Tuesday, September 15, 2009

True Wife Confessions Numbah 19, Numbah 19

Confession #181

All those times I said I wasn't happy with our marriage? I really meant those. It was NOT a time of the month thing, I have outgrown you. Did I ever think I'd cheat on you? No. Am I ? Yes. And I don't feel guilty because I am finally feeling like a successful, appreciated, caring, talented woman that someone adores. All those nights I'm with you, I'm thinking of him. And if I go away to visit a friend or take a long afternoon shopping, I'm not where you think I am. And you are so spineless I wonder if you found out, if you'd even do anything about it. I have a feeling you'd let it occur right under your nose just so I wouldn't leave you

Confession #182

Why won’t I have sex you? The correct question is why would I ?

Confession #183

When you fall asleep watching TV on the sofa, I run upstairs to the computer and type very quietly with the lights off, so I don't wake you. If you do wake up, I shut off the monitor and quickly hop into bed, so that you think I haven't been on the computer all night.

Confession #184

My worst fear is that one morning you'll wake up and realize that you are too good for me and that I don't deserve you. But I never fear that you will leave me, because you have been nothing but a wonderful husband and father to our child. I know you will never do anything to hurt us. You really are my hero.

Confession #185

If you make a promise, keep it. I keep mine. If you don't have what it takes to be a man of your word, don't run your mouth.

Stop expecting me to feel sorry for you with all of your ailments. They are all self-inflicted. Yes, that's what happens when you don't brush your teeth or have good hygiene. You're not fooling anybody, everyone else knows that too.

I no longer have an interest in getting you off because you show no interest in getting me off.

Yes, you have a job. Get over it. Everyone has to work. Either change careers or stop whining and complaining. Guess what? Everyone you're complaining to just came from work too!

If you don't start to address the projects around the house that need your attention, I will call someone and have it taken care of. I don't care if it IS what you do.

If buying me gifts for the holidays is such a problem, don't do it anymore. I'll take the cash. I can't take another holiday of you waiting until the last minute to shop and coming home with things I never asked for because that's all you could find in the last 10 minutes the store was open.

I know I didn't marry Romeo BUT after nearly 20 years you do have to spring for a getaway at some point. If you choose not to again when our 20th anniversary rolls around, I will plan my own getaway and leave you at home, alone.

Yes, you have a problem gambling when you spend as much time doing that as you do working.

Please try to remember that there are other people around you. They have feelings too. Treat others like you would like to be treated. The world does not revolve around you.

Confession #186

I have never loved you.....I only married you because I was afraid I'd be alone forever. I wish I would have known that being married to you would make me feel more alone than ever...

Confession #187

I read your emails, all of them. Even the ones you don't think I know about

Confession #188

I watch porn occasionally, not because I am sick or twisted or have some sort of fetish. I watch it, because I figure at least the porn stars are getting some...more often than I am. I only dream sex could be that good and lengthy.

Confession #189

The mornings when you let me sleep in while you take care of the child win you more points than just about anything else you could do.

Confession #190

You are a whiny bitch on family trips and when we have company. I miss having a social life that involves you.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow. i could have written almost all of these.

Naveen kumar said...

Nice blog .. makes me wonder about my future

can someone show me the way to

"true husband confessions" blog :P

Crazed Mom said...

There's an award for you at my blog. :)

cooldestiny said...

You are speaking out for so many women out there. Great writing!

Anonymous said...

I wish the authors of these "re-run" posts would write in and give us updates. #185, did you spend your 20th anniversary alone, or did you break down and plan yet another vacation? My SO and I recently had a fight because HIS friends invited us to go camping yet he thought it was my responsibility to call them and coordinate travel, plan the meals, do all the shopping & cooking, pack the equipment, make arrangements for pet care, etc., then wash and store the gear when we got home. His involvement ended at packing my sedan to travel miles of gravel roads and to have a good time. When I called him on it, he seemed surprised because I "am such a good planner" and I "seem to enjoy making all of our other vacation plans."

The Fool Of The World said...

I am a husband. The problem is that in marriage you lose your personhood and end up resenting the spouse that stole it.

I found out my wife has been cheating on me 3 weeks ago with younger, better looking, thinner guys (yes, plural). All your confessions are right on the money as to what I think my wife is thinking.

By the way, I've cut off all romantic ties with my wife when I found out. I guess, so far, I am not like your husband in Confession #181, where he would let it happen right under his nose.