You have such a mean streak sometimes. When I made a mistake on the plane reservations that is going to cost me $500 to change, you just laughed and said it's no big deal. Oh, really? $500 means nothing to you? Perhaps, but it's a HUGE deal to me. So there I was, all stressed out about it, and you were ready to light up a cigarette in the car. You KNOW I quit smoking just 2 weeks ago. Have you no consideration whatsoever? Sometimes you're such a mean, self-involved prick I forget why I love you.
I just don't get it. I am the envy of all my friends. You are a stellar father. You are a supportive husband. You are compassionate. You are kind. But, in our intimate lives, you are also so damn juvenile. You make embarrassing lewd comments in front of our daughter. You paw at me like a drunken frat boy. I can be so amazingly in love with you and want to be intimate with you. Then, the damn pawing and stupid comments. You think it's flattering. I think it's crap. For goodness sake, I can be totally in the mood, ready to jump right in - and then - you have to make some stupid comment. The fact that my sex drive is less than yours, you'd think that if I initiated at all, you'd be grateful and appreciative that I was starting it up and just let it roll. I have told you that your incessant comments make me uncomfortable. That I am less likely to act on them. And, then, last night. I actually started it up, and your breath was funky. You wanted to kiss me and I could not hang. Your breath stinks a lot lately, and I can't summon the nerve to tell you. I avoid kissing you passionately unless you have just brushed.
I don't miss you. When I left I thought I'd be scared and sad, dying because I couldn't live without you. Turns out I was wrong. I'm doing great. Leaving you was the best thing I ever did. Turns out I stopped loving you long ago, I just didnt' realize it. I should have left you last year when I tried.
You know what? I have yet to have an orgasm during sex with you. We've been together over a year and I've faked it very well every single time we've seen each other. But it has never happened. Slow down already. I've reached orgasm with other men plenty of times. You just rush me too much. Slow down. I love you madly but the pressure you put on me to come quickly is just too much.
dear soon to be ex husband,
today its been exactly 4 years and 5 months since we got married.....its been 3 years and 7 months since our oldest daughter was born......3 years and 6 months since the first time you cheated on me........its been 18 months since our son was born........and 16 months since the second time you cheated on me........its been 24 weeks 5 days since our 3rd baby was conceived out of oops more than anything but she is still loved non the less.......its been 11 weeks since you told me about this last time you cheated.......and 9 weeks since you told me you were "in love" with her even though you had only known her those 2 weeks........and since you told me you would be leaving me and the kids for her........its been 7 weeks since you've left for Iraq and its been 4 weeks since finding out that you cheated A LOT MORE than i knew about and that even though we cant even file for divorce yet you have already asked her to marry you. Our daughter asks about you every single day.....she knows your working and cant be home she misses you and talks about you like you are the worlds most wonderful dad....it breaks my heart to know that the way she looks at you will have to change when she finds out why you wont be coming home to us when you return from the war. it tears me apart inside to know that even my best attempts to keep this marriage together were not good enough. its only been about a week since i truly excepted that you wont be coming home to me and about 3 days since realizing I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN! Im actually thankful in a way for all of this because now i know that THIS IS HOW I WILL NEVER ALLOW ANYONE TO TREAT ME EVER AGAIN. this is something i will NEVER tolerate again. have fun living your pathetic existence....im moving on i refuse to let you hurt me anymore!!!
I have been accused of planning to do something I have absolutely no thoughts or intentions of doing. Clearly, he does not trust me, and I have never done anything to cause that. Without trust, how can there be a relationship? No need to answer that. I already know.
Well, probation is over, all the testing and therapy is finished. Now we start where we left off. I am still mad at you for bringing this on us, but I am moving forward. I don't hate you anymore, and we laugh alot easier now. I am sharing more of my day to day with you, I guess this means I am trusting you some. That's big. I am happy about this. Time does heal, as the saying goes. Please don't' mess up again, because I have to go if you do. I can't feel that way again. I love you. And I am almost ready to tell you, too.
I used to love you. Somewhere in me I still do. But now, I am just broken. I went through loveless hell as a child, but was always bolstered by the thought of having my own real, loving family one day. I had hope. You took that away. That was the piece of me that I cherished...my ability to still love, to want to be loved, to not be cold, to STILL FEEL HUMAN, after everything. And you took that from me. Now, you finally, after 7 years, feel like you love me. Its too late. Its too late, because I am finally so numb and dead inside that I can't love or be loved anymore. And you blame me. You alone didn't do this, but you delivered the death blow to the smidgen of hope I clung to. I hate you for it. I hate you even more for blaming me.
I confess; you are sometimes a tyrant and that keeps me from being interested in living with you. Yes, we talk about it, but until you are able to be less controlling, it will never happen. Regardless of what you might think. Get over yourself already and give me equal say in the relationship. Then we'll have a chance of making progress.
I wish you would get off your ass and stop playing video games, ask me how my day was, take out the trash without sneaking a cigarette, notice when I'm down, and put your dirty clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor right next to it. But most of all I wish we didn't argue over every single little god damn thing!
You say I overreact, but lets see how you overreact when I leave your ass.