Monday, November 19, 2007

True Wife Confessions 221 B Baker Street

Confession #2201

I love that you want the sweet potato casserole with marshmallows on
top at Thanksgiving dinner. It's great that we get to share the
inside joke of watching my mother wrinkle up her nose at it.

Confession #2202

I feel like I am on an episode of Wife Swap only I never get to go home to my normal, loving husband who treats me well, I am stuck with the other woman's rude, nasty, lazy husband!!!!

Confession #2203

You and I have been married ten years and we have three children. Our
marriage is ok, we tend to bicker a lot and it bothers the
children...everyone says we will end in divorce, but maybe not. What I
really want to tell you is that I have met someone else, but he is
married and has three children as well. We work together and see a lot
of each other, and I honestly don't know if he feels the same way
about me as I do about him because we are both so careful and loyal to
our families and spouses, but I do know one thing, and I'm sorry in
advance. If he ever, ever, ever tried to kiss me I would throw our
marriage out the window as quickly as you can blink. In the past,
whenever there has ever been someone else I've been interested in, I
always knew I wouldn't ever stray physically, but I love and respect
this other man so much that there is no question in my mind what I
would do! This is the reason I have been drinking so much these past
months, and yes, as you say I've been "self-medicating" to treat my
depression. But I am reconciled to it now. I have made my decision,
and like I said, I apologize in advance. Nothing may ever happen
between he and I, but I just wanted to confess in case it does. I
don't know if I hope for something to happen or not, but if it ever
does, I will throw myself to him body and soul. Sorry, honey.

Confession #2204

I saw the first man who I loved and who broke my heart at Wal-Mart the other day. Seeing him still made me a little excited and nervous, even though it has been years.… However, once I got over the little initial rush, I couldn’t help but smile. He had a beer belly, a bad hair cut and had his son with him whose mother left him and broke his heart. It may be evil and vindictive to take pleasure in those few little facts, but it sure does feel good!!


Confession #2205

I have to admit it. I know that we are best friends

and I know that

part of me feels so honored that you both chose to call me, from your
island vacation no less, when you waited to come home to tell everyone
else (even your families) no less, so honored that you wanted to
immediately tell me that you asked her to marry you!

But most of me thinks it sucks!

I was utterly devestated when you told me that you were getting
married and I had to put on an act like it was such wonderful news. I
had to hide from everyone how much it affected me! I am still
devastated by it.

I don't want you to marry someone else, even though I am married too.
Its so final. I am selfish and I want you to be there waiting for me!

I know there are kids involved, I know the hearts that are involved
but I can't help it.

I never should have made love to you, it was a mistake, for all the
obvious reasons but also the reason that we both wanted different
things from it.

You wanted sex, because, duh you are a guy. I thought that is what I
wanted too, but with sex comes feelings and now, I cannot bear to live
without you.

What am I supposed to do? Part of me is resolved to be strong and
never let it happen again. Our families are at stake and it's not
worth it. But my heart is just so drawn to yours. I cannot breathe
without out you. I need you, I want you, I cannot live with out you.

I know I deserve this life of turmoil in which I now live but how can
you be so happy, regardless? Why do you still seem to have it all?

Confession #2206

i feel terrible...i am in a funk right now....i have so much going on with work and school. and on top of that all of our issues, well one issue...no sex...ever. we are so young, mid twenties but you haven't touched me. i should've known better. we've been together six years and still, i thought things would change. i have known a guy for awhile now, longer than i've know you... and we are on a break...but still i cheated.i won't tell you, ever. it would crush you. the kicker is that he now won't call me back...i feel like a fool.

Confession #2207

College educated. Great job. Nice car. Stylish and attractive. You're a good guy...just not the guy for me. You need someone who doesn't like to be touched. You need someone who can handle your harsh criticisms. You need someone who can deal with your laziness, your spoiledness...just your overall ability to make your wife feel like shit. Sometimes I wonder if you really love me or if you're just used to being with me and are afraid to get a divorce. I know you've cheated on me. Emotionally...probably physically too. Don't feel alone. I have done the same. I can delete text messages and emails just like you do.

I want my ex back. When I'm around him I feel SO good. I feel those butterflies that you used to give me so long ago. The last time he hugged me...I daydreamed about it for weeks. And that was just a hug!

I'm sorry it will be ending this way. I used to wish you were my "one" but sadly, you are not. And I'm okay with that. I know who my "one" is...I just have to get rid of you. I'm working on that. It won't be too much longer. Good luck in life...and love. You'll probably be happier with her. Oh...you didn't think I knew...but I do.

Confession #2208

We've been married for 10 years although you can't call our marriage storybook, it's been good and rewarding for both of us. We have been blessed with two beautiful boys and you have treated me with love and respect until lately. Why is not after all of these years of beautiful passionate sex that you want to cum on my face. Wasn't it enough for me to suck you and swallow your cum even though you know I detest the taste, but because I love you, I did for you. Now you want to cum on my face. How does this give you pleasure? I know you look at porn on the computer. I found the pictures and videos you downloaded even though you think you did a good job of hiding them. They are utterly disgusting. When did you begin enjoying this type of perversion? How could women allow as many of twenty men cum on their faces and why does this excite you? When you asked the first time I objected but because you objected and I love you I did it for you. I told you I didn't enjoy it afterwards when actually I hated every moment. I felt like a cheap whore. Your cum shooting up my nose and in my eyes make give you pleasure but makes me feel dirty. When your finished jerking off in my face, you kiss my forward -everytime ensuring your come does not contact your cum- and go to sleep. I have to get up and go into the bathroom to wipe your cum from my face. I FEEL SO DIRTY...It is difficult to look at myself in the mirror before wiping it off. If literally makes me sick. If I wasn't so tired I would take a hot shower. I still love you but because you refuse to take my feelings into account I am quickly loosing respect for you. I don't know how long I can allow this continue but I know I will end it one way or another. I love you so much and you are so good to me in every other way. Why don't you listen to me and stop. Why can't things go back to the way they were?

Confession #2209

have a jump off guy. That's a guy I have sex with on and off. It's not a relationship. Honestly, he's too street for me and I'm too...shelter and frankly educated for him. But he's a decent person. The sex is great. But he has made a habit out of letting me down. He doesn't come over when he says he will. I mean how can you be too lazy to have sex? We're both young and active. So, one night we made plans for him to come by. I even called to make sure he was coming cause I needed to get some. Then he says " I'll be over around nine tonight" That was two months ago. He never came. He never called, or even texted. Just because I'm your booty call don't mean you shouldn't call when you won't be able to make it. Damn it! What happen to common courtesy? He called me yesterday to see how I was doing in light of the writers strike. He's so full of it. It had nothing to do with the WGA strike. He just wanted to get some. I didn't call him back. @#@#$ him.
But between us girls, I miss his hands on me. I miss being held...

Confession #2210

I never knew about your affair until after our marriage ended.
Your little friend in Colorado told me everything.
Does "butter" mean anything to you?
I'm telling your new wife everything, including our little sexcapades while you were dating her.
She will leave you.
And I will take you back.

49 comments:

wonderalice said...

2208

As a woman who gets turned on by guys cumming on her face I have to say I can't understand your feelings about it. Regardless of my incapability to understand, your husband should respect you and stop when you tell him to. You say you are losing your respect for him, he doesn't deserve any and apparently has zero for you.

Next time he cums on your face wipe it off and and spread it onto his then turn over and go to sleep. Let him get up for once and wipe it off, maybe then he will know how you feel. Or maybe not, it would at least give you a bit of harmless revenge.

Ida said...

To Wonderalice - This was my post and am now conflicted over your comments. Do you think I'm being prudish about this? I haven't strayed much beyond traditional sex and am too embarrassed to speak to any of my friends about it. In fact, it took quite a bit of courage to post this at TWC. Other than in porn, I didn't think this something that actually happened in peoples bedroom as part of a normal sex routine. Maybe I'm just ignorant and am looking at this the wrong way. Who's idea was it for this, yours or his? Do you actually enjoy the act or do you just enjoy him getting off on doing it to you? Have I been looking at this the wrong way and been closed mindedd to something that I should have been more understanding and accepting? Now I'm really confused....

Anonymous said...

Ida -

I am also a woman that doesn't mind it but I won't give a hand job. It bothers me for some reason and even though I know a ton of other people that are ok with it, I'm not. Its all about personal comfort and I think it's important to remember this: No matter if everyone else is ok with it or enjoys it, you don't and it's important that your husband respect and acknowledge your feelings.

wonderalice said...

Ida

The idea was mine, I was always just too embarrassed to ask for it in previous relationships. The relationship I am in now is completely and totally open and loving in every single way, so I had no reservations about asking for or taking what I want, and he has no reservations about complying. Our sex life is fantastic, we have porn star sex in the best way.

I do not think you are being prudish about this at all, you simply do not like it, and that's ok. Many people are into different things sexually, a good sex life is finding the balance with your partner and pleasing each other simply for the pleasure that it gives you. Your husband seems unable to do that. Have you talked to him and told him exactly how it makes you feel in a raw and unedited conversation? If not, please try, it might make things so much better for you. If you are willing to try other things that may be kinkier then you usually like, you may find that inner "freak" and have a lot of fun in the bedroom. Maybe he will enjoy the new you so much he will cease with the facials.

It's one approach.

Anonymous said...

Ida
For me it was my husband's idea and initially I was turned off by having him do that to me. I, like you, didn't think of it as sexually exciting. I relented to his request and the first time I neither liked it or disliked it. After a few times, I started to look at it differently, I would watch closely as he was ready to let go and after a while I found that it actually began to excite me. Initially we found it uncomfortable after he was done but I think we were treating it too seriously. After awhile I began to comment when we was done on the amount or his aim.....I don't like getting it in my eyes because it burns... This changed the way we both treated it. As for the end, I normally keep a warm wet washcloth next to the bed or wherever so when he's done, it's a quick wipe up and we're snuggling in each others arms. You still must be comfortable with him and him doing this to you. We all change over time and maybe there is a possibility you will change your attitude toward this and then again maybe you won't change. Let the decision come naturally. Good luck.

D said...

to all the cheaters: why do people who cheat think they deserve happy, stable, loving relationships. you all deserve the crap you're living in. not to be harsh, but it's true.

2204: i recently ran into an ex girlfriend who dumped me. she used to have a body like Toni Braxton. now she is well over 200 pounds, with three kids and a loser husband (the guy she left me for). i still feel guilty over my sheer joy of dodging that very, very, very big bullet.

2208: you're not being a prude necessarily. but you have to understand that times change and so do sexual norms. there was a time when many women thought that giving a blowjob was the most disgusting thing in the world and that only the dirtiest whores did it. now it's just a normal part of sex.

you're asking a lot of good questions. just direct them towards him. instead of sounding judgmental and repulsed, just ask him why he enjoys it so much. i can almost assure you that as his wife, he isn't looking at you like "a cheap whore." to keep it real with you, though, i suspect the fact that you're so uptight and prudish about it could be why he enjoys it so much. making a good girl do bad things is...well....hot.

that said, based on your comments in this section, i think you're going to end up doing it regularly and enjoying it. look at it this way, if your man goes down on you, he is not only tasting and swallowing everything, he is willingly taking your secretions all over his face.

2209: "letting you down?"...whooaaa....you're breaking the jump-off rules. don't get all wrapped up in the person. by their nature, jump-off get-togethers are sporadic. if he sees you, he sees you. if he doesn't, he doesn't. yes it's rude not to call and cancel, but truthfully he doesn't even owe you that courtesy. by the way, he wasn't too lazy to have sex. chances are he was with another jump-off. and now you're denying yourself hours of orgasms to teach a meaningless lesson to a random guy you're not supposed to even care that much about.....yeah, you're caught up. i suggest you: 1) check your feelings and be sure you can truthfully handle these types of no-strings arrangements and 2) get yourself another jump-off and only see the first guy every once in a while.

2210: it might work out the way you hope, but you will just lose him again. guaranteed.

Anonymous said...

#2204 -- I take guilty pleasure in knowing that the guy who broke my heart still lives with his parents.. 20 years later.

turned off said...

Ida,

I'm a sexually open and adventurous person. We have sex toys and try different positions. I give and receive oral sex so I'm no prude by any definition but I have to say that I find the idea of coming on someone's face to be totally disrespectful and smacks of mysoginy to me. Some women might like it (some women also like rape fantasies.. that doesn't mean it's not degrading) but I'd never let my DH do it and thankfully he finds it as repulsive as I do.

Just saying that you're not alone in thinking it's not o.k.

Anonymous said...

Ida,

If you don't like it, you don't like it. You don't need to defend yourself or examine your psyche.

And for him to not bring you a washcloth or a tissue and help you clean up is just rude.

*IF* you decide to give it another try put some tissues by the bed or get a washcloth ready. Better yet, wipe yourself off on his hair.

Ida said...

I want to thank you for your wonderful feedback and advice. It's just like having a big sister to confide in. Now it is time to take in your comments and reach down deep into my soul to decide what is right for me. I don't want to rush into anything, either pro or con but take some time to really reflect on a personal and spiritual level. If my hubby desires to do this again, for now the answer will be no and I will explain why I need time. I hope he understands (deep inside I know he will). Once again, I love you all for your support (and diverse set of opinions). Would you be interested in me returning in the future to let you know how this turned out?

Anonymous said...

Once again D nails it on the head... his own. Ida, I agree with the many posters who have said basically " Hey, this isn't for you, don't do it". Not everyone is into everything and it doesn't make you a prude or that your behind somehow in the sexual movement. You just know what ya like and what ya don't. I really don't think this requires soul searching (remember what we're talking about here) just tell your DH the truth, hell there are sooo many other things beside this one small aspect, I feel you and he will be just fine. Don't overthink -- this is not a big deal. Have a wonderful marriage, Ida.

Anonymous said...

I don't think you're a prude, Ida, and I agree that he ought to at least bring you a washcloth or something. My husband does that and he just gets off in the "usual" spot . . . lol.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who loves to be choked while having sex, one who loves anal, some who are pretty straight-laced, and one who won't even give her husband a blowjob. Like the previous posts have said, it's all up to the individual. It's supposed to be enjoyable and exciting, not uncomfortable or degrading.

Anonymous said...

Ida, my hubby gave me my first facial about a year ago. At the time I wasn't crazy about but it really seemed to get him hot so I allowed him to cum on my face and deal with the sticky mess afterward. After a few times the excitement associated with doing something new and different was gone for me but frankly, it was beginning to get to be a bit boring and in addition, I was a getting a little jealous of him getting all of the pleasure out of the act and leaving me as just a spectator. I then turned the table on him one night after he finished shooting his load on my face I asked him if he loved my and of course he said yes, with all his heart. I then asked him if he would fulfill a fantasy of mine for me and of course the answer was again yes. I told him that although I didn't get pleasure from him cumming on my face that I had been fantasizing that when he was finished, he would gently and lovingly clean his mess from my face using his lips and tongue. You should have seen the look on his face. He really didn't expect me to ask him to do this and more so, he obviously didn't know to respond. He didn't directly answer my question but instead leaned over and did what I asked, mixing in gentle and passionate kisses while he cleaned me. I (and he) was so aroused after this we made love (which is a big achievement because two erections in a row are a rarity in our home). Since that event, he has changed his attitude about cumming on my face. Although we still do it, it is not at the frequency that he had wanted to do it in the past. I think it's because he doesn't like the taste of his own cum, LOL! Just something another example of how someone else handled a similar situation.

D said...

12:19 p.m.....that is sick...just sick. i would think him taking your cum on his face would be enough...lol

but that's definitely one way to get a guy to stop.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ida,
I'm all for compromise in marriage, and for keeping your spouse happy. But hon, this is clearly making YOU unhappy, and YOU are half of this relationship and YOU count too. I applaud you for trying it (and it sounds like you've tried it more than once), but there's no reason why you should keep doing it if you don't enjoy it! And this has nothing to do with being a prude, BTW. Sex should be fun for both parties, whether you're a missionary only couple or swinging from the rafters over a flock of sheep wrapped in vynil couple. The biggest sin sex can commit is to be joyless.
So please don't beat yourself up over this. It's your face, your body, your sex life.
PS D, ya can't help being judgy mcjudgerson, can you? Blech.

D said...

i'm opining, not judging 2:47 p.m.

by the way, don't 99 percent of the posts on this blog pertain to husbands who REFUSE to do things their wives want them to do, including chores, going out, getting in shape, having more sex, having kinkier sex, etc., etc. i NEVER see anyone saying to the confessors "you should just understand your husband is different than you. if he doesn't want to do something he doesn't have to do it. you have to learn to live without it."

no...the comments are usually something like "girl, no, you're not asking for a lot. you deserve to get exactly what you want. if your husband doesn't understand that then (fill in the random solution)."

that said, i didn't tell ida she was wrong for not liking it or even that she should do it. all i said was more than likely she'll end up doing it and eventually she won't think it's a big deal.

Anonymous said...

No, you didn't D. You said she'll end up doing it regularly and liking it.

Yes, we support each other here, that's what this site is about. You feel confused, do you? That's because YOU ARE AN UNMARRIED MAN.

Next time you feel the need to comment, tell your buddies. Then you'll get all the affirmation you need.

And BTW, you said 12;19 was sick -- that DOES make you Mr. Judgy McJudgerson. I'm very curious; how old are you? Late 20's?

D said...

1) i was joking with 12:19...hence the lol after the sentence.

2) blind support isn't real support.

3) yes...i said i think she'll do it and like it, which also means she won't think it's a big deal. (there's a written record here so i'm obviously not trying to hide from my comments.)

4) my age is nunya, but i'll answer anyway. early 30s.

Anonymous said...

Yeah I love vailed judgement visa via a "lol".

BLIND support is the ONLY support given here, duh.

You're so wrong, and so freaking quick with your blanket assessments it's ignorant.

So I was off a few years. Basically had you pegged.

You need a different bloody outlet.

Anonymous said...

And BTW Dawn, love the Sherlock reference!

D said...

anonymous...have a good night.

Anonymous said...

Oh and one more thing, Happy Thanksgiving, D. I wish you and yours the best.

Happy Thanksgiving to Dawn and all the TW here, many blessings to you and all of your loved ones.

Signed,
Anon From VA

Anonymous said...

Good evening to you, too, D. I am sincere in wishing you and your loved ones a wonderful TGiving.

Sleepless in Seattle said...

Ida, you're doing the right thing. Take some time to reflect and how (and why) you are going to choose your path. Everyone's sexuality is different and has alot to do with the environment they were raised in and their life experiences to date. It seems you led a more sheltered life which has restricted your view of what's out there. That doesn't mean just because you weren't aware of certain sexual practices that you will find these acceptable, it's just that they are new and different. For example, I am one of those woman who ejaculates when having an orgasm so everyone once in a while, I give my hubby a facial. Until we were intimate with one another, he never knew a woman could ejaculate. It was his idea for me to squirt my juices on his face and he says it really turns him so how cool is that? It all comes down to "different strokes for different folks". It sounds like you and your husband have a good strong relationship. Just talk honestly with him and I'm sure everything will work out for you. Have a great Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

#2202--have you ever actually SEEN "wife swap?" there are no normal, loving, wonderful husbands on that show. they're ALL circus freaks. it's just that the circus freak you're more familiar with is seemingly less freakadelic than the freak you don't know...

Anonymous said...

My husband has given me a facial before too, and really I don't think it's a big deal at all. He's very visual, he likes to SEE it happening. I could care less. I wash my face and it's done. It makes him happy and doesn't bother me.

Anonymous said...

Well it's Thanksgiving day and hubby is taking nap after indulging in too much turkey and wine. We spent a quiet day by ourselves which is nice. So the kitchen's cleaned up and I'm catching up on the blog and this one caught my eye. I've never had anyone give me a facial before and I find it kind of intriquing. I am by far not a prude but me and hubby have a good but pretty boring sex life. He grew up in a farm in Iowa and has not led a life of sexual experimentation, in fact, I'm his first. I'm tempted to ask him about this one night while we're in bed to see if he's interested. I don't think I will find his coming on my face repulsive, in fact, I'm interested to see what the experience will really be like. Maybe it will help break up the hum drum bedroom life that we've fallen into. Who knows, maybe we'll both like it. You never know until you try.....

Anonymous said...

My first partner was a very "by the book" missionary vanilla sex person.

I offered other things to renew a spark ( oral sex etc) but Nope. He wasn't interested.

I am now with a person with whom I have dynamic, amazing sex. While we have not done the "facial" exactly, I have asked him to come on my breasts, and also given very messy blowjobs where his come was all over my mouth.

I was honestly worried that I would find it gross, but I wanted to try it so I would see.

I really, really enjoyed it. Now of course, there is LOTS of mutual things in our sex - he is very aware of me and makes sure that I am satisfied, so I don't feel as if I am doing something only for him.

And don't be afraid of having sex in non intercourse ways. That was the most liberating thing for me - we had AMAZING sex today, ending in a handjob. I used to think that if a man didn't "end" inside you, it wasn't a satisfying orgasm.

Thank goodness I found a partner who is playful and attentive.

Good luck to you all! And HAVE FUN!

Anonymous said...

As was mentioned in a previous comment, I also agree that some men are very visual and the act of cumming on a woman's face allows them to both see and feel their ejaculation at the same time. My husband and I try to keep our sex life dynamic so as to not fall into the rut many married couples do. He's not cummed on my face, but also on my breasts, belly and ass, depending on what his interest is at the time. I do find it somewhat exciting being able to see him ejaculate because each time is different so I never know what to expect. Sometimes the amount is small while others I sometimes I wondered if he was ever going to stop.....and then there's always the force of ejaculation or as I affectionatly call it, the "squirt factor". Sometimes it's not very impressive and other times, well... let me put it this way, if this was an Olympic event and they compete by distance, he would have taken the gold medal, LOL. I only have one rule with facials and that is he in not permitted to cumm in my eyes. It's not that I prefer him to do it on some parts of my face to others, it's just the one time he had I found it is terribly irratating and burns which of course dampens the moment. I must say it is certainly interesting to be able to hear from others on such topic. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I unfortunately am not one of the fortunate who have taken today off from work. Time for me to get ready for work now,YUK!

D said...

Let me ask all of you women who enjoy it a few questions:

1) Do you see it as a degrading act and enjoy it because you like being degraded? If not, why exactly do you like it?

2) Do you think your man/husband sees it as degrading and that's why he enjoys it?

3) Do you think your man/husband sees you as a "whore" for doing it? (I mean whore in the bad way, not the good way...lol).

4) Is it an everytime thing or something that happens every once in a while?

Anyway, I'm curious what the original confessor thinks after reading all these comments.

coladiola said...

Gee, I thought this site was about anonymous confession. I didn't know there was a rule that all comments had to be non-judgemental and blindly supportive. Me for honest opinions & considered judgement. Isn't it great that one confession can be bashed to kingdom cum (knee slap) and another lauded to the skies while they might both be from the SAME person? Isn't it awesome that that person has the opportunity to get a reality check from their peers with no fear of encountering judgement or reprisals in their actual life?

d, thanks for saying this: "i suspect the fact that you're so uptight and prudish about it could be why he enjoys it so much. making a good girl do bad things is...well....hot." It makes me want to slap men at random and en masse, but that's my problem, and it's a good point.

Noticed some anonymous name calling, Ms. Judgy McJudgerson, which I HAD heard was against the rules...

coladiola said...

BTW d, 6:46 pm Ida did say what she thought after reading all these comments, and yes, I for one would like to see her follow-up.

Also, no, most of the posts here aren't about what he hasn't done for her lately, and those that do usually include a long list of the expectations the poster is meeting. Further, the tone of the comments does run towards "we hear ya, but men are just that way - love'em or be lonely." Let me just take this opportunity to blanket them all with DTMFA!!!! So I don't need to keep saying it. #2206, I'm looking at you...

Anonymous said...

I think alot of these comments are "d". Who the hell do you think you are anyways? Numero uno: What the hell right do you think you have asking any of those questions? Period. Numero dos: It's none of your damn business. I could go on. I suspect you are a chump. LOL. It's like you want us to kiss and tell for some perverted amusement you have. Like I would tell you anything. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

sufficiently cold said...

D-

1. I see it as a degrading act, and YES I do enjoy being degraded in the bedroom.

2. I am not sure if he sees it as degrading, but i do know that it took me over 2 years to get him comfortable calling me his dirty little slut in the bedroom. Little did I know he used to fantasize about cumming on my face he was just to worried to ask if i liked it.

3. Goddamn right he sees me as a whore for doing, I really don't wish to be seen any other way in the bedroom.

4. If I could I would have him do it every night, for now it's every once in awhile, sometimes we are just to tired for the effort.

I truly believe that if every woman in the world would dig a little deeper and find that "inner whore" everyones sex life would be amazingly wonderful.

sufficiently cold said...

I also have to say that THIS is the type of comment section I love, we have banded together around a sore subject and rallied ourselves for Ida in a mostly non judgmental fashion. Go us!

sleepless in seattle said...

I wholeheartedly agree with sufficiently cold. What a great way to share thoughts in the most open manner without fear of judgement! Some topics are so intimate in nature that most wouldn't dare to bring up in conversation including myself. In my small band of close friends, the topic of our sex lives is not uncommon but it is usually general and vague so as not to embarrass or offend. It is not unusual for us to discuss how often it's done, how long does he last, do we try to do things differently to spice things up but they seldom get descriptive. Although I don't consider myself shy or prude, I would have a difficult time during one of these chats saying, "oh, my hubby and I tried something new last night, a came all over my face". Maybe there's an smooth way to discuss such explicit details but I haven't found it yet. And yet, in other circles, this type of explicit discussion might be the norm and my perception is limited by my personal relationships. So yea for TWC and it's ability to freely express thoughts in an annonymous manner without fear of judgement.

D said...

"I truly believe that if every woman in the world would dig a little deeper and find that "inner whore" everyones sex life would be amazingly wonderful." - sufficiently cold

you know, this is like ancient chinese wisdom right here....LOL..

oneman said...

D, I can't see how trying to compare a husband unwilling to help around the house to a person unwilling to perform a certain sexual act is a valid comparison. Unless the guy is a neanderthal or something, there is no degrading his feelings helping around the house.

ida, Stick to you guns. You tried it and are not happy doing it. I know you have spoken to him about it, what was his reaction ?

2202, At least in wife swap it only lasts a few days. But think of it this way, that person you cringing at is somebody else partner and hopefully she loves him for who he is.

To the ones who are cheating, go speak to your partners. How would you feel it this was happening to you.

coladiola said...

Sufficiently cold, do you like to be degraded in the bedroom because there's no chance of it in the rest of the relationship, or because you like being submissive in general?

I like messy sex, but I hate disrespect.

D said...

coladiola,

i'm curious about what sufficiently says as well. but i know that in my case for my woman, it is very important to have the boundaries firmly established. we take joy in making sex as filthy as possible but all those types of degrading words, actions, activities, etc. are limited to our home and usually to our bedroom. i can't walk in the kitchen and say "make my breakfast you dirty slut." the only thing i'll get is hot grits and not on a plate.

in other words, your thought is correct. the degrading sex only works if you have absolute trust and respect in all other aspects of the relationship.

Anonymous said...

1. I do enjoy it and I don't think of it as being degraded. Power and respect don't necessarily equate to what we like in sex. That being said, as a very dominant woman, I like a little dominance in the bedroom from my partner.I Like when he asserts himself, and I encourage it. I view these sexual acts as gifts of love - that I love giving. A win win for both of us.

2. I asked today - we had great sex which ended with him cumming on my breasts - and he loves it because he feels so completely accepted by me. He, like many guys, is very visual. He feels very masculine around this particular sex act.

3. Nope he does not see me as a whore, but I do tell him that I am his slut, that I am a whore for him - and this turns him on immensely. Again, this is all negotiated in our sex play. I like it. He likes it. Would I allow him to call me a "Whore" or "slut" on the street? No, of course not. I am a very professional woman and would not accept that from anyone. However, in bed naked with the man that I love? I find it hot being his whore.

4. It isn't an everytime thing. And here is where I think many people get into trouble in the bedroom. We have everything from straight up missionary sex, to from behind in front of the bathroom mirror, to a some illicit fingering/handjob. I don't offer blow jobs unless I want to( and he subsequently gets more blow jobs at 40 than he has ever gotten in his Life - like 3 a week)

But it is because I want to do this. From the beginning, we promised that we would not do anything that the other didn't want to do. On the flip side, we talked about things we wanted to try together and made a very safe space sexually between us.

I also have to add that my partner now is fabulous at foreplay. I am so hot for him that by the time the "intercourse" part happens, I would just about do anything for him.

sufficiently cold said...

coladiola and d-

I like being degraded in bed simply because I know that I have "whore" and "slut" in me I also have a great big dose of "bitch." I wrap myself in ALL the aspects of who i am and am loathe to suppress ANY of them. That includes the aforementioned slut, bitch and whore aspects. I guess I just figure why not celebrate all of me instead of just those that everyone around me finds acceptable. I was lucky enough to find a partner who feels the exact same way, about me and himself.

It goes without saying that most of our name calling and degradation takes place in private or in the bedroom, every once in awhile he comes out with a random "bitch" or "slut" in public, it does nothing but make me instantly hot and wanting to satisfy his every whim.

Anonymous said...

Well, I am recently divorced and what sex we did have was boring.... I keep telling my current partner to teach me some new tricks and I am willing to try most anything at least once. I love this type of discussion-- truly--- I need ideas and want to keep learning... is there a truesexconfessions site where I can find some new tricks to try??

oneman said...

To all those who like feeling degraded in the bedroom (or anywhere else you like having sex), all power to you. Everyone is different, everyone have their own boundaries, if its giving HJ, BJ, money shot, having someone cum on you, having multiple people involved, being pissed or shat upon, tied up or beaten up. As long as you and your partner are comfortable with it and you are not harming anybody else, who cares.

I have a long term partner, over time we have both explored our limits, crossed them sometimes and expanded them at others. The basis for all this has been a loving and trusting relationship. We talk about sex and what we would like to do. Some fantasies stay in my head, as I am sure does my partners, maybe saved for the future, maybe not. And yes, sex may not be as frequent the older you get but its definitely a case of quality over quantity.

I will also say to all the people not being satisfied in bed (Anonymous, thats you),
1. Stop faking it, if you are, you are not doing anybody any favours, espically your partner.
2. Talk about it, if your relationship is good outside the bedroom, there is not reason for it not be strong inside.
3. If that does not work, then seek outside help. It sometimes helps to get a 3rd party view on things.

Anonymous said...

I responded earlier that my husband liked it and it didn't bother me so I'll answer the questions.
1) I don't like it nor do I dislike it. My husband likes it. He does lots of things I like so I do lots of things he likes. I don't think it's degrading at all.

2) I don't think he sees it that way at all.

3) Not at all. I think he loves that I'm willing to try new things.

4) Every now and then.

Anonymous said...

Ida

As with everyone else I agree that you should not do anything in the bedroom that you are not comfortable with. But let me tell you about our sex life regarding facials...I enjoy it a lot; but then again I enjoy porn star sex at it's best! One of the things we do is that he comes on my face and then in a very sexy way, using my fingers I wipe it off of my face and put some in my mouth and his! We usually end up laughing hysterically about all of the places we need to clean up cum from. Best of luck to you!

Anonymous said...

2204 I recently saw the girl who dumped me for her {friend} he badgered her until she let go of me, and got knocked up. 3 kids by 3 different guys, he's a deadbaet no job, has 4 other kids and now she's calling me to whine, Sorry not interested, Feels good i must admit.

JamieC said...

I remember being a teenager and hearing two of my girlfriends talk about getting semen in their mouth, and I was very curious, but never had a chance until I gave a guy a handjob a year or so later.

We had been dating about a month, he was 18, and we were in his truck near the lake late one night with no one around. We were getting all hot and making out and much to my surprise he put my hand on his crotch and held it there.

I wasn't ready to have sex or do a blow job, but I was **VERY** ready to get my hands on his penis, and to experience this mystical semen that I had heard so much about. I stroked him for awhile, until he ejaculated all over both of my hands. There was quite a bit, looking back, and it was very stringy and clumpy - not at all what I had expected. I assumed it would be more like milk.

I was extremely curious (and quite horny), so I just started licking it all off my hands, between my fingers, under my fingernails and everything. I was pleasantly surprised; I thought it was very enjoyable.