Sometimes I wonder if we should really be together. If it weren't for our
daughter, I'm not sure I would put up with your bullshit.
Have I told you I hate your family? From your alcoholic brother, to your
sister and her inane blathering about nothing, to your father who watched
me from our living rooom, drinking coffee, while I shoveled 18 inches of
snow from our driveway at 6am before I went to work, to your mother who
said "I'll just make some dinner for me and your father" after I came home
from work and picking up our son from football. I mean, hey, don't bother
with us.... we aren't tired or hungry and god knows, we don't have to
eat...... assholes. Next time you go into the hospital and they come to
"help", tell them I'd rather sit through a discussion of third world
politics with Paris Hilton.... at least it will be shorter than their visit
and I know there is an end in sight.
Why do you get pissed off when I ask you not to say inappropriate things in front of our children? I appreciate the fact that you think I'm sexy, but when our seven year old son snuggles up to me and lays his head on my chest, don't look at him and say "hey, those are MINE." That is just wrong, and could be confusing to a child.
I rarely ever orgasm with you. I've faked it 99% of the time that I've been with you. Now that we have two small children, and you continue to not show me any day to day affection, or appreciation, yet have the ability to criticize multiple times a day, I loathe every time we have sex. I find no enjoyment in it. It's all an act. I just go through the motions and wait for it to be done and when it is, I just feel cheap and used up. You're sucking the lively hood out of me, and I just let it happen because I would never be able to support the kids with out your income
Please, for the love of GOD, tell your friends that I don't want to host guests EVERY NIGHT!!! I don't want to go to someone's house to hang out every night that we don't have guests, either. I want some time, just the two of us, to run around the house in our underwear, so to speak. I hate that we can't even spend our ANNIVERSARY together without five different people trying to convince us to go hang out with them even after I've politely declined their offer, explaining that it's our anniversary!!! Some of these friends are in their thirties and forties. They should be grown-up enought to take NO for an answer the first time, not to mention the tenth time I have to say it! If you don't tell them, so help me God, I'm going to tell them, and when I do, we just might have plenty of one-on-one time together for quite a while, get it? And BTW, don't try saying it's her just the same as him, because she's told me she'd rather the two of them spend some alone time at their own house, if she could get him to. You could also be a man and tell them NO yourself, instead of telling them to ask me every time! Grow some, and JUST SAY NO!!
I remember telling you after dating for a month that I had done some things I was not proud of and that if you couldn't handle it you were free to leave. Basically, I would never tell you my NUMBER. Give you the LIST. And I wouldn't want to know yours. You hugged me and said that you didn't care what I had done before. You loved me for who I turned out to be because of those experiences. But, after three years of dating and two years of marriage, you've started to take jabs at the amount of guys I've slept with. I fucking hate you for that. It's really not fair. Doesn't stop me from loving you because I think you're feeling insecure about our postmarried kind of boring sex life, but it still pisses me off. Don't throw that shit in my face.
Yes, I have a cocktail in my hand. Again. For the third night this week. I am the sole caregiver for our young children. The fact that I have a cocktail in my hand 2-3 nights a week...the moment you walk in the door? Ought to be a given!
The fact that I don't wake up in the morning, roll out of bed and immediately pour myself a martini? Well, that is more of a miracle than the Virgin Mary!
You think I'm the perfect wife. You think I enjoy cuddling with you. You have no idea that I'm in love with a woman and have learned why I was never comfortable with the physical part of our relationship.
I'm having a hard time remembering why we got married in the first place, the level of resentment that I feel on almost a daily basis is really starting to "taint" my outlook. I'm tired of coming to you and asking, begging, pleading, yelling, seducing, talking to you about the same thing over and over. I've tried every tactic and it's always the same, I get nothing. How can you expect me to not feel this way when day after day you come home from work and leave it all up to me??? You work late, come home, eat your dinner and spend a lot of your free time on the computer. Do you not realize how shitty I feel when I tell you that I feel lonely and that I need you? Do you not realize how angry it makes me??? Do you not realize that you are supposed to be the 'man of the house' and you need to step it up and HELP ME???? I don't think I can lower my expectations anymore than they already are. This is not the kind of relationship I wanted and it makes me sad.
You made me stop drinking, when you are the one with the outrageous drinking problem. It is so bad, I can't even drink wine with my dinner. When I tell you I'm going to my mothers house for the weekend to help her out, I'm really checked into a hotel drinking all weekend with my girlfriends, and you are the one footing the bill.