Monday, July 27, 2009

True Wife Confessions Sweet 16

Confession #151

hey, look, you cheated on me when we were dating. Do I forgive you, 4 years later? No. Did I forget? No. Do I hate you for it? Yes. Do I wonder why I married you? Yes. And then the answer strikes me. I married you because it's what people expected. However, if you cheat on me again, I will cut your penis off. fucker.

Confession #152

Yes, they really are making fun of you because of what you chose to say or do.

Confession #153

When I tell you yelling at a two year old doesn't work why do you insist upon an hour long explanation why? And then still not believe me? I am with these kids all day long every day and you are hardly here. You overreact. You think the kids should act like your coworkers. THEY ARE KIDS. THEY ACT LIKE KIDS! Don't treat them like they are doing it just to piss you off.

Confession #154

When you tweek my nipples for 3 seconds flat as if you're adjusting the
burner on your manly gas grill, do NOT ask me if I'm ready yet. I will
always respond, "not if you want it wet!" It's offensive that you spend
more effort on working up a good bowel movement than you do on foreplay

Confession #155

Your friends not coming around anymore has nothing to do with me like you say. Most all of them still stop by to chat when you're not home. They don't like how you treat them. And by the way, you're losing me friends and embarrassing me.

Confession #156

Yes, you have a job. Get over it. Everyone has to work. Either change careers or stop whining and complaining. Guess what? Everyone you're complaining to just came from work too!

Confession #157

During the last "Vomiting vacation", you cleaned up all the vomit in the bedroom while I comforted the child. That meant a alot to me. It really did.

Confession #158

I hate the fact that you're a drunk, , you spend your money on booze and I have to pay the bills. I hate having to force you to pay the bills.

We cant rely on your mommy forever you know. What are you going to do when she dies?
I hate that you lie to me and say you get our son up at 7:30 am when I know you don't get him up til about 9 ( geeze I wonder why he won't go to bed at night!) and I can't do anything about it because I am at work by that time. Why because I work at a really sucky job that I hate because you are to lazy and irresponsible to get a real job ( and keep it) and take care of your family.
Why do I pay most of the bills. Didn't you brag about how your wife would never work how you want your wife to stay home and take care of the kids and have dinner on the table as soon as you walk through the door ( yes that was me laughing )
Why do you think waving your member in my face is a turn on ( eww) and that asking me to look is the way to initiate sex? Then you just lay there. What you think your so wonderful that you don't even have to move and I am turned on?
Why am I with you again.


Confession #159

You smashed my nose in a drunken rage. You scared the shit out of me and
your precious, innocent daughter.

You have NO fucking idea how lucky you are to not be in jail right now. You
would be if I didn't need your money.

Welcome to life in the backseat, jackass. Life is never going to be the
same.


Confession #160

You're everything I want,
You're everything I need...
I want you to be my life consuming passion.
Everything my heart desires
I find it all in you, you're my true one and only.
Never let go of me for noone will love you as I do.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just a little dissapointed - You probably dont realise how much I look forward to reading these and its hard when I find them to be repeats

The thing is, this probably indicates how fantastic this site is so my dissapointment is really a huge compliment

Andrea said...

You already posted these.

Anonymous said...

Aren't these old ones??

Dawn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.