tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post2894959201073227550..comments2023-08-25T09:21:25.015-04:00Comments on True Wife Confessions: True Wife Confessions 262 pyrrhic victoriesDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12920042208198309201noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-65717030616464421092010-03-15T17:31:55.448-04:002010-03-15T17:31:55.448-04:00Hmm, I was searching for something not really rela...Hmm, I was searching for something not really related (...not intended), and I got a hit for the story about the woman who agonizes over her distant relation to her husband. I am sure that marriage between 5th cousins or lower is fairly common, particularly in smaller communities. I work in biostats, and the amount of genetic material that you would share from a single 5th cousin link is so small, you really shouldn't worry about it. If I found out the same thing, I wouldn't even blink my eyes to it! Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-35824410677275034692009-08-18T06:20:16.630-04:002009-08-18T06:20:16.630-04:002619-Cousin marriage grosses me out too, but in my...2619-Cousin marriage grosses me out too, but in my extended family it's pretty popular. My cousin married her mom's cousins son, and her daughter is actually a genius. Like she is in kindergarten and reading chapter books. So no defects there. Another positive thing is that she has a great relationship with her MIL, because she is her mother's cousin. It sounds complicated and gross..but it really isn't and the rate of defects for *first* cousins is the same as for age 35+ women (and no one is telling them to stop reproducing). So as a FIFTH cousin, you have nothing to worry aboutAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-27615769123457707462008-07-25T16:21:00.000-04:002008-07-25T16:21:00.000-04:00#2617My heart felt every word you wrote. It was h...#2617<BR/><BR/>My heart felt every word you wrote. It was how I felt the last few years of my marriage. If this man is who you want to be with, then you go and fight for him and what you need for him. Only you know his worth to you. If he is not worth it, then honey, liberate yourself! Life is too sweet to be bitter.ms. blisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05536014741841111108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-36171114393683218932008-07-21T22:24:00.000-04:002008-07-21T22:24:00.000-04:002619 - Want to hear something funny? My maternal g...2619 - Want to hear something funny? My maternal grandparents were FIRST cousins. They came to America separately from England, my grandfather when he was 7 and my grandmother when she was about 19. They had never met. Well, they did meet, and they fell in love and got married. My grandmother also kept this like a horrible secret, my mom didn't even know her parents were cousins until she was 30! <BR/><BR/>Anyway, point is, we're all fine, my mother and her brother are fine, my brother and I are fine, it's all good. Now that my grandmother is gone (she was born in 1902!) it's a family joke. But really, 5th cousins? You don't have anything to worry about. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-35195446994185903322008-07-18T18:01:00.000-04:002008-07-18T18:01:00.000-04:00I'm 2613, I posted the "confession" because I like...I'm 2613, I posted the "confession" because I like this site and I know that Dawn needs contributions to keep it going. I also know it's kinda unique, so I posted it. To answer some questions: My husband and I are great, she is divorcing her husband (I like him, they just don't fit and never have). Of COURSE he got pleasure from it, he's having sex, isn't he? I consider him to be cheating if he goes out and as sex with someone, same definition as you. Like I said, it was my idea, he did it for my cousin, both enjoyed it, no big deal. I know these people and their hearts and heads better than anyone and vice versa. And no, you cannot fuck my husband even though I'm sure you are a very nice person!! <BR/><BR/>11:34 gets it: this is just not a big deal, it's just sex, not lovemaking.<BR/><BR/>Cheers!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-18629925928077844162008-07-18T08:03:00.000-04:002008-07-18T08:03:00.000-04:002611: You need to talk this over with him, and be ...2611: You need to talk this over with him, and be more vocal about wanting sex when you want it. Close the laptop and jump on top of him, tell him no movie just yet.<BR/><BR/>Or, negotiate and see if he wants a post-show show. You have to talk about this stuff if you want it to get resolved. Maybe spending time watching a movie with you is what gets him in the mood, because he likes to be around you. But I don't know, because I am not him.<BR/><BR/>Talk about this. See if he'll schedule it in. If he doesn't want to schedule it, then make it a point to let him know when you're in the mood.<BR/><BR/>If your moods really differ that much, get a vibrator and satisfy yourself when he isn't in the mood, but insist on a good compromise, like 1-3 times a week, whatever he can muster up.<BR/><BR/>Relationships are work, and relations in a long-term relationship take compromise and patience. <BR/><BR/>Best of luck!omnia_vincit_amorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17027778928923110846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-12381471020724037082008-07-17T16:53:00.000-04:002008-07-17T16:53:00.000-04:002611, I feel your pain. My husband seems disinter...2611, I feel your pain. My husband seems disinterested in s.e.x., as well. What gives? I'm a runner and am definitely in good shape - although I have had tow kids - but I just never thought I would encounter a *man* who didn't want sex. Make me question his sexuality, frankly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-77933356967305153422008-07-17T11:34:00.000-04:002008-07-17T11:34:00.000-04:002613,for some people, whoopee can never be casual....2613,<BR/>for some people, whoopee can never be casual. 9:22am is one of those. I, for one, am in agreement with you. Its only a big deal when whoopee is a big deal. I would have no problem with my wife playing the same role.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-91782198159895719312008-07-17T09:22:00.000-04:002008-07-17T09:22:00.000-04:002613 - Really? You're so ok with this that you fe...2613 - Really? You're so ok with this that you feel the need to confess? Oh, it's not a confession you say, just a private assurance that when all parties involved are ok with something that makes it ok and you can't confide in others because they obviously wouldn't understand. OK. I'm glad you would never stand for your husband cheating on you. Did you give him permission to take pleasure in this fuck too or was it purely putting his tool to good use? What exactly is your definition of cheating? It's not ok to look at the answers on my test paper without my knowledge, but if I agree to it in advance that makes it ok? Who is being cheated in that scenario? I think you are sensing that you know the answer, and that is really your confession... you have this nagging feeling that you have been used--taken advantage of by these two and you have let them get away with it scott-free because it was your idea originally. I'm sweet too, and have a good sob story about my lack of sex life. After you get to know me, can I fuck your husband too? Keep telling yourself that you have 'never looked back on' your decision. Only that kind of resolve can continue to shield you from the more painful truth.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-30328771500497641662008-07-16T13:47:00.000-04:002008-07-16T13:47:00.000-04:00#2613 OMG are you really serious? No cousin of min...#2613 OMG are you really serious? No cousin of mine could ever be so sweet to do that favour.Something tells me there is more to this situation.Maybe a little guilty give and take on your behalf..?How is your relationship with your husband?To that matter of fact her husband?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-27178819235455523762008-07-15T23:31:00.000-04:002008-07-15T23:31:00.000-04:002612 & 2613,It is great that you have understand w...2612 & 2613,<BR/>It is great that you have understand what works for you and your loved ones. Others should mind their own business.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-91104959453679189032008-07-15T22:44:00.000-04:002008-07-15T22:44:00.000-04:002619--My aunt and uncle are second cousins, and we...2619--My aunt and uncle are second cousins, and were actually raised in the same area and as relatives. It has always seemed strange to me, particularly as the relation was always known, but their son is in great health, and they seem happy, so to each his own, I suppose.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-34723095430935979472008-07-14T22:34:00.000-04:002008-07-14T22:34:00.000-04:002620: I want to thank YOU for serving our country...2620: I want to thank YOU for serving our country. My eyes are welling with tears as I write this. I know what your feeling-- but I handled it like a coward and YOU are standing, functioning,braving it all inside rather than complaining. YOU are a hero just as sure as your brave husband. Take care of Monkey and yourself and be very proud of doing the horrible task alone. And know that it is temporary; he will come home to you both.<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure, but I think it was Milton who said "They also serve, those who stand and wait".<BR/><BR/>My thanks to you for your sacrifice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-13587126886544157812008-07-14T22:24:00.000-04:002008-07-14T22:24:00.000-04:00I didn't want to comment first when I checked the ...I didn't want to comment first when I checked the site this morning because I have no back ground in anthropology, but I wanted to tell 2619 that pretty much, if you go back far enough, we're all related, aren't we? Thanks, Des, for making her feel better. And for the edification, very interesting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-40846776505194216172008-07-14T21:45:00.000-04:002008-07-14T21:45:00.000-04:002619 -A bunch of this issue is a Very Western worl...2619 -<BR/><BR/>A bunch of this issue is a Very Western world taboo - In many other cultures, cousins marry as a general rule. <BR/><BR/>It is only when you see generations of inbreeding, which then self select certain traits due to the limitations of the gene pool (think the Russian Romanov hemophilia trait) that this becomes a true problem.<BR/><BR/>In fact, the genetic studies done world wide are showing that modern humans have one common female ancestor...lovingly called Eve, who came from the African continent.<BR/><BR/>We are a robust species and I doubt that unless you and your husband both happen to be carriers of a specific familiar genetic trait, it is unlikely that your distant relation had anything to do with your first daughter's disabilities.<BR/><BR/>My husband and I share no common immediate ancestor ( to our knowledge) - he from Creole African Americans and I from German, Scot and Irish Farmers with a Native American Great Grandmother...and our daughter has some diagnosed disabilities.<BR/><BR/>This is nothing to beat yourself up about.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12920042208198309201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-18401617156876685312008-07-14T21:31:00.000-04:002008-07-14T21:31:00.000-04:00#2619 When my husband and I went to get out marria...#2619 When my husband and I went to get out marriage certificate we were asked if we were related. We both kind of blanched and looked at her like huh? She said that it is legal for FIRST cousins to marry in our state, which is bad. I don't even know who my THIRD cousins are, but if I ended up married to one, I don't think it would bother me. It is not like you were raised as cousins, you know? I would not worry at all about being fifth cousins, it is not a big deal. Everyone, somehow, is related. You know?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-9585637769563032902008-07-14T17:01:00.000-04:002008-07-14T17:01:00.000-04:00Glad you found my comment reassuring. Just to rei...Glad you found my comment reassuring. Just to reinforce the idea, if you're 5th cousins, then your common ancestor probably lived more than 200 years ago.Desmond Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07829959101276150279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-3155415308182875132008-07-14T13:57:00.000-04:002008-07-14T13:57:00.000-04:00I agree with Desmond. This world was founded by re...I agree with Desmond. This world was founded by related people all day long.5th is out there. And you didn't know. Your children will be who they are, not becasue of what you have done, but what you have to offer them in the future. Take care.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-55255091757542209212008-07-14T12:57:00.000-04:002008-07-14T12:57:00.000-04:00desmond - I've been checking this blog all day to ...desmond - I've been checking this blog all day to see if anyone had anything to say about my worries - thanks for your reassurance.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-79863131109573972872008-07-14T11:55:00.000-04:002008-07-14T11:55:00.000-04:002619 - In most states, it's legal for 3rd cousins ...2619 - In most states, it's legal for 3rd cousins to marry.<BR/><BR/>5th cousins means that 1/128th of your DNA came from a common source; you probably have more than a thousand 5th cousins, and you don't know who any of them are, except your husband. It's NO BIG DEAL, and certainly nothing to feel ashamed of.Desmond Joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07829959101276150279noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-32913601022256852782008-07-14T09:58:00.000-04:002008-07-14T09:58:00.000-04:002620 Thank you. I am sure it is hard to not have...2620 Thank you. I am sure it is hard to not have your hubby there. I ha mine home at night, but he isnt' here. He is lost in his depression. This place is a great place to come and let yourself vent. I am sure he is strong enough to handle how you feel, too. Anyway, thank youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1166904722244473922008-07-14T08:32:00.000-04:002008-07-14T08:32:00.000-04:00#2620I'm sorry your husband is deployed. But I tha...#2620<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry your husband is deployed. But I thank God for the men and women who chose this for their careers (my husband has as well). I know he misses you and your monkey more than anything. Thank you so much for your sacrifices. Stay strong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com