You are a better father than I ever hoped.
I hate that every time you come from work you leave your keys where every you first sit your ass down. I even put a key hanger by the front door so there would be no need to search the house 50 times over and finally find your keys in the bathroom next to the toilet. Yes, most of the time I know where your keys are, but I figure at the least I can laugh to myself watching you search for them and you are late for work every morning. Is it really that hard....Come on. And when you lost my keys and made me hours late for work looking and finally finding them BEHIND our entertainment center, I really wanted to hurt you when you came home and you didn't even care. Thanks.
I am not your personal errand girl. Just because I am off for the summer does not mean that my new job is to run to the bank, bring you lunch, get the oil changed on both cars, do the grocery shopping, and do all of my usual chores. I'm on vacation. If you wanted two months off, you should have gotten a degree in teaching. I'm on vacation, buddy-leave me the hell alone.
If you touch my ass again while I am loading the dishwasher, I will deck you. Seriously. If you want to get some, quit groping and grab and dish and put it away-not that you know which cabinet the dishes belong in. You'd get a lot farther in the bedroom if you gave a little more in the rest of the house, you lazy ass.
You proposed because I was pregnant. I accepted because I was pregnant. Our child will be 18 soon, and I am SO OUT OF HERE!!
I did not get a job to get insurance. I got it to save money so I can leave you. You didn't appreciate me when I stayed at home with the kids, you don't appreciate me now that I'm working. Maybe you'll appreciate me when I'm gone.
When I asked you to dress our baby last winter, and you came downstairs dressed in warm socks, boots, long underwear, heavy jeans, two shirts and a parka, and handed me our son in a short sleeve cotton onesie I wanted to hit you and ask "WTF are you STUPID?"
Much as I love sex with you, it's better with the lights off because if
I'm pretending you're someone else, I can also pretend I'm looking into
I really loved it when you used to work out of town. I could go and do whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to without checking with the "head office", without putting up with your pissing and moaning. I could tolerate it when you started working intown, enjoying at least the daytime to myself, but now that you are home all the time, I am about to lose my mind. The only time I have for ME is the 30 minute drive to and from work. I am really sorry you hurt your back, but I am REALLY sick of hearing the whole damn scenario for the 5,000th time, complete with all the details of how much pain you are in.You act like no one in the world has ever experienced your pain--hell, you are zoned out on morphine so much of time, it's a wonder you know what pain is. And wash a dish? Pick up your dirty socks? That would cut into your free time, wouldn't it? And don't think that that I mind that the medicine has given you ED---It is a welcome excuse for me not to have to make it with a slob like you. It's been 34 years of torture pretending that you turn me on. I should get an Oscar for the acting job I have given. You never have known that you don't do it for me!
We are in love. Deeply, madly, painfully. Our souls are one in the
same. When we are in different physical locations, our souls are
still united and we are together. We get it.
We will never be together. Ever. Why? Because I married you. I love
you. I always have and always will. The love I have for you is
secure and it is comfortable. It is easy. You are an amazing father
to our son and the kind of husband that women wish for.
You are just not him. I never knew that the mad passionate love that
the movies extol existed. He has become apart of our family. He is
the best friend to my brothers and a son my parents have adopted as
one of their own. He is in our lives daily. I love him, I love him,
I love him.
I love you too. Just differently. I will be with you forever. I will
never leave you and I will never physically betray you. I will fight
my heart and mind and keep you in the forefront and not him. You
deserve the promises I made to you on our wedding day and you will
get them. I wish I could tell you every now and then when you ask me
what's wrong that my heart is hurting and it's fighting for you.
Every holiday, birthday, family vacation, celebration, I wish I
could tell you that I will be fully enjoying our family. Me, you, and
our son. I know that I will be looking across the room at him and his
girlfriend and he will meet my eyes and something unspoken will pass
between us. It will always be there.
He has my soul and you have my heart. I love you and I am committed
to you. You are the hero in my life. He never will be. As much as I
hate that, I find comfort in you.
I love you.