All I wanted was your time. Now I get it and I wish you would do something better with it. Get a job, seriously. You're 27 years old. Who cares if you been working and going to school for ever. Don't live off the system just cuz you can now. You're only setting us back in the long run. Were never going to be able to have kids if you keep this up. I can't stand how much of a bum you have become, it drives me insane. Stop partying. Act your age, I think you forgot you're an adult. Thats why its 2 pm on a Saturday and you're still sleeping even though we were supposed to leave at 9am to go 3 hours away. That was your idea, thanks for leavin me hangin again.
This morning, you left for work about 15 minutes earlier than me. I finished getting ready, and I went out to my truck. I saw that you had taken the time to scrape the ice off my windshield before you left. I confess that I gasped and put my hand over my mouth and felt inordinately lucky when I saw that small sweet thing you did to make my morning just a little bit easier.
I thought that was just one of those women who couldn't have an orgasm with oral. It was nice. I liked it..but in nearly 25 years of being sexually active...Nothing. Until last night. Holy Shit. That was amazing. Yes, It took a long time, but you were dedicated to pleasing me - and after 45 minutes or so of licking you got me there. Thank you.
You like to say, "Hey let's have sex tonight" or make some sort of little announcement that you're "in the mood." But when the time comes, you're "too tired", "Too full from dinner" or you "Feel gross and need a shower." Or blah, blah. THere's always an excuse.
I got pissed at you today when you did this to me FOR THE THIRD DAY IN A ROW! I confronted you. You said, 'So. What's the big deal. At the time I say that, I mean it. Just that later on, I change my mind."
Ok. How about this: I'm going to cook you a great big dinner in two hours. (When the time comes, I'm going to make ME a Lean Cuisine. I'm going to do this three days in a row.) And then I guess I can say, 'Well, at the time, I meant it.
Fucking asshole. Just so you know, you won't be able to find three of your favorite sweaters ever again. I boxed them up and the Viet Vets truck is coming tomorrow to pick it up. They sell the clothes to make money for their program. Nothing makes me feel better than to think some strung out man on meth who's just made $10 by giving some trucker a blowjob wll be wearing YOUR FAVORITE SWEATER!
WHY on earth would you say, "Hey, let's have sex later on" and then give me some excuse. And when I question you, after its been several days in a row of this nonsense, you act like I'm a horrible bitch. That I'm DEMANDING sex. Please, I've stopped making advances. This is ALL you.
Course I guess I just did you a favor - you can use this argument to buy you two more weeks of not having sex with me! You'll can use this to rationalize why you masturbate too much for two whole weeks. Maybe more if you play your cards right (as in pick a few more fights.) you could stretch that out to a few MONTHS. I mean, the "I ate too much" and the "I had a stressful day" and the "I'm tired" and the "I need a shower" and the excuses only last a day.
But you don't realize you don't NEED to make these excuses. I've backed off. I don't try anything anymore. But maybe there IS a part of you that realizes you're jerking off too much and YOUR WIFE KNOWS THIS!
Recently I was talking to some girlfriends. One posed the question: If you were financially independent, would you still be with your spouse? We all realized that NO, we wouldn't be. We were all staying for the same reasons -- good schools for our kids and being able to provide our children with opportunities and experiences they wouldn't have otherwise. (Not so much about designer clothes but money for music lessons or money so our kids could participate in team sports wearing safe equipment. We also worried about how divorce would affect them. But I know more women who'd stay for these reasons than I do otherwise. I found that interesting. I wonder how many of your readers would voluntarily stay if they inherited a large sum of money or won the lotto and were financially covered for the rest of their lives?
I know you are cheating on me. I know you've been cheating on me for years. I was relieved when you said you had to leave for six months just so I wouldn't have to look at your lying face every day. And thanks for asking me before making that decision, you jerk. You think you can just go off and leave me with the kids so you can go play with the boys? You immature jerk. I know what you do on the computer late at night. But the most disgusting thing is that you LIE all the time. You make it seem like I'm to blame for the problems in my marriage -- what a laugh. I've never cheated on you because quite frankly, you have put me off sex for good. You think you are such a god in bed and that you "get off" on satisfying a woman -- you haven't satisfied me for years. The few times I put up with you in bed I fake it just to get it over with. And the only way I can even bring myself to do that is to pretend your someone else. You disgust me. You should take a look in the mirror one day, Mr. Sex God: you've got a pot belly and a really small dick and I laugh to myself to see that bald spot on your head getting bigger by the day.
I loved you and would have done anything for you. Until I found out that you were cheating. Oh yes: I know all about it. Don't you think I don't. But your not man enough to confess it, are you? Everytime you say you love me, I want to smash your head in. You only love yourself.
I'm only staying with you until the kids are older. And you have no idea what I've been up to while you've been gone. Take a close look at the bank statements, honey. I've been moving money around. Once I have enough, you are history.
You are a pathetic, lying, cheating scumbag -- just the kind of man I'll warn our daughters about. I'm done trying to save our marriage, now that I know you threw it away years ago.
My love for you is sincere.
I have been praying and waiting on you for so long. The birth of our child was so wonderful, not my idea of how it was suppose to be. However, had I of known that being so carless would get us to where we are now I would have waited. I just can't get over your fucking lazy ass ways. Don't worry the idea of us getting together does cross my mind, but some how you manage to piss me off and remind me of why your not here. I even tell you what your problem is and you still haven't tried to fix it so screw you and this relationship. So now that you are gone someone else is temporarily filling your void. He doesn't have all his shit together either, but what he does embrace me as a woman and shows me the shit you and others have for so long been taking for granted. You know there is someone else I thought that would make you fight for us more, but you still do the same shit as before.. I know not to get too involved, but I can't promise you that if I let you come back I would let him go either.
What a wonderful morning , I wake up after a long night of you touching me and making me feel so sexy. That is how you really stole my heart to begin with. Oh yeah.. your music is wonderful, the fancy restaurants were so much fun and the letters you wrote were amazing, but your touch... wow. When we were dating , you told me you wanted to wait until we were married for sexual intercourse. I had sexual intercourse for years in my first marriage, what I missed was what you were giving me, the time and touch. But honey, dont you think you really should have told me you are incapable of having sexual intercourse - that your peter has pooped? You are 15 years older than I am but with the foreplay I expected the sex to be out of this world. Well, it has been for the past 8 years, out of this world and into the world of massagers. I know.... I should have noticed this little detail in all the fore play, the fact the there was no well..... hardness. It really pisses me off. I think I have become a virgin again. I know, it sounds like I want my cake and I want to eat it too. Is there anything so wrong with that. At first it concerned you but now I think you are just darn lazy. Lay in bed, grab the massager and we can all be asleep in 5 minutes. ( It is a GOOD massager!) I want what you give me but I want to feel you inside me. I never have. That feels wrong. I mean, if I am horny and the electricity goes out - I am screwed. Well, you know what I mean. You are a wonderful man most of the time but could you please get off your ass and see why you cant have an erection? You can still jack off! YAH! FOR YOU!!!! ugh...... I think I messed up. Next time , I am marrying for money. Love didnt work. Sex is a joke. I want a house on an island a jet of my own.
I miss you so badly when we aren't together. Yes, I know you need your space and I'm determined to give it to you. But I have needs too. I need to be part of a couple. All the time. Not just when it suits YOUR needs. What about MY needs? Don't they matter to you? I guess not. I feel so very alone when we aren't together. You could fix that. But you aren't. Should I give this relationship up and move on because of that?
I just want to say that after this summer? Well, you can't hurt me anymore. You betrayed me. You lied to me. You absolutely devasted me. I questioned my worth, my decisions, my intelligence, competence, appearance, everything. And you still maintain that it was MY fault YOU had an affair. I'm still with you. I've been trying to work on our marriage. I've seen the therapist but you haven't. And I recently realized that I can no longer let myself fully love you. Because I would leave myself open. And I can't say for sure you WON'T do this again. Hell, YOU say, 'I can't promise you this won't happen again." And then you basically say, "If you start acting the way you used to..."
What I feel for you most of the time? Isn't love but indifference. You seem to think I should just give you my trust. You seem to think you have it again. Nope. That's just the indifference. You seem to think I've become more confident in you and the relationship. HA! THe reason I'm ok with your travel and guy's nights (you know to where you aren't home 5 out of 7 days due to work or your happy hours) is because I really like our house. But I also know I can't afford this house or school district on what I make or even could make. So I'm ok with you being gone so much. At least then I don't have to share custody time, can pay the bills AND not have to deal with you all that much.
I think if you realized alot of what I do now is due to indifference and that you can't really hurt me anymore, you'd take that as a personal challenge. You'd TRY to hurt me. Just to see if you could. You've always felt a compulsion to test my limits. But trust me. So the next time we get into a fight and you say something about how you might leave, you will be very surprised to find my response is: "I think that's a great idea. I'll help you pack."