You were snoring last night and woke up me up, so I asked you nicely to roll over. You got up and left the room. We have three other empty beds in this house. Your decision to sleep on the uncomfortable couch makes you a dumb ass, not a martyr.
I am so happy I left you. I found the man of my dreams, my soul mate! He is the complete opposite of you, and when the girls realize you only see them when it is convenient for you, he will be there as their dad and as the positive influence on their lives. You never will change, and I feel bad for your 2 girlfriends.
Dear husband and your mother,
Why do you both start projects and not complete them and leave all the stuff all over the place? Ordinarily this is fine, but today when I am doing major cleaning, not so much fun. Just bring the stuff to the basement for next time.
Hey asshole! I’m very happy for you and your girlfriend. I’m so happy that she thinks you’re perfect, and the best thing that’s ever happened to her. The reason why I’m happy? I secretly pushed your needy, emotionally-abusive, man-boy ass onto that stupid woman! When I saw how great you two got along, and how attracted you were to each other, I saw my chance to get rid of you forever!
However, I recognize in all the Facebook posts about your new, wonderful life the phony happiness that we used to project. And if you were so happy, then why are you still trying to fuck me? Oh, yeah, I know why. Because you know that I have a string of men that I see, a couple of whom I’m fucking. And, they are much better in bed than you ever were! I will never be with you, either sexually or in a relationship, for as long as I live!
I think you're starting to get the picture. When you do dishes, empty trash, or clean up without me having to bitch, nag, or ask my heart soars and I remember all over again why I fell in love with you and keep fighting through the stupid little things and the important big ones. It's just nice to know that someone is WILLING to share the load - it's why I make a point to thank you when I see you doing something that helps out.
We don't have kids yet, and I really want them (I never did, until recently), but I can't imagine having them with a man that can't even help out around the house. You're giving me hope that one day we will be able to have them. I'd love nothing more than to have children with you and to grow old together. I love you. Thank you for showing that you appreciate me too!
By the way, my mom is right. You do "deal with me so well" as she puts it.
Been married to you for almost six years and I can honestly say that I do love you. But at times I swear it feels like Role Reversal. I thought that me being the woman, I was suppose to be clinging and demanding of ALL of your attention ALL the time, but this is so not the case. I don't know how else to say this but the truth is I'm a loner. I believe I get it from my father. That doesn't mean I don't want you around, it just means you've got to cut the shit when it comes to getting my attention. For FUCK-sake you're not a child. It's gotten so bad that I've actually named your dysfunctional behavior as "BABY HUEY SYNDROME" I mean WTF? You don't know how bad I want to cut off your fuckin air supply when you insist on setting yourself at odds with whatever has my attention at that time. I remember I even had to rent a goddamn HOTEL room so I could finish the last three chapters of a
book I was reading. UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE. I told you I was through with threatening divorce and tellin you to pack your shit, to leave and that I was going to "stick it out" But I swear to God if things continue this way,
I will still keep my promise about not putting you out, but you better damn sure believe I will be the one leaving. You have no idea how infuriating it is to not be able to come home from work and just CHILL. From the time I set
foot through the front door you are flapping your fucking gums so much that I can't even hear the damn news. And just in case you are wondering?...You are NOT smarter than me. I can tell you what the hell you're going to do
before you even know yourself, and I've been laying real low when it comes to mental (spy vs. spy) type battle of witts, you are out of your league. I lay low cause I love you and I know you have NO problem dishing it out, but
will do everything short of goin into labor if the tables were turned and you had to take it, so don't play with me. When it comes to sex...Look...I love sex just as much as the next woman, but I'm sure that no respecting
woman wants to wake up to her hair being yanked and her ass smacked at 3:00 am when she has to get up for work within the next 2 hours. That is really inconsiderate. There's something wrong with you. DO NOT make sex feel like a chore or it will be the DEATH of our sex life. This is MY body and just because you throw a damned temper tantrum when you don't get it does not make me want you anymore, but less. Sometimes, I don't even think you care whether I'm into it or not. It's just a battle of wills. I don't feel like it so you're trying to make me. That's not how it's suppose to go. It's not even enjoyable like that. Sometimes the loves scenes I read about in my books are the only thing that gets me through on the nights that I'd rather you not even touch me. Perhaps you should slow down on the pornos. That is t.v. I am a real woman. Don't you DARE spit in my crotch! That's just fucking disgusting. I hate when you treat my body like a playground. It's as if you get in the "Zone" and forget I'm there too. Nevermind the fact that I'm beginning to lose feeling in my toes cause you have the back of my knees up by my ears! And then have the nerve to hold back and take WAY TOO freakin long to bust a nut. You tell me all the time "I'm not doin it on purpose" BULLSHIT! Look the next time you pull that shit, I'm falling asleep on your ass, so you better get yours. AND BTW stop wearing my fucking socks! You stretch them out so bad that by the time I get around to it, the heels of my socks are hanging off the back of my fucking ankles. Don't use t-shirts to wipe up red kool-aid or anything else for that matter. The next time you behave like a inconsidered Jack of All Asses and eat up my personal snacks w/o asking or even replacing them...You will need a plunger to fish both of your PS3 Controls out the fucking toilet. Leave my shit alone...
I am in complete love with you. When I think of the things that I have done to almost mess it up, I feel nausea. I fall deeper and deeper in love with you everyday. Thank you for giving me such a wonderful life. I love our new house and all my pretty things. I most of all love that you love me completely with all your heart.
Every year when the Social Security Administration sends their annual report, all I can think of is how nice it would be if you were dead. I wouldn't have to put up with your shit and I'd get $1200 a month, which is more than you've been bringing home for the past few years.
I knew it was her the whole time! The moment you spoke her name I knew it was bad news! Your affair is now jeopardizing your career in the military because I was forced to call base security when I had someone knock on my door telling me you weren't at home in bed like I thought, you were 2 streets down banging this chick... and security contacted your command....... I know you're scared but I'm not, this was the best decision ever, maybe THIS will get you to wake up and realize you've got an amazing life with the kids and me! The funny thing is that after all this and nearly 6 years of marriage, I'm still totally in love with your ass! Maybe I am a stupid bitch!
I've always hated infidelity; my dad cheated on my mum and left me as a child. But now, I find myself straying. I love my boyfriend of four years and couldn't imagine being apart from him, but I have now found myself in the position of cheater. I've fucked another man twice, and love the excitement, illicitness and newness of it. He is married and loves his wife. We both know it is nothing but fun and we put a smile on one another's face. The guilt nearly consumes me and I drift between extreme horniness for my married man and devastation that I could potentially hurt my own loved one so very much. I hate that I have become like my father, and perhaps worse still, like his mistress (and now wife) but at the same time, I now feel so much more alive.