tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post115266412036686806..comments2023-08-25T09:21:25.015-04:00Comments on True Wife Confessions: True Wife Confessions 32 - a full set of adult human teethDawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12920042208198309201noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1155435646375804962006-08-12T22:20:00.000-04:002006-08-12T22:20:00.000-04:00No problem. I just tried to explain it the best wa...No problem. I just tried to explain it the best way I knew, and I'm thankful it was understood in the end.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1155056354746355192006-08-08T12:59:00.000-04:002006-08-08T12:59:00.000-04:00That makes perfect sense. I guess different thing...That makes perfect sense. I guess different things effect people different ways. If my SO told me I was getting a little round around the middle or asked when I was going back to the gym, I would obsess over any fat and get it all off. But I can certainly see how, if you've put on a bunch of weight, you could feel like it doesn't matter if you put on some more. And I'm stubborn as well and can understand why you might think, "I'll go back when I want to, not when this asshole tells me to." Thanks for the explanation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154754611568981302006-08-05T01:10:00.000-04:002006-08-05T01:10:00.000-04:00Wow, you're a man. Okay... There was never any ori...Wow, you're a man. Okay... There was never any origianl complaint about lack of attraction or sexual intimacy to begin with. Not in these posts anyway. (If anything, my husband can't get enough, and lets me know waaaay to often). If anything it's more about lack of respect, consideration, maturity,etc..i could go on. Foreplay starts in the mind first. At least for me it does. Its his actions and words that either do it for me or kill it for me. But as far as not understanding the theory of feeling depressed and overweight while still over-eating, I cannot answer for anyone in this state other than remembering what it was once like for me in my own past. I ate to comfort myself. That chocolate chip cookie at the end of the day was a soother,it filled a void, a reward for a bad day, or whatever stressful thing was going on. Also, when you're really dpressed you stop caring about yourself and think "well at this point it wont make any difference. I'm already overweight, yatta yatta yatta" Its a vicious cycle. This is where having a good spouse who can help you climb out of your depression, or lack of motivation, or what-have-you, comes into play. I know mine is not very supportive and it didnt help if he would ask when am I going back to the gym. that would make me want to dig my heels in even deeper and be stupidly stubborn as well as feel self-pity. I knew I had to do it for me but when he would say that it just made me want to kill him, b/c of it felt like I would be doing it for him. How very egotistical of him! In any case, I hope this helps.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154620465604484842006-08-03T11:54:00.000-04:002006-08-03T11:54:00.000-04:00First off, let me be forthcoming. I am a man and ...First off, let me be forthcoming. I am a man and I love this site. I use it for entertainment and in so doing, have discovered I do things that I thought were no big deal that apparently really annoy people. I try to remember to change my behavior accordingly.<BR/><BR/>I've been closely reading the comments on weight issues. I am not fat. And to be honest, I do not like fat. So, there it all is, up front -- stated so you know where I'm coming from.<BR/><BR/>If you are someone who finds extra pounds unattractive, you should try to find someone who feels the same way. The problem, as I see it, is that most people lie intially in an effort to seem like they are a "better" person than they are.<BR/><BR/>I'm not suggesting that people go around saying, "I hate fatties, do you?" But both people in a relationship should be honest about ALL of the things they find attractive in each other from the start. If your husband/wife raved about your body and couldn't keep his/her hands off of you, it stands to reason that his/her lack of affection after you've gained weight is due to the extra weight.<BR/><BR/>This is not to say that there aren't other issues that lead to intimacy problems as well, but it doesn't mean that you should ignore it or expect him/her to overlook it because their not doing so makes them shallow.<BR/><BR/>And I will confess, I simply do not understand this attitude (and this isn't the first place I've heard it) of "Telling me I'm overweight makes me more overweight." I know it is legitimate. I know it happens all the time. Hell, I know from personal experience from a past relationship that positive reinforcement works better. I just would like someone to actually explain to me how being overweight and depressed about it leads one to eating MORE. Is it a matter of just feeling hopeless?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154485671613328672006-08-01T22:27:00.000-04:002006-08-01T22:27:00.000-04:00Dear Original Offender,Your apology was graceful a...Dear Original Offender,<BR/>Your apology was graceful and well put. It's true, as one post says, we are here to vent about the signifcant others in our lives and feel better with whomever we are with. And since we all meet in this forum to breathe relief in some shape or form, we should support each other as well. You're right: noone is perfect. Here's to celebrating our imperfections...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154410106850081012006-08-01T01:28:00.000-04:002006-08-01T01:28:00.000-04:00For christ's sake! Back off you mean girls! This...For christ's sake! Back off you mean girls! This isn't a site to slay one another, it's a site to slay those dudes we are happy/unhappy with. Give me a break, all of you.<BR/><BR/>~Maggiemean girlshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03262021353433321285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154402923270183812006-07-31T23:28:00.000-04:002006-07-31T23:28:00.000-04:00I am sorry for that I offended many people here.I ...I am sorry for that I offended many people here.<BR/><BR/>I orginally thought I was merely posing a question in regard to intimacy problems, but I know that my remarks hurt and offended people and I'm sorry.<BR/><BR/>Though it probably won't be believed I wasn't trying to blame anyone for relationship problems. I know that there are two sides to every story when it comes to relationships and the answers are not always clear-cut.<BR/><BR/>Furthermore, I am SINCERELY sorry for my Twinkie comment. Someone pointed out that that comment was immature and that was very true. Ther is no justification for that kind of conduct and I really am sorry that I let such venom spew forward from my fingertips.<BR/><BR/>Upon some reflection, I see now how my comments came off as judgmental and hurtful. I thought I was making a general comment and therefore it was okay, but I see now how I offended others.<BR/><BR/>I am not perfect and I know that and everyone has a right to their feelings and what I have to say carries no basis since I don't even know any of you. <BR/><BR/>I hope you can accept my apology.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154372845303547972006-07-31T15:07:00.000-04:002006-07-31T15:07:00.000-04:00#3145 & #318 ARE ME!!!!! Except my man is like 4 i...#3145 & #318 ARE ME!!!!! Except my man is like 4 inches. I love him. He's perfect. Cleans, loves me and CLEANS, and cleans himself... I have the best husband ever, but our sex life sucks. He probably thinks it's great. I wonder if he's figured out why I need a glass wine - EVERY TIME.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154356507272347462006-07-31T10:35:00.000-04:002006-07-31T10:35:00.000-04:00I'm fat and I never eat Twinkies.I'm fat and I never eat Twinkies.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154317843897602452006-07-30T23:50:00.000-04:002006-07-30T23:50:00.000-04:00PS....Why dont you go back to the original posting...PS....Why dont you go back to the original postings and read them. Let me know where you're finding complaints about lack of sex.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154317527452955492006-07-30T23:45:00.000-04:002006-07-30T23:45:00.000-04:00Hey Original Offender, 11:53 here... Where in the...Hey Original Offender, 11:53 here... <BR/> Where in these posts did you decide that all of these issues were all directly about physical intimacy or sex? At no time was anyone here posting about sex drives. You decided to go there all on your own and now you are trying to convince us that there is some validity to your point. Which is moot. You obviously have trouble understanding what it is you have said that offends people, no matter how many of us have tried explaining it to you. Its as if you've created your own podium and need to make some point...to someone, I guess.... Citing some unrelated article to justify your need to stand some unrelated ground comes across as self righteous and pompous. As far as those twinkie remarks...incredibly immature.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154302058235376562006-07-30T19:27:00.000-04:002006-07-30T19:27:00.000-04:00Putting down my twinkie long enough to reply.Your ...Putting down my twinkie long enough to reply.<BR/><BR/>Your original post was a response to confessions made by women who were dissatisfied by the fact that their husbands were not intitating sex with them and were not meeting their emotional needs in a sexual capacity. That does not sound to me like women whose sex drives are being suppressed by their BMI. Your article was about decreased sex drive as a symptom of obeisity. If you don't see the difference, I can't teach you here and now. <BR/><BR/>I never said that it was healthy to be fat, nor did I disagree with anything in the article. I just questioned the validity of your evidence to the argument at hand.<BR/><BR/>I do not believe you posted your response out of the goodness of your heart to educate the fat girls about the negative impact of obiesity on their health. You sound just like my ex-husband who would call me a fat bitch, and tell me it was my fault our marriage was falling apart because I had let myself go. I believe he threw in a twinkie reference or two as well. Then he would follow up by saying "but Honey, I only say these things because I love you and am concerned for your health." I am 5"11' and wear a size 12. That makes me fat in the eyes of fashion designers and hollywood casting directors, but not doctors. When I went to my doctor for help losing weight in order to save my marriage he refused to give me diet pills and refered me to a divorce attorney. It was the dest prescription I have ever been given.<BR/><BR/>So you can dismiss my statements as those of another bitter fat girl or you can just own up to the fact that what you said was hurtful to people who did nothing to hurt you. Telling a woman that her marriage may be in trouble because she has "let herself go" is hurtful and callous, no matter what your intention.<BR/><BR/>See how I did that without calling you any nasty names?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154295438027979072006-07-30T17:37:00.000-04:002006-07-30T17:37:00.000-04:00Big,Why did I post here?Because I damn well wanted...Big,<BR/><BR/>Why did I post here?<BR/><BR/>Because I damn well wanted to and I stand by what I said. <BR/><BR/>As it relates to the article, lack of a sex drive in those that are obese can and does affect their partners as well, so the article I reference is valid.<BR/><BR/>If you actually read what I said I said perhaps that part of the problems regarding lack of sex might have to do with weight, this article support that argument. <BR/><BR/>While it doesn't say that a person is perceived as less attractive due to increased weight, it does maintain what I said about the weight and sex correlation. I did assert that physical attraction has to do with it, but I also discussed weight as it relates to our own body image (i.e. feeling sexy). <BR/><BR/>Maybe I'm wrong, but I still don't see why what I said is so wrong. Furthermore, maintaining a healthy weight is good for you physically as well as mentally. <BR/><BR/>And since no one can hear what I am saying you chose to continually cast assumptions about me, let me get down the the level of which you are trying to paint me anyway. <BR/><BR/>Put the Twinkie down, step away from the computer and put Jenny on speed-dial, you defensive fat bitches!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154282057752004462006-07-30T13:54:00.000-04:002006-07-30T13:54:00.000-04:00I just have to chime in here. To "The Original O...I just have to chime in here. To "The Original Offender." I don't understand why you posted in the first place if it was not to defend the husbands who are not satisfying their wives. Why did you post if not to point your finger and say, and I am paraphrasing here, "If your husband does not want you, maybe it is because you have let yourself go." <BR/><BR/>I read the article that you linked to. That article is about a medical study that notes a lack of desire in overweight people, due to health issues, or perhaps, self-esteem. It is NOT about overweight people whose partners have lost interest in them. That is what we are talking about here. That is the debate you started. Don't try to give validity to your opinion by referencing an article that has no bearing on your initial argument.<BR/><BR/>If you can find a scientific study, by a respected instituion, such as Duke that says overweight people have been determined to be less worthy of love and sexual fulfillment than everyone else,then link us up, Baby! I am ready to read it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154273587004517372006-07-30T11:33:00.000-04:002006-07-30T11:33:00.000-04:0011:53 P.M.You said:Of ALL the reasons in the world...11:53 P.M.<BR/><BR/><BR/>You said:<BR/><BR/>Of ALL the reasons in the world for all that shit that we put up with, why would you be stupid enough to even think it's all about our bodies and how we present ourselves physically...even for a second??? <BR/><BR/>First off, I have not resorted to name-calling with you, but I'll get to that in a second.<BR/><BR/>I have maintained repeatedly tnat intimacy and the physical exterior are not mutually exclusive, but, again, you chose to twist my words. <BR/><BR/>As you pointed in your comment, women here are very free with their feelings and opinions and I am free to do the same, even if my opinion is not popular.<BR/><BR/>Additionally, I am a woman that puts up with shit myself. That, however does not make me immune to comments and opinions that I don't necessarily agree with or like. If you don't like what I have to say, that's fine. You don't have to agree with my opinion and that is what is great like a forum like this - the free flow of ideas.<BR/><BR/>Women are not monolithic. We do not have one view or one voice. We have different views and opinions and are as diverse as our beautiful faces and, yes, shapes.<BR/><BR/>If you are ever open to what I'm trying to say, maybe you will someday be ready for articles like this:<BR/><BR/>http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Healthology/story?id=267395<BR/><BR/>Do a Google search on obesity and sex and you will find article upon article like this, so if this wasn't a VALID and TRUE correlation, there wouldn't be articles, books, and dvds devoted to the subject.<BR/><BR/>Of course, as I've said ad nauseum, I know there are other issues at play, but I was talking specifically about intimacy as it relates to weight. <BR/><BR/>Lastly, I'm sure you won't hear anything I have to say as you chalk me up to being stupid. <BR/><BR/>There is A LOT I can say to counter the label you have given me, based on what I perceive to be your defensiveness on the subject, but I won't do that because to do that would reduce you to the way I interpret your comments on an internet forum and that would be inaccurate. I don't know you and I have no idea what you are like, what makes you tick, what makes you happy, what makes you sad and what you do in your life.<BR/><BR/>We are two women who have to differing opinions and that's OKAY!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154231610908360332006-07-29T23:53:00.000-04:002006-07-29T23:53:00.000-04:00To the original offender: You seem to be twisting ...To the original offender: You seem to be twisting everyone else's words. What you don't seem to understand is that the part of what you said that offends people is that you went straight to the weight issue. If you've been reading these confessions, and paid careful attention, there is more to marital woes than lack of sex drive and attraction. There are women in this forum who have to deal with insensitive, selfish morons on a daily basis. Some are getting hurt verbally, emotinally or worse, physically. And we've found a place to vent,relate,laugh, and feel a little less alone with our daily shit. Of ALL the reasons in the world for all that shit that we put up with, why would you be stupid enough to even think it's all about our bodies and how we present ourselves physically...even for a second??? We all know we don't want to be unattractive to our mates, or even for our own knowledge. But to go straight to the weight thing as an up-front reason for marital strife is just coming across as ignorant,SWEETIE.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154199373486593012006-07-29T14:56:00.000-04:002006-07-29T14:56:00.000-04:00I am the person that initially made the comment ab...I am the person that initially made the comment about weight. Based on what I've said people have insuitated things of which I feel no need to justify in this forums, but I will tell you I am woman.<BR/><BR/>At no time at all was I saying that increased weight was justification to treat anyone mean or deprive them of love. If you look OBJECTIVELY at what I said, you would see that I was merely pointing out that weight CAN be a ONE factor in physical and sexual attraction.<BR/><BR/>This is a really interesting forum.<BR/>A woman can confess that she uses her husband's toothbrush to clean the toilet and she gets an "alright sister!" She can confess that she's a cheater and she gets an "amen girlfriend." She can confess that she hates her husband and she gets an "I hear ya!"<BR/><BR/>But let one WOMAN merely broach the topic of weight and physical intimacy and you are ready to lynch HER. <BR/><BR/>I never outright called anyone fat. I never said anyone deserved to be treated fat. I acknowledge that sexual intimacy is a physical as well as a mental issue. Maybe if you are so offended by someone bringing up the issue of weight, you should take a look at why that bothers you so much.<BR/><BR/>Of course I realize that other issues are at play. I realize there is more to life than the exterior. I in no way think anyone should be treated poorly because of their exterior, so don't twist my words.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154187434917890802006-07-29T11:37:00.000-04:002006-07-29T11:37:00.000-04:00I am a new poster here. I am also overweight. I ...I am a new poster here. I am also overweight. I was not overweight when I got married 2 years ago, because I had dieted myself to the point of insanity to drop about 35 pounds for the big day. After the big day, the weight, of course, all came back. Plus some extra, actually. Not that I am blaming genetics totally for this, but some people struggle more with keeping it off due to predispositions. I eat better and less than my 125 (almost underweight) husband, yet I still have trouble losing weight.<BR/><BR/>However, throughout all of my fluctuations in weight--both when we were dating and now that we're married--my husband has continued to find me attractive, and he tells me so often. I count myself very lucky, because I know this is not the case in all marriages. <BR/><BR/>In the past few months, I have gotten motivated on my own, am exercising daily, eating better, and slowly and safely losing weight. I feel better about myself, and more sexy, but I think that is because I am motivated by my husband's love and acceptance of me. Had he been hard on me or pushed me to diet, the mental stress could, I think, very easily have caused the opposite effect. <BR/><BR/>Just some thoughts from someone who has been on both sides of the fence...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154150423995307542006-07-29T01:20:00.000-04:002006-07-29T01:20:00.000-04:00My guess is that 3:57 is either a guy who is tryin...My guess is that 3:57 is either a guy who is trying to justify the "No Fat Chicks" bumber sticker on the back of his car, or a woman who has made herself miserable to stay thin for a man who is not worth the trouble.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154145917609055442006-07-29T00:05:00.000-04:002006-07-29T00:05:00.000-04:00Okay, I'm a new poster here. Anyone who makes the ...Okay, I'm a new poster here. Anyone who makes the weight issue THAT big of a deal is as bad as the husband that #319 is referring to. The 3:57 poster may not realize it, but he/she actually is coming off as superficial and shallow, despite their inability to own up to how they sound. Yes, there is some truth to losing a sense of attraction to your mate if they stop taking care of themselves. But what you're not seeing is the bigger picture: along with that downward spiral of control physically is a symptom of something alot deeper, usually including the eroding state of their current relationship. Sorry 3:57, but you do not sound like someone who is either married or has ever been in a long term relationship. Not that those experiences equate with having weight issues or dysfunction, but I would think you'd have a little more sensitivity to begin with. If anything, you do kinda sound like you've had issues in your past with your weight yourself. Otherwise, why would you bring it up in the first place?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154141009353427142006-07-28T22:43:00.000-04:002006-07-28T22:43:00.000-04:008:03 here. "Just who is resorting to insults here?...8:03 here. <BR/><BR/>"Just who is resorting to insults here?" I thought the last line of my post made it clear that I was only trying to give 3:57/5:51 a taste of his own medicine. He was insulting to 4:41 when that person only expressed a different opinion.<BR/><BR/>"Pointing out that weight can be a factor in physical attraction isn't a mean insult. It's just the truth...." Okay, I will agree with you, to a point. You can't help it if you like the looks of a skinny person more than a fat one (yep, I used the F word). But I stand by my statement that it is shallow to allow a persons looks to dictate how you treat them. If you love a person less because they don't look as good as they used to, then there is some basic component of decency missing from your character. I can't think of any way to express that without being insulting.<BR/><BR/>If I am overweight (there, feel better?) or if I really am simply outraged by the way I have seen my sister emotionally abused by her husband is not important. By making the weight of the person expressing her opinion an issue, you are really saying the opinion of an overweight person is less valid than that of one who is not overweight. That is just wrong.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154134838242423602006-07-28T21:00:00.000-04:002006-07-28T21:00:00.000-04:00It's very interesting that person can be called a ...It's very interesting that person can be called a shallow, hollow, dumb-ass for mentioning, God-forbid, weight here. <BR/><BR/>Any one see the irony here? "Don't be so insenstive and rude to bring up weight issues you shallow, hollow DUMBASS."<BR/><BR/>Just who is resorting to insults here?<BR/><BR/>You are not supposed to call fat people fat. Fat people are "big" "fluffy" "big-boned."<BR/><BR/>Pointing out that weight can be a factor in physical attraction isn't a mean insult. It's just the truth and when people stop being so sensitive and stop tip-toeing around the issue, maybe something can be done about the obesity epidemic in this country.<BR/><BR/>If you are over-weight or one of the many "not that I'm over-weight but I'm speaking for those who are" (um, right...), maybe you should take a look at why bring up the weight issue bothers you so much!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154133153007727112006-07-28T20:32:00.000-04:002006-07-28T20:32:00.000-04:005:51 are you single? You sound like the perfect h...5:51 are you single? You sound like the perfect husband to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154131420341469192006-07-28T20:03:00.000-04:002006-07-28T20:03:00.000-04:00In defense of 4:41. Any person who would neglect ...In defense of 4:41. Any person who would neglect and hurt the person they are supposed to love and vowed to support for life because they gained a few (or a lot) pounds is not worth the trouble of losing weight for. <BR/><BR/>What I see here is a shallow, hollow, shell of a human being who resorts to insults when being called on their worthlessness. And for the record, I am not fat. Someone who I love very dearly is and has been made to suffer horribly for it. If you had a brain in your sorry head you would know that emotional abuse only makes a fat person fatter. Congratulations on being a complete dumbass. Looks like you work pretty hard at it.<BR/><BR/>How does it feel to be insulted when you are just trying o make a point?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29562711.post-1154123518346648292006-07-28T17:51:00.000-04:002006-07-28T17:51:00.000-04:00I am the person who made the comment about weight ...I am the person who made the comment about weight and sex. <BR/><BR/>I DID acknowledge that sex is mental AND physical, so please don't chalk my comments to an obsession over looks.<BR/><BR/>You write me off as a superficial person based on what I said. Based on what you said I could assume that you seem overly sensitive about the matter and must either be over-weight or have a constant struggle with it.<BR/><BR/>Also, contrary to what you might believe, I'm not of the belief that being rail-thin equates to sexually attractive. <BR/><BR/>I do, however, think maintaining a reasonable weight is good for an individual and his or her mate. I am not sorry for saying that. Additionally, I know people who are hindered in their sex life because they don't feel sexy BECAUSE of their weight, so maybe in our overly-sensitive, politically-correct society, that is not the right thing to say, but it's true and sometimes the truth hurts.<BR/><BR/>I was just throwing an idea out there, as I am free to do. Sounds like it hit a little too close to home, "Sweetie."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com