Monday, August 25, 2008

True Wife Confessions Episode 6

Confession #051

I hate your family. Really.
I hate most of your friends, too.

Confession #052

You know those work boots that you loved and made me move from house to house because they were in such good condition? I threw them out when you weren't looking. And come to think of it, you haven't looked for them for some time, so that proves that you didn't really need to keep them in the first place!

Confession #053

You know how I tell you to roll over when you snore? Sometimes when I am pissed off with you I tell you to roll over even when you are not snoring just so I can watch you mindlessly obey me.

Confession #054

Of course I'm sometimes hungry when we stop by your parents house, but I'll never be able to eat anything from that nasty kitchen.

Confession #055

When I talk about writing my blog and you wave me off with a dismissive sigh? Makes me want to put my foot in your ass.

Confession #056

I will divorce you for leaving wet towels on my quilts. I'm not kidding. I will also cite leaving the toilet paper roll empty, coffee grounds in the filter, and your shoes in every damn place you can.

Confession #057

Getting angry when I cry is NOT the way to comfort me. I'm SAD, I'm UPSET. Being pissed off at me doesn't ease those feelings. Just let me cry and get it over with. I can be reasonable after that! Just look sympathetic and say nothing.

Confession #058

You didn't get a present for Father's Day because you didn't give me a present for Mother's Day. You aren't getting a birthday present either because when mine rolled around you didn't do squat for me.

Confession #059

I want to hire people to mow our lawn because you do such a half-assed job, but I don't want to deprive you of the pleasure of doing your only household chore.

Confession #060

I know that the great "Adding Bleach to my Work Clothes" fiasco of 1995 was your way of insuring I would never allow you to do my laundry again. Mission Accomplished, Chief.


Anonymous said...

These confessions....are boring.

Anonymous said...

thats because they are old. Why all the old confessions these days?

Dawn said...

Why are they formerly published confessions?

1. Because everyone deserves a little "Off Time" - even Blog Mavens

2. Because I have * maybe* enough confessions for 2 more chapters in waiting (so 20 new confessions). No confessions means no new chapters.

Maybe everyone is enjoying the summer?

3. Because I, like some others, like remembering the start of TWC - when the confessions were a bit more light hearted. That isn't to discount the heavier confessions - but Relationships aren't ALL about love or Hate - There's lots of in-between stuff too. Funny stuff. Quiet stuff. Stuff that you'd just rather not fight about...but still notice.

Anonymous said...

I just started blogging here in January and I am enjoying the older posts. I remeber seeing you a few years back on Good Morning America, but didn't have a computer then to go to the site but I remember thinking what a great concept. I started having trouble with my hubby, and started to share. It is nice to see the "quieter" side to true wife confessions. I hope it doesn't go away. I love the part where you can say something and noone has something to say back. Thank you Dawn.
Love Me

GW said...

I did not find the confessions boring. Neither did I find them old, for today is the first time I've read anything on this blog so it's all shiny new to me. I laughed at some and felt the sting of others. Great blog, I say!