Monday, March 09, 2009

True Wife Confessions 285 Humanities

Confession #2841

My life is completely fucked up. I have just been through a terrible trauma and what do I get? You telling me that your sister is more important then me to you. And I cant believe you have resorted to name calling. How did I get here? I thought I was marrying someone who loved me and was prince charming. You wont fuck me, its driving me crazy. Yes I have put on a few lbs since we met, but for fucking crying out loud Im still wearing a size 8! I feel so alone. That guy that I used to see everyday was the bright spot in my day. He was so good looking, and just my type. Bastard is devoted to his wife so he wont cheat, I know cause I tried to get with him. I have tried to tell you but you wont listen, if you wont give me what I want in bed I am going to find some big hunky guy that does p90x to give it to me good! Cause I need it! Ugh. What happened to that guy that couldn’t keep his hands off of me and thought I was the sexiest thing around. Remember him? He was horny all the time, I want him back! I understand people that cheat now, I never did before. I promise you that I will be married to you until the day I die, but I will probably have an affair or two….I just need a lot of male attention. I would be more than happy if it came from you, but you wont give me any attention. Wanna know how I remember the day our child was conceived? Because that day we woke up early for sex and it was really good, then on my way out the door you whistled at me. Made me feel like a million bucks all day. Why cant you do that all the time?! Dammit! I do that for you, I am always checking out your ass cause hot damn you have a great body and a spectacular ass….I want you just thinking about it. But of course I will get nothing cause you are too tired or have a cold or have a headache tonight. If you only knew how many times I have watched the p90x infomercials and……of course you wouldn’t know cause you sleep in the guest room everynight. Come to bed at the same time I do everynight and I'll rock your socks off. Wow, did I ever get off the topic here, I came here to complain about my sil but the post took a different direction…..she's a selfish bitch and her actions over the last 2 weeks have shown me her true colors. She cant even be bothered to give me a quick email to check on me to make sure Im ok. I thought we were friends and almost sisters, but I guess not. Of course this is the same woman that told me a few years ago that if it werent for my child her and the rest of the family would never want to see me again..guess I should have put the pieces together then….

Confession #2842

I don't know if its your or these pregnancy hormones, but you make me feel absolutely miserable. I mean some moments I honestly believe I HATE you. I want to scream and yell and throw things at you. But instead I go sit alone and cry and think if we made a mistake to have this baby. I feel so pathetic when our 9 year old son comes and hugs me and tells me that its ok and you sit on your lazy ass and watch tv with the damn dog. Its not his job and I feel like a bad mom because he knows this happens even when I try to hide it. Its funny how you can turn this all around to be my fault.What have I done.

Confession #2843

I can't believe that after almost 17 years, I can still love him the same, maybe because I never stopped loving him.I t was like we had never been apart a single day of our lives.Spending those 6 days with him were amazing and yes completely selfish of me. But I have dedicated my life to you and the children for the last 16 years and never once have I been selfish its' always been about what you want and need. I relive each and every moment them everyday in my mind. I can't for us to have our happily ever after. I am leaving you at the beginning of next year, He understands that it has to be on my terms, when I leave I am not taking a damn thing with me, it is going to be a fresh start for me and the children

Confession #2844

When I was 18, I met a married man. He seemed to be nice, mannerable, helping me out--I was new to the military, he had been in the game for several years. Young and naive as I was, I didn't know that this man's being nice to me was to recruit a swing partner for him and his wife. Having been badly abused all my life, I was starved for love, starved for any form of affection, and I took it and ran with it, even though dealing with another woman on that level had never appealed to me at all before this. This went on for two years. I broke away from it, never looked back. That was twelve years ago.

Since both our jobs in the service was personnel records, he managed to find me after I'd gotten out of the service--he remained in. You can't be friends with someone you've once slept with--they'll always want it again, even if you don't. And I'll be damned, he sure tried. However, I had grown up in that time, knowing that if you truly LOVE someone like you say, number one you wouldn't cheat on your spouse, or make promises you don't intend to keep to hold onto a young, naive girl.

Now I'm getting married myself to a wonderful man here later on this year. Needless to say, I've been being stalked by the same jerk from the service. I AM NOT that naive and dumb 18 year old girl anymore. I'm 31, almost, and happy with the man I have. He treats me like a queen, gives me everything I want--the type of love you read about, but seldom find. I am NOT giving that up to go back to the bullstuff I left in the service. I refuse to allow my husband to invite others to our bed, like his current wife does--he even got a child from the current swing buddy they have! Do you honestly think I want to go through that?! Hell no! I LIKE being the center of my fiancee's world. I am his ONLY woman, and he is my ONLY man. I love him, and will walk through fire for him, and do anything to keep him. I'm not giving that up, to go back and visit a shameful part in my life because YOU can't let go. I'm not doing it.

PLEASE STOP TRYING TO FIND ME. I DON'T WANT YOU. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. You are NOT going to snatch my happiness away from me. You are NOT going to ruin my future marriage. I was a fool once before. I won't be that fool again.

Confession #2845

Yea, I can do everything you think I should be able to and more. But yes, it's easier with your help. You whine when I ask you for help and then wonder why I don't ask you for help. hmmm

Confession #2846

Well, I don't know about you, but when someone calls me a moron because he is frustrated he didn't find the registration to the car in the place I said it was, it doesn't help to put me in the mood. I don't know, is it just me???? LOL Seriously, it's called think before you speak, idiot.
Love??? Me

Confession #2847

I know you are lying to me about our money situation.

Confession #2848

Do you think it is a coincidence that you run off to Yoga for 6 p.m .... just when the hellish triangle of dinner, homework and evening meltdowns occur? Especially when I know of at least three other classes at the same studio at different times you could attend. But No. Always the 6 o clock class. Your selfishness amazes me.

Confession #2849

To the women of the Ohio Valley - Did you get an unexpected bouquet of lovely red roses for Valentines Day - something your partner would NEVER have bought for you and was completely unexpected? Well, that is because he stole them off of my grandmothers grave. We buried her on Feb 13th, and when my mom went back on the 14th, the three dozen roses in the arrangement were gone - plucked out. All I can say is that if this sounds like your guy, don't marry him. Please.

Confession #2850

We barely speak most days. We almost never sleep in the same bed. The sex - if we have it - is at your insistence because I have no interest in you sexually. I just want you to be done as soon as possible. Your irrational anger at small things has killed any feeling I ever had. I have endured this for nearly 20 years, and you have exhausted me. On the day of our wedding I would have never believed that I could feel nothing but irritation towards you. I loved you so much. This is what all of these small slights and hurtful words, threats and looks have led to. I don't love you anymore.


Tamara said...

I understand each and everything your mad about...or maybe MAD is a MILD word right now....but conf.2841 is the one that hits me the hardest.....When I complained about him changing into someone I don't even KNOW anymore....refer to my picture on my blog.I got my ass kicked..literally.
I simply wanted to friggin leave cuz the conversation was useless,but the word LEAVE is not in his vocabulary.
The one thing I can I would rather keep taking a physical ass kicking,than the mental abuse the fucker put me through for 9 years.
Hang in there...or better what your heart tells you to do,hun.

Anonymous said...

#2850.....I am so with you, except that we still sleep in the same bed. I just go to bed as late as possible to avoid having to spend any more time there than necessary. Our 10th anniv was a month ago. I hope I'm not still here in another 10 years.

Anonymous said...

I could have written this post. I'm sorry to see someone else feels the way I do.

Stitchin said...

#2841: If he pushed for the child, he has what he wanted and doesn’t need to have sex with you again, does he? Sounds as if he’d rather sleep with his sister. And NO, Size 8 is not big! Leave! Leave, leave, leave! I promise you, it isn’t going to get better.

#2844: Ouch. That brings back some painful, unpleasant memories. Does it help to know it wasn’t just you? Because it wasn’t. People need love. If they can’t find good love, they’ll take bad, especially if they don’t know any better. What you did wasn’t shameful – what HE did, WAS. This sounds as if it’s about control – you left on your terms, didn’t you, instead of HIM deciding to turn you out? If you have to, file a restraining order – let him know you’ll be sending it to his C.O. That should stop him.

#2849: I am so sorry.