Saturday, April 19, 2008

True Wife Confessions - The Beginning

I thought it would be good to reprint the original TWC. While they are not anonymous, as they appeared on my "Home" blog, I am Doing the Best I Can, they provided the inspiration and impetus for TWC. They also serve as a reminder that confessions aren't always filled with anger, but may exist as the small "unsaid" things between couples - the space that I think of as the WD-40 area in which the lubricant of what it takes to KEEP a relationship together absorbs the smaller issues.

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Confession #001

Maybe the scratches on the top of car weren't caused by the car wash. Maybe they were caused by your daughter cheerfully clearing the car off with the steel tipped snow shovel. Maybe.

Confession #002

I know that you do loads of your own laundry when I'm not home. I know that you ignore the stack of the family laundry and wash your own personal load. I know this cause I find them in the dryer, and there is no coincidence large enough to convince me that this is "just what you happened to throw in". Especially as it has happened repeatedly for 15 years. This makes me unreasonably mad. That's why I leave all your clothes for the end, sometimes.

Confession #003

Your electronic organizer? The one you loved in 1998? Yeah. That didn't fall out of your car and get run over by your tire. I washed and dried it in the laundry , then tried to get you to think you'd done it by wedging it under your tire, in the rain.

Confession #004

I always spend more than I've told you I've spent. ALWAYS. No one gets this many shoes for what you think I've spent. That's the beauty of my own checking account.

Confession #005

I know where your belt, glasses or wallet are. I just think it's funny to watch you run around like a crazy person looking for them.

Confession #006

I WANT you to go out with your friends. Please. Get out of the house. Plus you always come home awfully grateful for what you have at home after listening to your friends bitch and moan about their wives.

Confession #007

When I say, "I don't care", sometimes I don't care. Sometime I do. Listen for the tone. It's been 15 years, it shouldn't be this hard to figure out.

Confession #008

When you go out of town, I play video games like a maniac. I also leave the bathroom door open when I pee, cause you aren't there to get all freaked out. And I don't do the dishes until right before you come home. Basically, chaos reigns.

Confession #009

I'm not really sleeping when I bump you at night. You're snoring Loudly and I have got to do something to stop the noise.

Confession #010

Your mother and I talk about you. When you are being a shit, I call her and she convinces me to stay married to you. You don't know how much you owe to your mother. Seriously.

6 comments:

Kate said...

Dawn, I've always wondered how that worked -- you commenting on your own blog. Does your husband know you comment? He kind of has to know about TWC, right? Does he know about how these first few confessions are all yours, and if so, did he get mad about the car and the palm-pilot thing? And when he's looking for his glasses, does he get *really* pissed off now?

Dawn said...

Hi Kate -

Yeah, he knows about TWC - and all the other blogs.

And yes - he does now know about these confessions - the car scratches, the palm pilot. I have usually told him these after a nice meal and a alcoholic beverage - so he can laugh about them with me.

However, Terrance doesn't read my blogs. He simply isn't interested. In his opinion, he LIVES with me all the time and has no interest in living with me online as well. There is no Ban from him reading, he simply chooses not to read.

And does he get really pissed off about the confessions? Nah. Do I piss him off occasionally? Hell Yeah - we had a corker of a fight last Friday - which we resolved by Saturday afternoon.

In other words, we are a normal married couple who have been together for 17 years.

Do I still do things I don't tell him about? Um - Yeah. Let's not speak of what may be in my closet at the moment....

ann said...

Dawn, I think you do a great job with this blog. I have never confessed anything but, this blog makes me appreciate my Husband evn more. When I get really upset with him, I think back to some of the comments I have read. Thank you!!

Anonymous said...

Everyone has things in the closet...

Isela said...

I love the confession about the palm pilot...sounds like something I would do to cover up a mistake.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is Thank you for being here. Sometimes we jsut ned to say something out laoud but not be heard.
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