I confess -- a part of me will love you until my dying day. You were the love of my life, and the sex was the best I've ever had in my life of over 50 years.
But I finally had my fill of your bullshit regarding us trying to work things out; you were clearly just stringing me along. Just playing games until I "figured it out", as you claimed you were doing with your sexting with Kathy? Well, I did figure it out. Fuck you and your mind games.
If you remember nothing else about me, remember this: "she was smarter than I ever gave her credit for". I'll never have contact with you again.
It has taken over 15 years, but you have finally listened to me and figured out how to get me to orgasm. Of course, the amount of the shitty sex I have had to tolerate is epic. Not to mention the phase where you didn't seem to care that I wasn't enjoying sex and would just come as fast as you could as I pretended to be somewhere else.
In the past month I did a short sale on the house, moved to a small apartment and attended our divorce hearing (thankfully, you were not there). I buried a friend and my grandmother within ten days of each other and am helping another friend battle cancer. My money is extremely tight, I have no savings and work is stressing me out….and I am still happier then I was when we were married!!! Divorcing you was the BEST thing I could have done for myself!!!
The last eight years of our ten year marriage were a miserable, depressing, anxiety ridden existence that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. You quickly stopped trying to make an effort to maintain a healthy relationship and chose to sit on your ass behind your computer and expect me to do everything. You blamed me for what wasn’t right in your life, could not accept constructive criticism or responsibility for anything and tried desperately to bring me down into your own dark pit of hell. You resented me for trying to better myself by getting healthy while you grew fatter each day. You alienated family and friends, expected me to be there for you financially and emotionally, and once in a blue moon physically, but my needs were of no concern to you.
You are a sad, selfish, pathetic excuse for a human being and my biggest regret is not leaving you sooner. I have good friends and family, I am dating (I forgot how great sex could be) and my mind is at peace. I don’t wish you any harm or evil but I don’t feel the need to ever acknowledge the fact you exist on this planet ever again. GOOD RIDDANCE!!!
You say you don't want my sister to visit.
Fuck you, your father who stayed for four months, your niece who turned the house upside down, and you again.
Your BBQ is terrible. I know you think it is a miracle and some kind of manly acomplishment, but ugh. Just terrible.
I don't love you anymore. I don't want to be your wife but I'm stuck in how I should go about leaving you. I think you are a mongoloid and that we have absolutely nothing in common besides our two children and eating and drinking. I really wish you would speak intelligently and have interest in more things than watching bad television and car parts. You are a terrible lover and in fact, I lost interest in sex with you when you seemed to have forgotten that I enjoy orgasms too, which was YEARS ago. One of the last times we had sex was one of the worst experiences of my life. Your breath was so bad that I wanted to gag and it was all I could do to withstand the torture of those 7-10 minutes (sadly standard for you). I had sex with another man and he ravaged me for two hours: I haven't felt this alive in years. I don't hate you, I just want out.
I wrote to you about two years ago about wanting to sleep with a co-worker. I did not because my husband went through my email and found some of our correspondence. He confronted me on what was going on. It was a huge mess with many touch and go moments of if I would stay or leave. It took a counselor and sheer determination to fix it our problems. . We are closer than we have had been in years and I find myself enjoying his corny jokes.
I will not let you intimidate me. I will not bow to your whims. YOU NO LONGER HAVE THAT POWER OVER ME.
I will do what is right for our daughter not what you want for YOU.
I want to leave you. We don't have a good marriage --- I married you for all the wrong reasons. I loved the adventure of relocating from the States to England and not the man. You are sweet and good to me.
We have arguments (which seem to be increasing more and more) that can get ridiculous and lots of truths come out when we're mad. Bottom line I want to go back home. I miss my single life. I had a good job and great home. I'm too chicken to tell you this, my plan is to leave while you're at work.
Sometimes, I encourage the cat to shit in your basement. If he's going to be accused of it he might as well deserve it.