tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post1539582159613977110..comments2023-08-25T09:21:25.015-04:00Comments on True Wife Confessions: True Wife Confessions 84 -International direct dial to VietnamDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12920042208198309201noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-72047302956523637802006-10-24T12:46:00.000-04:002006-10-24T12:46:00.000-04:00839, that was a beautiful confession. War is so te...839, that was a beautiful confession. War is so terrible...and pointless. hang in there, both of youAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-83845324631217957312006-10-03T06:52:00.000-04:002006-10-03T06:52:00.000-04:00831? Don't have kids for that reason. Yeah, your...831? Don't have kids for that reason. Yeah, your husband may die before you... but he may be seventy-something, and your kid will be forty-something and living in Hawaii with his wife who doesn't like you. <br /><br />I've seen widowed women who treat their kids as husband-substitutes, emotionally and even financially. It's not pretty. Have kids only because you really, really want to raise a child.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-24320245801881294352006-10-02T15:59:00.000-04:002006-10-02T15:59:00.000-04:00Why do those of you that haven't had sex in years ...Why do those of you that haven't had sex in years stay with your husbands? I'm not asking to be bitchy, I really want to know. Is it just not important to you? Do you have a good relationship otherwise?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-80813511431002989732006-10-02T12:52:00.000-04:002006-10-02T12:52:00.000-04:00833
It's been almost 4 years for me. I felt the s...833<br />It's been almost 4 years for me. I felt the same way... if I didn't initiate it, we didn't do it. So guess what? I quit. After 2 1/2 years of no sex, my husband became disabled and I would guess (as I don't even want to try it) can't have sex even if he wanted to. So I guess it's good I've completely lost my desire, as it's going to be a long, long, long time before it ever happens again (given the circumstances).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-89902631405230979572006-10-02T10:15:00.000-04:002006-10-02T10:15:00.000-04:00#840--My husband did not help with one thing of ou...#840--My husband did not help with one thing of our wedding planning. He didn't even choose the tuxes, or tell the groomsmen how to order them or where to pick them up. I complained about it, but I now I think back on it and it was actually better. I said I wanted him to help, but really I wanted him to say what are you doing, and agree with every decision I made (I'm a bit of a control freak). Anyway--we had a conversation once. He said "What kind of wedding do you want?" I told him all about the church, the dress, the music, the flowers, etc. I said "What kind of wedding do you want?" He said "One that makes you my wife." Sweet. . .I think he got it from a magazine, but still sweet. He really and truly just did not care if there was chicken or fish at the reception. It took me a few years to realize that it didn't mean he didn't care at all--both were equally fine with him<br />If that was your only issue, I would say blow it off because your wedding will turn out to be exactly what you want without any arguments. I am concerned that your BIG issue isn't being addressed. You sound like you are completely turning away from who you are just to marry this guy. Don't make the arguments about the wedding when the real issues are the relationship. You deserve a guy who embraces and celebrates who you are--even the parts of you that are different from him. This doesn't seem to be happening with your fiance. Is he avoiding the wedding planning because he wants to avoid the marriage?? <br />I know the feeling of loving to plan and organize. No one throws a party like me. . .but don't let that be the reason you get married. It is a LONG road to travel and even the best wedding will only last a few hours. Be sure that the wedding is just a step to the goal--not the actual goal. Would you still marry the guy if weddings were suddenly outlawed and you had to just go to the justice of the peace and sign a piece of paper? If not, don't marry him.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-75514183796063175172006-10-02T00:39:00.000-04:002006-10-02T00:39:00.000-04:00i am 838....i just wanted to say thank you to you ...i am 838....i just wanted to say thank you to you all for your kind words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-57266330288852974092006-10-01T16:56:00.000-04:002006-10-01T16:56:00.000-04:00#838
Heal yourself. This was a great first step. ...#838<br /><br />Heal yourself. This was a great first step. You are worth so much more as a woman. You deserve so much more. Thank you for realizing that.<br /><br />#840<br /><br />Ok, lots of guys aren't real into the wedding planning. But giving things up for this man? Making you feel that your wedding is less important to him than his fantasy football? Girl, usually they at least fake it until after the wedding. Please rethink this ~ is this treatment really all you are worth?me, a dreamer and believerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14043777257647114705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-42266958274960470312006-10-01T15:15:00.000-04:002006-10-01T15:15:00.000-04:00833, 4.5 years?! I thought I was going crazy with...833, 4.5 years?! I thought I was going crazy with only having sex 1 time in the past 3 months.<br /><br />Atleast I know the need will go away...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-84466412797676984562006-10-01T11:53:00.000-04:002006-10-01T11:53:00.000-04:00840 - if you have different lifestyle ideals, that...840 - if you have different lifestyle ideals, that's a big deal. That's not something you can "work around" or "get over." And you shouldn't want to...you should seriously rethink where you are on this wedding, life is too short to be banging your head against a brick wall for a guy who doesn't get you. There will always be some male/female not getting each other, but this isn't the same.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-35814026152909853162006-10-01T09:30:00.000-04:002006-10-01T09:30:00.000-04:00Today was intense reading.
838-- my heart was hur...Today was intense reading.<br /><br />838-- my heart was hurting in my chest as I read that. I hope being able to speak of the whole experience was healing. Because just putting it out there was amazing and strong of you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-69457755510408517392006-10-01T01:50:00.000-04:002006-10-01T01:50:00.000-04:00833: You wanted it for two years? It's been only a...833: You wanted it for two years? It's been only a year for me and my desire is already dead. <br /><br />840: LEAVE.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-58975927056557867172006-10-01T00:07:00.000-04:002006-10-01T00:07:00.000-04:00#839
I feel your pain. Hang in there!#839<br /><br />I feel your pain. Hang in there!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-49193993754751329772006-09-30T19:23:00.000-04:002006-09-30T19:23:00.000-04:00My God, #840. Reconsider now, before you say "I d...My God, #840. Reconsider now, before you say "I do." You're giving up too much of yourself for someone else, without even being sure what it is you want for yourself first.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-55270955821938432542006-09-30T18:55:00.000-04:002006-09-30T18:55:00.000-04:00confession 840 do NOT get marriedconfession 840 do NOT get marriedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-44061631141086997242006-09-30T13:31:00.000-04:002006-09-30T13:31:00.000-04:00#838 - you have strength that most people lack. B...#838 - you have strength that most people lack. Be proud of yourself for leaving him, be proud of yourself for being able to tell your story, be proud of yourself for being angry at him instead of yourself. You are a very strong woman, and I am amazed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-41388253211901246812006-09-30T13:27:00.000-04:002006-09-30T13:27:00.000-04:00#838 I am so sorry. Please be well.#838 I am so sorry. Please be well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-67218733449873436382006-09-30T12:11:00.000-04:002006-09-30T12:11:00.000-04:00Lots of heart-warming and heart-breaking confessio...Lots of heart-warming and heart-breaking confessions today. Some comments:<br /><br />#833: First off, you are an excellent writer. The emptiness, pain, bewilderment, and concern are all bundled up and it was amazing to read. From what you specified, I don't think it's a "you" thing, or even a "you two" thing. It smells faintly of depression, stress, or possibly alcoholism; some side effect of an external problem. Good luck, and many virtual hugs.<br /><br />#834: Especially if the overdrinking and the eating disorder predate the relationship, seeking treatment individually can help as well. At least it would stop the downward spiral of one person bringing the partner down. Both afflictions are hard enough to conquer, best of luck to you two.<br /><br />#835: You go girl. That scoundrel.<br /><br />#838: Grrrrr. Good for you for saving yourself. You are stronger than you think.<br /><br />#840: Honestly, I wouldn't take it so personally. There are a few conflicts going on. Re: the wedding plans. Weddings are tough; your fiance sounds like my husband in the fact that he doesn't like big shindigs let alone plan them. You probably had your whole life fantasizing about this day, and he didn't. This is very common. Give him strictly logistical things to do and go ahead with your plans. Re: you giving up your hopes and dreams for this guy. You are setting a bad precedent for the rest of the marriage. I did this too; I was young and thought he would love me less if we had different interests. That turned out not to be true at all; I just assumed it (probably from the example of my own family) and never verified with him. A heart-to-heart is in order. I would consider even postponing the shindig a bit. He fell in love with the aspiring actress and writer; if it is a central part of your soul you are cutting off, he'll catch the whiff of your ennui one day and without realizing his connection to it, just think you're getting dull. I know, that's really insensitive, but it will take years before he'll get to the "reading your mind" stage of partnerhood. Good luck to you!Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17122097564705988658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-88993804231923920172006-09-30T11:52:00.000-04:002006-09-30T11:52:00.000-04:00840 - not to pile on, but 11:19 is right - the wed...840 - not to pile on, but 11:19 is right - the wedding is just a party (a huge, expensive party), with you as the center of attention. It's everything afterwards that's important and frankly lots of guys don't really care about that party, they just care about you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-56824113614905187442006-09-30T11:19:00.000-04:002006-09-30T11:19:00.000-04:00833 - I went through the same kind of thing. He al...833 - I went through the same kind of thing. He always said it was MY fault - I didn't approach him the right way, I didn't know how to flirt, I didn't dress sexy, I wasn't thin enough - but the truth is he just didn't want sex. I got so tired of rejection and hurt that I just gave up, too. I don't think it was our fault, girl.<br /><br />840 - What do you want - a wedding or a marriage? If he doesn't bring you joy now, no magical day of perfect flowers, music and clothes is going to change that. This sounds like a disaster.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-55325511996098458692006-09-30T10:51:00.000-04:002006-09-30T10:51:00.000-04:00838-- You are not ruined. You had the tremendous ...838-- You are not ruined. You had the tremendous courage to leave that rapist. You are a stong woman and you WILL heal. I'll be thinking of you. <br /><br />840-- do NOT get married. Call it off, find a new love. Divorces are painful and expensive, and that's where you're heading. If he's this absent in the planning, can you imagine him in the marrige?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com