Wednesday, May 06, 2009

True Wife Confessions Etude 12

Confession #111

Your best friend hit on me, pretty hard. I was strangely flattered and offended at the same time.

Confession #112

Why do I have to leave the house for you to bathe, feed, and put the kids to bed? Couldn't you do it just once or twice a week? After all, that's still 5 or 6 days less than I'd be doing it. Ass.

Confession #113

I've spent waaay more while you've been away these five months, than I
will ever tell you, ever. I also let our daughter watch hours of t.v.
And I drink too much. And smoke quite a bit more than you imagine, as
well. And the worst part? I don't really give a shit.

Confession #114

Your stomping and pouting are no longer cute. Suck it up and learn how to manage your anger. A man in his mid 40's should have better coping skills than those you display.

Confession #115

When I ask you to change a diaper, it's not out of spite. I just want you to change a damn diaper. I work too, you're not the only one, and I know damn well that you can smell that shitty diaper the same as I can.

Confession #116

I am in love with another man. I will be leaving you..sooner then I thought. You never see it coming.

Confession #117

I have to admit that it is reassuring to hear you get impatient with the girls. I love listening to you sighing with exasperation and unable to form complete sentences because of whatever they've done. It helps me remember that my own impatience with them does not mean that I'm crazy.

Confession #118

When we thought our infertilty was because of your crappy sperm, I seriously considered leaving you.

Confession #119

I think your mom is the world's worst mother for the way she raised you and your siblings. There aren't any excuses for the things she did, and I'm never going to like her. Ever.

Confession #120

I tell everyone that you are the best and that there is no one in the world
like you, but when we have sex and I close my eyes, it's never you I see.
The memory of my old college boyfriend comforts me in our bed and sometimes
on the computer after I google him and track down his old friends so that I
know snippets of his life. He's an obsession.


Anonymous said...

I like that these are all very short confessions. Sometimes the diatribes are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I have interest in reading. Keep it short and sweet, Ladies.

Leesa said...

Some of these are really sad.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with Anon 11:24. Keep it short and to the point, but not necessarily sweet! : )

Grow Up said...

#114 - I think we are married to the same person. Annoying, isn't it?

chocdrop said...

This my new obsession. I can not get enough......
It's raw and so damn real!! I will submit very soon.

Anonymous said...

I'm also married to a pouter (#114) and a tantrummer (tantrumist?). I recently read a great book on coping with verbal abuse where the author says you need to call the person on the behavior consistently-- but not in a mean way, just a very matter of fact way. She actually says you should say to the tantrumming spouse, "Now, let's stop being silly. I'm not going to pretend with you anymore -- that you're the only one who's ever had to deal with a bad boss, a broken car, etc. That's just silly." Apparently it completely disarms the other person when instead of going along you just call them on the, well, silliness of their behavior (but not in a blaming, namecalling way -- more like "fine, you behave like a child, but I'm an adult and I think you're being silly.") Actually, I've been using this approach and it works wonders. YMMV.

Russian wife said...

It somewhat depressing and sad idea to post this type of confessions. What about positive thinking? Anything that cheerfulized our existence?

Anonymous said...

Russian wife, you've "cheerfulized" my existence already this evening. You have a charming way with language! I'm afraid I'm going to have to borrow that great new word!