tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post93225643396001003..comments2023-08-25T09:21:25.015-04:00Comments on True Wife Confessions: True Wife Confessions 224 happy holiday memoriesDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12920042208198309201noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-65801104259539752322008-01-06T01:20:00.000-05:002008-01-06T01:20:00.000-05:002240: I am glad you found happiness in being alon...2240: I am glad you found happiness in being alone rather than being in a bad relationship. Many women are not able to do that. I wish you and your son the best. You are obviously a phenomenal woman.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-75755458810762310812007-12-18T11:56:00.000-05:002007-12-18T11:56:00.000-05:00Thanks, 3:59. I agree: troll, indeed.Thanks, 3:59. I agree: troll, indeed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-65093795888401942222007-12-17T21:58:00.000-05:002007-12-17T21:58:00.000-05:002235,Thanks for the background information Rememb...2235,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the background information Remember we are just here to offer our support and views. With a diverse range of posters there are bound to be differences of opinion. At the end of the day you are in the best position to decide what applies in your situation and you are the one who is going to have to take the next steps.<BR/><BR/>Though personally I would not call what he did hiding, the fact is that he said no more magazines and yet he buys them without your consent when he knows how you feel about them. <BR/><BR/>Right now I suspect that you have no trust in him and to be honest I feel that its going to be difficult for both of you to progress as a couple without that trust. I know there are children involved in your situation but please do not stay together just for their sakes. They deserve a happy mom to give a positive role model rather then one who is unhappy all the time.<BR/><BR/>Aside from that I agree with everything 8:29 said. I think counselling is the way forward for both of you. You have issues, he has issues (though he may not know it).<BR/><BR/>If he refuses and you still want to work on the marriage can I suggest something that is going to be difficult but can you speak to his friends family. You don't have to tell them what the issue is but urge them to put pressure on him to get help to save your relationship.<BR/><BR/>Good luck.onemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04684541937313318511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-5709130613322490172007-12-17T20:29:00.000-05:002007-12-17T20:29:00.000-05:002235, please don't let one disruptive, condescendi...2235, please don't let one disruptive, condescending and clueless poster make you feel bad. You have a right to your feelings. Your hubby lied, and that is not cool. Do you still want to stay in this marriage? Because if you do, I'm sorry, but you have to confront him. The silent treatment won't work forever. And ultimatums only work if you are truly committed to them.<BR/>Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.<BR/>How do you feel about counseling?<BR/>My sympathies, hon -- this situation sucks. Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-63074964922635765042007-12-17T15:59:00.000-05:002007-12-17T15:59:00.000-05:00Who the hell do you think you are d? I think it i...Who the hell do you think you are d? I think it is pretty clear you are a troll. Reminder ladies: PLEASE DON'T FEED THE TROLLS! You ARE pretty nervy. Basically I am going to reiterate what anonymous said on the other post. "For me and all the other women you have insulted, FUCK OFF!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-35556140989132703482007-12-17T15:04:00.000-05:002007-12-17T15:04:00.000-05:00your story is straight swiss cheese.1) when you fi...your story is straight swiss cheese.<BR/><BR/>1) when you first found them they weren't hidden. they were in his jeans drawer where he knows you put laundry.<BR/><BR/>2) you yell at him like a nut basket after you found them....then you wonder why he feels like he has to hide them.<BR/><BR/>3) he told you not to go through his stuff. you did and found the mags. suddenly now it's innocent unpacking. please.<BR/><BR/>4) if you actually have no problem with them, you created all that turmoil over what? because he had the nerve to buy them without clearing it with you first then "hiding" them somewhere he knew you would find them?<BR/><BR/>yeah...you seem like somebody easy for your husband to talk to. i can imagine what his side of the story would be.<BR/><BR/>anyway, i'm glad you got something from the other commenters.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-6197370050470162192007-12-17T10:41:00.000-05:002007-12-17T10:41:00.000-05:00Oh, and OneMan, Thank you too.Oh, and OneMan, Thank you too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-90372586628592814342007-12-17T10:39:00.000-05:002007-12-17T10:39:00.000-05:00Ya'll blow me away with your comments. So you want...Ya'll blow me away with your comments. So you wanted the details of the relationship:<BR/><BR/>I did not know about the porn before we got married. I DID NOT KNOW. I offered to watch it with him a few times before I found the mags, thinking maybe it would spice up our sex life which, at 23(both), should have not gone down hill as quickly as it did. (from once a day to twice a month)<BR/><BR/>The first time I found them, they were hidden in his jeans drawer, and I was putting his pants away after doing a load of laundry for him. I was pregnant and hormonal and I went off on him like you wouldn't believe. He said he was sorry and he made the grand gesture. It didn't last, as I found them again while unpacking boxes from our recent move. I don't think it was snooping to unpack boxes. <BR/><BR/>I wouldn't have minded the mags if he hadn't felt like he had to hide them. It could have been much different, something that we could have enjoyed together, but it wasn't like that. <BR/><BR/>D, I don't have unrealistic expectations. I have not ever thought I was going to live a fairy tale. But I just don't like lies and the complete lack of regard for my feelings. And I'm entitled to ask that my husband not lie to me. or hide things from me.<BR/><BR/> Oh, and for the record, it's not like I'm fat and ugly, I lost the baby weight a month after having my second daughter and I get compliments all the time, so please don't try that angle.<BR/><BR/>Again, Thank you to the rest of the commenter's, you'll never know how much better I feel knowing that other women feel as I do.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-46575664916629672622007-12-16T12:51:00.000-05:002007-12-16T12:51:00.000-05:001:52You are 100% correct that we don't know the fu...1:52<BR/><BR/>You are 100% correct that we don't know the full background and unless 2235 fill us in on the questions then we don't know.<BR/><BR/>I can understand where you are coming from asking what the situation was like before marriage. However I would say that people change over time, you change, your partner changes, the dynamics of the relationship changes which is why communication is key. Quite possibly she was OK with it before, maybe the volume of porn has got worse. Maybe the sex has become less frequent because of the porn. There has been a major change in their partnership with the birth of their child which could have caused a change. For me what matters is the here and now, not the past. <BR/><BR/>You ask can there be a middle ground, with such a deal breaker issue I don't think she can give any ground here. He either gets help and stops or that is the end of their relationship.onemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04684541937313318511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-12941097743307252342007-12-16T01:52:00.000-05:002007-12-16T01:52:00.000-05:00I wonder if 2235 knew about her husbands porn view...I wonder if 2235 knew about her husbands porn viewing before they got married. If so, I think it is pretty selfish of her to want him to suddenly change after they got married. If the porn viewing was such an issue, then why marry him in the first place and try to change him?<BR/><BR/>If he started watching porn during the marriage, then I could completely see the problem from her perspective. I can see how she would feel as though she is not enough to satisfy him anymore. I would feel pretty bad too if my girl and I had an awesome sex life but then out of nowhere, she spent most of her sexual energy on porn and masturbating.<BR/><BR/>We don't know what their relationship is like though. It would be hard to judge him or her (which this site isn't about anyway) without knowing more of her history<BR/><BR/>I do agree with d and the posters that disagreed with him. Too bad someone didn't post a happy mediumAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-76595771562767248722007-12-15T22:37:00.000-05:002007-12-15T22:37:00.000-05:00oneman, appreciate your words. at least you rememb...oneman, appreciate your words. at least you remembered to talk to the confessor. it's about them..not me. i'm a brutal honesty, blunt kind of dude. i understand things go down better with a little honey...it just seems i'm always fresh out of honey.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-23549429404360870502007-12-15T19:01:00.000-05:002007-12-15T19:01:00.000-05:002235.Can I offer some advise. Communication and tr...2235.<BR/><BR/>Can I offer some advise. Communication and trust are the key to a good relationship. At the moment I suspect you have neither in your relationship.<BR/><BR/>What ever problems that you are having, if its porn or him not helping round the house or sex or whatever, if you don't trust each other and talk about the problem then its not going to get fixed.<BR/><BR/>You have a problem with him having porn and you are 100% entitled to have that opinion. You feel strongly enough about this issue for it to be a deal breaker and again you are 100% entitled to that.<BR/><BR/>All I can suggest is that it looks that you have reached the stage were he or both of you as a couple need the help of expert counselling so him/both of you can either find the root cause for him to want the porn against your wishes and fix the problem or for you to split.onemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04684541937313318511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-63296036469432147552007-12-15T14:33:00.000-05:002007-12-15T14:33:00.000-05:00Sorry about his post Dawn, just need to say my pie...Sorry about his post Dawn, just need to say my piece.<BR/><BR/>D,<BR/><BR/>I have stood by and keep my kept my fingers off the keyboard until your replies to 2235. I completely understand that you are entitled to your opinions and I am fine with that. I don't know you personally, however what you post just reinforces womens views of some men that have no grasp of relationship dynamics. <BR/><BR/>You come across as ass. You replies are not advise, they are judgements. I am going to guess that most of the woman on this site are looking for advise and support, nobody wants to be judged.<BR/><BR/>While I support some of what you say, the way you say it just makes my blood boil sometimes and I hope your misplaced advise has not advesily effected anybody.onemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04684541937313318511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-75541168383848620312007-12-15T07:56:00.000-05:002007-12-15T07:56:00.000-05:0010:35 Bravo!10:35 Bravo!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-68259953162158291822007-12-14T23:33:00.000-05:002007-12-14T23:33:00.000-05:00That's great d, but your opinions come across more...That's great d, but your opinions come across more like judgements. That's the problem. Your advice is bullshit. Plain and simple.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-31448946523099337352007-12-14T23:30:00.000-05:002007-12-14T23:30:00.000-05:00anonymous, i appreciate your passion and your opin...anonymous, i appreciate your passion and your opinions. i don't post for approval or popularity. my opinion is just that. mine.<BR/><BR/>i think u have a lot to offer the confessors when you focus on them. anyway, Happy Holidays. (capitalized just for you.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-26624160173661708802007-12-14T22:35:00.000-05:002007-12-14T22:35:00.000-05:00I knew this would be your last pathetic attempt to...I knew this would be your last pathetic attempt to prove your porn theory right: "in their minds"! Of course people have fantasies in their minds...duh. And it hurts no one. I don't mean to gloat, but I will. No, I think I won't. Instead I will ask you to consider not posting here, or at the very least stop being so god damn judgmental and instead wording your comments as opinions and not as if you've got the right answer to every problem and insulting these women that come here for solace and commiseration.<BR/><BR/>You really think Dawn finds the comments to you warrants her interference? Oh how you underestimate and misunderstand the broad. You've got a lot to learn, d. She isn't here to protect your ass or mine, she's looking out for blatantly un-called for, mean, hurtful insults. She doesn't care about censoring opinions. That’s what TWC is about. Help. Understanding. Advice. Opinions. <BR/><BR/>I don't like you. That's plain. I think you do damage here and I'm not going to let it slide,and if Dawn feels it's outside the boundries I accept her decision. I think she has done a wonderful service to women and I'm not about to argue her choices. But I'm going to stand up for those I feel you're hurting by your ignorance or your bigotry. <BR/><BR/>I really , really, still believe you need to find another venue to post on. Why on earth do you still think you have anything valuable to add here on TWC is so beyond me. <BR/><BR/>You told me your age when I asked. Ladies, I guessed late 20's, he is early 30's. Same. Just FYI. You have got a whole lot to learn about women and relationships, d. My question is.... all this time you spend on TWC... have you learned nothing? Are you all about arguing your point here, or are you learning something? Your time is better spent being a voyer here and learning what women really feel, want , need, then chiming in with ineffective, antiquated,ill-informed ideas about what you think wives and husbands want when you have neither been a husband or had a wife. <BR/>Oh, and add baby to the mix? Oh hang on, Son-- it's gonna be a very different set of rules altogether.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-23522713189657441592007-12-14T20:29:00.000-05:002007-12-14T20:29:00.000-05:00with or without porn, men will still get off to ot...with or without porn, men will still get off to other women...in their minds, while they masturbate and sometimes even while they have sex with their wives and girlfriends. until the nature of man changes from voyeuristic variety-lover this is really a non-debate.<BR/><BR/>but i'll stop here. all points have been made so i won't continue going in circles. thanks to those who kept the convo civil. i hope dawn doesn't decide to moderate comments again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-69295420209224968622007-12-14T20:07:00.000-05:002007-12-14T20:07:00.000-05:00D: Try as you may, you cannot draw comparison to ...D: Try as you may, you cannot draw comparison to "fairy tales, chick flicks and Peta". She is his wife. He's getting off on other women. It's hurting her and her marriage. But in your opinion, this is none of her business? You have got to be one delusional SOB. He's making a very blatant choice here, and if I were her I would feel absolutely devastated. Is that how she should feel in her marriage and just deal with those feelings herself and shut up about it cause feeling devastated by your own husband is really not that big of a deal? Does porn trump that? I'm so glad that, finally, all the other TW are starting to see you for who you are. Your a misogynist, and if you really believe you're own bullshit, show these comments to your wife-to-be (if one ever sticks around that long) and hear what she thinks about it. To be very clear here on two points: It's very different if both parties enjoy it, and it doesn't count if your not married. My husband and I enjoyed a lot of different things sexually before we got married and both of us agreed after the rings went on we would only rely on each other for our sexual satisfaction. It's called commitment, it's called honor, it's called respect. And for fucks sake, again, look up capitalization, moron.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-48964247113030173862007-12-14T19:11:00.000-05:002007-12-14T19:11:00.000-05:002240, you have got to be one of the strongest, mos...2240, you have got to be one of the strongest, most admirable women in the world. Good luck to you and your son. I wish you a lifetime of joy and happiness!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-14492436444484105562007-12-14T19:10:00.000-05:002007-12-14T19:10:00.000-05:006:06 Agree, but the lying is a warning flag that ...6:06 Agree, but the lying is a warning flag that the practice is more than innocent. The problem is he knows his wife has a problem with the Porn and either he doesn't give a shit what his wife thinks or he has a problem with porn that he trys to resolve by deceit. How does a husband explain to his wife why he gets his jollies by looking at porn? How does that make her feel? We all know there's more that goes on other than viewing. There's the masturbation to the porn. So he's telling his wife in a non-verbal manner that he would rather use his own hand rather than gaining sexual satisfaction from her. I would like to know what their sex life is like. Does he fuck his wife the same number of times he masturbates to the Porn? I'll wager any amount of money that the answer is no. Viewing erotic material can be plus for a husband and wife's intimate relationship if they are both accepting of it, but when it's just one, there resides the problem. When the porn starts to insert itself as a mistress in the relationship, only bad things will happen. A husband viewing porn as a "recreational" acitivity cannot be viewed as just a guy thing. When the ring goes on the finger, there's a commitment made porn, in the majority of cases, won't fit.A Passionate Guyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03829365530669133137noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-75629162233650402912007-12-14T18:50:00.000-05:002007-12-14T18:50:00.000-05:006:06, basically yes, but people can even have a de...6:06, basically yes, but people can even have a debate on whether watching porn is innocent. the question is when does one partner's feelings trump the other's? for instance, let's say the confessor is a PETA activist and thinks wearing leather is the evil murder and exploitation of animals and that eating meat is akin to genocide. say she demands her husband stop eating meat and wearing leather. no matter how strong her feelings were, they have nothing to do with his feelings of loving steak and buter soft jackets. would people really expect him to abandon the way he wants to live his life because she said so? some requests are reasonable and others are not. and no matter what her reasons for not liking porn are, he doesn't have to agree with or live by them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-29432162771213416052007-12-14T18:06:00.000-05:002007-12-14T18:06:00.000-05:00D,While I think that some women do believe in a Pr...D,<BR/><BR/>While I think that some women do believe in a Prince Charming and that whole fairy tale, I think more women out realize the truth or outgrew after the age of 11. <BR/><BR/>It's really hard to explain to a man why women do the things they so and act the way they act as a whole. I'm sure it's hard for a man to explain to us women the importance of porn or a bachelor party or general male debachary. <BR/><BR/>I think I get what you're saying. Correct if I'm wrong - him lying is a definite problem, whether it was well meaning or just to get her off his back, either way he sucks for lying. But all you are trying to say is that a guy simply looking at porn doesn't mean that he hates his wife, finds her replusive and should kill himself, right?<BR/><BR/>I think what's tough nowadays, is that SO many relationships and marriages have broken up do to indescretions. Whether it's porn, MySpace, having emotional affairs, or full-on affairs, so many people are quick to jump up, arms flailing about, and yell 'Bastard' when someone like yourself comes here and defends the innocent action of watching porn.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-73657452599188611472007-12-14T15:25:00.000-05:002007-12-14T15:25:00.000-05:00d! Get a life dude! I agree with 2:34, that IS t...d! Get a life dude! I agree with 2:34, that IS the funniest shit I've ever heard.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-60437613657987096032007-12-14T15:02:00.000-05:002007-12-14T15:02:00.000-05:002:55, you might be right. or he just did that to s...2:55, you might be right. or he just did that to shut her up and was never serious about getting rid of it (the more likely option). either way, his lying is unacceptable. but his porn viewing is still none of her business. she doesn't have to ever see it if she doesn't want to.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03176371101993483485noreply@blogger.com