I saw someone in a walker standing in the road late at night and
stopped to help her. I gave her a ride to her niece's house. I
didn't tell you because I knew you would lecture me about safety and,
more importantly, you would resent me doing anything to help someone
who isn't a member of our household. You get annoyed if I babysit my
sister's kids, too.
I have been married to you for 15 yrs and I am so bored with you. You have an extremely low sex drive and even viagra doesn't work on you. Pathetic. I keep myself up in every physical way and you are a blob to me. Other men look at me and I wish I could be with some of them. Even just to get intellectually stimulated (which does not happen with you.) This is our second marriage and I am not really young so my dilemma is should I just stay in this marriage with all the insurance benefits Or leave this marriage. The thought of setting up my own computer and getting myself insurance is truly nauseating! Not having to eat dinner alone is a plus and I guess most couples stay in their marriages at this stage life.
I miss you.
Not the you who, blaming me for everything, walked away from the marriage and lied to his friends and family about why our lives fell apart.
No, I miss the man I married. He was wonderful, and we had a bright future ahead of us. I miss the man who told my best friend that I was the woman he had been waiting for his whole life. I miss the man who promised to grow old with me. I miss the man I adored and who adored me, who loved every little kindness I did for him, and who would have taken a bullet for me. He was a wonderful, kind, sweet, generous, loving man, and I loved him.
I feel like he's gone forever. As though he'll never come back . . . even if you walk back in that door.
Stupid mental disorder. You wouldn't take responsibility for it. You let it win. You let it destroy everything good about you, and then you blamed me for the damage it caused.
I can forgive you for the pain, the hurt, and the damage, but I cannot forgive you for letting it destroy your life, my life, and our marriage. What happened was senseless. We'll both be the poorer for it, and forever wonder what our lives would have been like otherwise. It's not too late--but it will be soon. You can still fix this. Please, wake up and understand what really happened. Please, get a proper therapist who understands your condition. Please, before I'm forced to divorce you. Please, it will soon be too late. Please.
I have cheated on my husband with my ex-boyfriend through out my ten year marriage. I even had sex with my ex-boyfriend while I was pregnant. I am a horrible wife.
I am trying hard to fall back in love with you. Please don't fuck it up with explosions of anger or other disappointments.
We are perfect. We had a nasty issue, and worked it out like adults. We are honest. We are sexy. We live 1700 miles apart. I'm used to the ache now. Once a month is for periods and utility bills, not putting my face in your chest and inhaling like a drowning person breaking the water's surface. I want to do that every day. When you graduate and move here, will it be the same? Or will you look at me across the kitchen and wonder why I haven't left for the airport yet? Have we done so well adjusting to half a continent, that an apartment will feel like a bear trap? These are the things that keep me up at night. I miss you. I love you. I have married you a thousand times already. I just want to know that when we do it for real, you won't miss all the space that the distance between Denver and New York has allowed. I know I wont.
You tried to retain the same lawyer as me for our divorce. Her name and her firms name were plastered all over the papers you had been served with and you still didn't twig when you "googled" for a lawyer and picked her because she was close to the house. You still didn't twig until she saw your papers when you sat down with her and she had to tell you she was my lawyer. Thanks for confirming yet again why I'm leaving.
The reason I am fucking him is because he's nice to me. Something that you can't be bothered to do.
I don't feel guilty. I feel empowered.
You cheated on me a year ago - I cleaned all 3 bathrooms (including YOUR nasty toilet that you hadn't even bothered to flush AGAIN!!) with your toothbrush - now I feel bad that you have had a bad bad sinus infection since I did it - you think I am being so caring when I am trying to get you meds and doctors appointments - It's not so much care as guilt - but think you could have caught so much worse off that skanky homewrecking whore had I not found out when I did - so maybe no more guilt for me!!!
I started confessing here when my husband began his hamfisted attempts at opening up our marriage. I didn't really want to be with anyone else. Because he wanted it so much, I reluctantly agreed; he proceeded to break his own promises, disrespect our mutual friend, pressure me into a dozen things I hated, surround me with unpleasant surprises and emotional blackmail, and then act completely surprised when I told him I was thinking of divorcing his ass.
And yet we made it through. Counseling helped. That, and the fact that I could see all too well that he really had no intention of being such an asshat. He just had a lot of learning to do.
Do I sound like I'm still angry? I am. I'm angry that the man I married turned out to be a spoiled kid who can't even faintly imagine saying no to himself when he wants something, even knowing that it will hurt me. And I'm angry that I seem to need him in my life anyway.
I'm also still in love with him. He's not just the man who keeps trying to fuck our friends. He's also the man who drove me back and forth to my family's house a hundred times while my father was ill. He's the man who overheard me reminiscing about a song I liked and hunted down the rare album for me. He's the man who looks after me when I walk in my sleep. He puts up with my annoying brother. He takes my cats to the vet.
I didn't make my vows lightly, and neither did he. It's bittersweet. We love each other, and we deserve each other, and we're in this for good.