wife while the kids are up? I mean they're watching their cartoons! We've been having this same fight. And the day you have sex with me as many times as, or more than you masturbate- I wouldn't feel like shit.
I'd understand an affair- that would be an excuse. But you're not and I know you never will. So my only conclusion would be that you don't want to have sex with me. What the hell is wrong with you?
We were getting ready to go for a few days away at the cottage. I was fed up with his "me-me" attitude, yes, he is an Aries and has been like that since I met him. Anyway, so we were cleaning up the house and we (meaning I) was also trying to get the kids, 2 years and 2 months to sleep.
When I was released from the hospital 2 months earlier, after having my second son, I was given a prescription for Oxycodone and since I am not a pill taker, he always begs me for mine every weekend until the bottle is gone. Anyway, this night I gave him one and he left it on the fridge.
I got so irritated and finally had it that I took the pill back (lied when he asked me if I took it), lol, "Why would I take it? You must've knocked it on the floor." So, he even moved the fridge to look behind it for the pill. Really? Really is the affects of the pill THAT important??? Come on.
Then I did something naughty (for my standards anyway), he sleeps sometimes in my son's bed when both boys co-sleep with me. Well on this night that's what the plan was. I wanted him to feel uncomfy since he was being such a total ASS that day, so I took a dixie cup full of water and dumped it under the comforter on the sheets of the twin bed.
Kids went to sleep in our bed. I went to sleep too. About 2 hours later, my hubby went to sleep by himself in our eldest son's bed. All I heard for a straight 5 minutes was, "...shit, hell, Jesus, what the hell, shit..." I woke up to that and man that was music to my ears.
I went through both pregnancies with him being such a whiny fucking ass, doing this stupid childish thing made payback feel so right. I fell asleep with a smile on my face. Ahhhhh.
Oh and next day he asked me about the bed being wet. "Jeez, dear, I have no idea. Might've been the cat."
I love my husband. I do. He treats me well, I know he loves me. But I didn't get much of a chance to experience many other guys. So lately, when I'm having super hot sex with my husband, I'm imagining it's the coworker with whom I have become extremely flirtatious. I hate myself.
I always feel like I am cheating a little when I give you a blowjob..because I don't really swallow everything. I kind of let about half of it fall back out of my mouth and onto you. You never seem to notice and god knows you have never complained, but I feel like I am cheating you out of a "real" blowjob if I don't swallow everything.
So soon now he'll be back in my arms! My heart is light and I always have a smile on my face. Just you wait my love, it'll be a time you never forget!